Author's Note: After a long delay I'm back on track. I've enjoyed traveling around Europe with my friends very much and I am ready to write for my readers... You probably thought I gave up writing or had forgotten about you, right?
Disclaimer: Blah, blah, and some more blah. Yes ladies and gentlemen you've have heard it from here. I do not own Inuyasha.
Chapter Three
A Heart in Need
She could hear and feel the water pouring on her. Something so light and simple was now heavily weighing down on her. Her hair was drenched and the shampoo was long out of her hair. Steam was billowing out of the shower stalls and creating intense heat in the bathroom, Kagome didn't notice.
It had been a week and still she was immobile. Her days went by and not even the sun could warm her heart. She thought it was over... No, she had hoped it was over and that he was truly buried away in her thoughts. He was never truly gone though. It was all in her head and it was something she desperately believed in. But it was a lie.
Her already devastated heart was even more torn up when she heard the news. Kouga was going to marry. He was going to marry the woman that he cheated behind Kagome's back.
Their wedding was three months from now.
Another sob escaped from her lips. He had moved on and she hadn't. He was in love and it wasn't with her. Drawing her knees closer to her chest she let the tears run down her face again. It mingled with the water that fell from the shower head. Huddled in the corner of her shower, her shoulders shook from all the agony that was pouring out from her. Her hair covered her face, hiding the true hurt that was etched on her face.
The pain was raw. It was the very pain that she felt digging into her skin each day, and it was finally sinking in. She could no longer hope or even pretend that he was coming back for her- that he was going to make up to her for everything he had done in the past. The truth was evident and it was there. Sango had even said so herself, he had moved on and he was going to marry. She was no longer part of him or his life.
It was gone. It was over, just like that.
Her head leaned back, the marbled shower wall supporting the back of her head. If anyone were to walk in and see her now they would see her pain. Her skin had lost its usual glow and instead of a smile on her face it was replaced by a frown. Then they would see her eyes... They no longer contained the bright spark that usually lit up in an instant and her attractive features that made her stand out were replaced by a mask of hurt and self- pity.
Kagome's hands were draped over her knees as she looked up. She closed her eyes and let the hot water splash all over her face. The water instantly washed away her tears, it was a cover-up. However it didn't stop the tears that still fell.
She continued to cry. She cried because for her it was truly over. She was alone and discarded like a piece of trash.
Kouga had left her. He was forever gone.
The other end of the line continued to ring. Seeing that no one was going to pick up, he hung up and let out a deep sigh. She wasn't going to answer again. Running his hands amok through his hair, he sighed loudly again.
It had been seven days since he had heard from her or seen her face. She had secluded herself away from everyone and her home became her safe haven. This worried him gravely; even Kagome's mother didn't know what was going on.
Inuyasha burrowed his brows as he thought about what had happened that night. None of it made any sense to him. One minute they were dancing and then the next minute she collapsed onto the ballroom floor. He remembered holding her in his arms and seeing that her eyes were on that man. He found out later that the man's name was Kouga.
Whoever that man was...
Afterwards the rest was a blur. All he knew was that Kagome had stopped coming to work- that was when the confusion began.
He had taken her to the hospital and she was released a day later. He hadn't been there when she was released, he was in a conference. But he had called her a numerous times. He even went to great lengths to drive all the way out to her home and try to visit her. Each time was a failure.
She never answered her door and he would give up, his shoulders draped in defeat.
He chewed on the bottom half of his lip wondering exactly what had happened in her past. What it was that made her panic that night?
He sunk back in his chair and his hand found its way to his tie. Loosening the knot, he undid it and freed his neck from the tie's restraint. The day was almost over. It was a Friday- which meant no work for him tomorrow.
He stuffed his arms into his jacket and got up from his chair. Looking back at his office once more he then turned off the lights. He had been in there long enough and needed a breath of fresh air. He decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. Slowly he was wasting even more time, he was nervous again. Finally he had reached the multi-level parking lot and headed casually towards his car.
Looking around he saw that he was again the last to leave from work. It hadn't been a surprise to him; Inuyasha usually worked meticulously and very late hours when he was under stress. He unlocked his car door and climbed in, contemplating on whether he should drive all the way out there to go see Kagome.
He decided he would try again. The question was would she let him in?
