Truth Kept Secret"
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Disclaimer: Don't make money off of him like someone we all know....
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Chapter 18 "History""Why won't they let us see him?"
"Calm down, Harry. Dumbledore said once Sirius was stable enough
that he'll let us in to see him."
"But we're the ones that rescued him, so we should be the ones helping down there!"
"Harry just sit down." Ron growled at his best friend. Harry stopped his pacing and stared guiltily at his two best friends.
"I'm sorry guys, I'm just so scared that he might not survive and that all the rescuing was for nothing. We spent almost the whole year trying to get him and now when we finally do we're not allowed in!" Harry slammed his fist into the wall angrily.
"Really Harry, there's no point being angry when all they are doing is trying to help Sirius. He needs all the help he can get, you've seen what he looked like when we saw him." Hermione said.
"She's right Harry, there's no use in moping around." Ginny said as she made her way towards them.
"Ginny just the girl I wanted to see! Did you see him?" Harry asked her as soon as she sat down.
Ginny looked up at him strangely but smiled sadly. "He's going to be okay, but Madam Pomfrey says that it'll take a while for him to get back to his strength." She looked away from Harry and down to the floor. "She said that he was tortured on and off since he disappeared. He's a mess Harry. I don't think he'll be the same Sirius that we knew before, his mind isn't in the right place."
The older Gryffindors stared at her. Harry's mouth was open wide and his emerald eyes blazed with anger.
"I'm going to kill him."
"Harry, don't jump to any conclusions." Hermione said quickly.
"I'm not, I just want to get back at him! This is the last time he touches anyone in my family again! The next time I meet with him will be his last, mark my words." Harry seethed.
"Harry, you have to wait, you can't just barge in head first." Ginny finally said.
Ron stood to the side watching Harry. He was suddenly scared of his friend, to have that much power and still hold himself back. Still being able to control the rage that was in him. Harry was mad, really mad. Ron could see his face pale and his fists clenched to his side. But he admired him for not losing control. Ron chuckled lightly to himself as an image of him appeared and his face as red as his hair. He was angry and was not able to control his emotions. For the first time he felt glad Harry had all the strain, cause he seemed to have been built for it.
"Harry, you've got to calm down, mate, or we'll all end up being blown away." Ron tried joking. It didn't work.
"I'm going to see him, I don't care what they say, I'm going there."
"Harry you can't! Madam Pomfrey doesn't want anyone disturbing her!" Ginny said getting up from her chair and standing in front of him. Ginny was the only one allowed in to the hospital wing as she was the personal helper to the nurse. It was part of the project Ginny had started and stuck to as she found that healing was an art worth learning.
"Ginny, please get out of the way, I can't stand to wait for the news anymore and I want to help Sirius any way I can. I won't sit here pretending that everything is okay, because I bloody well know that it isn't! Everyone saw him at Riddle's mansion and I'm not going to pretend anymore! He was a wreck!"
Ginny was shocked and moved out of the way, though slowly. Harry pushed his way around her and went to the door. They were in a closed off classroom, waiting for news of Sirius. McGonagall had taken them straight in and put them into the classroom and left. At first Harry was protesting, but after a stern no from McGonagall the three were left inside the classroom.
Harry ran up the stairs and up to the infirmary, the others behind him. He stopped and tried to push the mahogany door, but his luck had turned against him and the doors left to stand in front of him, locked.
"Come on Harry, lets get out of here before they come out and we get in trouble." Ginny said.
Harry scowled at her and unlocked the door, bursting into the room. He squinted his eyes as the brightness hit him. The rows of hospital beds lined up on either side of the room and on the other side of the room, a bed was cloaked from view by some curtains. He could hear voices from behind the curtains and the foursome approached it silently.
"We will have to tell Harry soon." Harry's breath hitched up in his throat, thinking the worst.
"Ah, Albus let the boy rest a little, Sirius isn't going anywhere." Pomfrey could be heard.
"I know, but he should really know that Sirius is awake."
"Albus, the man needs some rest and Potter should be left to worry. His actions could have killed his godfather." Snape said.
Harry growled silently. "I didn't see you trying to risk your ass saving him."
Ginny clamped her hand over his mouth. "We don't want them to hear us."
They turned back to the curtain.
"That brat need to have controlled himself. He almost killed himself and my godson, if something happened to Draco, I would have killed him where he stood. He's as reckless as his parents were, and look where it had gotten them." Harry couldn't take it anymore. He was boiling inside and the anger was fed as Snape continued, oblivious to the powerful Gryffindor standing behind him with his power flowing from him out of control.
