See Chapter 1 for disclaimers and notes.
Van wasn't a bad partner. Deaq had had worse in his career. Like that one rookie who'd nearly gotten him killed about four times before the brass decided he needed to ride a desk or find another line of work. Then there was his first partner as a detective. "Mr. Damn, I'm so Good You Wanna be Me" was both a royal pain in the ass and a liability. The rookie had just been stupid. The second jackass had been too damn cocky and stupid.
He tossed yet another file onto the desk and picked up the next one. So far, none of their collars had been recently released. Not recognizing the name of the perp, he realized that he was getting back into cases than Van had worked with Dre while in Vice. Unfortunately, he, too, was still in prison. He sighed and tossed the file with the others.
Okay, so Van occasionally got too involved, and yes, he'd slept with a mark or two. But fact was, sometimes undercover officers did have do some pretty unsavory things at times. Poor Van just felt too much. He cared. He fell, and fell hard, for any hard luck story. Van Ray wanted to save the whole fucking world. Van Strummer, now, he knew the real score. He knew everyone couldn't be saved. He understood the criminal mind and could outplay many of them at their own game. Problem was, both of them lived in one body and were constantly at odds with one another. There he was again, turning Van into some kind of Sybil. He wondered if Billie saw Van the same way. He'd have to ask her one day, but not today. There were more important things to do today.
The files were a dead end. The people who he and Van had sent up didn't know they were cops. That would defeat the purpose of the Candy Store. And the people who Van had busted when he was in Vice wouldn't know about the Candy Store. "This is a waste of time, Billie."
"I know. I'm coming up empty on the hotel's employees. Why don't you start on the employees of the bar?"
He nodded and picked up the list of names the bar's manager had given him. They had to find something. The alternative was not acceptable.
They were a good team, most of the time, he and Van. Van was a good partner—that one little shooting Deaq in the ass incident aside. He bet Van wouldn't have pulled that little stunt with Dre. Dre would have kicked his ass, but good, for that. He smiled a little at the thought. He knew Dre. His brother would have adopted Van quickly. From what his father had said, that was exactly what had happened. Van was the little brother who Deaq had refused to be for so long. A tinge of jealousy twisted in his chest for just a moment, then was gone. His lack of a relationship with his brother was his own fault, and Van had needed Dre. Dre had probably needed Van, too. After all, Deaq was finally admitting to himself, he kind of needed Van. Van was a good partner. He'd already said that, but he was a good friend, too. A good brother, if one was in need of one. In Dre, they had both lost a brother. Maybe it was fate that they found a new brother in the other. God, that was so sappy. Yet so true, he realized. When had it happened exactly? When had the weird, hyper, surfing, white boy become so damned important to him? Did it make a difference? He had become important, and that was all that really mattered.
Van couldn't die. He just couldn't. Deaq needed his brother. How could he have ever thought differently?
Resolved, he turned his attention back to the names in front of him. One of them could be responsible for trying to kill his partner. He typed the first name into the police database and began his search.
At the end of his search, he'd been feeling pretty hopeless. Then Van had shown up. So much for staying in the hospital. He should never have believed that Van would sit on the sidelines. It just wasn't Van—either Van. Van Ray couldn't not do something, and Van Strummer was too pissed off not to do something. So pissed off that even with his own life hanging in the balance, he wanted a way around giving in to this bastard. The phone call seemed to solidify his resolve. Van wanted no part of a prison break for Vinnie Jax. He insisted they find another way. So they began looking.
Later, as they drove to the pub to find Jax's cronies, he watched Van rub his temples and take long deep breaths as though he needed the extra oxygen just to live. Vaguely, he wondered which Van was going to be up front for this. Deaq examined his partner. Quiet, but not still. His hands fluttered as though he was trying to grasp onto something intangible. The face was a mixture of stress, anger, and fear. It was hard to tell.
