Author's note: Thank you, everyone, for your reviews. Every single one is appreciated!
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Chapter 15 – To Make A ChoiceA few days later.
Legolas' current patrol duty came to an end. The five warriors only had a few more hours to wait and then their replacement unit would arrive, and they could return to Imladris. The last three days had been cold and wet, but uneventful. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
All of a sudden, Alnirion, one of the dark-haired Imladris archers, called out. "Legolas, there is a rider coming near! He should be here within the hour!" Legolas climbed the tree the other warrior was occupying, and saw the approaching figure as well.
"It is Mithrandir!" The prince recognised the grey beard and pointed hat of the wizard. He had known Gandalf, called by the elves Mithrandir, all his life.
"You know him?"
"Yes, he is one of the Istari and has been around occasionally at my father's court. Unfortunately he often brings bad news. I hope this will not be the case now."
When Gandalf approached their location, Legolas simply stepped out behind a tree. The wizard knew the guards were in the area, even though he had not been able to see them.
"Mithrandir. Welcome in Imladris." Legolas gave a small formal bow, but he smiled with the gesture. He liked the wizard and was glad to see him.
"Legolas Thandruilion! What are you doing here with the Imladris guards?"
The wizard immediately recognised the young elf. This face was distinctive, flawless even for an elf. And yet, something was different about him since they had met last. After a moment, Gandalf realised what the difference was. It was the smile, he could not remember ever having seen Legolas smile in Mirkwood. And yet, here he was, clearly enjoying the arrival of this unexpected guest.
On seeing Legolas' face, the wizard dispensed with all formality. After all he had known Legolas since birth. The Istari dismounted and gathered the elf in a tight embrace. He had expected Legolas to endure this gesture, rather than to enjoy it, but was surprised to find that Legolas' arms closed around his back. The wizard wondered what had brought Legolas to Rivendell and what had happened to break the defensive walls of reserve and aloofness that the young prince had always displayed before. He was sure he would find out.
Legolas did not immediate respond to the question asked by the wizard, but said:
"Our duty here ends every moment when our replacement patrol arrives. Would you care to wait here with us and then return together to Imladris, or would you like to carry on without us?"
The wizard was in no particular hurry. There were things he needed to discuss with Elrond, but they were not of immediate urgency, and there might be a chance for talking some more with Legolas on the way.
The warriors returned to watching the area whilst the wizard settled down at the base of a tree with a pipe. After a couple of hours, the replacement unit arrived, and Legolas and his fellow warriors made their way back to Imladris. Gandalf rode slowly with them.
He repeated the question he had asked Legolas, and the Mirkwood elf explained that he had had travelled with the twins, Estel and the rangers, only to find that the passes had closed on their return."
Gandalf looked at the archer. "You have changed, Legolas. I hardly recognise you."
"Have I really changed so much?" The elf looked slightly incredulous. "I suppose living here has changed many things for me. But in the spring I will have to return to Mirkwood. I have missed my father, but I do not miss living in Mirkwood. Well, that is not really true. I love our realm and our people, but …" The young archer paused, slightly at a loss of words. "Here I can lead a normal life as a warrior, without constantly being reminded that I am a prince. But my father wishes me to return home in the spring."
Momentarily unguarded, Legolas' face betrayed the turmoil of his emotions concerning the future. It was only a fleeting moment, but the wizard saw the expression. *There is something more to this than you are telling me, young one*, he thought. *And I will find out what it is. *
For a while, Gandalf told Legolas about some of his travels. Legolas asked whether the wizard had been near his home, but Gandalf had not been. So there was no news from Legolas' father.
The light began to fade, and afternoon turned into evening. It was after dark that the five elves and the wizard arrived in Imladris.
Elrond welcomed the wizard warmly. Whilst the elf-lord was greeting him, the wizard discreetly watched Legolas. He had made sure that the horse was cared for and had then been met by a dark-haired young elf, who enclosed Legolas in a tight embrace.
The wizard unashamedly watched the two young people. For a moment the wizard thought they would kiss. There was so much affection in their faces that the wizard had no doubt that these two were lovers. Gandalf was surprised, Legolas was very young to have a partner, and the other one looked younger still. At second glance, Gandalf thought there was something odd about the other young elf, and then he knew: This was not a young elf but a young human. And with that thought, he recognised the young man. It could only be Aragorn, called Estel, Elrond's foster son.
Gandalf had been to Imladris since Elrond had adopted Estel, but on several occasions he had missed the young human. He only had seen Aragorn twice. The first time he had met Estel, the boy had been about five human years old, a shy, serious child with an unruly mop of dark curls who refused to speak Westron. At the time Elrond had commented on this, the elf-lord told the wizard that the child refused to speak or to learn the human language because he did not want to be "different." Gandalf's response had been that he thought the boy would grow out of this. The wizard briefly wondered whether he had been correct.
