Author's note: Well, this is Chapter 13 and I have had over 100 reviews. Time to take stock…
I never thought that I would enjoy writing this story quite so much, and one of the reasons I enjoy this greatly is because of the feedback I have received.
Thank you, everyone, for your reviews. I am especially grateful to those of you who review more or less every chapter. To me, this is like an ongoing mental conversation, confirming what I am doing, suggesting new avenues and possible improvements.
If suggested alterations or improvements are 'in-character' for the characters as I have thought them out, and do not conflict with the story line, I try to accommodate them, but not all suggestions can be incorporated like this. But they still give me food for thought, and may be feed into future stories.
The next chapter will take a bit longer before it is posted because I am away for about a week, and will not be able to post before I return.
And now to the story …
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Chapter 13 – To Make A ChoiceEstel woke up early the next day. It was a strange feeling to wake up in his own bed with Legolas sound asleep at his side. Estel lifted himself up to look at Legolas' face. The elf looked impossibly young and vulnerable, laying on his back with his eyes glazed over with sleep. And yet Estel knew that there was also a steely determination and great strength. If Legolas, son of King Thandruil, was determined to achieve something, it would take a lot to divert him from his path. Estel gently brushed some of Legolas' blond hair away from his face, and kissed him softly on the mouth. This woke Legolas, whose eyes focused. He smiled at Estel.
"Good morning, Estel. Have you rested at all?"
Estel nodded. The previous night, he had laid awake tossing and turning, trying to decide whether to go with the rangers or not, when there had been a gentle knock on the door. Legolas. They had talked for most of the night, about Legolas' conversation with Elrond, about their plans for the future, and about the options they had as a couple. In the early hours of the morning, both had been so emotionally and mentally drained that both of them dropped to sleep in Estel's bed of without any attempt of intimacy.
"Yes, but I feel still drained." It was unusual for Estel to admit any weakness; he always strove to be as strong as the elves he grew up with.
"So do I." Legolas sat up, and this admission was even more unusual. The prince's appearance showed that he spoke the truth. He was paler than usual and there were dark circles of exhaustion under his eyes. The previous day and night had been very difficult for him.
"But still, it is time to get up and get something to eat. We will probably feel better for it, we missed the evening meal yesterday. And then I will be glad to go to the seamstresses and collect some of my new clothes. I am tired of tired of wearing Elladan's, as much as I appreciate it that he let me borrow them!" At that comment, both young people smiled.
Estel encircled Legolas from behind with both arms. "Let's not yet get up. There is something much nicer I would like to do first." Without much resistance, Legolas turned into the embrace.
Some time later, they got up, had a wash and got ready for the day. They made it for breakfast just in time, but both the twins and Elrond noticed how tired they looked. Elrond just shook his head, these two had deserved better than having all these worries at the moment.
Over breakfast they talked about how they would spent the next few months. Elladan and Elrohir were to return to their normal duties that included a regular rota of patrols, much like Legolas had to do in Mirkwood. Estel normally helped Elrond with collecting herbs and preparing nmedicines, and if needed, he would go out on patrols as well.
All of them trained with a range of weapons regularly, and went hunting to fill the cellars if the need arose.
Elrond wanted to keep his promise to Thandruil. He suggested that Glorfindel would assess Legolas' fighting and leadership skills and would then assign him whatever duties he saw fit. Beyond this Elrond insisted that Legolas attended negotiations with delegates from other races and elven communities. Rivendell had many contacts with the outside world, and Elrond was often asked to resolve disputes between men and elves, or even different groups of men. His wisdom was widely acknowledged. He was a fair judge, but also a cunning negotiator. Elrond knew that Legolas had not encountered many delegates from other races before, and that experiencing a wide variety of people would be a benefit to him when he returned home to his father's court.
Legolas was not looking forward to these sessions but decided that it would be both unwise and discourteous to object to this suggestion.
They agreed that Legolas should first collect his new clothes with Elladan, and then see Glorfindel. The others would take up their normal duties after this morning.
So, after breakfast, the older twin and Legolas made their way back to the seamstresses. Legolas' tunics and leggings were ready, made from the materials he had asked for, but his ceremonial robe was not yet ready. Legolas slipped into some of his new clothes with considerable relief, and thanked the seamstresses for their work.
"These do look better on you than my clothes." Elrohir smiled. " They did not fit and the colours were all wrong for you!"
"Thank you, Elladan, that is just what I needed to hear." Legolas gave the twin a friendly nudge.
"Legolas?"
"Yes? What is it, Elladan?"
"What is wrong? Both you and Estel look exhausted this morning. Have you argued?"
Legolas was touched by Elladan's concern. "No, not at all, on the contrary, we spent much of the night talking. Much has happened yesterday… I suppose you do not know yet, but there is no harm in telling you…" And Legolas told Elladan everything that had happened the previous day and night.
Elladan listened intently and then spontaneously embraced Legolas, a rare impulsive gesture for the older twin. "I am so sorry, Legolas .. for you and Estel." Words failed him. Their eyes locked and held for a moment.
