Chapter 32 – To Make A Choice

Evening had arrived and the banquet had begun. Galadriel and Elrond were surprised not to see any sign of Thandruil. Finally Elrond approached Legolas. The younger elf looked his very best. He wore a simply cut, dark blue tunic made out of a silky material, embroidered with silvery thread at the neck and sleeves. With that, he wore matching leggings made from the same material and a silver belt. The entire outfit was understated and yet it emphasised Legolas' fair features and slim body.

Elrond briefly wondered who had helped Legolas choose this clothing, he knew very well that the young prince was indifferent to his clothing and appearance. Which was, Elrond thought, one of the things he liked about Legolas. For someone who had grown up at Thranduil's court, Legolas was surprisingly unaffected by appearances, but perhaps this was also the effect of having learned very early that many, if not most, people were only interested in his appearance, not the person behind it.

Elrond approached the young elf. "Legolas, you look stunning." Elrond smiled at the young prince. Legolas blushed deeply. Elrond continued: "I hope Estel appreciates your efforts... I am sure he does."

"I hope so. Elladan chose these clothes for me and said he thought that Estel would like them."

Elrond thought that his son certainly had good taste. "Legolas, I have not yet seen your father. Perhaps you should go and check that there is no problem."

Legolas nodded. "I will have a look and see what he is doing."

Legolas quickly made his way to his father's talan. Much to his surprise, everything was dark as he approached the platform. He had at least expected a small lantern, most elves would leave a small light for their return before going out. He gently knocked on the door, and since there was no reply, he went in.

Everything was quite dark, but as soon as his eyes adapted, he noticed the form of his father laying on one of the beds, still in his travelling clothes, but without his boots. He was laying on his back, eyes unfocused, lids heavy. This indicated his level of exhaustion. The trip to Lothlorien must have been even more tiring than he had admitted.

Legolas quickly lit a small lantern, expecting that his father would wake up. But Thranduil simply mumbled something and turned away from the intrusive light. The prince sighed. He disliked the thought of waking his father, who obviously needed the rest. But a king had to appear to the banquet laid on for his welcome. There was no way out of it, Legolas would have to wake his father.

Legolas glanced around. The king's travel pack was yet unpacked and after a brief hesitation, Legolas opened the bag and took out Thranduil's formal clothing. There were only two robes that were appropriate, and the young elf chose one, and a matching tunic, leggings and soft boots. He laid them out, together with his father's golden circlet. He also found his father's wash kit and set it aside.

Then he sat down on the bed next to his father, and touched him lightly at the shoulder. "Ada? It is time to wake up. The banquet has started."

Thranduil gradually became aware of a light touch on his shoulder. His mind and eyes focused, and he found himself looking at Legolas' face. His son was dressed in formal clothes ... formal clothes! With a start, Thranduil woke up fully.

Legolas smiled at him. "Father, the banquet has begun. Perhaps you should get ready. I have already laid out some clothes for you and your wash kit. I am sorry that I had to wake you."

Thranduil returned Legolas' smile. "Thank you, Legolas." The king swung his legs out of the bed and got up to refresh himself. He quickly washed and dressed, but stopped when it came to braiding his hair. "Legolas, would you help me with my hair?"

Legolas looked at him in surprise. His father had never asked him to do this before. "Of course, ada." Legolas' deft fingers quickly gathered and braided Thranduil's hair, so much like his own in texture and colour.

"Thank you, my son." Thranduil now looked very much the king, and Legolas was proud of his father. Together they went to the feast.

The evening progressed smoothly. Food had been served on long tables and everyone was able to choose their own food and place. When Legolas and Thranduil had filled their plates, Legolas led his father to a table where Elrond sat, with all four of his children. Without asking his father, Legolas asked:" May we join you?"

Elrond looked up. "Of course you can. Welcome, Thandruil. Please have a seat" Elrond indicated an empty seat next to him. Since it was impossible to turn this invitation down without being very rude, Thandruil accepted and sat down. The meal continued in awkward silence. When they had finished their food, the twins and Arwen gave their excuses as soon as politeness allowed, which left Elrond, Thandruil, Legolas and Estel.

It was then that Elrond said: "You have a son to be proud of, Thranduil." The king looked surprised, and it was the second time this evening that Elrond made Legolas blush.

"At first, when Legolas started coming to Imladris I did not realise that Estel and Legolas were not only friends. It took me a while to notice." Thranduil nodded, it had been similar with him. "After I did know, I tried to talk Estel out of what I perceived as a youthful folly for many years, and, when Legolas came, I am afraid, his welcome was not a warm one." Again, Thranduil nodded. He was surprised that Elrond admitted to this, but it had been much the same for Estel in Lasgalen.

"I cannot claim I knew Legolas at the time. He appeared to me as beautiful and arrogant, not the sort of person I wanted as a partner for any of my children. But I had never even tried to get to know him."

"Several years ago, Legolas fell ill with some food poisoning which he and Estel acquired on one of their travels. He was exhausted and ill, and this allowed me to see him as a person, rather than the Prince of the Woodland Realm, for the first time." Thranduil looked surprised, Legolas had not told him about that incident. But then, there were many years of his son's life that he did not know much about, the king thought with sadness.

