Disclaimer: Joss, WB, UPN et al. own Buffy. I do not.
Title: The Prices We Pay
Author: Paradigm Shifter
Rating: R.
Feedback: Please?
Thanks: Trevelyan, for his excellent work and help on this chapter. Teri, as always. And Nick Sicinski for help with Journey of Discovery.
Notes: Please, let this chapter be a bit longer than the others…
Recommended Listening: Placebo; 'Without You I'm Nothing'
Xander Harris was worried.
No, worried was not a word that was adequate to convey his emotional state. Xander Harris was frantic. Darla's note was crumpled in his fist, almost like a charm against encroaching disaster. The young male felt that, as long as he held on to the note, as long as he felt its sharp edges digging into his palm, Darla would return to him. He stood and paced, his steps tracing the path back to the bedroom of Darla's large home with an ease that alarmed him.
His thoughts were in chaos, but one battered through the mess and made presented itself front and centre. 'What'll I do if she doesn't come back?' He snorted, his expression becoming scornful.
'Don't kid yourself, you pathetic fool. Why in Hell would Darla bother to come back to you? She's smart, cultured, beautiful and immortal. You're just the loser son of two loser alcoholics, living in a town that leads to the fiery, blazing pits of Hades. You've got nothing to offer her. Except, if your genetics run true, the ability to drink everybody and anybody else under the table four times over and then ask for a Jack Daniels chaser.'
The churning, cold weight that had settled in his stomach was resolute in its desire not to be assuaged by his simple belief in the power of his piece of paper. No, it would not be moved by any force in Heaven or Hell, not by man, woman, nor by Vampire or Vampire Slayer. The only thing that could possibly give him relief was to see Darla, to touch her, to reassure himself that she was real, and that she had...feelings for him.
Alexander was not an arrogant man, not by any stretch of the imagination, and until he had heard the words from Darla's own shapely lips, he would not make the presumption that that she loved him.
'That way lies pain and country music at loud volumes. Abandon all hope, all ye who enter herein.'
He collapsed down onto the bed, the large bed that he had shared with Darla during their time together.
Heh. 'Time together'. They hadn't even done anything. Well, OK, they had done something, but Xander wasn't exactly sure if what they had done constituted anything that was worthy of the history books.
He froze. "Oh my God… I was practically begging her to Turn me! I was begging her to Turn me!" His eyes widened at this revelation. "I would have let her… and I would have enjoyed it! Oh…! Ergh! What was I thinking?"
He knew very well what he was thinking.
His mind also reminded him of what she had done:
She had refused.
That meant far more than either he or she knew.
"She can't be evil and soulless…" Xander breathed in deeply, his face buried in a pillow. It smelled faintly of her, and he breathed deeper, trying to ensure that every breath captured the essence of Darla. "She would have just done what she wanted, and gone. She… this note proves that she feels more than she should for me… I mean… a vampire, writing a 'sorry' note for her victim? Sooo not going to happen…"
He looked around. "Great, now I'm talking to myself!"
His gaze was drawn to the piece of paper again, and he unfolded it with gentle fingers. His eyes scanned the page, his lips reciting the words from memory in perfect synchronisation.
'How did we get to this point? I don't understand. I fell in love with her so quickly. Maybe even quicker than I first fell for Buffy.' A small smile quirked the side of his mouth at that. 'I fall for a vampire… am I a hypocrite or what?'
Then he realised the last time he had felt this churning, wrenching anxiety in his soul. The night that Buffy had been killed by the Master, he had felt this way. As soon as he had learned of the prophecy, the world had fallen from beneath his feet. And now, it was happening again. Even worse, if Xander was any judge, the depth of the feeling was worse now than then.
'I am a bad, bad person. I'm more worried that I might never see Darla again than I was when Buffy went off to die.'
Now, in addition to his anxiety, he had guilt to deal with.
'I think it's about time to break out the Country records, Xander. You just hit rock bottom.' Sighing, Xander walked out of Darla's home, and wandered down the street aimlessly.
Giles was sitting reading a gift from one of the Watchers still sympathetic to his – and therefore Buffy's plight. It wasn't that it was particular interesting, or even that it was relevant to what was happening at the moment… which, apart from Xander's odd behaviour, was very little.
"Giles?" Angel's voice cut into his little world, and shattered his concentration. "Giles, are you here?"