"Thank you, Elladan."
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Later that day, Glorfindel as the captain of Rivendell's warriors assessed Legolas' weaponry skills. During previous stays in Imladris, Glorfindel had already had some indication of Legolas' skill with the bow but he now decided to test him properly. Despite his thousands of years of experience, the elf lord was impressed. Rarely had he seen such talent with the bow, and never in someone this young. Legolas also excelled in using his two knifes.
It was equally obvious to Glorfindel that the young prince did not like using the sword. He was competent in using it, but lacked enthusiasm and a 'feel' for the weapon. In body build and training, Legolas was an archer, not a sword fighter.
Glorfindel paired Legolas with a number of different partners for unarmed hand-to-hand fighting. The young elf had obviously received expert training in this area. Of medium height for an elf and slight in build, at times he should have struggled to overcome much stronger opponents. But training and experience had taught him to use natural agility and speed to overcome this limitation.
Altogether, Glorfindel was very impressed, but also saddened. Legolas' warrior skills were outstanding, but in someone so young this meant he had seen far more battles and skirmishes than he should have in his life. Growing up in Mirkwood had marked the young prince.
For the next day, Glorfindel organised a one-day training exercise. He wanted to get some measure of Legolas' leadership abilities, and this could only be done by watching him in a leadership role with others.
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Estel had spent most of the day trying to collect a list of herbs that Elrond had given him, and then had spent some time practicing archery with his brothers. By the time the evening came, he felt much better. The physical exercise had distracted him from his worries and he was now looking forward to some weeks of relative peace and quiet. For now, he was at home, doing the things which he liked to do best, and Legolas was here as well.
Legolas, too, felt much better in the evening than in the morning. Despite his mental exhaustion, he had enjoyed the physical exercise. Although Glorfindel had not said much, the archer had the feeling that he had lived up to expectations, or had perhaps even exceeded them. He was now looking forward to a few weeks with Estel here in Imladris, where he now felt accepted and welcomed.
The evening meal was a much less subdued affair than the breakfast had been. Normally the entire household took meals together, as far as possible. These meals were taken in the Great Hall in the house, and afterwards people often wandered over to the Hall of Fire to enjoy dancing, singing and music.
This was what happened this evening, everyone, including Elrond and his advisors and Glorfindel, moved to the Great Hall. Instruments were tuned and used, songs and ballads were sang, and occasionally someone played a dance tune. Legolas and Estel sat together in a deep couch, contented and comfortable with each other's company. Estel put his arm around Legolas' shoulders, and pulled him close. This was his home, and now that his family had accepted Legolas, he was much less worried about showing his affection towards the prince. He would have liked to kiss him but that, he felt, went to far in public.
After some time, Elrohir came up to Legolas and asked him to sing a ballad to the lute. Legolas reluctantly agreed, he did not want to move out of his comfortable position against Estel's side. But he felt that as a guest he could not refuse. Elrohir was quite surprised; he had had not seriously expected Legolas to agree. He knew that the Mirkwood prince could play the lute, but he had not heard him sing and did not know whether he could sing. But if his harp play was anything to go by, the younger elf was a good musician.
It was not the first time Legolas would sing in public, but he had never enjoyed these occasions, and here most people were near strangers. But as a prince he was too well raised to refuse, so he accepted the lute that was handed to him and chose a well-known ballad for recital.
When he started the room grew quiet. At first, his voice was hesitant but then the notes rang pure and true. Legolas had a clear, strong tenor voice, and a good memory for tunes and words. When he finished, it was silent for a few brief moments and then there was enthusiastic applause and requests for further songs. Many in Imladris had seen the young prince throughout the years but up to this summer he had never participated in any gathering and few had expected the quiet, reserved prince to be able to sing so well.
But Legolas declined further requests and handed the lute back to Elrohir, asking him now to present a ballad. Elrohir nodded, and began another tune. He, too, had a fine voice, and soon the room was silent again. After that, someone else played a dance tune, and then there were more songs and dances. Estel and Legolas danced with each other, enjoying the intimacy of it.
After a while, by unspoken agreement, they excused themselves, both being too tired to stay up any longer. On the way back to the house, Legolas said:" Perhaps things will not be so bad after all. I enjoyed tonight."
"I have enjoyed this evening as well. I wish you would sing more often, you have a good voice."
"You know I do not especially like to sing in public. Good night, Estel." Legolas briefly hugged and kissed Estel, being too tired for any other show of affection.
"Good night, Legolas. See you for breakfast."
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After the training exercise the next day, Glorfindel approached Elrond about the role Legolas was going to have in Rivendell.
"He is more than ready for a small command and has commanded small groups of warriors in the last two years. I believe he should have his own patrol."
"You are the captain of the guard. If you think he is ready for it and the other warriors will follow him, there is no reason why he not be entrusted with this role. It would be good for our warriors to serve under him, and to get to know him. My foresight has told me that there are many battles yet to come here in Middle Earth and Legolas is the only heir of the Elven King. He may well have to play an important role for the future of these lands."
