Summary: Molly has an idea. Lupin finds himself being defended by Tonks.
Ch 2: APPEARANCES ARE EVERYTHING
Before the remaining Order members made their exit from the kitchen, Molly burst back through the door with Arthur hot at her heels asking, "Molly, what's wrong, dear?"
"It's just, just, well, everyone sit back down," insisted Molly as she took a seat. She seemed a bit nervous given how her hands were tapping away at the table. However, even Mad-Eye didn't hesitate to sit down.
Molly then gave a speculative glance at the metamorphmagus. "Tonks, just how much of your body can you change? I mean, can you change the size of your--bits?"
Molly was waving a hand towards the "bits" on Tonks' upper torso.
"They're called b--," began Sirius before he felt Lupin kick him sharply on the shin, damn his long legs! Sirius glared at his friend but held his peace.
"Yes, Molly, I can change my 'bits' if I have to. Why?" Then Tonks seemed to be bouncing on the chair as she made the next statement. "Of course! I can make myself look like Hermione!"
"That's good. We can meet the real Hermione, then switch her out and bring her back while Tonks serves out as the decoy." Lupin sat back and said, "That's a great idea, Molly."
The woman beamed. "I just don't want to see Hermione put in harm's way. She's Ginny's best friend and Ron's, uh, well." Molly turned to her husband and said sternly, "Arthur, you really need to sit down and have a talk with that boy."
"Now's not the time to get into family discussions, Molly. We need to see about making the switch."
"You've got a great idea, but one essential flaw, Molly," began Mad-Eye. "Tonks will need to be dressed like Miss Granger as well and we don't know what she'll be wearing."
"Oh, that's simple enough. Hermione wears jeans whenever she visits us at the Burrow, remember, Arthur?" Her husband nodded his agreement Molly sat back with more confidence. She had thought she was only useful as a cook and housecleaner to the Order.
"I have plenty of those in my closet," said Tonks, "but what type of shirt does she wear?"
"Oh, dear, I didn't think of that. I suppose a standard robe would cover it," said Molly. But then she snapped her fingers. "Actually, I just finished a jumper for her and made a matching one for Ginny. You know how girls like to dress alike."
The men looked at each other clearly perplexed by this statement and seemed to turn in concert to Tonks for verification of this feminine custom.
Tonks shrugged and said, "That'll do. You can give her the matching one to put on. I'll need a picture of her to try to mimic the face and hair, but I'll have to study her in person to get the rest of the 'bits' right."
"Making the switch could be troublesome, though. We can't have two Hermione Grangers appearing," reminded Mad-Eye.
"Tonks can cover with a hood until she needs to switch places." Sirius turned to Tonks with a grin. "Remember how you used to play Dementor?"
Tonks shared the grin with her cousin and Lupin could see the family resemblance. He was glad that Sirius could even have fond memories of anything to do with Dementors.
"But where can we do this observation and switch? Logistics, we have to consider logistics," said Mad-Eye with his eye now turning madly.
"Actually, I had intended on catching the preview of the compiled works of Gilderoy Lockhart at Flourish and Blotts with Hermione and Ginny." Molly Weasley now seemed to be turning a bit red in the face as she made the admission. "The presentation of the illustrations in the books is supposed to take about an hour."
"Lockhart? That popinjay? Who'd be interested in what that fop has to say? He was a complete imbecile at school, I can't imagine that's improved over the years." Sirius was clearly disgusted by the prospect. "Snuffles should attend this preview to chew up all the books."
"Snuffles would get a bad case of indigestion," murmured Lupin.
"I was going to run off after a few minutes with the boys to get autographs of the Chudley Cannons. They're appearing at the Quality Quidditch Supplies," said Arthur to the men around the table. "We can shuffle Hermione out with the boys I think."
"All right, I better stop over at my flat to change," said Tonks. "Come on, Remus, you've seen what Hermione wears. You'll need to help me."
"We'll meet at the Leaky Cauldron," said Mad-Eye as Tonks hoisted Lupin out of his chair before he could make an excuse to avoid her. They stepped into the street outside of number twelve and apparated to her flat.
- - - - - - - -
"How about this one?" asked Tonks. They were in her bedroom and three pairs of jeans now lay rejected on the floor. She was holding the current pair by the waistband where the backside faced Lupin.
Lupin frowned a moment then simply stuck his hand through the rip on the backside of the jeans and gave a quick wave to Tonks while he said, "Definitely not Hermione's style." He removed his hand and said with a note of exasperation, "Don't you have any jeans without holes?"
"You're one to talk. Most of your clothes have rips and tears." Her disembodied voice came from her closet.