"His parents were no good Gryffindors. His mother I could stand, but his father really had such a Gryffindor head that he would give his life for anyone. His son is no different."
"Severus be quiet already! You should not be talking about Lily and James like that! If Harry heard you say these things about them, you would be dead. So I advise you to keep your mouth shut!" McGonagall yelled.
"It's too late." They all turned around to see an angry Harry Potter glaring death daggers at his potions master. He ignored his friends trying to calm him down.
"You know Snape that my father was much better then you, he had honor and protected his family, unlike you! You would say you have honor, you blamed my father for all your troubles, but guess what; you're no better then him! I warned you fourth year what would happen if you insult my parents again! I can kill you right now, no one needs you, you're a traitor. You can't spy anymore either, you fucked up everything that you tried to get, what ever that is. You are the worst man I have ever had the displeasure to know! And FYI I did not ask for your godson's help, Draco offered! That was more then you have ever done! You blame me for the things that I have no control over! Do you really think that I want all this? You really think I'm this snobbish self centered Gryffindor Golden boy? Well I got news for you, professor, I'm not this damn boy you think you know so much about! You know nothing about me or my life! NOTHING!"
Harry was outraged as everyone stared at him. Their mouths open like fish out of water. Harry's magic crackled around him as he tried to control his anger.
"You know nothing about what I went through. You don't know how much pain I went through before coming to Hogwarts. I wanted revenge on everyone who gave me pain. All my memories of my parents' death. All the painful dreams. I wanted revenge on my relatives for making me work like a house elf, always calling me a freak and making me believe that I was worthless like my parents. Did you know that I didn't have a friend in my life? Did you know that the first person I met was Draco? And that he acted like a total jerk and when I met Ron I thought that maybe I would finally have a friend my big fat whale of a cousin wouldn't scare away? Did you know that I was almost put into Slytherin? Did you know that everything you thought you knew about me and my being pampered was just an imagination? Did you know that I wished I was pampered, maybe I wouldn't have turned out so skinny and I wouldn't have to wear my cousin's old clothes. That maybe just maybe I would have liked to have a future like some normal kid? But normal doesn't fit the famous Pampered Harry Potter!
"Of course not! Harry Potter doesn't deserve anything he has, he doesn't deserve to live a normal life the way others were brought up. He doesn't deserve to be hugged senseless by someone that he shows affection for, he doesn't deserve anything. He doesn't deserve his parents, so lets walk on their graves talking about how bad of parents they were. Well I'll tell you what professor. They were better then you will ever be! They died protecting me, but you would never die for anyone, would you? You'd rather save your greasy behind! At least they cared! The people you called obnoxious and stubborn turned out better then any one of you!" Harry screamed out at a stunned Snape. Some of the windows were blasted open and the cold February air swept over them. His power leaked out of him. The air became hot and rain began to fall outside, an open rainstorm.
His grief was put into the rain and the hot tears were streaming down his face as he glared at his professor. Harry was so scared, he felt so alone as he stood in the middle of the room, things flying around him as he stood there. His face was hidden in his storm as images of his parents went through his mind.
"I'm alone, I wanted so much for them to be by my side. I wanted to hear them tell me that they were proud of me, that they knew what I had to do. I need them to believe in me." Harry's anger suddenly subsided and he fell down on his knees, more tears poured out of his eyes. He had never cried like that. Ever.
He was all alone and the people that loved him stood shocked beyond belief, no one having enough courage to approach him and comfort him. Harry's tears suddenly stopped as a figure bent down and took him into their arms. The smell of hospital clothes hit him full blast and Harry lifted his head up to look at who was hugging him when everyone else was afraid to.
"It's all right Harry, I'm here and I'll stay here as long as you want me too.
Harry looked up from the arms enfolding him and gasped. Sirius stood next to him, barely keeping his eyes open, but nevertheless was sitting on the cold floor comforting his godson. Harry felt a surge of gratitude at him.
"Sirius, you really shouldn't be up."
Sirius chuckled a little and nodded, "I guess, but who could sleep with you blowing up half the place. And you missed Snivellus." Sirius said the last part into his ear. Harry smiled.
"Thank you."
"Harry, I should be the one thanking you, you saved me from Voldemort's grasp and you've brought me here. I don't know how you managed it, but I'm forever in you debt."
Harry's guilt made its appearance again and he leaned back into Sirius' chest and choked down a sob.
"You wouldn't even be in this mess if it weren't for me. I never should have done what I did, I never should've believed those images Voldemort sent me."
"Harry." Sirius lifted his face up to look into his eyes, oblivious to their audience.
