THE AUTHORESS SPEAKS
YES, AGAIN
ARE YOU GETTING SICK OF THIS YET?
Reviews for Chapter Four, The Scary Chapter of Many Odd Happenings
kaida13- Wolfwood's awesome... /looks around, wide-eyed/ Ice cream? Ice cream where?!
Draikitha- My dog got up on the table once... He actually was standing on it... But that's cuz we let him sit on chairs. Oh, and for some reason every time I try to email you, I get an email thingy back from the mail delivery error people saying they couldn't send it for some reason, so... There's a site called www.lioncrusher.com you can go to... Hopefully that showed up...
Okami Youkai- I know about best friends with bad grammar... I used to edit Eclipse's stories and she never could spell "stairs" right... It was always "stares." (Ha ha ha, sorry Eclipse. You don't care, do you...) And yes, I plan on writing more Wolf's Rain fics... And Cowboy Bebop, and Kenshin, and Trigun... And... InuYasha? Maybe. I have ten favorite anime, so I don't see why I never write anything other than YYH. Prolly cuz I can't write anything without SHADOW.
Koneko- Well, I base Shadow after myself, and everything in these stories comes out of my mind, so that's gotta tell you something... I'm the only person who is REALLY like Shadow... Cuz in a sense, she is me... And Eclipse is my best friend. I dunno what I'm talking about.
xkuroxshinobix- No, they aren't related... It's all explained in my first story... All the way down at the bottom of the list...
Crimson Colored Cloaked Figure- Jeez... Do I hate to keep writing out your name? Can't it just be CCCF? Or CCC? Whatever. No, I don't think I can write faster... There's only so many hours in a day, and I'm only allowed on the computer so many hours out of that day that only has so many hours... Like... I'm usually on here about six hours... But I have other stuff to do and writing a chapter can take anywhere from an hour to three or so. This one's short so it didn't take long...
Mika Saito- Yay. More readers! Just what I need. :) Actually, yes I do. Only two of my stories have 100 reviews... Look back at my earlier ones. What's that? Thirteen reviews? It's a crime!
kiinu- Froot-loop, huh? You know the cereal Froot Loops? I've eaten those since I was really little, but it was only in the last year that I realized they spell "Fruit" wrong... Heh heh. Oops. Shows you my level of intelligence.
Black Cat- Youko and Kuronue... heh heh. And... Your brother can't be the ruler of hell, cuz that's my sister... She used to be evil and scary, but now she's usually cheerful and even more scary because of that.
Name1- Nooo! You cannot die! I cannot kill my readers! That is horrible and inconceivable or however the hell you spell that word... Don't die. You die and I'll kill you.
This chapter is short cuz I didn't have as long to write today, and once I got to what is the end I thought, what the heck, I dunno what else to write without going totally away from the point of the chapter... though the chapter has no point... That's not the point.
CHAPTER FIVE
Pulsating Egg Creature
"Where's Shadow? Does anyone know?" Eclipse asked.
"I haven't seen her since she turned into goo and went into the basement," Tsume said.
"Me neither," Yusuke said, not paying attention.
"Then she's probably still down there," Kurama concluded.
"Maybe she seeped into the piping and got lost," Hiei said absently, using a fork to poke some scrambled eggs he'd found in the fridge.
"Who'd care?" Kurama asked.
"Not me," Kuwabara muttered.
"Wait, what'd she do?!" Yusuke asked, finally realizing what Tsume had said.
"Maybe she's seeping around in the piping and next time somebody turns on a faucet she'll come out," Hiei said.
"What are you guys talking about?" Yusuke said.
"Maybe we should look for her," Toboe suggested.
"Are you kidding, runt?!" Hige asked, startled. "That girl's psycho!"
"She's probably just in the basement," Kurama said, looking curiously at the scrambled eggs Hiei had found. "You're not gonna eat those, are you?"
"Maybe she died," Eclipse said.
"What, from turning into goo?" Tsume said.
"Honestly, Kurama, do you think I'm stupid enough to eat this stuff?" Hiei said.