Sango's eyes followed the words on the newspaper. It was from a week ago but she still continued to read it. Her eyes widened when she found what she was looking for. Kouga's fiancée was Ayame Hamasaki. Sango paused from her reading; the name sounded familiar...
Sango placed the newspaper down and headed out into Kagome's living room. Souta was sleeping on the couch next to the phone. He was waiting for his sister to call. Sango had a sad smile on her face, Souta, like everyone else was worried about Kagome. It wasn't like her to keep herself away from everybody.
Sango sat down on the couch across from Souta and looked outside the window. She was staying at the Higurashi shrine to help out Kagome's family with taking care of the shrine. Her grandfather had gone on a visit to China to stock up on more rare medicinal herbs; he had yet to hear about Kagome's ordeal.
Seeing that Souta was stirring Sango turned her focus on him. He had finished rubbing his eyes and looked at Sango. "What time is it?" he whispered- his voice was foggy from sleep. Sango shook her head; she didn't know the time either.
Souta sat up and stretched his tired limbs. "Did she call yet?"
Sango shook her head again. "No... I'm afraid not Souta. But I did find out something."
"What is it, Sango?"
"You know the newspaper from seven days ago? I reread it and found out that Kouga's fiancée's name is Ayame Hamasaki. I've heard that name somewhere before- I just can't pinpoint it though."
Souta shrugged and raised a brow at Sango. "I don't know what to say... I've never heard that name before, at least I don't think I have."
Sango's lips tightened and her forehead had a deep crease across it. "It sounds so familiar... Where have I heard it before?" Souta stood up, "Maybe we can find something in her old bedroom?" Sango nodded and followed behind Souta to Kagome's old room.
The door creaked when Souta pushed the door open. It had been years since the room was touched. The only new inhabitants that lived in Kagome's old room were the dust. Sango stood in the middle of the room looking around. It had been awhile since she had seen this room. The cream-colored walls were now faded. In the corners of her room the wallpaper was peeling and her bed was still in the right corner, right beside the large window.
This was the same room where she and Kagome had spent hours in, just talking and laughing. Sango smiled at the thought. Those were the days when Kagome was truly happy. It was before she had met Kouga...
"Mom never had the heart to clean out everything from Kagome's room... even after Kagome had begged her too." Souta whispered, also looking around. Sango gave a nod and draped her arm around Souta's shoulder. "I guess your mom just never had the heart to let go. It's hard for parents to let go of their children, especially once they realize that they're not depending on their parents anymore."
Souta let out a sigh. "Yeah... The other day Mom called Kagome about twenty times. She was scared because she doesn't know what to do. She can't comfort Kagome and it just scares her. It's Kagome- she never hides away from anyone. She always lets people know how she feels, she trusts people- you would think she would go to her family for help instead."
"Come on Souta lets get to work. I know we'll find out who this Ayame is in this room... I think she will be the key to solving this puzzle."
The drive had been long as usual only to have rain add to the elongated time. The heavy rain was enough to make anyone stay off the road that night- anyone that had a decent mind at the time.
However Inuyasha he didn't care, it had been too long and he had spent too much of his time wondering 'why?' The rain wasn't going to change his mind. Parking his car in the only empty parking space he jumped out of the car and ran towards Kagome's apartment complex. He ran up the stairs and knocked on her door. No one answered; instead he was greeted with an eerie silence and the soft drumming of the rain in the background.
He rolled his eyes. "Not this again," he muttered under his breath. He banged against the door a bit more loudly, still there was no answer. "Open the door Kagome! I know that you're in there!" He stood in front of the door, glaring at it fiercely. Nothing had happened.
His short temper got a hold of him. He kicked at the door, not caring at all that he was ruining his expensive shoes or wrinkling his suit horribly. "Kagome open this god damn door right now! I didn't come all the way out here to play games with you!" He pressed his ear against the door and heard nothing. A sudden thought came to him, he stood on his tip toes and touched around the top of the door frame, he smiled when he felt a spare key.
Jamming the key into the keyhole rather roughly, he flung aside the door once it was open and stepped inside. It was dark and quiet, he felt tense. Inuyasha ran his hand across the wall searching for a light switch. When he felt one he flicked on the lights and looked at the apartment in the illuminating lights.
