Disclaimer: They are only mine when I'm having REM!

Confusion and Disappointment

Sunnydale, 2002

January

Willow smiled as Tara crossed the street, thinking how life couldn't be more perfect.

Suddenly her lover stopped and turned, as Willow gazed deep into her eyes, Tara gave her that smile,

the smile that told her how truly loved she was. Tara whispered, "I love you."

Then Willow saw something moving out of the corner of her eyes. She screamed as the truck bore

down on her heart, her soul, and her world.

And Tara was gone.

February

Spike burst through the door, realizing in shock that Wills had never bothered with an uninviting spell

to bar him from their dorm. He gave a small smile before returning to the task at hand.

"Red, The slayer's goin' mad wonderin' where." He stopped as the scent of blood hit him. And as he

quickly followed it into the bathroom he blanched. "Oh Red, what the fuck have you done." He

whispered, staring at the pale body of the 21 year old before him, surrounded in a pool of her own

blood, muttering to herself.

Suddenly he put his vampiric speed to good use, bandaging her wrists with thematerial that was

previously part of his t-shirt, and in the space of 10 minutes he had burst through the door of the ER,

screaming hoarsely for help.

March

Willow smiled gently at Spike as he stood before the front door of the Rosenberg residence. "Spike?"

He looked at her with interest, wondering what she would ask him.

Since her discharge from the hospital three weeks before, he had seen her every night, turning up at

her doorstep and yelling abuse until she agreed to go have coffee, or go to the cinema.

At first he knew that she only agreed to prevent him from waking or upsetting the neighbours. But

within a week she began to relax and talk to him, about everything. From Tara to the incident on

Valentine's Day, and even her stress at being told not to return to school until the following semester.

But not once had she ever asked him a question. "Would you like to come in?" His face widened

considerably at this impromptu display of trust. As he followed her in, he took his first look around

the Rosenberg house, before his eyes rested upon the woman in front of him. As he watched her

move into the kitchen and busy herself with making tea, his thoughts returned to the dreams that

had been plaguing him for the past few days.

Dreams that betrayed his subconscious and told him exactly what he would like to do to the beautiful

redhead stood in front of him. But she was still grieving, so his plans would be put on hold for a while,

just a few decades or so, until she was gone and he couldn't embarrass himself. 15 minutes later, as

they were snuggled on the couch talking, Willow made it clear that she didn't agree with that plan.

One week later

After a week of sneaking around, they had decided to tell the others. They all had pretty much the

reactions expected of them; Giles cleaned his glasses, a lot. Xander stalked out of the room muttering

something about bloody vampires tricking his best friends into falling for them. Anya asked if the sex

was good and taking Willow's sudden blush as a positive reaction, followed Xander. Buffy yelled a lot

before storming out to patrol. Within 3 days they had all come around to the idea. Kinda.

April

As Willow fled the Summers' house, Spike refused to look at Buffy. He just left. He hadn't bothered

with clothing. He walked slowly home, jumped into the Desoto and left. Refusing to return, ever.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sunnydale, 2018

Reeling as the events of early 2002 fled back to him, Spike watched her beautiful face. But he waited

for her to speak, refusing to push her, still holding fast to the promise he'd made, to never fall again.

No woman should be able to make him feel guilty, he was a bloody vampire!

As he waited, Spike stared at the woman before him. Woman was definitely the word for it. Although

the last time he had seen her she had been anything but a girl, which was how he remembered her.

An innocent young woman who had needed his protection.

But that Willow was gone; and apparently more than just physically so, because the woman before

him showed no signs of the trusting, caring beauty that he had loved. This woman had hard, false

eyes and a grim look on her pale face. After five more minutes of staring, deep into her eyes,

searching for some sign that she held even a fragment of the love they had once shared, she spoke,

her words sounding cold and icy.

"Stay away from me, stay away from my slayer and maybe I won't kill you."

He whispered, dolefully, "You just have Red, you just have."

As, once again, she walked away from him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As Lizbeth slowly walked up the steps into school, her stormy blue eyes took in everything around

her. But she still didn't see them coming until she was surrounded, with no escape.

"Hi Lizbeth", they all chorused from behind her.

"Hi guys." She casually replied, turning slowly to greet them.

"So what classes have you got today?" Ella asked excitedly.

"Erm." Lizbeth was taken aback slightly by the eagerness in the petite blonde's voice. "Well first I've

got History, then double English and after lunch, uhm, Math's and P.E."

"Cool, I'm in History and P.E. at the same time, and Will and Rob have Math's after lunch so you've

only got English on your own. I'm assuming you should be quite good at that!"

"We live in hope." Lizbeth replied.

Will smiled at her statement while Rob threw his arms around her saying wisely, "that we do my

young padowan, that we do."

