Evas & Dragons: Part 1: There be goblins.
By Caligoiel
Authors notes: I am a real D&D fan and something I always wondered, what would happen if the Eva cast got introduced to D&D? Well... this is what I think would happen, Enjoy! Hehehe... The story begins after everyone has been told in private what their character is and what their goals are and we shall presume that they know the basics of the game after much patience on Kaji's part.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Italics: Kaji in GM modeNormal font: everyone else.
"The realm of Sundhesselar, a nation of vast forests and picturesque valleys with beautiful flowing rivers. A land of magic and adventure, dungeons and dragons, great heroes and terrible villains. Our adventure begins in the large metropolis of Kotoyo; a city famous for it's roast pork, magical goods and the Amethyst Tower. The Amethyst Tower stands tall in the very centre of Kotoyo and stands as a testament to the great magics that are worked there. The Amethyst Tower is a secure enclave where the most promising spellcasters come to learn and practice their art. Members of this exclusive group known as the Order of the Amethyst, sleep in the tower, eat in the tower, study in the tower and grow up in the tower. The tower is their home and family."
"But because members of the Amethyst Order are so well known and respected, they are also targets of sinister plots. All too often, those with evil..."
"Hey Shinji! Is my sandwich ready yet? You're taking for ever!"
"... intent try to kidnap or harm these gifted pupils. Today is the day when two of the Tower's most promising students are sent on their..."
"SHINJI! How hard is it to make a sandwich? I can't believe..." yelled Asuka, obviously annoyed that her hunger wasn't being sated at this very moment.
"Asuka! Do you mind? I am talking about you so the least you can do is listen," frowned Kaji.
"Whose idea was it to play this roleplaying game anyway?" grumbled Toji.
"Mine!" exclaimed Misato, "so give it a chance alright? It's a lot of fun."
"Fine..." grumbled Toji and Asuka in unison.
"Ahem, where was I? Oh yes... Today is the day where two of the Tower's most promising students are to make their pilgrimage to the dreaded Cave of Trials."
"Aww geez, that's so cheesy! I mean come on, Cave of Trials? What's next? An evil fire breathing dragon with a big hoard?" remarked Asuka.
"Come on Asuka, this is getting good. Let Mr. Ryoji finish!" interrupted Kensuke, most annoyed.
"What was that?," smirked Asuka, "fine... but first, WHERE'S MY SANDWICH!"
"Sorry Asuka," replied Shinji, handing Asuka a plate with a ham salad sandwich on it.
"About time... I was..."
"Can I continue?" frowned Kaji, "good..."
"Like I was saying... the dreaded Cave of Trials. We begin in the great hall of the Amethyst Tower where one of the promising students is being led by Tower attendants towards the atrium. Asuka, the attendant opens the door to the atrium and gestures for you to enter."
"So I am one of the promising students hm? Not a surprise, I am the great beautiful Sorceress Asuka La..."
"Stop Asuka, you can't call your character Asuka," commented Kaji.
"And why not?" questioned Asuka impatiently.
"This is a roleplaying game, you are pretending to be someone else... right?"
"Fine. I look at the attendant. I place my hands on my hips and speak to him confidently. Not a surprise, I am the great beautiful Sorceress... er... Tashia."
"Yes M'lady says the attendant as he gestures towards the door. The other pupil is already waiting in the atrium."
"Fine fine, I'll go and see who it is..." says Asuka.
"You walk towards the atrium and see a young female elf with short white hair. She is dressed in simple but quality robes."
"Greetings, I am the Diviner Rain. I am to acco..."
"WHAT?" yelled Asuka, "WONDERGIRL? WONDERGIRL IS THE OTHER PROMISING PUPIL! No way, No way in hell am I..."
"Asuka... it's not Rei. Rei is only playing the Diviner, alright?" sighed Kaji, tired from all the interruptions.
Asuka blushed and shrunk down in her seat. "Right... I knew that... anyway. So, you are the other promising pupil huh? A Diviner? What is that, someone who can tell the future and read palms?" grinned Asuka sarcastically.
"That is incorrect. I have the ability to locate lost objects, view people that are far away, and I can also tell the future using special items."