When they walked into the pub though, Van Strummer was in full force. The sarcasm gave him away even before the confrontation with Baldy. Then as Deaq watched in horror as his normally "let's talk this out" partner tried to poison their unwilling snitch, shoving a bottle of cleaner into his face and almost down his throat, he knew. He saw with a new clarity just how far Van Strummer would go to save Van Ray's life.
If that didn't scare him badly enough, when Van started bleeding, Deaq's heart nearly stopped. Van admitting that he was not okay was yet another shock. They had to get out of there. They had the information they needed, though it wasn't good news by any means. They made it to the parking lot before Van collapsed. Deaq managed to catch him before he hit the pavement.
Billie freaked and did something Deaq would never have expected. She started babbling. Deaq struggled to catch a few words here and there. Hospital was one of them, and then she was apologizing to Van, over and over. What she was apologizing for was only clear enough to understand once. She'd apologized for calling him her bitch.
She was almost no help at all getting him into the car, despite the fact that she kept insisting that they hurry and get to the hospital. Part of Deaq wanted to scream at her to pull herself together, while the other part of him wanted to fall apart along with her. Deaq finally got Van into the front seat and let the seat back. Billie climbed into the back and leaned over Van like a mother bear protecting her cub. Deaq ran around to the driver's side, all the while calculating how far Cedars-Sinai was from their location. He glanced over at his partner as he cranked the car. God, this made it real. Van's unconscious form was too lifeless, too still. As he slammed the car into reverse, he swore he would never tell Van to be still again.
He remembered the horror of realizing that he was bleeding and the awful pain in his head. He remembered the look on Deaq's face when he told his partner that he was not all right at all. He remembered leaving the pub, but he didn't remember getting into the car. He knew that's where he was, though. He could sense the movement. Someone was stroking his hair, too. Who the hell could that be? Surely not Deaq. If it was, man, was that scary or what? Dre, okay, Dre would do that. But Deaq, never, not in a million years. His brain wanted him to open his eyes and see who it was. His heart wanted to just relax and let it happen, not worry about who, or even why, but just revel in it. It was nice. It would even be nicer if his head wasn't pounding, but beggars couldn't be choosy. Why was his head hurting anyway? Oh yeah, the same reason he'd been at that pub at four in the morning. He was dying. He'd been poisoned. Shit. How much time did he have left anyway? To find out, he'd have to open his eyes. Well, his brain wanted to know who was being so nice to him, so he might as well.
"Billie?" He would have been astonished had he had the energy to be so.
"Oh, thank God! Van, we're taking you to the hospital. Just hold on," she told him.
"No. The Candy Store," he insisted as strongly as he could.
"Van, no, you collapsed on us. You need to be in the hospital!" Deaq was agreeing with her.
He had to make them understand. "Please, don't make me go back there. Don't make me wait there to die."
He heard Deaq swear and saw Billie bite her lip in frustration. They looked at each other then, and Van witnessed the decision being made. He sighed in relief when Billie stroked his hair once again and nodded.
Van closed his eyes. Keeping them open was just making his head pound again. Sleep overtook him fairly quickly because the next thing he knew, Deaq was helping him out of the car at the Candy Store. His partner led him straight to the white couch and put him down there. Van was not of a mind to argue with him either. He desperately wanted to lie down. He knew he couldn't stay that way; he had a bad guy to catch or else he would die, but at the moment, he had to rest. He felt, rather than saw, Deaq sit down near him because he had already let his eyes drift shut again. He didn't know where Billie had gone.
"Listen, V, um, look, I'm sorry about, you know..."
Great, not a subject he felt like broaching at the moment. Maybe he could pretend to be asleep again.
"I mean, I understand that you're mad. Hell, I'd be mad too, but I'm asking for forgiveness, man."