"Yes from turning into goo! Normal humans don't do that stuff," Eclipse replied.
"Shadow's not normal. Surely you've noticed that."
"Well yeah, I've noticed, but still, she can't do that. She's never done it before, and I don't know how she did it this time!"
"She's special," Tsume said, shrugging. "I've never seen anyone turn into goo either, but that doesn't mean anything."
"Look at this! They bounce. It's like they're rubber," Kurama said, dropping bits of egg onto the floor.
"Shadow'd eat 'em..." Hiei muttered. "She's like a dog. She eats leftovers."
"Yeah she's special," Eclipse retorted. "Special in the head. That is to say, she's got mental issues."
"Obviously... Maybe she's a shape shifter."
"Do they have shape shifters where you come from?"
Tsume gave her a "what do you think?" look.
"Well then why would you think she's a shape shifter?" Eclipse asked.
"So, did you see that football game last week?" Yusuke asked Kuwabara, giving up on the others' conversations.
"No," the baka replied.
"Oh."
"I think they're alive," Hiei muttered.
"I doubt it," Kurama said.
"Maybe if we put it in the microwave for a while it'll kill them," Hiei said, jabbing the eggs with a fork.
"They're not alive, Hiei."
"It's worth a try, isn't it?" Hiei said, ignoring Kurama and taking the plate into the kitchen.
"See, but there aren't any shape shifters here, so she couldn't be. Maybe her genetic makeup just broke down and she turned into mush," Eclipse muttered.
"Goo," Tsume corrected.
"Whatever. D'ya think that's possible, though?"
"What?"
"That her genetic makeup broke down and she turned into goo!"
"I doubt it, but it's a better idea then her being a shape shifter..."
Eclipse narrowed her eyes. "That was your idea."
"Was it?"
"Yes."
"If you say so."
"So anyway, during the half time show, this fight broke out, right?" Yusuke said.
"Uh-huh," Kuwabara urged eagerly.
"And the marching band had to break it up, right?"
"Uh-huh?"
"One of the flute players poked out somebody's eye with her flute."
"Really?!"
"No kidding! I'm serious!"
"How old are you anyway, Tsume?" Eclipse asked.
"What?"
"Your age, stupid."
"Is that really important?"
"No, I'm just wondering how much older you are than Shadow."
"Why, because of her delusion that I'm her boyfriend?"
"Yeah. You have to be at least ten years older than her. That's wrong."
"What does age matter? I'm a wolf. You can't get much different than that."
"That's true."
"HOLY SHIT!" Hiei screamed from the kitchen. Eclipse got up and ran down the hall. Tsume followed at a slower pace.
"Gah! Ew!" Eclipse yelped, seeing what Hiei was so surprised about. Tsume just stared at the microwave and the pulsating blob inside it.
"It's not supposed to do that, is it..." Hige asked from beside him.
"No!" Kurama yelped.
"Shadow's gonna kill you when she sees something living in her microwave," Eclipse said.
"I told you it was alive, Kurama!" Hiei snapped.
"It's some kind of freaky egg creature that feeds off the microwave!" Eclipse pointed out. "Turn off the stupid thing, maybe you can kill it!"
"What?"
"If you don't turn it off, it'll just keep growing," she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Burn it!" Kurama said.
"Burn it?"
"That thing's so big now that if you open the microwave, it'll spill out and bite off your arm!" Eclipse said.
"YOU WATCH TOO MANY DAMN CHEESY SCI-FI CHANNEL MOVIES!" Kurama snapped.
"Me?! Shadow is the Goddess of Cheesiness!"
"WHAT HAS CHEESE GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING? THESE ARE EGGS!"
"I've never seen you so freaked out, Hiei," Kurama said. Hiei made wild gestures with his arms.
"There is a giant blob of LIVE EGGS in the MICROWAVE! SHADOW WILL KILL ME WHEN SHE SEES THIS!"
"Hiei's afraid of Shadow?" Eclipse said to herself.
"Shadow's a scary person. I don't blame him," Tsume said.
"We'll have to make sure she doesn't see it, then," Kurama said, smiling.