"Oh really?, leered Asuka, "so what does my future hold then?"
"I want to cast a divining spell to find out what Tashia's future is."
"Alright, you cast the spell," replies Kaji as he rolls a d20 that lands on 20. "According to your spell, Tashia shall fall at the hands of a peg legged goblin by the name of Stumpy."
"Right..." laughed Asuka, "I, the great Sorceress Tashia will die by the hands of a handicapped goblin with a name that sounds like it belongs to a rabbit or some other furry rodent? Are you sure you are meant to travel with me?"
"Yes, I am sure. I would not laugh at the matter, I have given you a warning and I am rarely wrong," said Rei apathetically.
"Pffft," replied Asuka, flicking her hair back. "So, who are we waiting for?"
"M'lady, we are awaiting your guide... ah there he is! You see before you a young man in studded leather armour with a long bow strapped to his back and a longsword at his side. He is clean shaven with short brown hair."
"G-good day M'lady, I am Adhan, forest Ranger and scout." stuttered Shinji.
"Hmmm, you're not much to look at...' remarked Asuka.
"Hmph, where have I heard THAT one before?" grimaced Toji, rolling his eyes.
"Toji, shush!" whispered Hikari, placing a finger in front of her lips.
"S-sorry, M'lady..." stuttered Shinji some more.
"Listen Ranger boy, if you say sorry ONE MORE time, I will shove a flaming sphere where the sun don't shine, and boy will it shine then, got it?"
"S-sorry..." Shinji cringed.
Asuka glared menacingly at Shinji then grinned evilly. "By my power and the power of the elements, I call upon the fires of..." began Asuka.
"Er...." stuttered Kaji, "M'lady. If you dispose of the Ranger then you will have no one to guide you to the Cave of Trials. And besides, this gentleman is good at what he does."
"What is that then? Saying sorry?" she chuckled.
"Sorceress Tashia, Ranger Adhan. I do believe that we have a long journey ahead of us. Let us leave now so that we can accomplish our tasks in the Cave of Trials."
"Right you are M'lady. I wish you good luck and look forward to your return." Kaji turned to his gaze towards the entire group. "So the two Sorceresses and the Ranger took their horses and began to ride their way to the Cave of Trials, a journey which will take a long and dangerous week. On the first day of your travel you reach the Glimmer Forest, a forest known for banditry and the occasional rabid squirrel. The sky is getting dark as the thick forest canopy blocks out much of the sunlight. Fallen twigs and leaves crack under the hooves of your mounts and their breaths create a white mist. Do listen checks."
"12," said Asuka.
"18," whispered Rei.
"5," mumbled Shinji.
"Ha, you can't even roll a die right Shinji?" Asuka smirked, finding the situation very amusing.
"Rei, you can hear the faint sounds of a battle in the distance"
"Sorceress Tashia, Ranger Adhan. I can hear the faint sounds of battle in the distance." whispered Rei.
"Oh really? Well that's your department Ranger boy. You're our guardian, so guard!" instructed Asuka.
Shinji looked uneasily at Asuka "Shouldn't we take a look? Maybe someone needs our help." he asked.
"Who cares? Our task is to go to the Cave of Trials and..."
"Suddenly, you hear a high pitched wail that quickly gets louder and louder before a small green object flies straight past you and hits a tree with a very satisfying thud. It shouts out in pain, OUCH! The little green man dressed in furs and bits or armour pulls itself of the tree and plops down onto the ground"
"What the heck was that?" asked Asuka.
"I do not know," replied Rei.
"Whatever it is, it's still alive!" exclaimed Shinji.
"Soon, you hear the sound of more high pitched chatter and the sound of clanking metal. From the forest emerges 6 more little green men, a young woman in full plate with a shield, and a young man in chainmail with a greatsword."
"In the name of Justice I command you vile goblins to surrender!" Hikari cried righteously, "I am Maia, Paladin of Light and I will end your evil ways."
"You know they're not going to surrender, don't you?" grinned Toji.
