and here we are looking at two great armies:
Agammemnon(wearing nothing but pink boxers): um....
Kingly Dude: OMG! I like pink! Mine is green!(shows a very bright green boxers)
Random soldier: oh! For pity sakes! Put your pants back on! Old geezer!
Kingly Dude(putting pants back on): Hmmmph!
Agammemnon: Anywayz...let's see who has the most handsomest soldier and whoever it is will win!
K.D.: your on!
Agammemnon: um...where is he?
K.D.: I am He!
Agammemnon: Well....
Random soldier: pssst! Sir, we need Achilles!
Agammemnon: Achilles syamilles! Who need's him! You got me!
R.S.: were doomed!
Achilles(riding on a white stallion and his shaking his hair like in the shampoo commercials):
R.S.#1: what's he's problem?
R.S.#2: maybe he got something on his face.
R.S.#1: oh.....i don't get it!
Agammemnon: what the....what is he doing here! I was gonna have my chance in entering ms. Face!
Everyone: 0o
Achilles: hahaha! I won once again!
K.D.: your....name? what is the name of the shampoo you are using?
Achillles(doing the commercial thing): Lux....lux super rich!
(after 1 year)
Paris(staring at Helen and thinking): what does she use for her facial cleanser? Why am I not pretty like her?! Grrrr! Curse that woman!
Helen: What the hell is he staring at! Do I have something in my face! Oh no! better check out!(runs upstairs)
Paris(run after Helen):
Menaleus: hey! My wife just left!
Hector: Why the hell is everyone thinking!? So, menaleus do we have peace?
Menaleus: No!
Hector: What!? Why you...
Menaleus: I mean of course(cowering) um... send in the girls!
Girls: we are here in front of you! Hello! Now..we are gonna dance!
(paris and Helen)
Paris: Mwahahaha...I am gonna lock this door so she won't get away! And I will kill her.... Wow! Nice room girlfriend!
Helen(examining her face in the mirror): you think so?! Hey, do I have something in my face?
Paris: Yeah! You got nose, eyes...
Helen(rolls eyes): aside from that!
Paris: oh, well....nothing!
Helen: hey! I like you! Can I go with you in troy?
Paris: I don't know...
Helen: I will tell you what's my facial..um...soap!
Paris: Deal!!! (at the ship)
Hector: you know this a very nice posture for my next picture(starts to post)
Paris: um...will you fight with me in a battle?
Hector: Go away you little pest! I am trying to post here! And...NO!
Paris: but! I Brought Helen with me!
Hector(girly gasp): like eeew! No way! We are sailing back to Sparta now! Don't you know she has germs!
Paris: you ca...she has germs? Well, i'm going with her! Just to now her secret soap! And I won't change my mind! you have to throw me aboard first
Hector(shrugs and got hold of paris):
Paris(shouting like a girl): wait! 'll tell you the secret too! Hector: okay!
(back at Sparta)
Menaleus: Hey brotherly dude!
Agammemnon: not again!
Menaleus: let's destroy troy! And get Helen back!
Agammemnon: hmmmm...if he goes in a war there will be a big chance for him to get killed! Alright! We leave now!
Achilles(entering the scene. Breathing loudly): Hey! You were suppose to let me join!
Agammemnon: I hate you! But...ok! (back at troy)
People: yay! We all are gonna die, coz the stupid prince brought the queen of Sparta! At last we can leave this god forsaken place!
Priam: damn! Why didn't they both die..or drowned! My son's!(hugs them both) alright enough with the hug thing!(turns to paris) you!....who's that?
Paris: Helen.....
Priam: ah! Helen! For once gossips were true!(man! She does have big forehead!) come in!
Briseis(runs but slips, then gets up):
Paris! Hector! Paris and Hector: man! Why didn't she just broke her head! Cousin!
Paris: you're a priestess! Cool! Took long for you to be come one didn't it!
Andromache(enters with astyanax): Hector(hugs him)
(at the sea)
Patroclus: Achilles!
Achilles: (screams like a girl)ahhhh! Oh....thought you were a monster.
Patroclus: 0o rrrryt! Anywayz...
Achilles: NO! Patroclus: What?! Achilles: You will stay here and get killed by an arrow!
Patroclus: 0o Achilles: I mean...just stay!
Patroclus: hmmmph! Fine!
Achilles: "Do you know what's waiting there, on that horizon?"
Random Guy: yeah! 100 soldiers and troy!
Achilles(sighs): "Immortality! Take it! It's yours!"
Everyone(silence): Achilles: Man! Get some brain that works! (jumps off and kill someone)
Soldriers(die): unfair we didn't have a chance to say a word!
A/N: well her's chapter 1! pls. R&R!