Chapter 31 – To Make A Choice

Legolas and Estel spent the remainder of the morning exploring the elven city. It was much larger than it looked at first glance, and they enjoyed the opportunity to spend time with each other, just to wander around, with no particular aim. When the midday meal approached, they returned to the Hall, where they also met Elrond, Halbarad, Arwen and the twins. Neither Estel not Legolas had seen Galadriel or Celeborn since their first meeting.

During the meal, banter flowed easily. Elrond watched his daughter carefully and mentally he confirmed Elrohir's suggestion. Arwen had fallen for Estel, but she was quite discrete about it and Estel was blissfully unaware of the impression he had made on his foster sister.

Suddenly Elrond saw Haldir approaching. The marchwarden was dressed ready for travel, he wore his cloak and weapons. He came up behind Legolas, who became aware of his presence and turned. There was an odd expression on his face that made Elrond wonder what happened between the two elves. Haldir said something very quietly to Legolas, who hesitated and then nodded.

"Excuse me for a few moments." Without further explanations, Legolas moved his chair and got up. He followed Haldir outside. Elrond noticed that Estel regarded the two with a slight frown. 'Well,' Elrond thought, 'Estel would have to be blind or completely insensitive to have missed the tension between these two.'

Outside, Haldir and Legolas stopped. They looked at each other for a long while. Then Haldir sighed. "Legolas, I have to go on patrol duty now. I will not return for several weeks. I do not know whether you will still be here when I return. I wanted to give you something to remember me by ... just in case something happens. We are both warriors after all."

He pulled out a small wooden box, not larger than the palm of his hand. It was intricately carved with the shapes of mallorn leaves, and inlaid with silver.

Legolas gasped. It was beautiful, and, he suspected, quite valuable as well. "You cannot give me this, Haldir! This is too much1"

Haldir smiled a sad little smile. "Yes, I can. I made it myself, and I want you to have it."

Legolas marvelled at the level of craftsmanship displayed in the ornate design of the small box. "Haldir, I ...," he began, at a loss for words. The older elf simply laid a finger on Legolas' mouth. "Don't," he said, "I know. Open it."

Legolas opened the small box. Inside he found a small parchment. There were a few lines in a small, regular handwriting:

May you always find your path.
May the wind be in your back.
May the sun shine warm on your face.
May the rains fall soft upon you.
And until we meet again,
May the Valar protect you.

Legolas looked up. There was so much unsaid between them, and yet both knew that no further words were needed.

"Farewell, Legolas, son of Thranduil. Be happy." Haldir smiled that sad little smile again. He very gently touched Legolas' cheek, and then turned to leave.

"Farewell, Haldir of Lorien." Legolas' voice sounded choked. Haldir did not turn again.

-o-o-o-

Estel wondered where Legolas had gone, and after a while he, too, gave his excuses and left the hall. Outside, he found Legolas, holding something small in his hand and looking very upset.

"What is it? What has Haldir done to you?" Estel asked concerned.

With a visible effort, Legolas pulled himself together. "He has done nothing. He is going on patrol duty and might not return before we leave. He has just given me this."

Legolas showed Estel the little box, and its content. The young man looked at Legolas. "He cares for you." And then, with a slight frown, "What do you feel about him?"

Legolas did not answer the question. He looked at Estel, unable to keep the sorrow out of his voice. "He gave his farewell and told me to be happy." Estel looked at Legolas for a long while, and then embraced him tightly.

-o-o-o-

Suddenly there was a commotion nearby. Thranduil and his party had arrived.

All other thoughts momentarily forgotten, Legolas and Estel went to meet the elven king.

Thranduil arrived at the head of his party. All of the Mirkwood elves looked tired and dirty, some of the warriors were injured. It looked as if they had not had an easy journey. Thranduil's first thought was to look for Legolas. Where was his son?

But the instant the thought had occurred to him, he saw Legolas. With one swift movement, the king dismounted and strode to his son. They looked at each other for a moment, then Thrandruil smiled and opened his arms to embrace Legolas. In that moment, he did not mind displaying his affection for his son in public. Legolas did not hesitate, and father and son stood for a moment in a tight embrace.

