Disclaimer: Still don't own anything from the O.C., still haven't made up any original characters, and I'm not makin' any money!

Question: Can someone tell me why I can't seem to find my story on the fanfiction site, but others have? I know that they must have, because I've gotten reviews. I just thought that it would be cool to see my story, and I can't seem to find it. Am I just unobservant?

Author's Note: Thank you!!!!!!!!! I am so blessed to have received such wonderful reviews! I truly did not think that anyone would care, let alone appreciate what I had to say. I cannot believe the wonderful people at this site.

I truly do not know how to thank everybody. How about cyber Starbucks? J

I do not intend to thank each reviewer personally, every time, but these people are special to me. They are the first to review my writing, and they are so kind and generous. They will always hold a special place in my heart.

Antigone11: "very dramatic and scary" wow! Thank you. That is a really great compliment! J I truly hope that you are okay with what happens in this chapter. It is not rape, but it is not pleasant. I never intended for there to be any sexual references in this story at all; that's just not what I usually create. But, as weird as it sounds, sometimes, the story just writes itself for me. I try to make it go my way, and sometimes, I just can't make it work. It really is like the characters and plot have their own wills or something. I tried several times to change this story back to a history of physical/emotional abuse only, but it just doesn't work. I hope that you can enjoy my story anyway. If not, I understand, but I appreciate the kind review.

Skyeyes, BlueStarGirl, and BeatlechickSteph: Thank you all so much for your kind, encouraging words. I really never thought that people would be anxious for my next posting, and I cannot tell you how gladdened I am that you like my work! *giggles*

RachelCarter2428: I hate cliffhangers too! I tried to make this one better, just for you. You have a note at the end! J By the way, what does Imfao mean?

Brandywine421: I am truly honored that you have read my first chapter. I have read everything that you have written, and you are my favorite author. You are an incredible writer, and you are so interesting. I honestly feel like I have met a celebrity. I had to triple-check the reviewer box to be sure that it actually did say your name! I am anxious to see what you think of my writing. I'm so nervous! I hope that you like what I have to say, and how I say it, but if you don't, it is enough of an honor that you are even reading my story! Thank you.

Seriously, everyone, read Brandywine's stories! She's spectacular!

Back in the Hole

Chapter 2

The Old, Familiar Dance

As the blood dripped into his eyes, a disconnected part of Ryan's brain realized that he had a gash on his forehead. Rather than worry about A.J.'s return into his life, Ryan's brain apparently decided that it would be better to decide how he had gotten cut. Oh, yeah, Ryan thought. He slammed my face into the brick. That must be how I got cut.

"Yo! Shithead!" A.J. hissed, his hot, rancid breath bringing Ryan back to the cold, painful reality of the situation. "Pay attention!" With that, A.J. moved his hand from Ryan's upper back and grabbed another fistful of his hair. Normally, Ryan would have tried to take advantage of this opportunity to squirm out from under A.J., but he knew that it was futile. He'd been here before. If A.J. wanted to hurt him, A.J. would hurt him, and there was no use fighting it. Ryan tried not to gag from the stench of A.J.'s breath, as the older man pulled Ryan's head out from the wall and slammed it three more times into the brick. Because Ryan's face had been turned to the left, his right temple and ear took the full brunt of the blows. At the first one, Ryan managed to hold in his grunts of pain, but the second and third impacts forced the sounds from him.

While Ryan was still dazed, A.J. leaned in again, replacing his hand on the boy's upper back. Ryan squeezed his eyes shut again, reacting to the pain, the blood, the stench, and the fear.

His mind continued its fragmentation, a part of it whispering, Notagain-not again-not again-not again-notagain… The other part remained calm and cool, reminding himself that this was just the way life is. There's always pain, and things never change, and they never work out for the best. This is the part of the brain that told Ryan to stop struggling, stay quiet, and just wait it out. Feeling A.J.'s entire body pressed against his made this task difficult. He tried to breathe regularly, but began gasping loudly. Fighting the spiral of panic, Ryan struggled with everything he had to remain calm, and listen to the practical part of the brain, but he could feel that the control had slipped away.

A.J., noticing the boy's routine reaction, smiled, and he took advantage of his power. He slowly began to grind his body against Ryan's, laughing out loud when Ryan's gasps turned into panting moans. A.J. knew that he had a small window before Ryan freaked out completely, and--while it would be fun to watch the kid lose it--he needed Ryan coherent. Ryan was no use to him if he couldn't listen.

With his face pressed right against Ryan's, A.J. started to whisper. "Look, kid, shut up and stop squirmin'. I know that you're not the last jerk in that restaurant, and we got business to 'tend to."

Ryan could barely hear the words, and it took a few seconds for him to comprehend their meaning. A.J. wasn't going to take him away? He was going to complete some business with Ryan, and then let him go? It was almost too much to hope for. He could sense A.J. waiting for a response, and Ryan searched his mind for the appropriate one. What would make him go away the fastest, after causing the least damage?

