Author's note: Again, many thanks for your reviews. Well, for this chapter I should probably give a serious tissue warning.

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Chapter 18 – To Make A Choice

Estel was blissfully unaware of what was happening in Imladris. He and the twins had had a successful hunt and were now slowly returning to Rivendell, taking their time. They did not hurry, there was no need for it and all three knew that in the next few years opportunities for trips together would be very limited. So they enjoyed the time together, laughing and joking on the way, teasing each other. Early in the evening, they stopped and lit a small fire. They cooked some of their meat and settled down for the night, splitting the watch between them. Even though they were near Imladris now, they did not want to be surprised by anyone or anything and set a watch.

Elladan drew the first watch, leaving Estel and Elrohir to rest. The hours passed swiftly, Elladan spent much of the time pondering the future. He would miss Estel greatly, the young human had been a feature in his life for over twenty years, and he had come to care greatly for his adopted brother. But he anticipated that Elrohir and himself would go out with the rangers again, they had done so in the past and once Estel had settled with the rangers, they might be able to join them on occasion.

Elrond had told Elladan already that he and Halbarad had agreed that at least for the first year, Estel should have no elven companions, so that he would have a chance to adjust to the rangers' way of life by himself. Elladan looked at his sleeping human brother. He would miss him a lot.

Elladan's thoughts wandered to Legolas. He had come to like the Mirkwood prince greatly. Once he had started to open up, the younger elf had turned out to be a considerate, thoughtful companion who could be trusted in any situation, but who also was not above some fun. And he was a formidable warrior. He, too, would be missed in Imladris. Elladan wondered what the future would bring for Estel and Legolas. He did not doubt that they would find a way to stay together. The older twin had seen and felt the connection between them, he knew in his heart that these two would go to great lengths to maintain their relationship.

Later, Elladan woke Elrohir for his watch. The younger twin's thoughts wandered on similar paths as those of his brother. But Elrohir mentally added that if anything ever went wrong with Estel whilst he was with the rangers, he would be there as fast as possible, never mind any agreements between his father and Halbarad. Elrohir had always felt fiercely protective of his human brother, he had no intention of letting him out of his sight completely. Elrohir knew that it was also this protectiveness that had led him to reject Legolas for such a long time. The younger twin was grateful that he had had a chance to change his mind, as he had come to like Legolas. He knew that Elladan was closer to the prince, they were more compatible in personality. And yet, they all had spent many enjoyable hours together over the last year, and Elrohir regretted the pain that the upcoming separation would cause for both Estel and Legolas.

Elrohir did not wake Estel for his watch but let him sleep. His brother would be annoyed in the morning, but there would be few opportunities to spoil him in the near future.

Early in the morning, Estel did wake, up, and true to Elrohir's prediction, he was annoyed by not having woken up.

"Estel, don't you understand? I do not try to treat you as a child, but I wanted to do something for you. There will not be many opportunities for this soon. Why would you deny me this pleasure?"

Estel looked at his brother. Usually there was a hint of mischief in Elrohir's grey eyes, but now they were locked into Estel's with a serious expression.

Estel sighed. He should have expected this – Elrohir had always been overprotective.

They broke their fast with some Lembas bread and then slowly made their way towards Rivendell. They would arrive in the afternoon.

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After a considerable while in the branches of the tree, Elrond and Legolas made their way into the house. To Legolas' relief, there was no sign of Gandalf.

When they were passing Legolas' room and he was about to open the door to withdraw for the night, Elrond said: "You should not be alone tonight. Come, I do not believe that I will sleep this night, I will work in my study and you can keep me company. Would you like to do that?"

Legolas hesitated. He really did not want to bother Elrond more than he had already. But on the other hand, Elrond had guessed correctly, the last thing he wanted to do was to spend long hours of the night pondering his fate.

So Legolas agreed and whilst Elrond worked on the details of some trade agreements, the prince settled with a book in an armchair in the corner. Not surprisingly, he could not concentrate on what he was reading, so after a while he gave up and watched Elrond whilst he was working. The elf-lord was facing Legolas, but looked down on the paperwork in front of him. His hand with the quilt was moving steadily from left to right, covering the parchment with regular, fluid handwriting.

The younger elf felt completely drained. He found Elrond's regular hand movements mesmerising, and after a while he dropped of into fitful sleep, slouched back in the chair with his legs stretched out in front of him.

Some time later, Elrond noticed that Legolas had gone to sleep, and smiled. He had hoped that the emotionally exhausted prince would do just that. He got up and quickly got a blanket that he spread over the younger elf, stopping for a moment to look at his guest's face. Relaxed and eyes glazed over in sleep, Legolas' youth and beauty stuck Elrond yet again.