"Father!"

"Legolas! I have missed you. "

The king and his son smiled at each other.

Then Thranduil turned to Estel. He had had much time to think over how he was going to react to the young man. He had realised that even though he had seen the mortal semi-regularly for more than a decade, he knew very little about him. The elven king had admitted to himself that he had not even bothered to look truly at Estel, the knowledge that he was mortal had always been sufficient to condemn him in the king's eyes.

So when he released Legolas, the king turned and took a good hard look at this young man, who had captured and held his son's heart for all these years.

He saw a slim young man with clear grey eyes and dark wavy hair that was tied back in the neck. His features were sensitive and carried only the barest shadow of facial hair. There was no sign of body hair either on the bare forearms of the youngster or in the open neck of his tunic. Thranduil had to admit that the young man was handsome, in a more robust way than an elven male would be, but nevertheless attractive. He wore simple dark leggings and a maroon short-sleeved tunic, undoubtedly of elven make. But the most surprising feature about him was that he did not shrink or flinch from the elven king's gaze, but held it.

After a long moment, Thrandruil gave himself an mental shove. He had decided that he wanted to see Legolas as happy as possible, and if that meant to try to accept Estel, at least for the time being, he would do so.

"Greetings, Estel Elrondion." Thandruil saw the surprise on the young man's features, as he bowed to give the formal elven greeting.

"Many thanks, and my greetings as well." Estel's voice was deeper than an elf's but still melodious. Estel had a fairly pronounced Rivendell accent. Thranduil had always avoided meeting and seeing the young man when he came to Lasgalen, and, bar brief formal greetings, had in fact only heard him speak very few times.

Thandruil saw the hesitation on Estel's face, before the young man asked:" It looks as if your journey was not trouble free. Can we be of assistance?"

At that moment, Galadriel and Elrond arrived. They exchanged greetings, which were decidedly cool. Thranduil held his mental barriers up – he did not want to be scanned by Galadriel. Galadriel frowned, but did not comment.

Elrond took in the state of Thandruil's party and said. "You need to rest, have some food and your injured need to be seen to. We will show you were you will sleep and so that you can refresh yourselves and have some food. Legolas, would you please take your father to his talan? Estel, please settle this warriors and see to their injuries."

Legolas and his father made their way to the talan reserved for visiting dignitaries. On the way, Thranduil told his son what had happened on the way. The elven party had had great trouble with spiders when they cut through the south-eastern corner of Mirkwood to reach the old forest road.

"We need to so something about this, Legolas. The old forest road is no longer safe. We were eleven experienced warriors, and we struggled. The shadow of Dol Guldur has grown strong. This situation concerns me greatly – there is a danger that Lasgalen cut be cut off. We cannot defend all the outlying villages of our people if this threat remains unchecked."

Legolas looked at his father. This was serious news indeed. His proud father would not admit weakness if there was not a serious danger.

But currently the king smiled and said: "And how about you? How did you spent the time since you left last autumn?"

Legolas told him about the time in Imladris, Estel's slow recovery and how much he had enjoyed spending this time with Estel. He neither embellished nor omitted their commitment to each other. He then told his father of the journey to Lorien and his accident. His father was shocked.

"How could Elrond let this happen!" Concern turned to anger.

"Father, it was an accident. No one could know that the cave was unstable, and Elrond did warn us to be careful. I was, but it still happened. It was simply an accident. Elrond did everything he possibly could to heal me. There is no damage left." Mentally he added, 'at least physically.' But he would not tell his father about his nightmares. At least not yet.

Thranduil sighed. Unfortunately, accidents did happen, and there was no point in blaming another. There was also an other issue here.

"Legolas, you have seen much of Elrond recently. Tell me, what do you think of Elrond?"

Legolas did not hesitate to answer that question. "I like him greatly. He is very caring and will always try to do what he thinks is best for others. Over the last few years he has been like a father to me, and has helped me through some hard times ... when things were difficult between us ..." Legolas stopped. He did not want to reproach his father.