The sleep act was obviously not working. Right now, he didn't want to forgive. Right now, he just wanted to be left alone. He nearly laughed at the direction of his thoughts. Earlier, he'd wanted nothing less in the whole world than to be left alone. Now, he wanted nothing more. He just didn't have the energy to be gracious. "You hung up on me. Three times, man. God, am I that much of a burden for you? Do I bother you that much?"
"No, V, dawg, I'm so damned sorry. I was being an ass, okay?"
"Yeah, you were. Sorry I ruined your 'van-cation.'"
"I'm sorry I ever said that, Van. That was harsh. I just—"
"Needed to get away from me. Gee, that makes me feel so much better. I just wanted a chance to talk it all out and apologize, get back to normal. I know the case was bad, and I know I wasn't the most pleasant guy to be around, but neither were you, Deaq." Jesus, he thought, I was wrong. Van realized that he didn't have the energy to be mad. Gracious would have simpler. A simple "I forgive you," and he could have had a little peace. "Look, I can't talk about this right now. My head hurts, damn it. Please, just leave it alone. If I live, we'll talk about it later. If I don't, then I'll forgive you in the afterlife. Okay?"
Silence. He finally opened his eyes and tilted his aching head to look at his partner. Deaq gave him a chagrinned half-smile and a nod, and Van closed his eyes again. There, it was shelved for the time being. Time being, he thought bitterly, time being short.
"The headaches are probably due to the high blood pressure, Lt. Chambers. He really needs to be here where we can at least try to support him."
Billie frowned into the phone. Why didn't Grant tell her something she didn't know? "But you still don't know what he was poisoned with, right?"
"Right, but we can use drug therapy to lower his blood pressure and painkillers for the headaches, that kind of thing. Maybe we could even deal with any other symptoms that arise until the poison is out of his system."
"You said that wasn't likely, though. That's what you told Van."
"Well, yes, it is unlikely. But we could at least try if he was here. Truth is, many poisons don't really have direct antidotes. There are things that counteract the symptoms, ways we can limit damage, that sort of thing in the case of those types of poisons. However, some, such as derivatives of natural toxins like venom, do have direct antidotes, and if it was one of those we won't be able to save him without knowing what it is."
"Doctor, I'd love for Van to be in the hospital, but he doesn't want to be there, and quite frankly, we need him in order to save his life. I know that doesn't make sense to you, but there it is. As soon as it is possible, I will drag him in there by his hair myself. In the meantime, how can we keep him functioning?"
"He needs rest. As much as possible, he needs to be somewhere quiet. He needs to be still. He needs to avoid stress and exertion."
"What about Tylenol or aspirin?"
"No, until we know what he's been given adding drugs without medical supervision is a bad idea. If he gets another nosebleed or passes out again, you're just going to have to bring him in. Lieutenant Chambers, he could be in danger of a stroke."
"Shit," she muttered, running one hand through her hair.
"Yeah. Also, look for labored breathing, seizures, other pain anywhere. Right now, we don't even know what, besides his blood pressure, is going to be affected. Anything at all changes with him, get him here as fast as you can. Whether he likes it or not."
"Thanks, Dr. Grant." She hung up the phone and stared out at her men. Deaq sat hovering over Van, staring at him like he was going to disappear at any time. Van was motionless. He might have even fallen asleep. The doctor's words had set her heart to racing. Van was running out of time. She still had things she needed to say. Screaming incoherent apologies at Van while he was unconscious didn't count. She needed to him to hear those apologies. He needed to hear them.
She got up from her desk and made her way to where he and Deaq were. She opened her mouth to begin those apologies, but Deaq raised one hand to stop her.
"I think he's sleeping," he whispered.
She nodded. "Unfortunately, we can't let him sleep for long. You know we're going to have to break Jax out of prison. It's the only way, since Jax doesn't seem to have much more time than Van."
Deaq leaned back in his chair and shook his head. "I'd give anything if I could say you were wrong, but I can't. Now we just have to convince him." He pointed to his partner.
"We will. I will. I'm going to get started on the plans." She walked away without waiting for any reply.