For a brief moment, Elrond wondered what it would have been like to raise Legolas as a son. Probably not always easy, and yet hugely rewarding. He wondered whether Thandruil had been able to make the time and effort to appreciate his son. Legolas was so different in personality from Thandruil, and yet there were commonalities, an iron determination and an unwavering sense of duty not the least of them.

Elrond had no doubt that Thandruil's and Legolas' relationship was difficult, and that the younger elf felt at times stifled and dominated, whereas Thandruil was trying to protect his son. Legolas would have to return to his home soon, and time would tell whether Legolas' stay in Imladris had had any impact.

With his thought, Elrond returned to his work. He worked until he fell asleep on his paperwork, not an infrequent occurrence.

A few hours later, Legolas woke up, with a stiff neck and back from the uncomfortable position he had been sleeping in. He was grateful for the blanket that Elrond had put over him. He got up, and then realised that Elrond himself was sleeping at his desk. With a pang of homesickness he remembered how often he had found his own father just in such a position. He took the blanket and spread it over Elrond, who did not stir. Then he made his way to his own room for more comfortable sleeping arrangements.

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The next day, Legolas spent largely trying to keep out of everyone's way. He expected Estel to return either on this day, or at the latest, the following day. When he heard a commotion late in the afternoon, he guessed it was the twins and Estel. He made his way to the courtyard, and indeed, there they were. Laden with meat, laughing and joking. They had clearly enjoyed themselves. 

As they arrived, Estel's eyes searched for Legolas, hoping to see the young elf. Legolas stood quietly in a corner, his expression unreadable. When Estel's eyes met his, his face lit up. Estel immediately sensed that something was not quite right. Normally Legolas would have come forward to welcome him, but instead Legolas stayed in the background as they greeted Elrond and saw to their horses. The twins noticed the difference as well, they had often witnessed Legolas and Estel greeting each other.

Elladan said: "Estel, give me your reigns. I'll see to your horse. Go and greet Legolas. I can tell something is not right with him." Estel looked at his brother gratefully. "Thanks, Elladan." The young man quickly slipped of his horse and went over to Legolas. They embraced, and Estel lost no time Legolas what was wrong.

"I will tell you in the garden. Estel, I am so glad you are back!" In a rare public show of affection, the young elf slipped his arm around the human's waist and pulled him away.

Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other. "I wonder what was that about?" Elrohir voiced both their concerns.

"They have much to talk about." Elrond's comment caught them unaware. They had not noticed that their father was also watching Estel and Legolas. "I am sure that they will tell you all about it later."

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Later that evening, Estel and Legolas were sitting on Estel's bed. They had talked for a long time about everything that had happened. The arrival of the Mirkwood warriors, the confrontation with Gandalf, and Legolas' impending departure. Legolas had also told Estel how his foster father had supported him, and how grateful he was for that support. He then continued:

"Estel, I have promised a swift return after you have come back. I do not think I will be able to delay any further than the day after tomorrow."

"So soon?" Estel looked shocked. Then he sighed. They both had known this was going to happen, perhaps swift farewells were better than long drawn out ones.

They decided to spend this evening with Elrond and the twins, as it was the last opportunity for them to do so. Tomorrow would be their last evening together, that time they wanted to keep free for themselves.

Somewhat to everyone's surprise, the evening turned out to be lively, rather than morose. The twins had convinced Elrond to join them in a board game that involved selling and buying stalls and market rights, and they were setting up when Legolas and Estel came to join them. This was a game that Estel particularly enjoyed, and it was a game that worked better with a larger number of players. So the decision was taken quickly for all of them to play together, and the evening turned into a time of much fun and laughter, as Estel won more and more of the tokens and everyone else ended up paying him more and more as they moved across the board. Elrohir run out of money first, followed swiftly by Legolas. Elladan and Elrond came to an agreement but even jointly they did not have sufficient tokens to offset Estel's wealth. At the end of the evening, Estel was the clear winner.

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The next day came and went too swiftly. It was filled with Legolas' travel preparations and many farewells. Legolas had become popular in Imladris over the last year. He knew many people and the warriors had accepted him as one of their own. There were many farewells to be said. Rinirion and his companion were amazed. They had always perceived Legolas as a reserved, aloof and uninvolved prince, here he smiled and joked with the warriors and was obviously well liked. Rinirion made a mental note to tell King Thandruil everything he observed.