"Ripped garments and being a werewolf go hand in hand. Besides, I at least repair the damage."
"Yeah? Well, I can't do a decent stitching spell to save my--Ah, here's one! Wait just a minute." Tonks jumped out of her closet and waved the jeans triumphantly in one hand. "See, no holes? I'll be dressed in a wink."
Lupin allowed himself to be pushed out the door without protest. He looked around her small living room while he waited. His attention was drawn to a small multi-colored parasol that was spinning across her desk when he heard the front door slowly opening.
Lupin swept out his wand as he quickly turned and came face to face with a beautiful, middle-aged woman, perhaps ten years his elder, with long midnight black hair and a heart-shaped face.
"Well, well, I suppose my daughter has decided to play the game again," said the woman as her eyes raked his appearance. She added with dripping condescension. "Hm, she must be quite desperate."
Lupin lowered his wand. "Andromeda Tonks, I presume."
"I just use the name Andromeda now," she said as she began walking around Lupin, still seeming to take his measure. "There's something familiar about you. I can't believe I'm asking this, but have we ever slept together?"
"Mother!" Tonks stepped out of the bedroom still zipping up her jeans, but managed not to trip over herself. Lupin was amused when she practically threw herself protectively between him and her mother. He could still see over Tonks head, but she stood facing her mother with her back to him. "I wasn't expecting you. What happened to your trip to France?"
"I might be indulgent, but I don't do threesomes, Nymphadora. Now who's your man?"
"Mum, this is my--my friend, Remus Lupin. Remus, Mum," said Tonks with a quiet tone that was uncharacteristic of her.
"Remus Lupin? Of course! You were friends with Sirius," said Andromeda, finally showing a genuine smile. "The last time I saw you was at the homecoming at the Hogwarts Express when Sirius was a first year." She tilted her head up and said, "My how you've grown."
Andromeda tapped her lips with an elegantly manicured finger as she continued. "You were that shy, little brown-haired boy that hung out with Sirius. Yes, it was the scars on the face I recognized. You had a limp, too."
"That comes and goes, but the scars stay," admitted Lupin and politely added. "I'm pleased to meet you."
"Mum, as much as I love seeing you, Remus and I have plans for this weekend, if you know what I mean. I'm sure you understand," began Tonks.
"He's not your usual type, Nymphadora. Have you lost your touch for attracting suitable men after all this time?"
"Remus is quite suitable, Mum," defended Tonks. She grabbed his hands and was practically clutching them around her waist. Lupin didn't fight her movements, but he couldn't remember ever being involved in this sort of situation before.
Andromeda seemed to loom in a bit to get a closer look at Lupin again. "He doesn't look like he has much money, Nymphadora. I could see keeping a man who's an energetic lover, but he looks a bit too peaky to--"
"MOTHER!" Tonks had gritted her teeth.
"Forgive us, Andromeda, but we had plans to stay busy with each other all weekend," Lupin gave Tonks' hand a light squeeze. "It's the only way to build up my stamina."
"I see. Fine, Nymphadora, I'll just be at my house when you can finally tear yourself away from--him," said Andromeda with a delicate sniff of her nose. She turned to Lupin and added smugly, "You won't last; they never do."
Andromeda apparated with a regal CRACK.
Tonks released her rigid stance and slumped into Lupin for a moment. She drew comfort by the arms that were still around her and leaned the back of her head against his chest. The man either had the utmost control of his temper or absolutely no ego where it came to projecting 'manliness.'
"I'd rather face Mad-Eye on a paranoid day than my mother." She opened her eyes and looked up into his face. "Sorry about that."
"No problem, I'm accustomed to being discarded," he said as he released her. "It might not be a good idea that she thinks we're involved. Why didn't you clear that up?"
Tonks faced him as she hugged her arms around herself. "I did introduce you as a friend, if you remember. Mum just doesn't believe women could just be friends with a man. Anyway, you'll make a good cover for me when I have to do work for the Order while she's in town, which I hope won't be too long."
"I thought your parents were still married," ventured Lupin.
"They are. My dad, the poor slob, still loves her, but she was sleeping around on him since, never mind."
"That's why Sirius would end up as your intermittent babysitter during summers?" asked Lupin.
Tonks just nodded. "I think he enjoyed any excuse for getting out of his house and, really, Mum can be very wonderful to those she finds suitable. By the time Sirius was sent to Azkaban, I was at my first year in Hogwarts. Let's just say my Mum enjoyed the freedom it gave her and never went back to living with my Dad."
"I thought she'd be a bit more like Sirius, although he was a bit free with his affections where girls were concerned when we were at school," admitted Lupin.