It was a mess. There were empty tissues boxes lying haphazardly on the ground next to the crumpled up piles of tissues. His eyes traveled towards Kagome's living room and saw more garbage on the ground and an empty carton of ice cream and the used spoon.
Hanging his wet jacket on one of the dining table chairs he headed towards Kagome's room; or at least attempted too. The first door on his right was the bathroom and the second one was a guest room. He wasn't good at guessing games.
Heading cautiously towards the last room in the corner he opened the door as quietly as possible. He poked his head inside and saw Kagome sitting in a chair; looking outside of her balcony window. Her hair was wet and stringy form her long shower and her eyes were sunken in and lost. Inuyasha closed the door behind him and walked over to her. His hand reached out to her face and cupped her cheek. He was surprised when he felt her skin, it was cold as ice.
Kagome didn't respond. She closed her eyes and pulled away from Inuyasha's hand. "Why are you here?"
Inuyasha flinched slightly when he heard the sharpness in the tone of her voice. He stood his place however and looked at her. "I was worried about you. You haven't been answering your phone or even coming to work... What's going on?"
Kagome opened her eyes however still avoiding Inuyasha's eyes. "I'm just under the weather that's all. I'll being coming back to work on Monday..."
"Is that it? Is that why you've been avoiding everybody that cares about you for the past week... because you're sick?! Kagome I want to know why you collapsed at the party, why you kept shaking, and why you were looking at... at him!" Inuyasha held her small hands in his, trying to keep her warm. He bit his tongue back from lashing back at her. She was in pain and it wasn't the time to confront her- that would be some other time.
Kagome pressed her lips back against her teeth. She was trying to hold back her tears and all the emotions from this week. Her eyes watered and her lips trembled. A teardrop fell and she didn't succeed. Kagome leaned closer into his embrace, her nose buried in his wet suit. Her arms tightened around his torso, grasping onto him.
She had missed him.
She began to cry incoherently again. She had needed somebody this whole time and instead she had pushed everybody away. She was beginning to realize her mistakes. "I'm... I'm so sorry. I didn't... I didn't know what to do... when I saw him I thought... I thought..."
Inuyasha gathered Kagome into his arms. "Shh... Its okay, its okay- just let it all out." Kagome shoulders shook as her continuous teardrops fell. She shook her head against his chest, her hands gathering a fistful of his suit.
"No... It's not okay. He's getting married." She whispered.
Inuyasha pulled back and looked at her tear-stricken face. "What do you mean Kagome?" His heart clenched in fear. Kagome closed her eyes again and dropped her head down. Her shoulders sunk low while she fought to keep a steady voice. "He's marrying her... The woman that he cheated on me with... I called her my friend once."
Sango coughed as a huge dust cloud flew around her face. Obviously underneath Kagome's bed it was a lot dustier than she thought. "Aack! I think I just ate some dust... God this box is heavy- help me out Souta." Souta lied flat on his belly beside Sango and helped her pull out the box that was under the bed. Dragging it across the floor the two pulled the box all the way out from under the bed and sat down.
"What is in this box?" Sango asked as she ripped off the duct tape on the box, while waving away the tiny particles of dust that were flying around her face. Souta opened the box and pulled out the first object that he saw. It was a scrapbook from Kagome's childhood years. "Oh! I remember this. Kagome had made it in first grade when she was at summer camp. It was for the campers to add memories unto the book each year- their last year was right before they go to middle school. It was camp rules or something like that."
Souta flipped the first page and saw a picture of Kagome standing at the entrance of the summer camp. Sango leaned closer and looked down at the scrapbook. "Was this before I met Kagome?"
Souta nodded his head. "Kagome had stopped going to that summer camp right before middle school. That was definitely before she had met you." Souta flipped another page and his eyes widened. "Sango look at this..."
Sango's jaw dropped. It was a newspaper picture of Kagome and several other girls. In the middle of the picture there were three girls hugging each other and Kagome was in the middle of the group. To Kagome's right was a little girl with red hair and a large smile plastered on her face. Sango's eyes traveled down to the small caption under the picture. 'A sorrow goodbye for the fellow campers, the young twelve years old girls pose for one last picture.' Sango read on until she found what she was looking for.
'In the center of the picture are Kagome Higurashi and two of her friends that she had met at camp, Eri Saoki and Ayame Hamasaki.' Sango dropped the scrapbook and looked at Souta. "I don't believe it..."
