CHAPTER TWO
Friday, April 3
Yesterday was the dinner party, and it was a raging success! I enjoyed every minute of it. It is so agreeable to meet new people, the majority of whom are amiable and amusing and eager to get to know you!
These are the people who came – (I am doing this in an organised way so as to organise my thoughts) –
Lord Frederick Gosford: I don't think I described him before so I will do so now. He is very tall, and dark, and handsome in a rather savage, exciting sort of way. He is a heroic rogue; his image is perfectly conducive in my mind with that of a gentleman highwayman.
Miss Alice Brandon: A very sweet girl whom I hope will be my friend. She is already a great friend of Georgiana's, through their music, and it is very encouraging to see that Georgiana actually does have friends. She has the fairest blonde hair ever seen and demure little fawn-like eyes – but when she grins, she is as cheeky a creature as you ever saw!
Mr and Mrs Felix Brandon: Alice's parents, obviously. Very congenial, unselfish people. You warm to them as soon as you see them. They are rather plump.
Sir Thomas Humphries: A man who is frighteningly young looking. Elizabeth asked me how old I thought him to be, I said thirty, possibly, but no, he is five-and-forty! He is dreadfully flirtatious and said to be looking for a wife. He amused me dreadfully and was always cracking funny little jokes. He looks like an eagle.
Lady Posy Canon: I am not quite sure what to make of this one. She is a couple of years older than me and is the most bewitching woman I have ever met. I was mesmerised by everything she said, but she has such a dangerous sparkle in her eye and talks about such strange things and seems very independent and wicked. Not that being independent is necessarily a bad thing, but I just wonder – is she quite proper? I have an idea Lizzy doesn't like her very much at all. She seems rather … oh, I don't know. It is unfair to judge, anyways, on such a short acquaintance.
I know Lizzy and Mr Darcy don't really approve of her, but tolerate her presence as one of the so-called élite of Derbyshire. They are very good and discerning people, and sometimes I think their judgement of others is worth taking notice of. Especially Mr Darcy's. Lizzy was the one blinded by prejudice a year or so ago, after all!
Mrs Juliana Mansfield: Lady Posy's aunt and guardian. Very drowsy and boring. Doesn't seem to care a fig what is going on, as long as her chair is comfortable.
Miss Louisa Tait: Lady Posy's cousin who is staying with her and Mrs Mansfield for a while. She is very much like Lizzy, but less mature, and I warmed to her immediately. She shot me friendly smiles all evening, and when I finally managed to talk to her we had such a good time. I am quite determined I will be friends with her; I'm sure she is a very good influence for a once-was-peacock.
Mr Charles Winter: Does Mr Bingley have a long-lost twin? That is all I can say of Mr Winter. He even looks like him, and has the same Christian name. It's actually frightening, perceiving the similarities in manner, character and appearance. He was very agreeable all evening and brought me about five glasses of punch – however, he did that to everyone, so one cannot hold it out as a potential compliment.
Mr Julian Montgomery: A blonde, cherubic looking boy who is actually a man but doesn't look much older than I. In a way, languid and vapid looking, but, I think, intelligent. I liked him. He is very lazy, like me.
Mr Edward Beaupays: A veritable fashion plate. I shouldn't expect he'd stay in the country for long. Still youngish for a Tulip of Fashion, about five-and-twenty, but well on the way to being the stereotypical lead dandy. Everything he says and does is of the latest fashion or will probably be the origin of one. However, he is friendly and agreeable, at least he was to me, and very easy to talk to. I shouldn't be sorry to see more of him.
And last of all, Mr Henry Wakefield: This is the man I shall find it most difficult to describe. He is the clergyman of the local church. He is nothing like Mr Collins – something that must be said right from the beginning. I think he is about six-and-twenty. He is one of the most handsome men I have ever seen, with the most velvety, clear brown eyes my insides have ever squirmed at the sight of. He is very serious but very laidback at the same time; he is very friendly and open but he equally holds himself apart; I find it very hard to understand him. Of course I liked him, everyone seems to, but he is so unworldly, in a way, so calm and unruffled and kind and … sincere. I do not know what to make of him.
