Author's note: Thank you, everyone, who reviewed. It is lovely to get as many reviews as I got for the last chapter.
Several of you asked for more detail of Estel/Aragorn's adaptation to the rangers' way of life. Bear with me, there will be more.
This chapter is somewhat shorter than the previous ones but it is pretty much a self-contained 'chunk', which did not lend itself to being combined the next chapter, which will follow quickly.
Thoughts in '..' rather than …, the new document manager on ff.net does not accept the stars.
Heavenly Angel: You should be able to format in the new document manager on ff.net.
Chapter 20 To Make A Choice
Next evening.
King Thandruil hesitated. What he was about to do was wrong, and he knew it only too well. And yet, he told himself, he just wanted the best for his son.
Thandruil had been looking for Legolas to discuss how Lasgalen could be best defended against the increasing numbers of orcs and spiders. He had knocked onto Legolas' door and there had been no response, so he walked into the room. Legolas was not there, and Thandruil remembered that his son had said he would go for some archery practice in the evening.
Thandruil was about to leave the room, when several pieces of parchment on Legolas' desk caught his eyes. Normally Legolas did not deal with much in the way of paperwork, so the king's curiosity was aroused. He took a step nearer and saw that one of the parchments was a rolled-up message, several pages long, which had Legolas' name written on it in an unfamiliar handwriting.
There was only one person who was likely to write a message of such length to Legolas. He wondered what the human wrote to his son and picked up the message. At that moment it hit him that what he was about to do was a breach of trust that could affect his already strained relationship with Legolas greatly, if the younger elf ever found out. Feeling pangs of guilt, he nevertheless took the parchment and opened it up.
Dearest Legolas
…
Legolas, I miss you more than I can say. Everything. Your smile, your face, hearing you laugh, talking to you, joking with you, holding you, making love with you …
'How does he dare to speak like this of my son!' Thandruil thought angrily on reading the first few lines. Despite his resentment, he was surprised how literate and fluent the Sindarin of the letter was, Elrond had taught the boy well.
I still feel very much that I am a stranger amongst these people…
'Pathetic. He cannot even fit in amongst his own kin.'
When Halbarad collected me, he insisted on a few what he called 'ground rules'. ….
Thandruil recalled Estel's face and briefly wondered what the boy would look like with his hair cut short in human fashion and in ranger's clothes. Much more like the mortal he was, of course, but there had been no denying of this anyway.
But the most difficult thing for me is the language…. It is such hard work to think and speak in a foreign language all the time!
Thandruil had never given this any thought, and he stopped in surprise. Yes, Estel - Aragorn's first language was very evidently Sindarin; he had never heard the young man speak anything else.
And then the food…
'He cannot even eat his own people's food. Why did Legolas had to fall in love with someone who is mortal but has lived as an elf, unable to fit in with either? '
Then there was a long paragraph on the rangers' way of life that Thandruil skipped. It held no interest for him.
Legolas, I am worried that when we see each other again, you will not like what you find.
'I hope this very much. If Legolas sees your mortality clearer he may come to his senses and be done with this folly.'
… You know what I miss most of all? Waking up with you in the mornings, feeling you close to me….
'What?' This meant that either with or without Elrond's knowledge these two had shared a bedroom!'Thandruil was furious.
…I love you more than words can tell.
'The presumption of this mortal! How could he claim to truly love an elven prince, not one of his own and above him in rank and station? '
Not once did it occur to Thandruil that, arguably, Estel could even be considered to be of higher rank and station than Legolas.
Thandruil carefully rolled up the parchment and replaced it. He was furious about the presumptuousness of the young human, and was deeply concerned by the closeness that the letter reflected. Somehow, this needed to be stopped. It appeared that so far, distance had done very little to dim the affection that the human held for his son.
The king's gaze fell onto a second parchment neatly folded next to a quilt. Now without any compulsions, Thandruil unfolded the sheet.
Legolas' response. This did make him hesitate. This was a personal letter from his son, an entirely different matter than reading a message from the mortal. And yet, curiosity and anger won.
Dear Estel,
Yesterday I received your letter. I cannot tell you how happy it made me! I miss you everyday and every hour.
It is the small things that I miss most about you being away, such as braiding your hair or you holding me, going for a walk together, talking. The list is endless, I cannot express how much I miss you. It is like a great hole inside that only you can fill.
It sounds as if you find living with the rangers quite hard. I am not surprised, you have lived all your life as one of us and there must be dozens of differences between the way mortals live and the way you have lived in Rivendell. Do not worry about changing yourself, Estel, I will always love you no matter how much you change on the outside. Yes, I regret that Halbarad cut your hair, I have always liked it the way it was, but in the end it does not matter. Neither do your clothes or if you decided to grow your facial hair – although there is not much of that anyway at the moment!
Estel, I trust and believe in you. One day you will know where your path lies, and I will be there to walk along side you. It is quite hard to get rid of me once I have made a commitment!
It is as difficult with Father as it has always been. Or perhaps more so even, since I have seen this summer what a family could be like. I have never been so acutely aware of what I do not have. I have no doubt my father loves me, but he does not see me, he sees an image of what I should be.
You are fortunate in that your father does not ask anything of you for loving you, he just accepts you for who and what you are. My father does not, and I have not yet succeeded in living up to my father's expectations.
I cannot remember ever being happier than in the last year. I miss you greatly, but I also miss the twins and your father. On more than one occasion I have not only wished that you were here but Elladan and Elrohir as well. We could have much fun together here, Mirkwood has still much to offer, even if the evil is encroaching.
Since my return many things here have changed. The two years away have really helped, and believe it or not, Rinirion has helped me greatly. He spread the word that I had been trained by Glorfindel and had led patrols for him. This was as good an recommendation as I could get, and I am now on normal patrol duty, much as I was in Imladris. I still have to work for being respected as myself, rather than the prince, but it has become easier. I think also many of the younger warriors have realised that they cannot taunt me without repercussions, I am faster than almost all of them and I have learned a few things from Glorfindel's training which I will not share unless I need them. I have got three warriors in my unit, and we get on well – after they had accepted that my fighting and woodcraft skills are at least equal, if not better, than their own.
Estel, I will send this to Rivendell and hope it will find you well. I, too, miss you more than I can say.
Legolas.
After having finished reading Legolas' letter, King Thandruil felt both extremely angry and shocked. The letter also many questions in his mind. Was this how his son saw him? And how unhappy Legolas must have been here in Mirkwood! What had happened in Rivendell? What had Elrond done to earn Legolas' affection? It was obvious to Thandruil that his son liked the Lord of Imladris and his family. He never had had this feeling before, so something must have happened in the last two years to warrant this feeling.
The depth of feeling towards Estel that the letter showed also shocked Thandruil. The king felt both hurt and annoyed by Legolas' words. He had always thought that his son knew he loved him. How could Legolas compare his father to Elrond? And yet, beyond the initial anger and hurt, Thandruil also realised how little he knew his son. The king held his son's letter in his hand for a long time. Legolas had grown into a respectable warrior, who had made his own friends and had chosen his lover, and he as his father had never really made an effort to see his son for the person he was.
It was a very pensive Thandruil who refolded the letter and carefully returned it to its place.
TBC. Please review