Souta shook his head in disbelief and stared at the picture. "Now I remember..." he whispered. His finger pointed to Ayame in the picture. "Now I remember who she is... She was the one who used to come over here every summer and stay with us for about a month. Her parents were in the Peace Corps and every summer Mom agreed to watch her. After all her mother and Mom were good friends in high school. That's how they became friends and that's how they ended up going to summer camp together."
Sango shook her head in disbelief. "It was her friend? How could she... I... I didn't know."
Souta closed the book and threw it in the cardboard box. "She never told you? Well I guess it was because Kagome never forgave her. It wasn't because of Kouga but because of something else. Ayame was moving to China that summer- it was after they're last camp session had ended. Ayame's father had passed away and her mother wanted to relocate to China because it was easier to handle the missionary work there. Ayame never told Kagome, Kagome found out the hard way... She went to her house the night after they had moved and found out it was empty. Kagome went the day after they had moved... Kagome never heard from her since."
Sango bit down on her lip and looked at Souta. "But why? Why didn't Ayame send her letters or something? They were best friends after all." Souta shrugged and looked at his hands. "That I'm not sure about. Kagome moved on though, she and Eri became good friends and then she met you. Ayame became a name in the past... Now what happened with Kouga, Kagome, and Ayame- now that was a freaky coincidence. I don't think Ayame ever knew about Kouga and Kagome though..."
"What do you mean Souta?"
Souta wiped his dirty hands on his cargo pants and looked up at the ceiling. "Ayame called here three days after Kagome had moved away from the Shrine. She wanted to talk to Kagome and apologize for the incident. I hung up on her when I found out who she was; the one Kouga was having an affair with. She had hurt my sister one too many times, I couldn't find it in my heart to forgive her or give her the chance to talk with Kagome."
Sango rested her head against the wall and looked up at the ceiling too. "Where does Kagome go on from here now? I just wish there was something I could do Souta."
Souta nodded; a small frown on his face. "I know but this is something that she needs to deal with on her own. All we can do is be there for her. But I know Kagome, she'll pull through. She'll be able to move on from this and find something even better for her. I have a feeling that it'll be waiting for her at the end of that bridge."
It had been two hours now and Kagome had fallen fast asleep in her bed. Her hair was dry and smoothly splayed across her pillow. Inuyasha sat in the chair that Kagome had sat in previously, it was pulled up close to the bed. He watched her sleep and recapped everything she had told him in his head. He now knew who Kouga and Ayame were. He understood it now...
She had cried in his lap and told him everything. Most of it was incoherent but he still managed to grasp the main concepts. She was engaged once, she had loved Kouga a long time ago. Inuyasha's heart was somewhat disheartened at the news she revealed to him.
She had loved someone else before him...
He quickly shook his head. He wasn't supposed to get attached to Kagome. He wasn't supposed to... He sighed and rested his arms and head on her mattress.
Who was he kidding? He was slowly being to feel something for Kagome. He wasn't sure what it was but it was something. Then he realized that his hand was an inch away from her face, he pulled back. 'What the hell am I doing?'
His eyes quickly landed on his hands. They were large and firm, the complete opposite of Kagome's. He stared at them wondering if he could even touch something so pure when she wasn't even awake. He then looked at Kagome and saw the reason why he felt like this.
His hand withdrew back to him and he continued to look at her face. It was serene and happy now. She was in a much better state and he smiled knowing that he had helped her tonight, but another part of him sank.
She still didn't know...
Guilt panged inside of him as he continue to look at the sleeping figure. She was so young and innocent; there was no way she could know... He sighed and leaned back in his chair. He wasn't supposed to get attached to her, it was supposed to be for that one night and then he would move on. She would be another pretty face lost in the back of his head.
This wasn't supposed to be.
He shouldn't have to chase after her. He shouldn't have to have these types of feelings for her. What was it about her that made his heart jump whenever he saw her? What was it that made him feel warm and happy on the inside, like a little school boy who had a crush.
His head rested on a palm of his hand the other drumming against his knee.
This feeling made him worry. It was completely new for him and he was terrified of it.
Slowly he closed his eyes, he would worry about it tomorrow.
Tonight all he wanted was a good night's rest.