"All creatures have goodness in their hearts dear Squire. All they need is guidance in the right direction, and then they shall learn goodly right from evil wrong," continued Hikari enthusiastically. She was taking on the character very well and was obviously enjoying herself.
"The goblin that hit the tree stands up straight, but it's peg leg is still imbedded in the tree. The goblin says; You will NEVER take me alive, my minions will kill you and eat your meat for dinner! We will take your flesh and marinate it in a nice ginger sauce before roasting it on an open flame with some chestnuts and cider!"
Asuka stared wide eyed at Rei and her face grew pale. "D-didn't you say I would die by the hand of a peg legged goblin named Stumpy?"
"What? How do you know my name?"
"Oh mein Gott... ADHAN! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GUARD ME!"
"I-I will defend you Asu-Tashia!" answered Shinji
"For great justice!" cried Hikari a little too enthusiastically. She then blushed and muttered softly. "Sorry, that didn't come out right..."
"Time to shed some anger," grinned Toji.
"I predict the goblins will meet an unfortunate end..." whispered Rei.
"Alright everyone, initiative time. Roll a d20 and add your initiative mod." Kaji rolls two d20 and gets a 7 and a 16. "Ok, what did everyone get?"
"10," replied Rei, examining the figurine that represented her character.
"12," cried Hikari. These goblins are going to pay!
"20," cheered Asuka.
"Good roll Asuka," smiled Hikari.
"Naturally," grinned Asuka.
"Mine's a 9," mumbled Toji.
"I got a..." sighed Shinji, "I got a 5... is this thing broken or something?"
"Ok Asuka, you first. What do you do?"
"I jump off my horse and rush behind Adhan using him as cover, he is my guardian and all."
"Fine, you rush behind Adhan and use his body as cover, staying as close to him as you can and..."
"What? Not like that hentai! Geez, I'm going to have to shower now, touching a dirty Ranger like that."
"Stumpy pulls his peg leg out of the tree and lands on the ground clumsily. He draws his short sword and buckler and rushes behind the tree. Hikari?"
"I rush up to the nearest goblin and pet it."
"What?"
"Er... I rush up to the nearest goblin and try to convince it of the error of it's ways, my diplomacy is through the roof."
"Right... fine, you approach the goblin who looks at you with blood thirsty eyes. What do you say to it?"
"Goblin, I do not wish to harm you. Abandon your evil ways and become a contributing member of society! Set an example to your fellow goblins... attend school, get an education, find a job and live the way you were meant to. Go, go goblin and be free!!!"
"... roll diplomacy."
"I got a 15..."
"This isn't going to work," commented Toji.
"Sorry, but 15 is not going to do..."
Hikari beams widely. "So my diplomacy check is 30."
"WHAT? How? You are a level 1 character, how did you get 30 from 15??"
"Easy!" My charisma is 21, I have 4 ranks in diplomacy, I am a human from the Nevermeet region which gives a 4 bonus to diplomacy checks, and I have the Pacifist feat!"
"You're a pacifistic Paladin, how the heck are you going to smite heftily then?" asked Asuka in amazement, "we're doomed..."
"Well... uh... the goblin listens to your words intently. Tears form in it's eyes from the guilt it feels because of the evil acts it had done. It tosses it's weapons aside and jumps up and down shouting 'I'm free, I'm free!'. It runs off into the forest... happy... free... hrmm Rei?"
"I will take out my crossbow and fire at one of the nearby goblins, I roll a 12. With my mods that is a 15. I also roll 3 damage."
"Ok, you fire your crossbow at the goblin and it falls over as the bolt hits it in the chest, hurting it a lot. Toji?"
"Right then, I swing my greatsword and charge at Stumpy." leered Toji, licking his lips in anticipation.
"You will have to bypass some goblins drawing attacks of opportunity. Still want to do it? That and Stumpy is behind a tree."
"Oh yeah, never mind. I try and hit the goblin in front of me then. Damn it! I rolled a 1!"
Kaji grined evilly. "That's unfortunate, you swing your weapon but that fried chicken you had earlier left your hands all greasy and the weapon slips out of your hand and flies of in a random direction." Kaji rolls a d8 and gets a 1. "Hmmm... well, the greatsword flies out of your hand directly in front of you and lands in the middle of the goblin horde."