With this response, the matter was settled. Legolas became the leader of a small group of warriors, and his group was given a changing schedule of guard and scouting duties, just like the other warrior groups of Rivendell.
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Later that day, Halbarad and Tharamir arrived in Rivendell. Elrond inspected Tharamir's ankle and declared it completely healed. There was a joyful reunion between the rangers, the twins and Estel and Legolas. After the two rangers had a chance to recover from their travels, Halbarad and Elrond with withdrew for a private conversation in Elrond's study.
Halbarad reported to Elrond in more detail than his sons, Estel and Legolas had done. They talked through the patterns of orc sightings, and what this emerging pattern might mean. Elrond had a suspicion, but he wanted to talk to Mithrandrir before he revealed these thoughts to others.
Then the conversation turned to some of the events that had happened along the way. Halbarad recounted some of the incidents, and then asked Elrond directly whether Estel was Aragorn, Arathorns son. Elrond admitted this readily.
"Elrond, you know I deeply respect you and your friendship. But I am very concerned that Estel – Aragorn – has grown up with extremely limited knowledge of his people. Does he know who he is?
Elrond sighed. "Halbarad, I have lived a long time but I am not infallible. We took Estel in as an infant, and he grew up here, amongst us. There always seemed to be time to deal with his human heritage later. I should have introduced him to human customs when he grew up, but it would have made him feel even more of an outsider than he already felt because he is mortal. And then, one day he had reached his majority and I had to tell him. And I admit my own failure here because Estel was completely unprepared for this, and even now I think he has not accepted his heritage completely."
Both were silent for a while, and then Halbarad said:" His relationship with Legolas complicates the matter further. By the Valar, why did he have to get himself into a relationship barely out of childhood!"
Elrond replied dryly: "I am sure Thandruil agrees with this sentiment on Legolas' behalf."
"Do you think there is any chance of them growing out of it? This type of relationship is just not acceptable amongst most men, with us rangers it is not so much of a problem, we see much and are not prone to rash judgements, but amongst other men ..."
"Halbarad, you have just spent several months with them. You have seen them together. Do you think they will grow out of it?
Halbarad silently remembered Estel and Legolas together throughout their journey. In his mind he saw that shy smile that Legolas seemed to have reserved for Estel alone, his tenderness towards the young human, they way he would always make sure that Estel was cared for before himself. He remembered the day when Estel gave Legolas the ring and the protectiveness Estel had shown in the Prancing Pony. No, this was not a relationship likely to falter.
"No. Unless they are separated by others, I do not believe they would part."
"They have always been fairly discrete. Others will have to accept them. I do not say that it will be easy for them, but, like you, I cannot see either of them ending this relationship soon. They have been together for too long now, and what may have started as youthful physical attraction has long ago changed into something much deeper."
"Halbarad, I know that Estel needs exposure to humans. I have already talked to him about this. I would like him to go and live with your group for an extended period of time, perhaps even a few years. He must learn more about humans, and you are his kin."
Halbarad nodded slowly. He would take the boy gladly although he had no doubt that it would be a big adjustment for him.
"I would take him gladly, you have raised him well, Elrond. He is a nice, well-mannered lad, and very good with the sword. I was also impressed with his tracking and healing skills. You have taught him well. But how did Estel react to this?"
"He sees the sense of it but is frightened of leaving here. Rivendell is the only home he has ever known. He also knows that going with you would mean at least a temporary separation from Legolas. I know they have talked about this, but I do not know what Estel has decided."
"If Estel agrees, I would be happy for him to join us in the spring."
After the conversation, Elrond called Estel and Legolas. He told them about the conversation with Halbarad and asked them what they had decided. It was Legolas who answered:
"We have decided that Estel should go. We both know that he does not know enough about humans."
"Estel?"
Estel said nothing but just sat with his head hung, looking at his knees. He slowly looked up and met his foster father's eyes.
"I know with my mind that I should go. But my heart tells me not to. I fear that when I come back I will be no longer Estel but might have become Aragorn, the ranger. I will loose my family and my friends, and perhaps even you, Legolas, will like me no longer. I am afraid of how I might change, of what I might become."
"Oh Estel! You will always be my son, regardless of how much you change and which name you bear. Do you not know that a father's love has no conditions? I love you like my own children, there are no strings attached. The same goes for Elladan and Elrohir, for them you will always be their brother. Do not fear that you will loose our love and friendship, for you will not."
Legolas had quietly laid his arm around the hunched shoulders of the young human, pulling him close. He simply said: "You should know by know that I love you no matter what happens. I do not care what name you use and how much you might change, because I know that deep down you will always remain the same Estel whom I met all these years ago."
"Then I guess I should go." With a deep sigh, Estel resigned himself to his fate. He looked at Legolas, who was still holding him. With a sad smile, he turned into the embrace and said: "We will find a way, Legolas. We have to."
And so it was decided that in the spring Estel would leave to live with the rangers and Legolas would return home.
TBC. Please review !