The sound of laughter and the soft scent of her hair woke him up. A surge of warmth flooded through his veins when he heard her laughter- it was such a pretty sound too. Inuyasha lifted his head from the mattress and looked up. Kagome's hand gently brushed back his bangs and gave him a cheerful smile. His skin slightly tingling at the touch of her hand.
"Hey there, did you sleep well?" she asked, her head slightly tilted.
Inuyasha sat up and winced slightly when he felt that his whole back was sore. Half of him slept in the chair and the other on the bed. It wasn't exactly a five-star treatment but he didn't mind.
"I've had a better time sleeping in my own bed... But I'm not complaining." He gave Kagome a half-smile when he saw how happy she was. Her whole face was a glow; she was slowly coming back to her usual self. "I take it you're better now?"
Kagome nodded and climbed out of bed. "I am... Thank you for coming last night, it really helped me out a lot." Inuyasha stretched his arms over his head and gave her a nod. "No problem." Kagome gave him one last smile before she exited from her room. As she was leaving she called out to Inuyasha and said "I'll make breakfast. Do whatever you want, you can make use of the shower if you want. I'll put your suit in the dryer."
Inuyasha got up from the seat and placed both hands on his back, satisfied to hear a loud crack he went over to the bathroom.
Kagome placed breakfast on the table and went over to the laundry room. The dryer buzzed and Kagome took out Inuyasha's wrinkled but dry suit. She shut the dryer door and placed the clothes on the iron board. Managing what she could with her little iron, she took out many of the wrinkles. Draping it over her arm she headed towards her bedroom to hand Inuyasha the clothes.
She jumped back and her eyes widened when she saw that Inuyasha was in nothing but a towel. Her eyes averted away from his very wet and toned chest. "Umm... Here are your clothes I did my best... but I'm not the dry cleaners so no guarantees."
Inuyasha stood there, staring at her and laughed.
"What's so funny?" Kagome asked, suddenly finding her carpet so interesting.
"Since when did you become so shy?" he asked still chuckling at her innocence. "Am I that ugly?"
"No... It just that when you decided to stand in front of me, parading around my bedroom half-naked I became shy." Kagome laughed and threw his clothes at him. "Put on your clothes Inuyasha."
Inuyasha shrugged and raised a brow. "Your loss..." Kagome smiled and rolled her eyes. "Breakfast is on the table so when you're fully clothed you can join me." Inuyasha closed the bathroom door behind him, his laugh echoed off her bathroom walls. "Fine, I'll be there in a minute."
"Good."
"You know the offer is still up for grabs?" he suggested.
"Inuyasha!"
"I was just joking... somewhat."
"We are done talking about this now." Kagome closed her bedroom door behind her and went to go answer the ringing phone. Today everything seemed so bright, the sun had never seen so perfect before. It was almost a blessing in disguise.
She picked up the phone in her kitchen. "Hello?" she answered.
Kagome cradled the phone between her neck and shoulder while pouring orange juice in the two glass cups. She wasn't a morning-coffee person, Inuyasha would have to deal with it.
"Hello?" she said again, unsure if the person had hung up or if they were still on the other line.
"Hi... Kagome?" the timid voice asked. Kagome paused at her ministrations, the voice had sounded awfully familiar- she wasn't able to figure out whose it was though.
"This is her, may I help you?" There was the silence again. "Yes?" Kagome said, slightly frustrated with the hesitant speaker.
"Kagome it's me, Ayame..."
It didn't take Kagome long to react to that name. She dropped the phone and stared at the spilled orange juice on her counter. But she didn't fully comprehend until the impact of one of the glass cups shattered on the floor, the fragments of the glass pieces flying out everywhere.
That was how she felt at the time, like the broken pieces of glass.
"Hello? Kagome are you there? Kagome! Kagome can you hear me?" The voice in the phone was slowly fading in Kagome's mind.
Kagome slid down to the floor with her back against the cabinets. She looked down at her hands and saw that it was bleeding but she couldn't feel any pain.
Everything felt so numb...
Mrs. Higurashi looked at her son and Sango in disbelief. "What are you two talking about? That can't be... Are you sure?"
Sango sighed and nodded. Souta gulped down his piece of toast and stared at the family's obese cat, Buyo. It was never easy to tell his mother about things like this, Mrs. Higurashi always wanted her children to be happy. The past years had been hard for both Kagome and their mother.