The evening itself was absolutely delicious. Dinner was perfect. My dinner partner was Sir Thomas, and we were sitting opposite Lord Gosford and Georgiana (who looked terrified and spoke not a word the entire meal – I must say Lizzy showed a great lack of judgement in placing poor Georgiana by such a potentially terrifying man). After dinner we retired to the drawing room, and Georgiana escaped to the pianoforte and we danced! First of all I danced with Lord Gosford (he is shockingly straightforward), and then with Mr Beaupays (who does everything with consummate elegance and poise, including dancing), and then with Mr Winter (who one could describe more accurately as rollicking joyfully than dancing), and then with Sir Thomas (he is really very handsome for a man his age), and then with Mr Montgomery (who I must say is a very poor dancer – he makes no effort). And then with Mr Wakefield.
He was a sphinx in countenance, but for his eyes. They are wonderfully expressive and warm. And he was very kind, and conversed very sensibly and intelligently and warmly. "Miss Bennet," said he, "do you enjoy Derbyshire so far?" Such a simple question, but the way he spoke it seemed to give it new depth.
"Oh yes," I replied, "I am not sure how to explain it, but I feel as if I am coming home rather than visiting."
He smiled in that way – he understood completely. There is no way I can describe it, but he seems to be very special, despite his choice of career. I can accept that I may be biased, however – it's only that the very thought of Mr Collins fills me with dread!
And then we stopped dancing after a while, and he withdrew and we talked no more that evening. I could feel eyes watching me all the rest of the time, and I wonder now – am I to be the object of their affections? The thought scares me a little. They really were watching me. And these are good men, diary; in Meryton the only men who would fall for me in the slightest were the men who were too roguish to fall for Jane or Lizzy or someone good like that. Am I suddenly to be the Belle, the Competition Prize? (Of Lambton only, you know, I mustn't make myself sound too important.) It makes me a little uncomfortable. Mr Wakefield wasn't watching me. I was grateful for that. Those eyes boring into me would have been too much to bear. But diary – this is going to sound awfully conceited, but I don't mean it to be; I just felt it – I could tell he was thinking about me. I could sense it.
Sunday, April 5I went to church today with the Darcys, and sat in their family pew with them. All the men from the dinner party smiled at me. I smiled back warily because I still have not decided whether I am attracted to them or not. Mr Wakefield spoke on the text from the epistle to the Ephesians, chapter 2 verses 8 and 9: 'For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God; Not of works, lest any man should boast'. I was riveted to everything he said. I cannot understand it. Every single verb or conjunction or preposition he said just came together and seemed to make sense when he said it, and I started to understand and I started to shiver – not that I have ever been exactly virtuous, but I had always assumed that if I just behaved most of the time and grew up to be a good old woman, then everything would be fine and I would go to heaven and that's that. Mr Wakefield's text shook me up.
Afterwards all the men and my sweet new girlfriends came and spoke to me. Sir Thomas hurried up to me almost at once, and I blushed, because everyone in the church began looking at me and whispering. Of course I know that Sir Thomas is on the catch for a wife – it's most obvious to everyone – but I am much too young for him. Whatever happens between us will never be more than a friendly little flirtation. He grabbed my arm and walked me out of church, and all the other men scowled at him. I giggled because it was really rather funny, and he gave me this wicked grin. "How did you like the service, Miss Bennet?"
"I thought it was very good," I replied seriously. "Mr Wakefield is a very good speaker. I was transfixed by everything he said."