History flew by, as Lizbeth tried desperately to pay attention while Ella chattered away beside her, the

teacher, Mr. Quinn, was apparently oblivious to this. Next thing she new, it was time for English.

Lizbeth had been looking forward to seeing Mr. Paxton again all morning. He seemed kind, reasonable

and understanding, in other words, unlike any teacher she'd ever had before. As she walked into class

she glanced around, realizing that she was the first to enter she took a seat centre front, intent on

paying close attention in this class as she felt a need to impress her new teacher.

"Mind if I take this seat?" A deep voice asked from behind her before its owner collapsed into the

chair next to her.

"No, go for it." She replied, despite the obvious fact that he hadn't waited for an answer. She felt his

eyes on her and as she turned to ask him what he was staring at, Lizbeth was met with the most

beautiful pair of Grey eyes, slightly floppy White Blonde hair and a smirk worthy of any wolf.

Suddenly she realized that she had been staring at the boy for much longer than is acceptable and he

leaned over to murmur in her ear.

"Like what you see?" Lizbeth was suddenly dragged back to reality by the sound of Mr. Paxton's,

very amused, voice.

"Well when Miss. Richards and Mr. Malloy are quite done flirting, perhaps we

could begin?"

The rest of the class erupted into giggles and whispers, the boy, Malloy, simply leaned

back in his chair looking quite satisfied with himself and Lizbeth hid behind her hair as her face had

decided to match its deep red colour.

"Thank you. Now, the first novel of the semester will be

Dracula. We are going to be looking at." And so went the lesson. Finally, as the lunch bell rang, all

the students jumped out of their seats and rushed to the door as Mr. Paxton yelled out after them, "I

expect a summary of the first two chapters on my desk at the beginning of the next lesson!"

Lizbeth tried to sneak out quietly, but Mr. Paxton just caught her.

"Miss. Richards, if I could please have a quick word." Lizbeth slowly walked towards the man, not

daring to look at his face. She could still feel the embarrassment from the beginning of class. "Firstly I

would like to apologize for embarrassing you earlier, it was not my intention and I'm very sorry."

When the redhead finally looked up at him, he could see the shock on her face. * You poor thing * he

thought * they must have treated you atrociously for you to be that shocked by a simple apology. *

"Secondly, I don't want you to think that I am not doing my job. I am well aware that you studied

this novel last year. Unfortunately I cannot change the whole classes schedule for one student. Do

you understand?" he spoke calmly and comfortingly.

"Yes sir, I under." "However. It is completely pointless you doing exactly the same work

this year as last year so make sure that by the next lesson you have decided which novel you are

going to study. Just make sure it's pre-20th century."

Lizbeth looked up at him in wonder before breaking out into a huge smile. "Cheers sir! Thank you so

much. This is gonna be wicked!" And with that, she sped out of the classroom.

Neil Paxton watched as she ran steaming into the hall, but all he could remember was that smile. *

How am I supposed to do what I have to do when she smiles like that over something as simple as a

novel? This is gonna be impossible. *

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As Lizbeth entered the library she heard the heart wrenching sobs coming from the office. She slowly

walked up to the door and knocked lightly before entering.

"Ms. Winters? Are you okay?" Willow quickly gulped back the tears that had so unexpectedly

overcome her, before turning to her charge.

"Lizbeth! Hi. I'm fine thanks. What can I do for you? I was under the impression that we wouldn't be

meeting until after school." Lizbeth paused for a moment, contemplating whether or not to question

the woman further on what had her so distraught. Finally she came to the conclusion that it was none

of her business and she had no right to invade her watcher's privacy.

"I need to find a novel to study for English. Something pre-20th century. I figured that you'd be able

to help me find something good." Willow looked carefully at the girl in front of her. They'd only met

the day before and already she was being asked for advice. On something non- hellmouthy as well!

"Well of course I'll help you find something. Was there anything in particular you were interested in?

A certain writer or genre?"

"Just something non-demony. I have this feeling that I'm gonna want a break from vampires and

monsters at some point during each day! I'm also gonna want a happy ending."

"I know exactly what you need."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As Lizbeth wandered towards the canteen she saw Mr. Paxton exiting the teachers' lounge. She ran

over to him excitedly.

"Mr. Paxton, I found a book and just wanted to run it past ya. You know, check that it's alright to

study."

Neil smiled at the enthusiastic young student standing before him. "Well what have you found?

Though really anything that's in the library would probably be fine."

"It's Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen."

"Well that's certainly different from Dracula but it shouldn't be a problem. It's not on the syllabus this

year or next so I don't see any issues. But are you sure that's the one you want to study? It's not at

all similar to Dracula. There is very little action and it is as far from a horror as you could get."