The second time the wizard had met the boy, the child was a few years older and had grown into an agile boy moving with near-elven grace, who had not yet reached the awkwardness of human adolescence. Estel had asked endless questions about wizards and magic, until Elrond firmly told him to leave the wizard alone. Gandalf smiled at the memory.
After greeting Legolas, Estel turned to the wizard. Slightly hesitantly he said: "I do not know if you remember me … I am Estel…"
Gandalf warmly smiled at the young man. "Of course I remember you. How could I not remember all these questions that you asked me as a little boy?"
Estel blushed, he did not like to be reminded of his childish impoliteness.
Gandalf looked at Estel for a moment. He saw that the child had grown into a handsome young man with regular features and sparkling grey eyes. He wore his long dark hair in a single braid that fell down the middle of his back.
Elrond said to Legolas: "Legolas, get yourself washed and changed for the evening meal, we see you in the Great Hall."
Legolas grinned. "Is this a hint? Do I need a wash so badly?" Elrond smiled. "Get on with it – just have a look at yourself!" Legolas looked down at himself. His clothing was rather muddy after three days in the forest, and his hair, face and hands were none too clean, either. With a rueful smile, he answered: " Maybe I do…"
Gandalf was amazed at this exchange. From everything he knew, relationships between Elrond and Thrandruil were frosty, but if this friendly banter was something to go by, this did not extend to Thandruil's son.
Legolas turned to go upstairs, Estel followed. Gandalf looked at Elrond. "How long?" He looked at the elf and human disappearing up the stairs. "Several years."
Gandalf sighed. This was evidently something that needed to be discussed with Elrond later. "Legolas has changed."
Elrond nodded. "Yes, he has. He has lived here now for the better part of a year. He has been here many times before with Estel but to my shame I have to say that until this summer no one here, including myself, made the effort to get to know him. I only saw him as Thandruil's son, a most undesirable partner for Estel. Legolas fell ill with some food poisoning this summer and during this time he let his guard down, or was forced to do so by feeling poorly. It made me realise how young he still is, and that I had never given him a chance. Since then, Legolas has almost become a part of our family, and has opened up to an extent that I have never thought possible."
"I wonder what Thandruil would say if he saw his son here."
Elrond looked at the wizard. "I am not certain I really want to know. Estel and Legolas should have some carefree time together, they will be separated after the winter ends. Estel will leave to live with the rangers, and Legolas will return to Mirkwood. Estel must learn more about humans, this has become very evident this summer when they travelled with the rangers."
"Well, that explains why Legolas was so guarded talking about the future."
"Gandalf, I'll take you to your room and leave you in peace until the evening meal. Will you stay until the Midwinter Celebration?"
"I have no plans to go elsewhere. I would enjoy remaining here. It is peaceful in Imladris. Elrond, there is much we have to talk about, but not tonight."
Elrond nodded. He had expected that much. The wizard usually brought news, unfortunately not often good ones.
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In the meantime, Legolas had gone to his room and had asked for his bath to be filled. He quickly undressed and stepped into the warm, scented water. With a sigh of relief, he sank into the tub, immersing himself as completely as possible. Travelling three days through wet, wintry forests was not the most comfortable of duties. He closed his eyes and relaxed. After what appeared a very short time, he became aware of soft footsteps. Without looking, he knew who this was. He just felt too relaxed to open his eyes. He heard a few small noises, and then felt a soft kiss on his mouth. Estel was kneeling besides the tub and said gently:
"Sit up so that I can wash your hair."
With a groan, Legolas opened his eyes and sat up enough for Estel to reach his hair. The young man had already got some herb tincture in his hands, which he now rubbed gently into the elf's long blonde hair.
"I like doing this."
"I know you do. I like when you do it." Legolas leaned back again and closed his eyes, enjoying the movements of Estel's hands.
After a while, Estel said with a smile: "Your hair must now be the cleanest hair ever. Let me wash the soap out. Duck under." Legolas did as he was told. When he came up again, Estel held out a big towel.
"Come out. It is almost time for the evening meal."
"How about you getting in?" Legolas grinned and gently pulled at Estel's long braid.
"I would love to, but not tonight."
Sighing, Legolas climbed out of the now merely lukewarm water. Estel embraced him with the towel and began to rub him dry. He could not resist letting his hands wander somewhat.
Legolas gave him a playful slap. "Don't do that, or we will be definitely late for dinner."
And with these words, the elf took the towel and finished drying himself quickly. After dressing in fresh clothes, he brushed his damp hair and left it unbound to dry.
"Let's go."