"Oh, Mum hates the Dark Arts with a passion, but one weakness is that she needs to have a man in her life. She doesn't care if he's pureblood, half- blood or complete muggle," said Tonks in a flippant tone. Then her voice became quite serious as she grabbed his arms. "Don't go near her without me."
"I got the impression I failed to exhibit the attributes she seeks, Tonks. Besides, if she thinks I'm your latest whim then--"
"It hasn't stopped her before," admitted Tonks. "Look, it's a long story and we have to get to the Leaky Cauldron. Just let me get my trainers on."
She stooped over to lace her shoes when she asked, almost shyly, "So, do you remember meeting my Mum before?"
"Now that I think of it, yes. We were coming home from first year and Sirius was shouting as soon he caught sight of her through the window on the train. He always described Andromeda as being a big sister to him." Lupin stopped a moment and added, "She had a baby with her, probably a year old."
"Yeah, that would be me," admitted Tonks. Then Lupin suddenly burst out laughing.
"And what is so funny about having seen me when I was still in nappies?"
Lupin suppressed his laughter, but a smile now graced his face.
"What? I didn't throw up on you, did I?" asked Tonks insistently.
"No, but even back then, you tried to bite me," Lupin finally confessed. "Time to meet the others at the Leaky Cauldron."
- - - - - - - - - -
Andromeda arrived at her flat just in time to hear an owl pecking at her window. She let the bird in, then smiled brightly as she read the scroll. Although she wasn't certain where he was hiding, she had been contacted twice before. There were only two people in the world she truly loved. One was her headstrong daughter. The other was her adoring cousin, Sirius Black.
She pulled out a quill and thought about how best to respond to his query.
Dearest Cousin,
I understand your concern about my daughter. I'll give you a brief history since I am disturbed about her latest relationship with an old friend of yours...
TBC
Author notes: I have no idea whether Andromeda Tonks is sweet or, well, a bit of a barracuda as I have portrayed her. I just thought a bit of moral ambiguity on her part would reflect the sort of thing we also see with Sirius. He's loyal and loves deeply, but he's willing to cross the lines when it comes to protecting his loved ones. He has his dark side and so I've given one to Andromeda that doesn't involve the Dark Arts, but Andromeda is just a tangent. I don't do triangles. This might be 4 chapters rather than 3 now. I hope I can maintain your interest. Thanks for reading and thank you very much for reviewing.
Ch 2: APPEARANCES ARE EVERYTHING
Before the remaining Order members made their exit from the kitchen, Molly burst back through the door with Arthur hot at her heels asking, "Molly, what's wrong, dear?"
"It's just, just, well, everyone sit back down," insisted Molly as she took a seat. She seemed a bit nervous given how her hands were tapping away at the table. However, even Mad-Eye didn't hesitate to sit down.
Molly then gave a speculative glance at the metamorphmagus. "Tonks, just how much of your body can you change? I mean, can you change the size of your--bits?"
Molly was waving a hand towards the "bits" on Tonks' upper torso.
"They're called b--," began Sirius before he felt Lupin kick him sharply on the shin, damn his long legs! Sirius glared at his friend but held his peace.
"Yes, Molly, I can change my 'bits' if I have to. Why?" Then Tonks seemed to be bouncing on the chair as she made the next statement. "Of course! I can make myself look like Hermione!"
"That's good. We can meet the real Hermione, then switch her out and bring her back while Tonks serves out as the decoy." Lupin sat back and said, "That's a great idea, Molly."
The woman beamed. "I just don't want to see Hermione put in harm's way. She's Ginny's best friend and Ron's, uh, well." Molly turned to her husband and said sternly, "Arthur, you really need to sit down and have a talk with that boy."
"Now's not the time to get into family discussions, Molly. We need to see about making the switch."
"You've got a great idea, but one essential flaw, Molly," began Mad-Eye. "Tonks will need to be dressed like Miss Granger as well and we don't know what she'll be wearing."
"Oh, that's simple enough. Hermione wears jeans whenever she visits us at the Burrow, remember, Arthur?" Her husband nodded his agreement Molly sat back with more confidence. She had thought she was only useful as a cook and housecleaner to the Order.
"I have plenty of those in my closet," said Tonks, "but what type of shirt does she wear?"
"Oh, dear, I didn't think of that. I suppose a standard robe would cover it," said Molly. But then she snapped her fingers. "Actually, I just finished a jumper for her and made a matching one for Ginny. You know how girls like to dress alike."
The men looked at each other clearly perplexed by this statement and seemed to turn in concert to Tonks for verification of this feminine custom.