"I see," said Sir Thomas, frowning slightly. "Tell me, do you like Derbyshire?" I could tell he was trying to change the subject, and I don't know why, but I was spared from answering him, because at that point someone more important than myself came up to talk to him, and I ran off to see Louisa Tait and Alice Brandon with Georgiana. Lady Posy doesn't come to church. Louisa, Alice and I have already started calling each other by our Christian names. They are very very very sweet girls and I am so glad I met them. It would have been lonesome without anyone my age save Georgiana, who needs quite a bit of encouragement to even consider opening her mouth, and also, those girls are very good for Georgiana. She actually made SIX voluntary statements. I was amazed. And then Mr Winter skipped up. I get the feeling he has a tendre for Alice, which is agreeable, because I had seriously debated falling in love with him, among the other four possible suitors at the dinner party. It is good that now there is less choice and less potential for indecision. Besides, Mama was quite determined that I should find a husband here, and I cannot deny that up to the present time, I am quite impressed with the selection of men. But I do see that Mr Winter and Alice would make an admirable match and that I, with Mr Winter, would never really be quite right. I cannot see poor Georgiana with any of the men here; she is quite terrified of Lord Gosford; she is much too young for Sir Thomas, not only in age but in character also, and besides, he is an eagle and she is a bunny rabbit; Mr Montgomery would never appreciate her, he is much too insipid; and Mr Beaupays needs a stunning society woman. Which Georgiana is not – stunning, yes, but the very thought of giving balls or dinner parties gives her nightmares. And Louisa … well, I suppose I can see her with Lord Gosford, but you know, I'm not sure I want to suppose that yet. I'm not sure if I want him for myself or not yet.
Anyhow, Mr Winter went walking off with Alice, and Louisa, Georgiana and I discussed the weather for about two seconds before up came Lord Gosford! I watched Louisa and the gentleman himself carefully and I cannot discern any peculiar amount of regard. So all is well in that quarter and I am free to be friends with Louisa again! Lord Gosford started talking to me alone for a time, while Louisa and Georgiana chatted. "Miss Bennet, I hope you are none the worse for wear after the dinner party?"
I laughed. "What a silly question! Of course I am not! Do I look that terrible?"
"Oh no," he said, smiling, "it was merely a polite, gallant thing to ask, you see. You should have replied, 'I am quite well, thank you sir, although a trifle tired,' or 'Thank Providence, I am free from any complaint!' Those would have been acceptable modes of reply."
"Except I replied by insulting you," I laughed.
"Yes," said he, "but I have a thick skin. Insult me all you want; I enjoy it."
And then Mr Beaupays came up and said to me, "I am sorry to interrupt, Miss Bennet, Lord Gosford, but I have been quite impatient to tell you ever since I noticed, Miss Bennet – your bonnet is quite ravishing."
"Why, thank you, sir," I said, curtseying, and smiling secretly.
Lord Gosford scowled at him. "Go find your own quarry, Beaupays," he said in jest. "I was here first."
Mr Beaupays, brows raised, smiled disdainfully back at him. "Don't be a bore, Frederick."
Lord Gosford grinned, and turned to me again. "Miss Bennet, before Edward jumps in again, will you do me the honour of allowing me to drive you back to Pemberley?"
"Oh," said I, surprised, "errr.. I shall go and ask Elizabeth."
He bowed, and I went off to find my sister. "Lizzy," I whispered to her, after successfully extracting her from a group of women, "Lord Gosford wants me to drive home with him. May I go with him?"
"It is entirely improper to allow him to drive you alone to Pemberley from church, Kitty," said Lizzy calmly. "People will talk about it till Christmas and beyond if such a thing occurs."
"Thank you," I whispered back, and hurried back to Lord Gosford. "Lizzy says it is entirely improper.
He smiled and said, "Well, it was always worth a try, was it not, Edward?"
Mr Beaupays rolled his eyes, supremely unconcerned, and wished me a good day. I smiled back warmly, because as you know, I don't want to restrict falling in love to only Lord Gosford as yet.
I realised soon that I didn't even have to get into Lord Gosford's phaeton to be gossiped about until Christmas. As Lord Gosford stayed by my side and we continued talking, all the middle-aged women stared and then started whispering furiously that Miss Bennet, that little girl who was related to Mrs Darcy, talking to Lord Gosford like that when she had only just arrived in Derbyshire! I tried not to blush. He, noting my red cheeks, said, "Yes, the women do tend to gossip about anything and everything in a district like this." I blushed still more, rather uncharacteristically, I suppose, but I giggled quietly also.