Standing, and putting the book on his desk, Giles replied, "Yes, Angel, I'm in here."
Angel entered, his normally worried face looking even more so. "I had a meeting with Darla."
Giles looked up. That tone didn't bode well. "And? Is something wrong?"
Angel shook his head. "She's really confused, Giles. I mean really confused. She was being courteous. To Buffy."
"Again I ask, 'and?'" Giles walked out from behind his desk, and out into the main body of the library, Angel following. "Is it so strange that someone here has some manners?"
"Well, no, but…" Angel stopped. "That isn't important right now. What is important, is Darla. She's skipped town for a while. She's conflicted, and she's experiencing things that I don't think she wants to."
"Like what?" Giles asked, curious. What could a vampire not normally experience, and what would frighten a Master – or in this case, probably Mistress would be more appropriate as a title – vampire?
"She's in love." Angel deadpanned.
Giles' eyes widened in shock, and a strangled laugh burst out before he could tame it. "Are you serious?" He demanded, "A vampire? In love? A soulless vampire in love? That is the most foolish thing I have ever heard!"
"She admitted it."
"Then Darla is merely playing you. You are, after all, her Failed Childe… she wants to play with your mind!"
"I don't believe she was simply trying to 'play' with me. If she wanted to do that, she would be running her terror rounds on Buffy, Willow, Xander and their families. No. She's focussed on Xander… and despite her admitting that they have slept in the same bed…"
"Xander has slept with a vampire?" Giles croaked out.
"No." Angel shook his head. "He hasn't bedded her. I would have smelt it. They slept in the same bed; that I can tell. And while sleeping with Darla is always a clothing optional experience, they have not had sex…"
Giles cut in. "How do you know?"
"I know, alright?" Angels was clearly getting agitated now. "I would know. Trust me. Darla is my Sire. I wouldn't miss a change like that."
Giles nodded, accepting Angel's words.
"Darla is after something other than revenge. Xander… struck a chord in her, I think. She fled, and she's back. She wouldn't be back for good reason. She also says she saved him a few days ago. Is that the action of a soulless vampire?"
"No, it isn't," Giles agreed. "If she is telling the truth."
"The only way we'll find that out is by asking Xander…" Angel said quietly.
Giles nodded.
But would Xander answer their questions?
Title: The Prices We Pay
Author: Paradigm Shifter
Rating: R.
Feedback: Please?
Thanks: Trevelyan, for his excellent work and help on this chapter. Teri, as always. And Nick Sicinski for help with Journey of Discovery.
Notes: Please, let this chapter be a bit longer than the others…
Recommended Listening: Placebo; 'Without You I'm Nothing'
Xander Harris was worried.
No, worried was not a word that was adequate to convey his emotional state. Xander Harris was frantic. Darla's note was crumpled in his fist, almost like a charm against encroaching disaster. The young male felt that, as long as he held on to the note, as long as he felt its sharp edges digging into his palm, Darla would return to him. He stood and paced, his steps tracing the path back to the bedroom of Darla's large home with an ease that alarmed him.
His thoughts were in chaos, but one battered through the mess and made presented itself front and centre. 'What'll I do if she doesn't come back?' He snorted, his expression becoming scornful.
'Don't kid yourself, you pathetic fool. Why in Hell would Darla bother to come back to you? She's smart, cultured, beautiful and immortal. You're just the loser son of two loser alcoholics, living in a town that leads to the fiery, blazing pits of Hades. You've got nothing to offer her. Except, if your genetics run true, the ability to drink everybody and anybody else under the table four times over and then ask for a Jack Daniels chaser.'
The churning, cold weight that had settled in his stomach was resolute in its desire not to be assuaged by his simple belief in the power of his piece of paper. No, it would not be moved by any force in Heaven or Hell, not by man, woman, nor by Vampire or Vampire Slayer. The only thing that could possibly give him relief was to see Darla, to touch her, to reassure himself that she was real, and that she had...feelings for him.
Alexander was not an arrogant man, not by any stretch of the imagination, and until he had heard the words from Darla's own shapely lips, he would not make the presumption that that she loved him.
'That way lies pain and country music at loud volumes. Abandon all hope, all ye who enter herein.'
He collapsed down onto the bed, the large bed that he had shared with Darla during their time together.
Heh. 'Time together'. They hadn't even done anything. Well, OK, they had done something, but Xander wasn't exactly sure if what they had done constituted anything that was worthy of the history books.
