Author Note: Still would like a Beta if anyone would like to volunteer, e-mail me.

Chapter 2: Who's the most evil of us all?

I stomp back to my flat. What a bitch! I can't even believe how careless she's being. I would have thought after Willow nearly destroyed the world she would have gotten over this death wish. Apparently she's still keeping her feelings behind closed doors, and probably only saved the world to save her friends.

I sit back at my desk and pull my journal out again. Bloody poof I've become. Can't have any type of drama come up without writing in this stupid thing.

Why must she play games with me? Oh that's right, because that's all we've ever done. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of forcing her to show her feelings, forcing her to see what's right in front of her face... forcing her... well let's not go there shall we? Ok maybe I need to go there. I tried to rape her. Only, even to this day, with my soul in tact, I don't believe it was rape. Of course her and the whelp think so. I mean, how many bloody times I have I forced her to do things? How many times has she told me no, but loved every second of it? She feels she has to keep pretenses up. Why? I have no bloody idea. I guess so if anyone ever found out she can say I forced her to do it. It's like bloody fore play for us, and always has been.

"Can't rape the willing, yeah?" I say to myself.

But regardless of my intentions, she believes I was trying to rape her. And that makes all the difference. And I feel absolutely horrible. How can you ever apologize for something like that? How can you ever forgive something like that? And I have to admit, I was so blinded by hurt and lust, that I probably over looked the tone in her voice when she told me no. God I'm so stupid! I should have known better! Maybe I did try to rape her.

God this is getting me no where. Did I or didn't I? And it's not like I can talk to her about it! But I need to talk to someone. Anya maybe? Well, I guess the whelp wouldn't appreciate that much. Red is still in England. But of course, the last time I tried talking to her about relationships was when I tried to kill her, so maybe that's not the best choice either.

"What did you do to her?" a voice comes from my doorway.

"You're worse than your sister Niblet, do I need to get you a bell too?" I turn to stare her down.

"Why haven't you come to see me." She shoots back.

Great, just what I need. I look up at the would be heavens, and ask myself 'I know I said I needed to talk to someone, but her sister? You've got to be bloody joking...'

"Isn't it past your bedtime or something?" I grumble.

"God, why does everyone treat me like I'm some little kid... I've been around longer than you, ya know... what gives you the right to treat me like that" she argues.

"Well I'm the big bad didn't ya know? S'ma job to infuriate the women of Sunnyhell."

"Very cute Spike, but I'm not a little girl anymore"

"You're not? Cause last time I checked you were still going through puberty."

"Avoidy much?"

"Not avoiding anything Bit, if I remember correctly, it's you that sought me out, and I've yet to figure out why"

"Well you are right about one thing.. you do a pretty good job of infuriating the women, and some men I might add, of Sunnydale."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Mind getting to the point Dawn?" God I hate how the Summer's woman can get under my skin.

"Buffy, why else would I be here?"

"Because I'm so irresistible?"

"Nice try."

"What the hell do you want from me Bit?" I say exasperated.

"What did you do to her tonight?"

"Saved her life that's what! Did you know she was daydreaming in the cemetery and almost got herself killed?"

"Really... cause the way it looked to me, is that you did something to piss her off"

"I know the lot of you like to blame me for all the princess' problems, but I assure you all I did was kill a vamp, then head home"

"Well maybe that's the problem?"

I look at her in disbelief. "What was I supposed to do, not save her?"

The bit smiled softly at me and headed for the door. "Has it ever occurred to you that Buffy has spent her life saving people, and maybe, just maybe this once, she's the one that needs to be saved?"

"But I did save her." Clearly I don't understand where she's going with this.

"Death is only the begining..." she whispers and walks out the door. I can hear her laughing.

"Bloody women!" I yell throwing my pack of smoke at the door. What the hell do these women know that I don't?

"So did you talk to them" a figure says stepping out of the shadows.

"Geez, what are you my stalker now?" I shiver at the thought. I mean, eww.

"Well sweetheart, I need to know these things. I mean, we gotta make sure all our bases are covered before the big evil arrives."

"Yeah I talked to him, he was all moody"

"Well, having a soul does that to ya"

"Yeah I guess... maybe I should lock them in a room together.. maybe that would help" I say hopefully.

"Nah, been there done that, they just fucked each other rotten, didn't get them anywhere" he laughed

"Ewww! This is my sister we're talking about here! So don't need to know their kinky love history."

He stopped laughing. "This is important. You as the key should know that. Now that I've unlocked your abilities, you know what's going to happen."

"Shouldn't we let Buffy handle this? I mean, she's saved the world 6 times now... she's the expert."

"But you said so yourself to Spike, she's the one that needs to be saved this time."

"But I feel bad for going behind her back"

"Trust me, she'll thank you later. Besides, don't look at it as going behind her back, look at it as getting even all the times she never let you in on the Scooby stuff" he smirked.

"You know what Whistler? I think we're gonna be good friends" I smile and link my arm with his.

"So, how did your visit with Spike go?" my sister asks as soon as I walk through the door.

"Wouldn't you like to know" I smile

"I can't believe I allowed you to go over there" she says shaking her head.

"Well, why not? It's not like he's evil or anything"

"How do you know Dawn, you know what he did!"

"No, I know what he tried to do. Besides, from what I've seen and heard, that sounds like fore play for you guys" I say nonchalantly.

"What do you mean from what you've seen and heard?" She demanded

"Oh you know, you pick up things from the magic box.. like Xander could ever keep his mouth shut."

"Yeah, you're probably right," she says absently "I think I'm gonna head to bed now"

"Yeah you should get your rest, good night!" Then after I hear the door slam to her bedroom I add "You're gonna need it"

I stare at my mirror thoughtfully. Is it just me or does Dawn seem a little smarter these days? Not to mention a little more sneaky. It's almost like she knows something I don't. Oh well, I'll ask her more about it tomorrow.

I throw myself on my bed and snuggle up to Mr Gordo. "Ahh, the only man in my life that hasn't left me or done something incredibly stupid... of course, that could be because you can't talk, or have a brain for that matter. Wish Spike were like you!"

Ok maybe not so much. Cause then he'd just lay there and stare at me. How fun would that be? I stare at the ceiling a little while longer before finally falling into sleep.

"Tara, what are you doing here?" I ask in disbelief?

"You tell me slayer"

"Ah, so not Tara then"

"Was I the last time we had this talk?"

"The first slayer... great. So, what is it this time? We outta cheese? Or maybe another song demon, that was actually kinda cool now that I think about it."

"From beneath you it devours"

"It whatta? How can cheese devour your bottom? Wait... I seriously don't want you to answer that"

"It needs your champion. You must save him, but first, you must help him save himself."

"Since when does Spike listen to what I say? And what is 'it' anyways?"

"The first"

"The first what? The first cheese? I'd say it wasn't American.. cause ya know, America not being that old in respect of the world"

"Go to him, help him"

"And say what? Gee Spike, I know you didn't mean it in a bad way, can we do it again?"

"Go... You know what you must do"

"Yeah, yeah... can you tell the PTB this really isn't funny?

I wake up and run a shaky hand through my hair. I should have known something was coming. It's not like I couldn't feel it coming earlier, just chose to ignore it for awhile. And I know what I have to do, I'm just too scared to do it.