Tonks shrugged and said, "That'll do. You can give her the matching one to put on. I'll need a picture of her to try to mimic the face and hair, but I'll have to study her in person to get the rest of the 'bits' right."
"Making the switch could be troublesome, though. We can't have two Hermione Grangers appearing," reminded Mad-Eye.
"Tonks can cover with a hood until she needs to switch places." Sirius turned to Tonks with a grin. "Remember how you used to play Dementor?"
Tonks shared the grin with her cousin and Lupin could see the family resemblance. He was glad that Sirius could even have fond memories of anything to do with Dementors.
"But where can we do this observation and switch? Logistics, we have to consider logistics," said Mad-Eye with his eye now turning madly.
"Actually, I had intended on catching the preview of the compiled works of Gilderoy Lockhart at Flourish and Blotts with Hermione and Ginny." Molly Weasley now seemed to be turning a bit red in the face as she made the admission. "The presentation of the illustrations in the books is supposed to take about an hour."
"Lockhart? That popinjay? Who'd be interested in what that fop has to say? He was a complete imbecile at school, I can't imagine that's improved over the years." Sirius was clearly disgusted by the prospect. "Snuffles should attend this preview to chew up all the books."
"Snuffles would get a bad case of indigestion," murmured Lupin.
"I was going to run off after a few minutes with the boys to get autographs of the Chudley Cannons. They're appearing at the Quality Quidditch Supplies," said Arthur to the men around the table. "We can shuffle Hermione out with the boys I think."
"All right, I better stop over at my flat to change," said Tonks. "Come on, Remus, you've seen what Hermione wears. You'll need to help me."
"We'll meet at the Leaky Cauldron," said Mad-Eye as Tonks hoisted Lupin out of his chair before he could make an excuse to avoid her. They stepped into the street outside of number twelve and apparated to her flat.
- - - - - - - -
"How about this one?" asked Tonks. They were in her bedroom and three pairs of jeans now lay rejected on the floor. She was holding the current pair by the waistband where the backside faced Lupin.
Lupin frowned a moment then simply stuck his hand through the rip on the backside of the jeans and gave a quick wave to Tonks while he said, "Definitely not Hermione's style." He removed his hand and said with a note of exasperation, "Don't you have any jeans without holes?"
"You're one to talk. Most of your clothes have rips and tears." Her disembodied voice came from her closet.
"Ripped garments and being a werewolf go hand in hand. Besides, I at least repair the damage."
"Yeah? Well, I can't do a decent stitching spell to save my--Ah, here's one! Wait just a minute." Tonks jumped out of her closet and waved the jeans triumphantly in one hand. "See, no holes? I'll be dressed in a wink."
Lupin allowed himself to be pushed out the door without protest. He looked around her small living room while he waited. His attention was drawn to a small multi-colored parasol that was spinning across her desk when he heard the front door slowly opening.
Lupin swept out his wand as he quickly turned and came face to face with a beautiful, middle-aged woman, perhaps ten years his elder, with long midnight black hair and a heart-shaped face.
"Well, well, I suppose my daughter has decided to play the game again," said the woman as her eyes raked his appearance. She added with dripping condescension. "Hm, she must be quite desperate."
Lupin lowered his wand. "Andromeda Tonks, I presume."
"I just use the name Andromeda now," she said as she began walking around Lupin, still seeming to take his measure. "There's something familiar about you. I can't believe I'm asking this, but have we ever slept together?"
"Mother!" Tonks stepped out of the bedroom still zipping up her jeans, but managed not to trip over herself. Lupin was amused when she practically threw herself protectively between him and her mother. He could still see over Tonks head, but she stood facing her mother with her back to him. "I wasn't expecting you. What happened to your trip to France?"
"I might be indulgent, but I don't do threesomes, Nymphadora. Now who's your man?"
"Mum, this is my--my friend, Remus Lupin. Remus, Mum," said Tonks with a quiet tone that was uncharacteristic of her.
"Remus Lupin? Of course! You were friends with Sirius," said Andromeda, finally showing a genuine smile. "The last time I saw you was at the homecoming at the Hogwarts Express when Sirius was a first year." She tilted her head up and said, "My how you've grown."
Andromeda tapped her lips with an elegantly manicured finger as she continued. "You were that shy, little brown-haired boy that hung out with Sirius. Yes, it was the scars on the face I recognized. You had a limp, too."
"That comes and goes, but the scars stay," admitted Lupin and politely added. "I'm pleased to meet you."
"Mum, as much as I love seeing you, Remus and I have plans for this weekend, if you know what I mean. I'm sure you understand," began Tonks.
"He's not your usual type, Nymphadora. Have you lost your touch for attracting suitable men after all this time?"