Ryan took in a deep, hitching breath, quieted his moaning, and nodded slightly, hoping that this was what A.J. wanted.

"Good," A.J. whispered, as another evil little grin played across his face. "Let's make this quick. Wouldn't want your little friends to see me out here. You know I don't like to be recognized."

Sensing that it was time for him to respond again, Ryan repeated his nod.

"Your ma tol' me that you got yourself a sweet deal out here. At first, we didn't care, 'cause, to be honest, we were glad to be rid of ya. But then we started thinking', 'why should he have it so easy? The little shit's livin' the high life, and WE'RE stuck in FUCKIN' CHINO, with fuckin' RATS in the LIVING ROOM!'"

A.J. had gotten more and more angry as he spoke, and this last was practically shouted. Ryan flinched, afraid that A.J. would lose control, like he usually did, but A.J. calmed down.

"So we decided," A.J. continued, "that you owed us. You should repay us for all that we've done for you! I had to put up with you for six fuckin' years, and I treated you like my own son, and you just ditch us!? You're a fuckin' shit!" The anger took over, and A.J. took his hand from Ryan's back and slammed his fist into Ryan's left kidney, once, twice, three times.

Ryan bucked, blinded by the pain. He felt himself sliding into blackness, and then felt his stomach revolt. Oh, shit, he thought, as he puked all over the wall. He would have collapsed if A.J. had not still been holding onto him. As A.J. slammed Ryan flat against the wall again, Ryan groaned. Ryan had actually planned to argue the point that A.J. had never acted like a father, but the practical part of his mind forced him to think better of it. He was already in enough pain, and there was obviously still more of this little encounter to go through. No sense intentionally bringing some more beatings. That would just be stupid.

"So here's the plan," A.J. continued, as if they had not taken a break for some minor kidney damage. "You're going to go back to that fancy lawyer's house, and you're going to make a list."

Ryan sighed in defeat. He knew what was going to be demanded of him. And he had no idea how to get out of it.

"This list of goods better be right, man, 'cause you're gonna invite your mom over for a little heart to heart in a couple days, and she's gonna check your work. Get me?" he snarled, spittle flying into Ryan's face.

Ryan nodded again.

"Okay," A.J. grinned. This little shit had always been easy to manipulate. Sure he mouthed off and fought back every once in a while, but he was such a little pussy; all you had to do was get close to the kid, invade his space a little, and he'd shut down and do anything you wanted. Chuckling, A.J. leaned in fully, pushing as hard as he could against Ryan, pressing him painfully into the wall.

Ryan kept reminding himself that this would be over soon, that A.J. wouldn't go too far this time, because they were in public, and his co-workers would be coming out soon. Part of Ryan wished they would come out now, and make A.J. go away, but that was the little boy in him. The 16 year old Ryan Atwood knew that any witnesses would just bring more shame, and A.J. would still get his way. He always did.

"I'll find you tomorrow, fucker," A.J. growled into Ryan's ear. "You'll give me the list, and then I'll tell you when to bring us the stuff." Ryan nodded again, just wanting A.J. to leave, when his nightmare suddenly came to life.

A.J.'s hand had begun to slide down Ryan's back. The world started to spin, and Ryan begun to float away, but he was pulled back by the sudden grinding pain in his wrists, as A.J. twisted them in his grip. "Uh-uh-uh, pretty-boy, you're gonna stay right here with me," A.J. whispered, as his hand slid down onto Ryan's butt. Ryan began to pant and moan again, unable to fade into the comforting darkness while his wrists were in such pain.

In his mind, Ryan began to scream.

A.J.'s hand slipped into Ryan's left rear pocket, exploring every centimeter of space. It moved slowly over to his right rear pocket, and Ryan began to gag once more. Laughing, A.J. continued his violation. Ryan puked again. A.J.'s hand slid into Ryan's right rear pocket, and he said, "Ah, there we are," as he pulled out Ryan's wad of tips. "Next time, there'd better be more money in this pocket, pretty-boy." With that, he released Ryan's hands and shoved him roughly to the ground.

As Ryan began to curl up into himself, A.J. started kicking. After delivering a few serious blows to Ryan's stomach, A.J. pulled back his foot, and viciously connected with Ryan's chin. Ryan's whole head snapped back, and he was afraid his neck was breaking, tasting the blood as it gushed from his chin and spattered his face and the wall behind.

Still gasping, eyes closed, clenched into as tight a ball as possible, Ryan waited for the next blows. After a few seconds, he slowly opened his eyes, expecting to see A.J.'s glare. He was relieved to discover that A.J. had disappeared.