"Since that time, much has changed, and today I am proud to call Legolas a friend. He has been a good friend to all of my sons and I believe it was his presence last autumn that gave Estel the will to heal. I cannot thank him enough for that."

Thranduil looked first at Elrond, then at Legolas and Estel for a long time. He then quietly addressed his son: "Legolas, do you truly care for Estel?"

Legolas did not shy away from an honest answer. He held his father's gaze and replied firmly: "Yes, I do. You should know that by now, father." Thranduil just nodded and then turned to Estel. "Do you truly care for my son, Estel Elrondion?" "Yes, I do," said Estel, looking into the king's eyes.

Thrandruil sighed. "I am sure that Elrond and others, including myself, have made you aware of the consequences of your relationship." Both Estel and Legolas nodded. "I will not repeat lectures that you have heard many times before, but instead I will say this: I do not believe that this is a relationship that will end in joy, but I will not stand in the way of whatever happiness you can find." At these somewhat gruff words, Legolas and Estel broke into such radiant smiles that both Elrond and Thrandruil inwardly winced.

"Go off now, and enjoy yourselves. Use your time well."

"Thank you, father!" Legolas' face said it all. He took Estel's hand, and they left the table for the centre of the Hall where other couples where already dancing.

Elrond looked at Thranduil. "You know that you have just made our sons the two happiest people in Middle Earth... Thank you for that. They have deserved some carefree time."

Thranduil looked at Elrond seriously. "I have had much reason to think about some of the thinks that I have said and done over the years, and there are some that I would do differently if I had to do them again."

Elrond nodded, it was the same with him. Thranduil continued. "We were once friends. I cannot forget the day when so many of my people died – if you only had given different commands, this might not have happened, and they would still be alive."

Elrond looked at Thranduil. "Don't you think I have not pondered the same question for weeks, months and years afterwards? But I have not yet found the answer to the question of what I should have done instead. It was a bad battle and the odds were against us. Whatever other choices I would have taken would have resulted in equal or greater loss of life. And yet, I too, have not forgiven myself for that failure. Because that is what it was. I failed our people on that day."

Thranduil was deeply touched by Elrond's sincerity. He always had had the feeling that Elrond somehow shirked responsibility for the events of this day three thousand years ago. But this was clearly not the case, and the level of self-reproach in the other elf both surprised and saddened Thranduil.

"If I could undo that day, I would." Elrond's grey eyes locked with Thranduil's blue ones. Three thousand years of hurt and reproach would not be forgotten or healed in a day, but perhaps it was time to reclaim some of the friendship they had shared as younger elves. And at that moment an unspoken agreement passed between them.

The next day was the day of the Council. Galadriel and Celeborn, Thranduil and Legolas, Elrond and his three sons, and Halbarad met together in Galadriel's quarters to be undisturbed. They sat around a large table which already had a number of maps laid out on it. Galadriel formally opened the meeting.

"I thank all of you who have travelled from far and near. We have met here to gather everything we know about the growing threat of darkness. It is unfortunate that Mithrandir has not yet arrived, his knowledge would be valuable. But we have to make do with what we have, and between us, we should be able to gain some insights into what is happening. Let us begin. Halbarad, you have come from furthest west, please tell us what the situation is in the western lands."

And so the Council began. Everyone contributed their knowledge and experience. Maps were marked where orcs and wolves attacked or had been reported, spider's lairs were noted. And out of this a picture emerged that confirmed the suspicion that Elrond and Halbarad had earlier. Evil had returned to Dol Guldur, and this evil was of considerable power. Evil forces were moving, and they were moving in patterns. But no one knew what the patterns implied.

"We need to monitor their movements carefully," said Celeborn eventually. "And we need to get some idea of what the patterns of attack mean. They are not random, that much can be seen, but we do not know yet what they mean. There is much activity near the mountains, but also in the west, and in southern Mirkwood. I do not yet know what the connections are."

As the patterns of enemy movements emerged, Galadriel had become very quiet. Finally she said: "They are searching for something, and the something is almost certainly the One Ring of power, Sauron's ring. It has been lost, but perhaps the dark forces have some knowledge of where it might be."

Stunned silence followed her words. But when they others looked at the maps again, they saw what Galadriel meant. The attacks seemed to follow circular patterns, evenly spaced out. Someone or something was organising the movements of orcs and wolves, their movements were not random, and their patterns made sense if they were indeed search patterns.

"We need more information. The rangers will play a vital role in this, you can come and go unseen almost anywhere amongst men." Halbarad nodded, this was true.

"We must also inform Mithrandir, his help is vital. Otherwise, we must do something about the spiders in Southern Mirkwood. They are becoming a real threat, not only to Thranduil's people but also to all travellers. I would suggest that we sent a large force and try to reduce their numbers to the point where they cannot do any damage for many years."

Elrond said: "I will come with some of our warriors. This should be an effort by all elves."