Legolas also exchanged a few words with Gandalf. Gandalf repeated the promise of support that he had made to Elrond, but he did not apologise for his harsh words. In his opinion, he had spoken a necessary truth. Both the elf and the wizard realised that it would take a long time for the prince to trust Gandalf again fully, a fact that the wizard acknowledged silently with regret.

In between all of this, there was not much time for Estel and Legolas to spent together. Estel had asked his father not to make a big event out of Legolas' leaving, he felt neither of them could cope with it. But Elrond had asked the cooks to produce Legolas' favourite foods, which of course included winterberry tarts, for the evening meal.

When the time for the evening meal approached, Legolas was just finishing his packing. He had closed the last bag. His room looked odd. After having been 'his' room for almost a year, all his personal belongings, mainly clothes, but also a few books that Elrond had given him, had been either packed or would go into storage for future use. He was only able to take two small packs, since they also needed provision for the journey. Legolas had been quite surprised how many things had accumulated in one year – several sets of clothing, several books given by Elrond, a game that Elladan and Elrohir had given him, a spare quiver – in addition to the weapons he had brought when he came.

The evening meal was a quiet affair, with both Estel and Legolas eating little. Elrond regarded them with sadness Legolas smiled when he saw the dessert, and even though he did not really feel like eating, he admitted that he enjoyed the tart very much.

After the meal, Estel and Legolas excused themselves. They would see everybody in the morning before Legolas' departure. Estel had asked Legolas how he wanted to spend their last evening together, and the prince had suggested a walk to all their favourite places in Imladris.

They walked together for several hours, mostly in companionable silence. What needed to be said, had been said. It was sufficient for them to be in each other's company. They walked with their hands interlinked, or with their arms around each other's waist, enjoying the closeness and comfort. Finally, they chose one of their favourite spots overlooking the valley, and sat down to watch the stars, simply holding each other.

"Legolas, the life of a ranger is a dangerous one. If I should not return one day, I would like you to know two things. I love you more than I can tell," with these words Estel kissed Legolas briefly before he continued," and that I would like you to find happiness again. Do not fade for me, remember me and cherish the memories of our time together, but I would want to see you happy again."

"Estel, I do not know whether I can promise you that. I, too, love you more than I thought I was able to love anyone. I do not know what would happen if you died. I do not wish to think about it." With these words, Legolas took his turn kissing Estel, a sweet, lingering kiss that lasted.

"I will miss you terribly."

"I know." Estel looked at Legolas face, faintly illuminated by his inner elven glow.

"Legolas, I am afraid of going with the rangers. I know so little about men, I do not wish to leave here or to leave you. But the choices have been made."

Legolas gently pushed a strand of dark curly hair out of Estel's face. "You will adjust, I am sure of it. Trust in yourself. Estel, we will see each other again. I know this in my heart, this cannot be the end. I love you too much for that."

After a while, they walked back to the house. It was almost dawn when they arrived in Estel's bedroom. Quietly, they undressed and got into bed. They made love, gently, each trying to give the other as much pleasure as possible, each trying to memorise as much of the night as they could. Afterwards, they held each other close until the first rays of the sun broke over the ridge. It was time to get up and face the day.

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Legolas and the two Mirkwood warriors were ready to depart. Their belongings were packed and tied to the horses. Estel, Elrond and the twins were standing nearby to say good-bye.

Legolas turned to Elrond first. "Thank you. For everything." He smiled at Elrond, although he could not hide the sadness in his eyes.

"You are always welcome here, Legolas Thandruilion. Have a safe journey. I hope to see you soon again." Elrond stepped forward and enclosed Legolas in a brief embrace. The two Mirkwood warriors followed the exchange with amazement.

Legolas turned to the twins. "Elladan, thanks for having become such a good friend. I will miss you." They, too, hugged briefly.

"Elrohir, don't get your brothers into too much trouble! Or at least, until I return and you can tell me all about it…"

"I will try. Legolas … have a good journey." Elrohir smiled at the prince and briefly clasped his arms.

"Thank you."

Estel had so far stood slightly to a side, watching Legolas' farewells to his family. Now Legolas turned to him. Their eyes locked, and they moved towards each other at the same time. They embraced briefly, but did not kiss. They had said their good-byes, neither of them wanted to draw out this painful parting.

Estel said very quietly: "Do not forget that I love you. Remember me."

"I love you too. You know that." Legolas let go of Estel and turned to his horse. With one fluid movement, he was on top of his mount. He bent down and gave Estel one last kiss.

"Be careful. Come back to me." With these words he gave the sign for departure.

Estel watched the three riders until he could not see them no longer.

TBC.  Please review