Disclaimer: Blah, blah, don't own anything…
The first song is from the movie, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, the second from VeggieTales.
Chapter 2: His Comedic Cheeseburger Tonight!
Soon the day of the show dawned. Everyone was getting ready, arranging things backstage, and with Professor Dumbledore. It was right before Christmas break, and the show day was free, so people would be ready. It began about an hour after lunch.
People went back to the Great Hall to be very surprised at the change. Instead of the usual tables the Hall had a large stage where the teachers usually sat, with multitudes of couches, two-person, three-person, and armchair.
Dumbledore walked on the stage first, microphone in his hand. "Hello, one and all! It's very exciting being at this production as you all must agree! I'd like to introduce as your ehrm… HOST, Susan Bones, who kindly offered/asked just for this! And now… SUSAN!!!!!"
Susan walked on stage as Dumbledore stepped off and went to sit among the audience. She was resplendent in a sparkly black top and tan dress pants. "Hey, everyone, I'd just like to welcome you all and tell you to above all have fun! I'll be announcing every act before they come on, and starting out are Lisa Turpin, Mandy Brocklehurst, and Padma Patil, singing A Comedy Tonight! So let's put our hands together for Lisa, Mandy, and Padma!" She stepped offstage onto the small platform made just for her and sat down to watch.
Everyone started clapping as the curtain opened on Padma, Lisa, and Mandy, all dressed in matching white capris, Padma wearing a blue T-shirt, Mandy a pink one, and Lisa a lilac one.
Mandy: Something familiar, something peculiar,
Something for ev'ryone, a comedy tonight!
Lisa: Something appealing, something appalling,
Something for ev'ryone, a comedy tonight!
Padma: Nothing with kings, nothing with crowns.
Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns.
Mandy: Old situations,
Lisa: New complications,
Padma: Nothing portentous or polite;
All: Tragedy tomorrow, comedy tonight!
Mandy: Something convulsive, something repulsive,
Something for ev'ryone, a comedy tonight!
Lisa: Something esthetic, something frenetic,
Something for ev'ryone, a comedy tonight!
Padma: Nothing of Gods, nothing of Fate.
Weighty affairs will just have to wait.
Mandy: Nothing that's formal,
Lisa: Nothing that's normal,
Padma: No recitations to recite!
All: Open up the curtain, comedy tonight!
The three bowed as the curtain closed and Susan walked out. "Thank you girls, I'm sure we're now aware what awaits us! Now let's welcome Lee Jordan, performing His Cheeseburger."
The curtain slowly opened and everyone smiled, expecting a comedic song, so they were confused when they saw Lee. He was leaning against a pillar with his head down, wearing faded blue jeans, a white shirt, a black leather jacket, and black boots, along with a pair of Mission Impossible sunglasses. The music came on and he started singing, looking up about halfway through his first sentence.
Lee: He said to her, "I'd like a cheeseburger… and I might like a milkshake as well." She said to him, "I can't give you either." And he said, "Isn't this burger bell?"
She said, "Yes it is, but we're closed now, but we open tomorrow at ten." He said, "I am extremely hungry, but I guess I can wait until then."
'Cause you're his cheeseburger! His yummy cheeseburger! He'll wait for you. Yeah! He'll wait for you!
Oh, you are his cheeseburger! His tasty cheeseburger! He'll wait for you. Oh, he will wait for you.
He stayed at the drive-thru till sunrise. He may have dozed off once or twice… When he spotted a billboard for Denny's – bacon and eggs for half price!
How could he resist such an offer? He really needed something to munch. Cheeseburger, please do not get angry. He'll eat and be back here for lunch!
'Cause you're his cheeseburger! His precious cheeseburger! Be back for you. He'll be back for you.
Won't be so long cheeseburger! Oh, lovely cheeseburger! Be back for you. Oh, he'll be back for you.
'Cause he loves you cheeseburger with all his heart! And there ain't nothin' gonna tear you two apart! And if the world suddenly ran out of cheese, he would get down on his hands and knees to see if someone accidentally dropped some cheese in the dirt! And he would wash it off for you! Wipe it off for you! Clean that dirty cheese off just for you…
You are his cheeseburger!
Lee finished the song off on his knees, staring out at the audience with a haunted look in his eyes before he broke out into a huge smile. Everyone suddenly broke out of their slight shock and started laughing and clapping, stating to their friends that they should have expected something like this coming from Lee.
Didja like it? PLEASE review! If anybody has songs to request, tell me in your review with the person who you'd like to sing it and I'll see if I can add it! Thanx for reading my fic!
Perfect Tenshi