"Harry, you have to be strong, you can't just burden yourself with all this guilt. Let go of it. It doesn't suit you. If you want blame it on me, or anyone. That way you're safe from anything happening to you."
"You don't deserve any of this guilt Sirius, I'm the one who has to defeat him, I'm the one who has to suffer."
"Well then, I'll suffer with you. We'll be two of a kind." Sirius pulled him into another hug as Harry's eyes glistened with tears.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Harry you must remember that you are not the sole fighter of this war, yes you are destined to defeat him, but the prophecy never said anything about not getting help from the outside."
"But- I didn't think..." Harry trailed off as his last bit of strength was taken from him. His body slumped against Sirius' and his godfather lifted him up on the bed opposite his.
Their audience were afraid to say anything while Sirius was tucking Harry in. Pomfrey had enough sense to change his school clothes into some pajamas.
"Well I think we should go and let these two rest." Dumbledore said. He had been silent through the whole ordeal.
The others nodded and started to get out. Ginny Ron and Hermione went to Harry's bed and whispered good bye to his sleeping form and went out.
Dumbledore grabbed Snape's still shocked form and managed to get to the door before Sirius slammed his fist into his face. That brought Snape back to the present and he turned angrily back to him. Dumbledore let him go and sighed, not wanting to step into the fight he knew would break out.
"You bloody Slytherin and conniving bastard!" Sirius hissed. "You had absolutely no right to talk that way about Lily and James and than insulting Harry right in front of him. Don't you have any self control, Snivellus? Don't you have some brains left or did your bloody potions fry them?"
Snape's face blanked and he stared at Sirius as he stood menacingly in front of him.
"Now, now Black, you wouldn't want to strain a muscle. Seeing as you're so weak at this moment." He received another punch in his gut for that remark and Sirius hurled himself at him.
"Sirius, Severus, get up! Stop acting like such children and behave!" Dumbledore finally yelled making the two stop and push each other away, hard.
Dumbledore rounded on Severus. "Severus, that was uncalled for what you did. I did not know that you had such hatred for the Potters and Black it seems bottled up inside. That hatred will corrupt you Severus if you do not let it go. How many times do I have to remind you two that what has happened between you two in the past stays in the past. You are both grown men and can think for yourselves. I do not understand why you still bicker. Please, when you are in my presence, hold it in. Now I think you'll need to brew some more healing drought and bring it up to the infirmary. Good day Severus." Snape nodded curtly and with a glare at Sirius he stalked out of the hospital.
"Sirius, you must not let him goad you like that."
"Albus, he had no right to talk about them like that. They are dead and he speaks so badly about them. James I understand, but Lily was an awesome girl I don't know why he would have something against her when she tried to protect him when they were at school."
"Sirius, Severus is a loner and when he was young he was taught never to depend on anyone else but himself, that is why he put up with all your pranks. His whole family was dark and if he did not do what they told him he would be punished."
"So. My family was the same way his was. They were all dark, there is not a single Black except me and Tonks that is light. They all turned to Voldemort like scared chickens. They almost forced me into receiving the dark mark, I escaped to James' and did not go back."
"I understand, but you must remember that Severus was young. ("And what was I? An old man?") He did not have friends so he had to learn to be able to survive without depending on other people. I hope you understand Sirius that many things Severus had gone through his life has been different from yours. You escaped your family, but Severus was surrounded by his and when he turned sixteen he was marked, right on his birthday."
"That's a nice Snape history Albus, but that still doesn't tell me why he attacked Harry and his parents."
"Sirius, James played pranks on him which he didn't like, Lily tried protecting him which he didn't like either. He did not like a woman trying to stand up for him. Than the incident with Remus as werewolf really made him despise all of you together."
"Great. So all this is our fault and not his? And he went and tortured Harry because he was James' son? I am going to kill that snake!"
"Sirius! Have you not heard anything I said?"
"Albus, he tortured Harry all these years by taunting him and taking away points from him for nothing and then making fun of him when he was standing right in front of him. I want to kill that man, Albus."
"Sirius you will do no such thing. You need to sleep and rest. It has not even been a full day since you returned. Get to sleep. Poppy may have healed your injuries, but you are still sore and need your rest, otherwise you will be cooped up in here until she thinks you are back in tip top shape."
"But Albus-"
"Sleep."
Sirius grumbled like a little child as he crawled up into his bed and muttered a couple of nasty curses at Snape, hoping that at least one of them would come true. He fell asleep before his head even hit the pillow. He did not notice Harry's slight smile as he dreamt.