Both Galadriel and Thranduil nodded in agreement. And so the decision was taken that as soon as it could be arranged, Elrond would bring some of his warriors to Lasgalen. The combined forces of Thranduil and Elrond would fight their way through the northern part of Mirkwood, trying to clean out as much evil as possible. At the old Forest Road the force from Lothlorien would meet them, and together they would try to fight and kill as many dark creatures as they possibly could in Southern Mirkwood. All three sons of Elrond and Legolas volunteered for this campaign. Both of their fathers sighed with worry and exasperation. But then, they would go as well, so they could hardly deny this adventure to their sons.

The Council ended late in the afternoon. When everyone was leaving, Galadriel asked Thranduil to stay. During the entire meeting, they had been polite but cool to each other.

"Thranduil, many years ago I have done your son a great injustice. He is beautiful, inside and out. And it really does not matter what colour his eyes are," she said, remembering her insensitive remark about Legolas when he was a toddler.

"No, it does not," Thranduil said, turning away from her. He could and would not forget Galadriel's rejection of his wife. The hurt of that went too deep. He was prepared to be polite to Galadriel and cooperate with her, he even respected her knowledge and statesmanship, but he had no desire for small talk.

"Thank you for organising this Council. It was necessary. Please accept my excuses, it has been a long day. We will not impose on your hospitality any longer than necessary and will leave as soon as my warriors are fully recovered."

Galadriel simply nodded, and sighed. She realised that by objecting so much to Thranduil's marriage all this time ago she had lost a friend and the good will of an important ally. Perhaps time would bring healing here, too. She watched Thranduil leaving, his back stiff with suppressed resentment.

Somehow the topic of marriage reminded her of a conversation with Elrond she had had the previous evening. Elrond had asked her directly whether she had suggested to Arwen a match with Legolas. Galadriel had not denied the fact, and had told Elrond her reasons.

Elrond had simply nodded, smiled, and said: "I do not think these two are suitable, and I do not wish to condemn either Arwen or Legolas to a loveless marriage. I also believe that in personality these two are very poorly matched, and would not even be able to find contentment." Galadriel had then told him that she had had a similar impression after having seen more of Legolas.

They had then gone on to discuss Legolas' relationship with Estel. She had told Elrond that she felt strongly that a stop she be put to it. Both Legolas and Estel needed to marry, to continue their respective bloodlines. But Elrond had asked her whether she had not felt how strongly committed the two were to each other, and that he felt that in the end happiness was more important than heirs. They had not come to an agreement on the topic.

Galadriel admitted to herself that one of the things she very much appreciated about her son-in-law was that they always retained respect for each other, even if they disagreed at times. Even though much younger than herself in years, Elrond was truly wise, and she acknowledged this.

Later that evening, Estel and Legolas sat in the branches of one of the mallorn trees away from the elven city. After the lengthy meeting, they had escaped with a small bag of food and drink, and were now taking their refreshments in companionable silence.

They sat in the tree for a long time, until night fell and the stars began to shine. As it became cooler, they moved closer together, holding each other for warmth and comfort.

Epilogue

Many years later.

Legolas knelt at the foot of Haldir's grave. He could not believe that Haldir was truly dead, that they would not meet again. Ever. He had cried so much that he now felt completely drained. In all the long years since their first meeting in Lothlorien, Legolas had never forgotten that one kiss that he had shared with Haldir, and the many unsaid things that went with it.
Aragorn came up behind him and place his hands on Legolas' shoulders.

"Come, Legolas. There is nothing more you can do for him. I know what he meant to you – I am so sorry. He was a good friend to me, too."

Legolas looked up briefly. He was very pale and his eyes were red. He would never show himself to anyone but Aragorn in such a state. "Do you really know what he meant to me, Estel?" Legolas deliberately used Aragorn's elven name, the name they used between them in intimate moments.

Aragorn looked at Legolas seriously. "Yes, Legolas, I do. Since we first met him, you were in love with him. I think he was with you, too. I have always known and have wondered many times why you stayed with me. He had so much to offer – a life with your own kin, you could have bonded with him, and you could have shared his life much more than you ever could have mine. And yet I know that you stayed true to me, or at least I think you did. It made me love you even more."

Legolas returned Aragorn's serious gaze. "Yes, I loved him. Or perhaps it is better to say a part of me loved him. There was once, and only once, a time when we kissed." Legolas voice sounded choked by grief as the memories became overwhelming. "It could have easily turned into much more. But I realised that I loved you too much to give you up and I could not and did not want to hurt you. Haldir never reproached me for this decision although I know he cared much for me. But he respected you as much as he did me, and did not want to hurt either of us."

Legolas expected Aragorn to be shocked by this confession. But the man only smiled and embraced Legolas. "I had guessed a long time ago that something like this had happened, but I also knew that you had not lain with him. I do not think you would have been able to hide this from me, I know you too well."

At that comment, Legolas smiled a sad little smile. He stood up and turned into Aragorn's embrace. They stood together at their friend's grave for a long time, both pondering what would have happened if Legolas had chosen differently all these years ago.

THE END

I have enjoyed writing this story and would like to thank all of you who have reviewed over the weeks. It has been a pleasure to read your reviews and at times they have kept the plot bunny going. Until we meet again!

All good things must come to an end.