He froze. "Oh my God… I was practically begging her to Turn me! I was begging her to Turn me!" His eyes widened at this revelation. "I would have let her… and I would have enjoyed it! Oh…! Ergh! What was I thinking?"
He knew very well what he was thinking.
His mind also reminded him of what she had done:
She had refused.
That meant far more than either he or she knew.
"She can't be evil and soulless…" Xander breathed in deeply, his face buried in a pillow. It smelled faintly of her, and he breathed deeper, trying to ensure that every breath captured the essence of Darla. "She would have just done what she wanted, and gone. She… this note proves that she feels more than she should for me… I mean… a vampire, writing a 'sorry' note for her victim? Sooo not going to happen…"
He looked around. "Great, now I'm talking to myself!"
His gaze was drawn to the piece of paper again, and he unfolded it with gentle fingers. His eyes scanned the page, his lips reciting the words from memory in perfect synchronisation.
'How did we get to this point? I don't understand. I fell in love with her so quickly. Maybe even quicker than I first fell for Buffy.' A small smile quirked the side of his mouth at that. 'I fall for a vampire… am I a hypocrite or what?'
Then he realised the last time he had felt this churning, wrenching anxiety in his soul. The night that Buffy had been killed by the Master, he had felt this way. As soon as he had learned of the prophecy, the world had fallen from beneath his feet. And now, it was happening again. Even worse, if Xander was any judge, the depth of the feeling was worse now than then.
'I am a bad, bad person. I'm more worried that I might never see Darla again than I was when Buffy went off to die.'
Now, in addition to his anxiety, he had guilt to deal with.
'I think it's about time to break out the Country records, Xander. You just hit rock bottom.' Sighing, Xander walked out of Darla's home, and wandered down the street aimlessly.
Giles was sitting reading a gift from one of the Watchers still sympathetic to his – and therefore Buffy's plight. It wasn't that it was particular interesting, or even that it was relevant to what was happening at the moment… which, apart from Xander's odd behaviour, was very little.
"Giles?" Angel's voice cut into his little world, and shattered his concentration. "Giles, are you here?"
Standing, and putting the book on his desk, Giles replied, "Yes, Angel, I'm in here."
Angel entered, his normally worried face looking even more so. "I had a meeting with Darla."
Giles looked up. That tone didn't bode well. "And? Is something wrong?"
Angel shook his head. "She's really confused, Giles. I mean really confused. She was being courteous. To Buffy."
"Again I ask, 'and?'" Giles walked out from behind his desk, and out into the main body of the library, Angel following. "Is it so strange that someone here has some manners?"
"Well, no, but…" Angel stopped. "That isn't important right now. What is important, is Darla. She's skipped town for a while. She's conflicted, and she's experiencing things that I don't think she wants to."
"Like what?" Giles asked, curious. What could a vampire not normally experience, and what would frighten a Master – or in this case, probably Mistress would be more appropriate as a title – vampire?
"She's in love." Angel deadpanned.
Giles' eyes widened in shock, and a strangled laugh burst out before he could tame it. "Are you serious?" He demanded, "A vampire? In love? A soulless vampire in love? That is the most foolish thing I have ever heard!"
"She admitted it."
"Then Darla is merely playing you. You are, after all, her Failed Childe… she wants to play with your mind!"
"I don't believe she was simply trying to 'play' with me. If she wanted to do that, she would be running her terror rounds on Buffy, Willow, Xander and their families. No. She's focussed on Xander… and despite her admitting that they have slept in the same bed…"
"Xander has slept with a vampire?" Giles croaked out.
"No." Angel shook his head. "He hasn't bedded her. I would have smelt it. They slept in the same bed; that I can tell. And while sleeping with Darla is always a clothing optional experience, they have not had sex…"
Giles cut in. "How do you know?"
"I know, alright?" Angels was clearly getting agitated now. "I would know. Trust me. Darla is my Sire. I wouldn't miss a change like that."
Giles nodded, accepting Angel's words.
"Darla is after something other than revenge. Xander… struck a chord in her, I think. She fled, and she's back. She wouldn't be back for good reason. She also says she saved him a few days ago. Is that the action of a soulless vampire?"
"No, it isn't," Giles agreed. "If she is telling the truth."
"The only way we'll find that out is by asking Xander…" Angel said quietly.
Giles nodded.
But would Xander answer their questions?