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Interlude to Chances Part 3 - Discoveries
Memories
I'm so tired of being here.
Suppressed by all my, childish fear.
And if you have to leave.
I wish that you would just leave.
Cos your presence still lingers here.
And you wont leave me alone.
As Willow wandered slowly around the mansion she felt her heart breaking once more. She
remembered all of the things that had happened here. All the horrors she'd seen. But nothing in her
memory hurt as much as the pain he'd caused her. After they'd finally told the others about their
relationship, Spike had brought her here. He'd told her so many things that night, how he wished that he
could take away all of the pain she'd been put through, how he loved her, How he wanted to spend his
eternity making her happy.
These wounds wont seem to heal.
And this pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
And you still have.
All of me.
She remembered the promises he'd made that night. He would never hurt her. He would never leave
her. He wanted to become the man she saw he could be and he would start by taking this mansion and
turning it into a palace for her. A place where they could live a real, normal life.
"Is there such a thing?" she'd joked.
He'd looked at her seriously, and he'd said, "There will be. And you will have it. If anyone in this world
deserves happiness it's you Willow. You have stolen my heart and I never want it back, because I know
that it's safe in your care. I can't marry you. But I can love you. And I mean to, forever."
You used to captivate me. By your resonating light.
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts.
My once pleasant dreams.
Your voice it chased away.
All the sanity in me.
He had captivated her. He was the absolute opposite of everyone she'd ever loved. He excited her,
surprised her and made her feel scared and safe at the exact same time. He had been so loving and
calm when he was with her. But then in a moment he would change and become the most passionate
lover she'd ever had. Every night he'd hold her in his arms so tightly, as if he were scared that if he let
her go, she'd never come back.
Willow felt the tears welling behind her eyes at these memories. She couldn't seem to help falling in love
with people who would then leave her. And when she'd tried to love someone after Spike, she had fled,
in anticipation of being abandoned again.
These wounds wont seem to heal.
And this pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
And you still have.
All of me.
"DAMMIT!" she yelled, punching a hole in the window of the master bedroom. Refusing to allow herself
to cry she tried to pull her thoughts away from the vampire that had taken her ability to love, to truly give
herself over to someone.
I've tried so hard to tell.
Myself that you're gone.
No matter how hard she tried, he wouldn't leave her alone. She couldn't stop these thoughts from
flooding her head and leaving her feeling weak.
But though you're still with me.
I've been alone.
All alone.
Why couldn't she just take all of this pain from her heart and all of these memories from her head. Why
couldn't she forget how he'd made her feel. Why wouldn't he leave her alone.
And now here she was, stuck in Sunnydale and faced with the knowledge that he was here. And despite
the fact that he wouldn't seem to leave her, Willow suddenly felt so alone. With no-one to hold her or
help her cope with this sorrow, this aching inside.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
And you still have.
All of me.
*If only Xander were here, * she thought, * or even Anya or Cordelia. Or Angel. He'd understand, his
*Heart has been broken as well. *
With that thought Willow wandered down the stairs.
Suddenly she heard a rustle from the curtains. Whipping around she called out "Who's there?".
No-one answered. * Bloody hell woman, now you're getting paranoid. I shouldn't have come here. And I
should never have taken out this coat. I'm just hurting myself now. *
With that thought Willow left the mansion, and the memories, behind her. Vowing to never think of any of
them again.
All of Me, All.
* Never, ever again *
Of Me, All.
* Until you inevitably bump into him on patrol. *
Of Me.
* Bugger. *
The song is 'My Immortal' by Evanescence and can be found on their album 'Fallen' and on the 'Bring
Me To Life' DVD Single.
Interlude to Chances Part 3 - Discoveries
Memories
I'm so tired of being here.
Suppressed by all my, childish fear.
And if you have to leave.
I wish that you would just leave.
Cos your presence still lingers here.
And you wont leave me alone.
As Willow wandered slowly around the mansion she felt her heart breaking once more. She
remembered all of the things that had happened here. All the horrors she'd seen. But nothing in her
memory hurt as much as the pain he'd caused her. After they'd finally told the others about their
relationship, Spike had brought her here. He'd told her so many things that night, how he wished that he
could take away all of the pain she'd been put through, how he loved her, How he wanted to spend his
eternity making her happy.
These wounds wont seem to heal.
And this pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
And you still have.
All of me.
She remembered the promises he'd made that night. He would never hurt her. He would never leave
her. He wanted to become the man she saw he could be and he would start by taking this mansion and
turning it into a palace for her. A place where they could live a real, normal life.
"Is there such a thing?" she'd joked.
He'd looked at her seriously, and he'd said, "There will be. And you will have it. If anyone in this world
deserves happiness it's you Willow. You have stolen my heart and I never want it back, because I know
that it's safe in your care. I can't marry you. But I can love you. And I mean to, forever."
You used to captivate me. By your resonating light.
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts.
My once pleasant dreams.
Your voice it chased away.
All the sanity in me.
He had captivated her. He was the absolute opposite of everyone she'd ever loved. He excited her,
surprised her and made her feel scared and safe at the exact same time. He had been so loving and
calm when he was with her. But then in a moment he would change and become the most passionate
lover she'd ever had. Every night he'd hold her in his arms so tightly, as if he were scared that if he let
her go, she'd never come back.
Willow felt the tears welling behind her eyes at these memories. She couldn't seem to help falling in love
with people who would then leave her. And when she'd tried to love someone after Spike, she had fled,
in anticipation of being abandoned again.
These wounds wont seem to heal.
And this pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
And you still have.
All of me.
"DAMMIT!" she yelled, punching a hole in the window of the master bedroom. Refusing to allow herself
to cry she tried to pull her thoughts away from the vampire that had taken her ability to love, to truly give
herself over to someone.
I've tried so hard to tell.
Myself that you're gone.
No matter how hard she tried, he wouldn't leave her alone. She couldn't stop these thoughts from
flooding her head and leaving her feeling weak.
But though you're still with me.
I've been alone.
All alone.
Why couldn't she just take all of this pain from her heart and all of these memories from her head. Why
couldn't she forget how he'd made her feel. Why wouldn't he leave her alone.
And now here she was, stuck in Sunnydale and faced with the knowledge that he was here. And despite
the fact that he wouldn't seem to leave her, Willow suddenly felt so alone. With no-one to hold her or
help her cope with this sorrow, this aching inside.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
And you still have.
All of me.
*If only Xander were here, * she thought, * or even Anya or Cordelia. Or Angel. He'd understand, his
*Heart has been broken as well. *
With that thought Willow wandered down the stairs.
Suddenly she heard a rustle from the curtains. Whipping around she called out "Who's there?".
No-one answered. * Bloody hell woman, now you're getting paranoid. I shouldn't have come here. And I
should never have taken out this coat. I'm just hurting myself now. *
With that thought Willow left the mansion, and the memories, behind her. Vowing to never think of any of
them again.
All of Me, All.
* Never, ever again *
Of Me, All.
* Until you inevitably bump into him on patrol. *
Of Me.
* Bugger. *
The song is 'My Immortal' by Evanescence and can be found on their album 'Fallen' and on the 'Bring
Me To Life' DVD Single.