"How're we supposed to do that?!" Hiei squeaked.
"Um, guys... It's seeping out the cracks..."
"Shut up!" Hiei screeched.
"Get rid of the microwave," Hige said.
"Oh yeah, that'll keep her from noticing," Hiei said sarcastically. "'Where's my microwave!?' 'Well, Shadow, we kind of grew a creature inside it and it blew up...' 'AHHHHHHHHHHH!' Then murder occurs."
"Yes, that would be about how it'd go, right?" Kurama said.
"Hey, guys... It's... gooing up the floor..." Eclipse said, backing up.
"So what are we gonna do?" Hiei asked.
"YOU IDIOTS! THERE IS A GIANT, SLIMY, LIVING BLOB OF MONTH-OLD SCRAMBLED EGGS GROWING IN THE MICROWAVE! STOP TALKING SO CASUALLY, YOU IDIOTS! IT'S GOING TO KILL US ALL!" Eclipse screamed.
Then, to the rescue came an odd squeal. Nobody could tell where it was coming from, exactly, but they were all fairly sure who it was coming from.
"Plug up the drain and turn on the faucet!" said the odd squeal. Hiei obeyed, and goo came seeping out of the faucet and into the plugged-up sink. Finally, it seeped (not oozed, not ran, not any of that, all this GOO does is SEEP) out onto the floor, quivered for a second, and turned into Shadow.
"EGGS!!!"
And she pounced on the pulsating creature and ate it, just like that.
"Now... who was responsible for putting the egg monster in the microwave?" she asked with narrowed eyes.
"You know, this whole ordeal just gave me a brilliant idea!" Kurama said. "Hiei, come with me." He grabbed Hiei's arm and practically dragged him out the door.
"Kurama just saved Hiei's life, you know..." Eclipse muttered.
"IT WAS HIEI? HIEI PUT THE EGG MONSTER IN THE MICROWAVE SO IT COULD GROW AND FESTER AND PULSATE AND OOZE OUT AND EAT ALL OF YOU? THAT BLOODY FOOL!" Then she paused. "Oh well."
And everybody was terrified of Shadow for quite some time after that, except for Eclipse, because Eclipse is her best friend and best friends are best friends even if one of them runs over the other's arm with a bicycle.
Best friends are best friends even if one of them is the author of these stories and the other one reads them and gives encouragement in the form of saying, "You have problems."
Yes. So Eclipse and Shadow continued being best friends even though one of them had done so many insane, criminal, violent, maniacal, morbid, insane, insane, insane things that it should be criminal. Maybe it is. Maybe that's the criminal thing she's done... Insanity is not a crime.
However, insanity in such amounts as what Shadow has/does/whatever... Insanity that consists of hijacking animal control vehicles and driving them like you have to on Crazy Taxi, insanity that consists of taking so many tranquilizers that it'd kill you but being hyper because of it, insanity that consists of anything any normal human does not or can not do... That might be a crime.
............... ............ ....... ..... .... ... ..
In case you're wondering, yes, Eclipse did run over my arm with a bike, but it was an accident... And it was more funny than painful, looking at the tire marks on my skin...
And she doesn't remember it.
How was it an accident, you ask? And how did my arm end up on the ground for her to run over? I was riding a scooter... And I wrecked, and she was behind me on her bike, and she couldn't stop, then... SPLAT. My arm had tire tracks on it. It was funny. I was laying there laughing instead of saying, "OH MY GOD, THAT HURT, HOW DARE YOU, I'M GONNA KILL YOU, AHHHHH!" Or even, "Oh crap. That hurt. Now I shall kill you." Or even, "LET ME RUN OVER YOUR FACE WITH THAT BIKE AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!"
Nope... I fell down the stairs before and lay at the bottom laughing for five minutes...
On other topics, I think waiting longer between posting chapters has a positive effect... I get more reviews per chapter... And people start getting like, "ARGH, WHEN THE HELL IS SHE GONNA POST? I HATE HER! I WANNA KILL HER!" Then I post and you love me. Heh heh.