"Oh shit..." muttered Toji wide eyed, "... so screwed."
"It's now the goblins' turn. Goblin 1 looks at the greatsword that is right next to it and tries to pick it up, but isn't strong enough. Goblin 2 assists goblin 1 and they manage to pickup the oversized greatsword. The glare at you Toji menacingly and wave the greatsword around. Goblin 3 charges at Hikari and takes a swing at her, but it misses wildly. Goblin 4 charges at Asuka and tries to grab her.
"What, no way! No way am I going to let a goblin touch me like this, are goblins perverts as well?"
"In trying to grab you it provokes an attack of opportunity. What do you do Asuka?"
"I slap the damn thing of course. I'm not letting any little green thing have it's way with me! Crap, I rolled a 10... I missed didn't I?" cried Asuka in concern.
"That you did, the goblin grabs you and overpowers you..."
"Ha ha Asuka! You got beaten by a goblin!" laughed Toji.
"At least I didn't GIVE them my weapon stooge." smirked Asuka in retaliation.
"It's true Toji," added Kensuke, "you did practically give them your weapon..."
"When... am aye... turn'n up Kaaaajjjii?" blubbered Misato, already on her 4th can of Yebisu.
"Not yet, just wait a little longer. Like I was saying, the goblin grabs Tashia and starts to drag her off towards the other goblins. Goblin 5 charges at the paladin and takes a swing. What's your AC Hikari?"
"My AC is... 20."
"Well then, the goblin's short sword flies towards your leg but bounces harmlessly off your platemail which a first level character shouldn't have in the first place because it is unbalancing... speaking of which, how did you get the platemail?"
"Well, I am a pacifist and so I am a member of the White Knights. They provide me with a suit of platemail instead of normal armour and a weapon. A good exchange I think.
"Powergamer," coughed Kaji. "Ok, Shinji, it is your turn."
"It is? I... I draw my longsword and charge at the goblin that has taken Asuka. I roll a 20! Oh my, it's a critical! I do 20 damage!," grinned Shinji excitedly.
"Okay, you charge the goblin and slice it's arm clean of, killing the goblin instantly, releasing Tashia but also spraying her fine robes in blood."
"What the heck! Aw that's just great Ranger boy! Look what you did to my beautiful robes, they're all ruined." shouted Asuka in annoyance.
"S-sorry..."
Asuka glared at Shinji. "Kaji, it's my turn next right? Well, I am going to choke the Ranger boy for ruining my robes! Oh look, I rolled a 19, and I doubt you're going to beat that, not with all the fives you keep rolling! I wrap my hands around Ranger boy's neck and shake him back and forth. You idiot, do you know how much these robes cost me, where am I going to get a replacement out here? huh? Huh? Have you no brains, don't you ever think?"
"I... Y-you were in d-danger! I'm sorry!"
"GYAAAH!!!" roared Asuka, now choking Shinji for real.
"Right... so Tashia and Adhan are having a spat, IC and OOC... not a surprise. Ok, Stumpy the goblin is nowhere to be seen. Hikari?"
"I take my shield and smack the goblin in front of me over the head. I got a 17... er what damage do I do?"
"You're doing subdual damage, so roll a d6 and add your strength."
"Haha! I did 7 damage! Is it out cold?" asked Hikari anxiously.
"You bonk the goblin on the head with your large shield, giving it big lump and knocking it out cold. Rei?"
"I cast magic missile on the goblin I shot earlier. I do 4 damage."
"A red orb shoots out of your hand and hits the poor goblin squarely in the chest, knocking it back down on the ground and killing it. This goblin was helping carry the big greatsword so now a lone goblin is carrying the oversized weapon. Toji?"
Toji grabed a d20 and rubbed it between his palms. "I am going to charge at that goblin and grab my sword and then swing at it. I roll 14 on my disarming check.
"Great, that was enough to grab the weapon from the goblin. It looks at you with puppy dog eyes as you begin to swing your weapon."