Groaning, Ryan closed his eyes again, trying to regain control. He couldn't stop feeling A.J.'s body on his, that foul breath on his face, those hands--Ryan shuddered, forcefully pushing the memories down, as deep into his brain as possible. He had to get up, get home, before somebody saw him. As he attempted to sit, he cried out in pain. He had been so appalled by A.J.'s other assault, that he had almost forgotten that he had endured quite a lot of physical damage as well. Taking in a deep breath and biting his lower lip, Ryan forced himself into a sitting position. "Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!" Ryan howled through his clenched mouth. Gasping, Ryan knew that he had to hurry. It was possible that someone from the Crab Shack had heard something by now. He knew that both he and A.J. had tried to be as quiet as possible, but both had yelled a few times. At least the restaurant's closing routine meant that the radio would be blaring, and the employees would be yelling their conversations back and forth. He just had to hope that they were still working. Ryan had no idea how long he had been locked in this confrontation with A.J., but he thought that it couldn't have been long enough for the next employee to clock out.

Taking a shaky breath, Ryan began to assess his injuries. His wrists and arms were sore from being restrained, but they weren't broken. He didn't think that his wrists were even sprained, but there might be a few torn ligaments. He wasn't sure. Because he felt a piercing ache with each inhalation, Ryan figured that he probably had at least two, maybe three broken ribs. More painful than this was the pain in his lower back, where A.J. had punched him with such force. This was a deep, throbbing ache that pulsed with each beat of his heart, and it sent sharp tendrils across his lower back. He wouldn't know for a few hours if he had any kidney damage, but he was pretty sure that he did. His face was bleeding in three areas. His forehead was shredded from the first blow against the bricks, and there was already a lump forming, but the bleeding had slowed to a trickle. Ryan didn't think that it was anything serious. The damage to the right side of his face was worse; this was bleeding a little more, but Ryan still figured that it would be okay. The most immediate problem--assuming that the kidney was just bruised, and not lacerated--was the wound on his chin, which was still flowing freely. Ryan was afraid that it would need stitches. Maybe not. Maybe it's just bleeding really badly. I can get by without stitches. He tore off a strip from his shirt, and pressed it to his chin, wincing at the pressure. His jaw and chin ached from the kick to the face, but he didn't think that they were broken. The pain in his neck was dying down, so he figured that this was not serious. He pulled the piece of cloth away from his chin, and groaned as he saw the amount of blood. He had already soaked through this piece of cloth. Tentatively, he reached up a shaking hand, and felt along the cut. Defeatedly, he realized that the bone was exposed. FUCK! Damn you, A.J.! Ryan snarled in his mind. Stupid fucker, sending me to the hospital. It's gonna arouse suspicion, and make it harder for A.J. to get what he wants. But then, A.J. would have to be smart and capable of forethought, for this to matter. A.J. was a man of action, not of thought.

Ryan felt A.J.'s hands on him again, and he fought the rising bile in his throat. Ryan knew that there could not possibly be anymore food in his stomach, and he knew the pain that more vomiting would make his ribs and back worse. But then, thinking of the pain was actually a good way to block out the worst part of tonight's encounter, so Ryan decided to let it come. This time, it was just dry heaves, and Ryan felt like he was choking, as his diaphragm tried to rid his body of his stomach and intestines. Tears streamed from Ryan's eyes, and he gasped in relief as the spasms eased. Pretty-boy, he heard in his head. Panicking, Ryan twisted, trying to find A.J. He hissed, as he hurt his ribs and back more. Realizing that A.J.'s voice was only in his head, Ryan welcomed the pain. He wanted it to take his mind off of A.J.'s violation, but it wasn't working. Okay, he thought. Here goes. He wrenched his body to the side, and he screamed in agony.

Well, it worked, he thought grimly. He was certainly focusing on the pain now.

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Rachel Carter 2428: I had originally intended to end this chapter after, "In his head, Ryan began to scream," but I thought of you. I hope that this ending is better! J

Author's note: Well, now I understand why it takes so long to post another chapter. I've only recently discovered fanfiction, and I lurked for about two weeks, groaning in frustration as I waited painfully for the next update. I've even checked at work and at a friend's house! Not acceptable! Now I understand. Even though I already had this story mostly written, I had to check my medical facts. My mom's an R.N., and I needed her advice on the wounds and their repercussions. I'm glad I checked with her, because some of them were wrong.

I've had this story in my head since about the third episode of the O.C. I've had to update the details a little since then, but I wrote it a few months ago. Sometimes, I just get a story in my head, and it won't go away until I've written it down. I had no idea that there would ever be a forum for others to read my stories. I've been so awed by the talent on this site, and by the incredible stories that I've read, that I finally got up the courage to post this. I was so scared. I'm incredibly shy and sensitive, so I wasn't sure if this was a good idea, but you guys are fantastic! I always read the reviews of the stories that I review, and I have been encouraged by the amount of positive feedback. It is hard to criticize constructively, and most of the reviews that I have seen are helpful. It's the few nasty ones that really scared me. I know that I cannot please everybody, but I just don't understand people being mean, unprovoked. I thank you all for being kind.

I hope that you enjoyed this, and I'll post more soon!

Please read and review! J