"Remus is quite suitable, Mum," defended Tonks. She grabbed his hands and was practically clutching them around her waist. Lupin didn't fight her movements, but he couldn't remember ever being involved in this sort of situation before.
Andromeda seemed to loom in a bit to get a closer look at Lupin again. "He doesn't look like he has much money, Nymphadora. I could see keeping a man who's an energetic lover, but he looks a bit too peaky to--"
"MOTHER!" Tonks had gritted her teeth.
"Forgive us, Andromeda, but we had plans to stay busy with each other all weekend," Lupin gave Tonks' hand a light squeeze. "It's the only way to build up my stamina."
"I see. Fine, Nymphadora, I'll just be at my house when you can finally tear yourself away from--him," said Andromeda with a delicate sniff of her nose. She turned to Lupin and added smugly, "You won't last; they never do."
Andromeda apparated with a regal CRACK.
Tonks released her rigid stance and slumped into Lupin for a moment. She drew comfort by the arms that were still around her and leaned the back of her head against his chest. The man either had the utmost control of his temper or absolutely no ego where it came to projecting 'manliness.'
"I'd rather face Mad-Eye on a paranoid day than my mother." She opened her eyes and looked up into his face. "Sorry about that."
"No problem, I'm accustomed to being discarded," he said as he released her. "It might not be a good idea that she thinks we're involved. Why didn't you clear that up?"
Tonks faced him as she hugged her arms around herself. "I did introduce you as a friend, if you remember. Mum just doesn't believe women could just be friends with a man. Anyway, you'll make a good cover for me when I have to do work for the Order while she's in town, which I hope won't be too long."
"I thought your parents were still married," ventured Lupin.
"They are. My dad, the poor slob, still loves her, but she was sleeping around on him since, never mind."
"That's why Sirius would end up as your intermittent babysitter during summers?" asked Lupin.
Tonks just nodded. "I think he enjoyed any excuse for getting out of his house and, really, Mum can be very wonderful to those she finds suitable. By the time Sirius was sent to Azkaban, I was at my first year in Hogwarts. Let's just say my Mum enjoyed the freedom it gave her and never went back to living with my Dad."
"I thought she'd be a bit more like Sirius, although he was a bit free with his affections where girls were concerned when we were at school," admitted Lupin.
"Oh, Mum hates the Dark Arts with a passion, but one weakness is that she needs to have a man in her life. She doesn't care if he's pureblood, half- blood or complete muggle," said Tonks in a flippant tone. Then her voice became quite serious as she grabbed his arms. "Don't go near her without me."
"I got the impression I failed to exhibit the attributes she seeks, Tonks. Besides, if she thinks I'm your latest whim then--"
"It hasn't stopped her before," admitted Tonks. "Look, it's a long story and we have to get to the Leaky Cauldron. Just let me get my trainers on."
She stooped over to lace her shoes when she asked, almost shyly, "So, do you remember meeting my Mum before?"
"Now that I think of it, yes. We were coming home from first year and Sirius was shouting as soon he caught sight of her through the window on the train. He always described Andromeda as being a big sister to him." Lupin stopped a moment and added, "She had a baby with her, probably a year old."
"Yeah, that would be me," admitted Tonks. Then Lupin suddenly burst out laughing.
"And what is so funny about having seen me when I was still in nappies?"
Lupin suppressed his laughter, but a smile now graced his face.
"What? I didn't throw up on you, did I?" asked Tonks insistently.
"No, but even back then, you tried to bite me," Lupin finally confessed. "Time to meet the others at the Leaky Cauldron."
- - - - - - - - - -
Andromeda arrived at her flat just in time to hear an owl pecking at her window. She let the bird in, then smiled brightly as she read the scroll. Although she wasn't certain where he was hiding, she had been contacted twice before. There were only two people in the world she truly loved. One was her headstrong daughter. The other was her adoring cousin, Sirius Black.
She pulled out a quill and thought about how best to respond to his query.
Dearest Cousin,
I understand your concern about my daughter. I'll give you a brief history since I am disturbed about her latest relationship with an old friend of yours...
TBC
Author notes: I have no idea whether Andromeda Tonks is sweet or, well, a bit of a barracuda as I have portrayed her. I just thought a bit of moral ambiguity on her part would reflect the sort of thing we also see with Sirius. He's loyal and loves deeply, but he's willing to cross the lines when it comes to protecting his loved ones. He has his dark side and so I've given one to Andromeda that doesn't involve the Dark Arts, but Andromeda is just a tangent. I don't do triangles. This might be 4 chapters rather than 3 now. I hope I can maintain your interest. Thanks for reading and thank you very much for reviewing.