"Tough luck pal. No one, and I mean NO ONE touches my sword and lives to tell the tale. Not a human, not a goblin, not an elf nor gnomes or halflings... especially gnomes. I swing at it and get a 14 on my attack roll and do 7 damage."
"It doesn't have a buckler so that hits. You swing the sword and knock it into the air before it lands back on the ground with a thud. It's not moving."
"Ha! That's how it should be done. Who wants some?" taunted Toji, finally getting into his character.
"The goblin that missed you Hikari moves behind you and tries to swing again. It misses though but makes a dent in your armour, that was a close one."
"Whew... I was worried there for a second..." sighed Hikari.
"The other goblin takes advantage of the fact that you are flanked and tries to shove its short sword in a gap in your armour. It is successful and you take 4 damage as your side begins to bleed. The goblin grins as you cringe in pain."
"Ah! That sneaky goblin!" exclaimed Hikari, noting that she only had 6 hitpoints left.
"M'lady! I will protect you!" cried Toji, grasping his d20 tightly turning his knuckles white.
"Shinji, it's your turn... Shinji? Asuka, get off Shinji, it's his turn!"
Asuka looked up over the table, still strangling Shinji. "What? Already?" Ok it's your turn and don't you dare hurt me if you are trying to break free, got it?" Asuka leaped off Shinji and returned to her seat, arms crossed.
Shinji sat up on the floor and rubbed his neck. "S-sure thing Asuka," he rasped. He took his seat as well and tapped the table.
"So Shinji, what are you going to do?"
"I... don't know. How can I get Asuka of me with out hurting her? I know! I will try and get her on top of me so I can flip her over my head," suggested Shinji.
"Good idea, both of you do opposed strength checks." Kaji watched the dice roll and took not of the results. "Ok, Shinji one the check so Asuka, Tashia is on top."
"Pervert..." mumbled Asuka.
"Shinji and Asuka, another strength check to see if Adhan can flip Tashia over." Kaji watched the dice once again and cringed as Shinji's landed on a 1. "Ow, that is going to hurt. Tashia has the advantage and has Adhan pinned.
"You're so going to pay for that," smirked Asuka, cracking her knuckles in Shinji's direction.
"Those of you who are watching, you catch a glimpse of Stumpy at the top of the tree. He is grinning manically and tosses his buckler behind him which hits the ground and rolls away. He grabs his short sword and leaps off the tree, sword first, towards the wrestling Adhan and Tashia. Asuka, you're character is facing downwards so you have no idea this is happening. Shinji, you can try and react in someway. What will you do?"
Shinji stared at his character sheet and exhaled heavily. He then looked at Asuka who was staring pale-faced at the miniatures on the table. "I want to try and get on top of Asu-er, Tashia and take the sword hit instead."
"Alright, opposed strength checks and Shinji needs to win." Kaji watched in anticipation as both Asuka and Shinji rolled their dice. Shinji got 11 while Asuka got 12, but Shinji's character is stronger so the final result was Asuka with 12 and Shinji with 13. "You barely rollover and get on top when the goblin lands on Adhan's back, the short sword piercing straight through for 16 damage..."
"Ack! I am on -6, I'm almost dead!" cried Shinji, mortified by Stumpy's critical damage.
"What? No one does that to my Ranger boy and lives! Stumpy you are in SO MUCH TROUBLE it's not even funny!" growled Asuka, cracking her knuckles.
"Hikari?"
"You terrible goblins, are dare you attack a woman? Face righteous fury!" proclaimed Hikari. "I will slam the goblin near me to the side with my shield. Darn it, I rolled a 3... that's not going to do it.
"Right, that goblin ducks away from your poor swing and you miss. Rei?"
"I don't want to shoot Stumpy because if I miss, I might hit Shinji... and he will die. So I will shoot the goblin Hikari missed. I rolled a 17 to attack and 6 for damage," Rei said.
"You are rolling well today Ayanami, the bolt strikes the goblin in the back and it falls over. Toji it is your turn."
"Right! I charge the last remaining goblin and hack it to bits!" replied Toji. He rolled his d20 and got a 20 then a 16. "Alright!," cheered Toji, "this is SO going to sting! I do 20 damage! EAT THIS GREEN GOBLIN SKUM!"