"It's true Mom." Souta confirmed
Mrs. Higurashi closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She did that whenever she became stressed or upset. "Oh dear is that why Kagome has been so distant with us? I guess we should go visit her this weekend... Souta why don't you go upstairs and get me my phone book- I think I still have Mrs. Hamasaki's number."
Souta pulled his gaze away from the obese cat, amused by Buyo's attempt- who was pitifully trying to catch the butterfly. However the butterfly was outside on the other side of the window, Buyo was inside.
"You're going to call Ayame's mother?" Souta asked, while flicking his small pieces of the toast's crust at the cat. Souta hated the crust of the bread. Buyo obligingly opened his mouth and let the small pieces pile in his mouth and swallow. Sango looked at Souta disapprovingly. She didn't think Buyo should eat more breakfast considering he went through four cans of Whiskas this morning alone- it was not a healthy diet.
Mrs. Higurashi didn't notice anything and kept her lips in a tight line, ignoring her son's question. "Just get the book. I need to talk about some things with her." Souta got up from his seat and ascended up the stairs to retrieve the book. Sango grabbed Souta's and her own empty dishes and placed them in the sink. She was about to wash the dishes when she hear the front door being unlocked. Sango turned around and her eyes met with Mrs. Higurashi's.
Both had looks of panic and their face. Sango shut off the sink water and prepared herself for the impact.
The front door slowly opened. It was creaking loud enough to let the residents inside the house know that someone was entering. The shuffle of shoes being taken off was heard and then the soft padding of socks scuffling against the wooden floor. The person paused in front of the kitchen before poking his head inside. "What smells so good in here? Oh! Hello Sango... What are you doing here?"
Sango gave a nervous smile at Kagome's grandfather. "I was just..." Sango paused and looked at Kagome's mother who was hastily scrubbing the kitchen table, she was nervous too. "I was just here to..."
"Mom I found the black book! Now you can call Ayame's mother and... Grandpa! What are you doing back here so early? I thought you had a week's more of stay in China?" Souta stealthily hid the black book behind his back and dodged his eyes away from his grandfather. However Kagome's grandfather took notice of everybody's cautious behavior.
"What is going on? Sango... Souta... Kaiya...? And where is Kagome, where is my granddaughter?" Kagome's grandfather shifted his weight on the other leg to make himself more comfortable. He looked at the three guilty faces and waited for his answer.
Meanwhile Sango tucked a large chunk of her hair back and crossed her arms. She could feel the overwhelming tense growing. "Well..." she started and then shut her mouth. For some reason she couldn't bring herself to say the words. Kagome's mother cleared her throat; everybody's attention was on her.
"Well you see Dad... Kagome's... well she was... It's seems some problems came up while you were away."
Kagome's grandfather clucked his tongue once and looked at his daughter questioningly. "What are you saying Kaiya? Is this about Kagome and that one boy- the one she was going to marry?"
Kagome's mother frowned and nodded. "Yes, she hasn't been home to take care of the shrine while you were away. Kagome's locked herself at her apartment and no one has heard from her. At least that's what I believe."
"There's more isn't there?" Kagome's grandfather sighed and pulled out his favorite dining chair, he sat down stiffly and looked over at Souta. "Why don't you tell me the rest Souta- your mother and Sango have other things to do around the shrine- am I right?" The two women nodded, understanding that he was asking for them to leave. Kagome's mother ushered Sango out the door with a broom. "Come on Sango- I think the Shrine's steps need a little sweeping and such..."
Sango mouthed 'Good Luck' to Souta and headed outside. Souta sat across from his grandfather and gulped silently. "So... What do you want to know Grandpa?"
"Well... I want to know everything about last week's event, from the beginning to the end- and I want every nitty-gritty detail." Kagome's grandfather smirked. He knew how close Kagome and Souta were.
Souta slapped a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes. "I can't believe I'm going to say this..." he muttered. Kagome's grandfather leaned back in his chair and waited for the news.
It was going to be a long conversation in the kitchen.
A very long conversation...
AN: I know I promised my readers for A Country Life an update but I still have to edit and rewrite some parts. My beta is on vacation which means I have more work to do for chapter eight in A Country Life. However don't worry I'll have that chapter up and running pretty soon. Meanwhile you guys can dwell on what I am going to come up with next in chapter four, I know I'm so evil...