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When they arrived at the Great Hall, Elrond, the twins and Gandalf were already sitting at the table. Legolas and Estel quietly slipped into their seats, just in time for the meal to begin.
Whilst they ate, everyone talked about the events of the day and general friendly chit-chat ensued. This gave Gandalf time to watch Legolas and Estel more closely. It amazed Gandalf how different Legolas seemed when he did not feel the need to appear to the world in his role of a prince. The prince was still slightly flushed from his warm bath, his eyes sparkled and his light hair fell freely over his shoulders. The young elf looked happier and more relaxed than Gandalf had ever seen him, or had ever expected to see him. He was engaged in an animated conversation with the twins and two other elves, whose names Gandalf did not know.
Estel at his side did not have the startling beauty of the young elf, but in his own way he was very attractive. With his dark hair, fair skin and grey eyes, he resembled the Noldor elves whose kin he was, and yet his humanity gave him a different, more robust and less ethereal kind of beauty. The wizard wondered whether the young man had any idea how many stares he and Legolas attracted, and by no means all of these were for the elf.
Elrond noticed the wizard watching Estel and Legolas. He realised that Gandalf had seen Estel last as a child – it did not seem to be that long ago – and that the wizard had probably never seen Legolas outside his home environment. And Elrond suspected that the time away from Mirkwood had changed Legolas greatly, or perhaps better to say that it had allowed him to become much more the person he really was. The elf-lord had no doubt that Legolas would find readjusting to living at home difficult.
The meal came to an end and everyone moved to the Hall of Fire for some dancing and music. The rest of the evening gave Gandalf ample opportunity to watch Estel and Legolas together, and to see how they interacted with others.
Gandalf and Elrond spent much of the evening talking, exchanging news. At a pause in their conversation, Gandalf nodded at Estel and Legolas, who were standing with a group of other elves talking. "Have they bonded?"
"No, Thandruil will not have it, he fears for Legolas. And of course Estel's future is yet undetermined."
The wizard looked somewhat concerned. "I can feel the bond between them. They may not have formalised it, but the bond is there, acknowledged or not. This relationship cannot be broken without great grief. It should not have been allowed to come to this."
"I know. I tried to talk to Estel over many years, to no avail. He is formally an adult, and so is Legolas. There was not much that could be done to prevent this. I have thought about this much, and I now feel that I have no right to deny another's happiness. My foresight is limited, I do not know what the future holds. For now, I am content to see these two being happy together."
Gandalf nodded. He had spoken with Galadriel in Lothlorien and knew what she foresaw for Aragorn's future. This relationship was a complication.
Elrond changed the topic. "Gandalf, have you seen Arwen recently? She writes occasionally but I have to admit I miss her greatly and would like her to return to Imladris."
"I have seen her. She is well, and enjoys living in Lothlorien. I do not believe she would return to live here but perhaps she would come for a visit. I think she misses you and the twins more than she realises. If you asked her, I am sure she would come to visit."
Elrond's face saddened. He turned slightly away from Gandalf. "I do not know whether she would come. We did not part on good terms."
"I know. She is much like you, that's why you clash. Do you mind telling me why she left?"
Elrond hesitated. This was very personal, private. On the other hand, Mithrandir was an old friend. "After Celebrian left to the Undying Lands, I was alone for many years. When Gilraen came here with her baby, I came to care for her. I doubt that she ever knew, her heart had been given and she never recovered from her grief. But Arwen noticed, and felt I had betrayed her mother. She accused me of being disloyal, and left. I cannot tell from her letters whether she has forgiven me."
Gandalf put his hand lightly on the elf-lord's shoulder. "Elrond, children have to learn that parents have needs, too. Celebrian left, and you never truly loved her. You were companions, nothing more. Your bond was primarily a political alliance, not a love match, and when she left you had more than fulfilled your duty to her, and she to you. I have never felt the type of bond between you and Celebrian that I can feel between Estel and Legolas. It is an almost tangible emotional connection. You never had this with Celebrian. You raised your children together and spent many years as companions. But when she left, this commitment ended, both on her part and on yours."
"There is nothing for Arwen to forgive, Elrond, you have done nothing that needs forgiving. It is tragic that Gilraen did not realise what you could have offered her. She was still young for one of Numenorean blood and could have spent many happy years with you. Arwen has matured somewhat herself, and the distance should have helped to allow her to see you as a person with your own needs, rather than her parent only. If you asked her for a visit, she may well come."
Elrond nodded. Speaking to Gandalf, he realise how much he missed his daughter. He would write to her and ask her to come and visit, perhaps during the coming summer. With that thought, he looked around and realised that the evening was drawing to a close, with people drifting away. The twins, Estel and Legolas had already disappeared, so Elrond and Gandalf also bade their farewells for the night.
TBC. Please review.