"You're looking good, you charge the goblin and with a swing of your greatsword, cleaving it in half splashing the area with red blood. It's inards pour..."
"Ewwww... you don't have to be so graphical Mr. Ryoji," cringed Hikari.
"Sorry, it's just part of the game. Descriptions, descriptions, descriptions. Anyway, Shinji, it's your turn. Do a stability check... oh dear you didn't make it so you are on -7."
"It's my turn and that goblin is SO going to eat dirt. I want to push Adhan and Stumpy of me..." announced Asuka confidently. "scheisse, I only got 7 for my strength check. Can I still do anything else?"
"Yes, that was a move action. You can still attack or cast a spell."
"Fine, I want to cast chromatic sphere at that stupid goblin!"
"Ok, you try to cast the spell but since you are pinned by both Stumpy and Adhan..."
"Dummkopf..."
"... you need to succeed in a concentration check, DC15. Great, you succeed in casting the spell and the goblin takes 4 damage. He is also affected by a random effect." Kaji rolls a d8 and suppresses a chuckle as the die lands on an 8. "You can hear the goblin mutter; I... can't... move.... oh... buggersticks..."
"That's what you get for messing with me and Ranger boy. Well Rain? Stumpy is down and I am still alive... so much for your divination."
"I am never wrong..." whispered Rei, crossbow still in hand.
"I'm... Stumpy Jr..."
"Oh scheisse..."
"Shinji, do another stabilization check... oh dear you didn't make it... you are on -8."
"Goodbye everyone..." said Shinji dejectedly.
Asuka quickly turned towards Shinji, eyes wide open. "Oh mein Gott! You're still dying! Stumpy Jr or whatever your name is, if my Ranger boy dies I am going to make you wish you were a girl!"
"The goblin turns and looks pleadingly at the Paladin. Kill... me... now... please! twitch"
"Sorry, I'm a pacifist," shrugged Hikari.
"Oh... arse..."
Prologue 1
"Listen everyone," began Kaji, "I am going to teach you some very important principals of D&D. The first is called the CHECK."
"The CHECK?" asked Hikari.
"Yes. When you need to accomplish something like for example... jumping a gap, you need to roll a d20 and add your ability mod and skill ranks."
The children shifted uncomfortably as Kaji continued his explanation.
"The next important one is the SAVE. You roll a d20 and add your ability mod and appropriate save. So let us say that this spider poisoned you and I ask you to do a fortitude save. You roll a d20 and add your fortitude save mod to get your fortitude save."
Toji raised his hand to draw Kaji's attention. "So let me get this straight... if you want to save against Misato's cooking, you need to roll a d20 and add your fortitude save mod to resist the effects?"
"Normally that would be correct but in the example you gave you would never be able to pass the DC or difficulty class."
"Hey!?" cried Misato.
Kaji beamed at Misato and returned his gaze to the children. "This leads me to the final principal for now, the difficulty class. The DC for a spider poison would be 10 so the average person would not have a problem making the fortitude save against the poison. Misato's cooking on the other hand..."
"Hey, leave my cooking out of this!" complained Misato.
"... would have a DC of around 38..."
"Hey, didn't you hear me!?"
"... which is high even for powerful epic characters."
"Hello? Kaji? I'm right here!" waved Misato dumbfounded.
"You know what? I don't think even the Tarrasque can make the save, and it can eat ANYTHING!"
"Mr. Ryoji..." growled Misato, her eyes narrowed at Kaji.
Kaji smiled at Misato who was now positively fuming. He noticed that the children were all shifting uncomfortably as if they had a question to ask. "Hey kids, something wrong?"
Hikari stood up and bit her lip. "Well, Mr. Ryoji sir..." she said, "we have been wanting to ask this question for a while, but we're worried that you'll annoyed with us if we did."
Kaji smiled understandingly. "Don't be silly, why should I get annoyed? Ask your question and I will answer it and put your mind at ease."
"Um..."
"Go on Miss Horaki..."
"What's a d20?"
(twitch)