"I definitely wanna do this one. I fink I've 'ad enough of 'orror."

Neil studied the girl's face, curious. * She knows something. But what? I don't know how I'm gonna

do this but I need to find out what it is. * As he came out of his thoughts he realized that he had

been stood in the middle of the hall just staring at the girl. * Smooth Neil, real smooth. You've gotta

watch it or she'll realize that something's up. *

"Well if you're sure that's the one then I'll set you the same

task as the rest of the class. Summary of the first two chapters."

"Sure fing sir. Not a prob."

As he watched her move happily towards the canteen, he called out, "and make sure it's good. I

expect that you could do really well if you put your mind to it. I'm sure you'll be very challenging." He

added quietly to himself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rob watched as she entered the canteen, a bright smile gracing her face. Ella was far too busy

chattering away about the hideous Science test she had just taken to notice that Rob was definitely

no longer at their table. Except in body of course.

As Will listened half-heartedly to his friend's ramblings he followed Rob's line of sight to find out what

had his best friend so entranced. When he discovered who had Rob acting like a total space cadet he

grinned slightly. So Rob had a crush on the new girl. This should be interesting. * Wonder how long

it'll take for Ella to do her nut. I s'pose I should really intervene, but this is gonna be far too much

fun. *

When Ella noticed Lizbeth approaching their table she jumped out of her chair, nearly spilling the

three cokes that were on it all over her friends. "Lizbeth! How was it? Anything fun happen? Not that

anything fun ever happens in English but it's like you said earlier, we live in hope right?"

Lizbeth giggled at her new friend's outburst. "That's right Ella. Now what drugs are you on and where

can I find some?"

Ella grinned at that comment, as if she had heard it many times before. "Well actually I got them just

over there." She replied, pointing towards the food line. "They're called E numbers, more commonly

known as Skittles."

"Ah, so we've got a sweet addict eh? Shoulda guessed, no one can be that bloody 'yper just cos it's

lunchtime!"

"Well that's one of the joys of hanging with Ella here," Will explained jovially, "just pump her full of

candy and voila, our very own mini- cheerleader!"

"Okay you take that back William Osborne! How dare you compare me to the likes of Amber

Reynolds!"

"Hey calm down El, I'm sure you'd look great in a cheerleading uniform."

"Yeah, just like you'd look fabulous in the wrestling kit. You know, with the tights."

"Well of course."

Rob smiled quietly as he watched his friends teasingly insult each other. He whispered to Lizbeth, who

looked quite bemused at the scene before her, "Don't worry, they do this all the time. It's part of why

they're so great to hang around with. Will doesn't take anything seriously and Ella takes almost

everything seriously. Fortunately she knows it and manages to joke about it. I think she's accepted it

as her one flaw."

"Well I just 'ope they don't pull me into it. Will's too nice to insult an' Ella's way too scary!" Lizbeth

joked as she leaned closer to ensure that the others couldn't hear them.

Rob's heart practically leapt out of his chest as he felt her arm graze his. * Oh god, why do you

torture me like this. Now I'm gonna have to ask her out, or else I'll end up doing something highly

inappropriate to this woman in the middle of the canteen! * "Uhm, Lizbeth." He whispered nervously.

Smiling Lizbeth turned to look into his eyes, curious as to what had caused such a sudden seriousness

to take hold of his voice. "What?"

"I was just wondering, uhm, well, er, I thought, that maybe we, what I mean to say is, well, *come

on man, spit it out. Since when were you such a geek when it comes to girls. *

"Wouldyougooutwithme?"

"What? I'm sorry Rob I didn' catch that."

"Would, would you, uhm go, go out with me, er, on a date type thing." *on a date type thing. Oh

great, well-done Rob. That was real smooth. *

Lizbeth looked at Rob in shock. *Crap* "Uhm, Rob you seem like a really great guy, but."

*Here it comes * Rob thought ".

"I just don't know ya very well yet."

*Strike 1 *

".And I'm still tryin' to get used to everyfing 'ere."

*Strike 2 *

"I'm not really sure that I should be datin' anyone yet."

*Strike 3 *

".Plus, I fink you and I could be really great friends, I wouldn't wanna risk spoilin' that."

*And I'm outta here *

"I'm sorry."

*So am I. *

"It's fine, really. Look it was just an idea Lizbeth. Don't even worry about it. It's really not a problem."

*Why am I reassuring her when I'm the one that's just been majorly rejected? Because she's

absolutely stunning that's why. *

"How about we all go for a walk outside? Guys? Come on, what do ya think?" Ella asked, looking

suspiciously at Rob and Lizbeth, who were now looking anywhere but at each other.

"Sure Ella, a walk sounds great. Lets go." Rob replied. *We'll just pretend it never happened, not a

problem. It's fine. *

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*