Suze's POV:
I blame myself. I really do. Although, I should have known he would try something...

Paul picked me up for my shifting lesson at the usual time. Jesse had begged me not to go, and I should have listened...I really should have.

We get to Paul's house, and he decides there's no shifting lesson tonight. Unless you count his tongue shifting to my mouth.

So I kicked him. Really hard in the shin. His response? He backhanded me and then grabbed my wrists so I couldn't hit him back.

Stupid bastard! I kicked him again, and tried to run out of the room, but Paul got to me and slammed me against the wall. "Suze...you should know better than to run." His left leg dug into my right one, and I knew instinctively I'd have a bruise the next day.

"Back off or I swear, I'll scream."

"Go ahead." Paul said smugly, leaning in so he was about an inch away. "There's no one but me around."

I swallowed. That's not good. "You know what, Paul? I'm tired. And leaving. So get off of me!"

"Suze, you'll leave when I'm ready for you to leave." Paul said, smirking. There was this look in his eyes, a hungry look, but we weren't talking food. I swallowed. "And I'm not ready for you to leave." he whispered, putting his head so close to mine that our noses touched.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit....why didn't I listen to Jesse? WHY???

"Suze, I never taught you mind control, did I?" Paul said. He stepped away from me, and I thought about running, but I knew I couldn't. My feet were frozen to the ground.

"See, with mind control," Paul said, walking to his bed and sitting down, "I control every action you make. Every little one. I can make you do anything I wish."

I don't want to know what he happens to wish right now! I had a funny feeling I already knew what he wished...Well, he was NOT going to get it! No siree! I wouldn't let him!

"Suze, come here." Paul said.

"I think no- HEY!" I exclaimed, as my feet moved forward, as if they had a mind of their own. I shuddered when I stopped walking. I stopped walking because I'd hit the edge of Paul's bed.

And then his mind control trick was used when my hands pushed him back on the bed.

And again when I climbed on top of him. They weren't used when he rolled me over, and kissed me.

Frenchly, if you get my drift.

So yeah. I was pissed. I was stuck underneath this guy, being kissed when I didn't want to be, or at least, not by him, with no way to stop it. I tried to break the kiss, but he only deepened it. Then my stupid hands, via mind control, were going up and down his sides, stopping at his hips.

Paul moaned against my lips and I tried not to scream. Screaming so wouldn't help this situation. It would probably just excite Paul.

That is the last thing I wanna do.

Somehow I took control of my legs- which had begun to move apart, if you get what I'm saying- and kicked Paul in a delicate area he was trying to use on me. His pupils zoomed in and he fell over onto his side, practically in tears. This distracted him, and his mind control on me was lost. I scrambled up as fast as I could and took off running outside.

As I was running, I felt wetness on my cheeks. I figured it was ocean spray, as Paul lived so close to the ocean. Ha, couldn't even fool myself. I ran all the way home, not pausing to take a breath, not stopping when I saw familiar cars that could safely take me home, not stopping for anyone or anything. I would have to answer to Adam and CeeCee the next day, since it was Adam's car I first saw, and then CeeCee's mom, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get home. I just wanted to feel the safety of my room!

Tearing down the sidewalk, I didn't glance at the roof, like I usually do, to see if Jesse was there. I couldn't have dealt with it if he were here, I really couldn't have. No one was home, thank God, and I tore up the steps to my room.

I shut the door, tears now freely roaming down my face. Why was this time making me cry so much? The other time hadn't affected me this bad- of course, the other time I'd had control of my body! I scanned the room, and couldn't sense Jesse. "Thank God he's not here. I cannot look at him right now." My voice, hardly above a whisper, seemed loud in the empty house. I pulled on pajamas, intending to sleep until I felt better, and instead cried for hours.

I couldn't take this anymore! Paul couldn't treat me like this! It was killing me, how I kept his advances from Jesse- because, while tonights actions were the most serious, they were nothing new. I was tired...tired of fighting, tired of running, tired of dealing with everything.

It was like my body was locked, only this time, it was because I was controlling. I went to my bathroom, leaving the door open, and filled the tub. I turned the water off, stripped down, and sank into it sighing. "Jesse...If you can hear me, I'm sorry...I'm sorry I had to do this..."

I loved Jesse more than anything, and all I wanted was to be with him. I didn't want to deal with Paul, or other ghosts making my life hell, or anything. I wanted to be with Jesse. Plain and simple.

Once I was completely submerged, I held myself under the water. I fought to keep the sane half of my mind from taking over, and kept myself under. I began to lose consciousness, and just let go...

Only to be brought back to life by Jesse...

I blinked up at him, feeling scared and sad and grateful. Jesse picked me up and took me to my bed after I'd put on clothes and gotten dried off. Then he spoke.

"Susannah...why did you try to leave? Why did you attempt to take your life?" His eyes held onto me, until I tore my gaze from him to my bedspread.

What he said next was really no surprise. "Susannah, did...Did something happen at the shifting lesson tonight? Did...Did Slater try something? Hurt you in anyway whatsoever?" I couldn't speak. I started crying again, just hearing Jesse's voice.

He held me and whispered soothing Spanish, trying to make me stop crying. "Querida, I love you. Please don't leave me..."

I swallowed and spoke. "I won't Jesse. Never again will I try to leave...I love you so much...I don't know what I was thinking."

When I was calmer, Jesse tried to get me to tell him what happened. I didn't say anything except, "Paul...Paul pushed my limits. I took care of it."

Jesse sighed and held me...I fell asleep after awhile...