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FULL MOON
Tsuzuki
No matter what I would do.
No matter what he could do.
It still haunts him.
Everyone faces traumas in different ways. Even if one is very strong, no one can stay unhurt, because some scars won't ever fade away.
I could do anything to heal him, but it doesn't mean that there is a cure.
We just play a little game of pretending. He pretends he's fine and I pretend that I believe it. But deep inside of him, he might see that I know.
Because he isn't very strong or weak. He just doesn't rely on others and tries to fight alone, which is too much.
I guess he isn't fully aware that he is to face more than one nightmare called Muraki. There still persists the case of parents and it hurts as much.
I should not show him how hard is for me watching his struggling. He would become even more reserved. This is really some kind of emotional hide- and-seek. We always hide our pain and seek it in each other as well. It will take us some time to learn that love should be a support, not a burden. Easy to say, more difficult to do. This game of ours... is kind of sad.
How can we hope for heaven when there's always image of hell chasing after us?
I cherish rare moments of his happiness. He has different ways of showing it than I, but I can tell when he's happy. A little brightness in his eyes, small curve of his lips; almost a faint smile. That makes me content myself. At those moments I'm sure that we've got a chance. A chance which we're fulfilling well.
I know it's not kind but I wish Muraki would disappear. So he wouldn't feel even a brief touch of his hands or see an insolent and nasty grin. I don't know what that bastard keeps in his mind for Hisoka to see but it surely isn't anything pleasant.
Maybe it would help a little; his death...
But the past won't change.
Life can turn into another path but those already curved cannot change their shape.
I'm helpless watching his falls. Even if it gets better, there always comes another fall. Over and over, until the end.
I want to hope for the better but what if only worse waits for us?
I just know one thing for sure. If Hisoka would ever, ever die, I'm going to die with him.
Because there is no life without Hisoka, even if this life isn't the easiest.
Full moon... strange, when I had became to love it ?
The ending sometimes can't be happy, but the story still can.
END
While I was writing this fic, I came to think that maybe Yami no Matsuei won't have a happy ending. There is a lot of hope but it still is only hope. And what if...
Just since when I'm so pessimistic?!
This fic is dedicated to Muraki-chan, Hiro-chan (I miss you!) and also to my wonderful reviewers Eliza Hime and SapphireDragon. Hope you've liked it
FULL MOON
Tsuzuki
No matter what I would do.
No matter what he could do.
It still haunts him.
Everyone faces traumas in different ways. Even if one is very strong, no one can stay unhurt, because some scars won't ever fade away.
I could do anything to heal him, but it doesn't mean that there is a cure.
We just play a little game of pretending. He pretends he's fine and I pretend that I believe it. But deep inside of him, he might see that I know.
Because he isn't very strong or weak. He just doesn't rely on others and tries to fight alone, which is too much.
I guess he isn't fully aware that he is to face more than one nightmare called Muraki. There still persists the case of parents and it hurts as much.
I should not show him how hard is for me watching his struggling. He would become even more reserved. This is really some kind of emotional hide- and-seek. We always hide our pain and seek it in each other as well. It will take us some time to learn that love should be a support, not a burden. Easy to say, more difficult to do. This game of ours... is kind of sad.
How can we hope for heaven when there's always image of hell chasing after us?
I cherish rare moments of his happiness. He has different ways of showing it than I, but I can tell when he's happy. A little brightness in his eyes, small curve of his lips; almost a faint smile. That makes me content myself. At those moments I'm sure that we've got a chance. A chance which we're fulfilling well.
I know it's not kind but I wish Muraki would disappear. So he wouldn't feel even a brief touch of his hands or see an insolent and nasty grin. I don't know what that bastard keeps in his mind for Hisoka to see but it surely isn't anything pleasant.
Maybe it would help a little; his death...
But the past won't change.
Life can turn into another path but those already curved cannot change their shape.
I'm helpless watching his falls. Even if it gets better, there always comes another fall. Over and over, until the end.
I want to hope for the better but what if only worse waits for us?
I just know one thing for sure. If Hisoka would ever, ever die, I'm going to die with him.
Because there is no life without Hisoka, even if this life isn't the easiest.
Full moon... strange, when I had became to love it ?
The ending sometimes can't be happy, but the story still can.
END
While I was writing this fic, I came to think that maybe Yami no Matsuei won't have a happy ending. There is a lot of hope but it still is only hope. And what if...
Just since when I'm so pessimistic?!
This fic is dedicated to Muraki-chan, Hiro-chan (I miss you!) and also to my wonderful reviewers Eliza Hime and SapphireDragon. Hope you've liked it