"I know, Legolas. I have made many mistakes, but I, too, tried to do what I thought was best for you."

"Elrond and I used to be friends. He saved your mother's life once. But after the War, when so many of our people had died under his command, I could not forgive him for that."

"Father, they probably would have died under someone elses command as well..."

"Perhaps." Thranduil did not sound convinced. "Maybe."

They had arrived at the foot of the staircase they needed to climb. Legolas changed the topic. "I have been told that there would be a banquet of the day of your arrival and that the council would begin the following day. Mithrandir has not yet arrived, and has not left a message, so we do not know when or if he will arrive."

"The Istari come and go as they please." Thranduil sighed. He was not overly keen of the wizard but he recognised his wisdom and knowledge.

They climbed up the stars and Legolas left his father to refresh himself after the long journey. He went in search of Estel, but meet Elladan on the way instead. "Elrohir and I would like to practise with our weapons a bit. Do you want to come along?

Legolas hesitated. "Elladan, thank you for the offer. But your father was told me not to strain my arm and I am quite sure weapons training would classify as 'straining'. I did too much with Haldir yesterday already."

Elladan nodded. "I think my sister has taken Estel for a walk, you may not see him for a while. Don't you just want to come with us?"

Legolas looked slightly concerned. He had seen how Arwen had looked at Estel, and, despite his inexperience with elf maidens, he was certain that she had feelings for Estel. But then he scolded himself. 'Who am I to judge her – after what happened with Haldir? Estel will have to set the boundaries. It is up to him.'

"Yes, I will come with you. My father needs a bit of time to refresh himself, and there is still time until the evening meal."

- - - - In the mean time, Estel and Arwen had gone for a walk. It was a beautiful afternoon. They had not intended to go far but their surroundings were peaceful and they much enjoyed each other's company. Arwen asked Estel many questions about his childhood and adolescence, she still found it hard to believe that the awkward child she had seen last a few short years ago had grown into this attractive young man. She also discreetly asked about Legolas, and Estel was more than ready to tell her about the beginning and development of their relationship.

To Arwen, all he said confirmed what she already knew from her dream: There was a deep bond between Estel and Legolas, formalised or not. And as Estel talked, Arwen felt her own feelings growing. He talked of Legolas with affection, and although Arwen felt small pangs of jealousy, the respect and love that Estel held for his partner, raised her opinion of Estel even more. For one so young and lacking in years, especially by elven standards, Estel had already gone through much hardship, but neither he nor Legolas had failed each other.

They carried on and eventually climbed the slopes of a grassy hill, which was covered in golden elanor and the pale niphredil flowers. There were also two circles of trees; the outer trees had white bark and the inner trees were the gold-leaved mallorn. They had arrived at Cerin Amroth, where King Amroth had lived.

Both Arwen and Estel felt the dreamlike quality of the place, elven power seemed to be especially strong, time having no meaning. Estel and Arwen sat together at the edge of the trees, the hours passed. They did not speak much. At some stage Arwen slipped her hand into Estel's. He looked at her in surprise but did not object, he was too content to disturb the peace of the afternoon. So they sat there, hands linked, until the sun was setting. Then Estel broke the silence.

"Arwen, I think we need to return." Estel looked at their linked hands. "Why did you do this, Arwen?"

"Can you not guess, Estel?"

Realization dawned, and Estel looked at his foster sister with shock. "You cannot feel that way about me, Arwen! I am your foster brother, and also I love Legolas, I would not be untrue to him."

"I know," said Arwen, "and I respect you for that. But since the first time I saw you here, I have had feelings for you. I do not know where they come from since I hardly know you. But I cannot deny them."

"I am sorry Arwen, because I will not be able to return these feelings." Estel's voice was gentle, and he softly touched Arwen's face. "You are beautiful, Arwen, and I like you greatly, but as a sister, not a lover. I am sorry for causing you pain."

Arwen shook her head. "Don't be. The Valar have their own plans for both of us. Only time will tell where they will lead us."

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Note: Poem adapted from an old Irish blessing.