Title: Kindergarten
Author: trin_chardin
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?
Categories: AU/Humor
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.
-----
Kindergarten
Chapter 2 - A Case of the Cooties
"Uh...so, what have you learned today?" The junior teacher asked the class.
"It's our first day of school," Smith answered, as if to say, 'you idiot'.
"Oh. Is that so?" Seraph replied, to his credit, seemingly unflustered.
Smith just stared at him.
"Well, let's have a Share-and-Tell."
The class looked at him, unamused.
"I think you mean Show-and-Tell," Smith said flatly, not adding, 'moron'.
"Ah, but you haven't been asked to bring anything today," Seraph said, calmly. His eyes shone mischievously. "So, we're just going to share our thoughts today. Who knows what..." He paused for emphasis. "...cooties are?"
All the boys cringed in their seats as the girls giggled. Even Trinity managed a smirk.
But, Morpheus looked nonplussed as he raised his hand.
"Yes...?"
"Morpheus."
"Well, Morpheus?"
"My older brother said you get them when a girl kisses you. Or hugs you." He wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"So, you must have them," Smith said accusingly. He glared at Niobe. "Girls are a disease."
"I do not! Niobe only holds my hand."
"More like he holds hers," Locke muttered under his breath.
"You're just jealous 'cause you don't have a girlfriend," Morpheus said smugly.
Niobe rolled her eyes a second time.
"Girls are not a disease," Neo said softly. "At least, Trinity isn't. She's nice."
The boy turned a brilliant red as the girl in question gave him a pleased smile.
Ghost just glowered.
"Yes, they are," Smith persisted. "Girls are a plague - "
"What would you know?" Perse cut in with an icy look. "None of them like you."
Slightly deflated, the boy sniffed and cross his arms at his chest, pouting.
"Don't worry, mon ami," Mero intereceded. "They'll come around."
He smirked at Perse, who looked at him like she would a dead rat.
"Girls are..."
"Only trouble."
The twins nodded firmly at the same time.
"With your hair are you sure, -you- aren't girls?" Trinity asked coldly.
Both flinched as they touched their hair.
"Well, your boyfriend's still a dork," One said, trying to comfort Two.
"He's not her boyfriend," Ghost protested.
"I think Neo's sweet," said Perse, smiling brightly at the boy. Neo turned even redder.
"Of course, he is. He's my friend," Trinity said, with emphasis on the possessive.
"Do you want to come to my house later?" Perse asked Neo, pointedly ignoring Trinity.
"Uh...I dunno if my mommy will let me," he said softly.
"Besides, he's coming to -my- house already." Trinity smiled triumphantly at Perse.
"What do you do there..."
"Play with dolls, dork?"
The twins snickered as Mero smirked.
"You're going to get cooties," Smith warned.
"Don't worry, Neo. I don't think it's that bad."
Morpheus patted his friend's arm. Neo looked terrified.
"What do you do..."
"At a girl's house?"
The twins asked, curiousity overcoming them.
"We play race cars!" Morpheus shouted. "Vroom! Vroom! And Locke's always last."
He stuck his tongue out at the other boy.
"It's not like you win either," the dark-skinned boy said sullenly. "Niobe does."
"I let her win 'cause I'm a gentlumun."
"It's -gentleman-," Smith corrected snidely.
"That's what I said." Morpheus smiled proudly.
Niobe did not look pleased, exchanging knowing looks with Trinity.
"We play cops n' hackers," Neo whispered.
"What's a hacker?" Perse asked, interested.
"It's people who...uh..." He flushed at the attention. "...they hack at computers."
"With knives?" The twins cut in, eyes alit.
"No, you simpletons," Smith said. "They look at a computer's insides and take stuff."
"Oh." Losing interest, the two returned to gouging at their desks with their rulers.
"When Trinity catches you, does she kiss you?" Mero smiled slyly at the flushed Neo.
"She does not," Ghost objected hotly.
"Well, I'm sure she will eventually, Neo," Seraph said, thinking to comfort the boy.
"You're a cootie boy," Smith taunted.
Neo had all but disappeared behind his desk.
"Now, class! Let's start today's lesson," the teacher said, as she returned sans kid.
Seraph smiled sunnily at her and went out the door. The woman watched him leave and then turned to her students.
"What did he teach you?"
Author: trin_chardin
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?
Categories: AU/Humor
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.
-----
Kindergarten
Chapter 2 - A Case of the Cooties
"Uh...so, what have you learned today?" The junior teacher asked the class.
"It's our first day of school," Smith answered, as if to say, 'you idiot'.
"Oh. Is that so?" Seraph replied, to his credit, seemingly unflustered.
Smith just stared at him.
"Well, let's have a Share-and-Tell."
The class looked at him, unamused.
"I think you mean Show-and-Tell," Smith said flatly, not adding, 'moron'.
"Ah, but you haven't been asked to bring anything today," Seraph said, calmly. His eyes shone mischievously. "So, we're just going to share our thoughts today. Who knows what..." He paused for emphasis. "...cooties are?"
All the boys cringed in their seats as the girls giggled. Even Trinity managed a smirk.
But, Morpheus looked nonplussed as he raised his hand.
"Yes...?"
"Morpheus."
"Well, Morpheus?"
"My older brother said you get them when a girl kisses you. Or hugs you." He wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"So, you must have them," Smith said accusingly. He glared at Niobe. "Girls are a disease."
"I do not! Niobe only holds my hand."
"More like he holds hers," Locke muttered under his breath.
"You're just jealous 'cause you don't have a girlfriend," Morpheus said smugly.
Niobe rolled her eyes a second time.
"Girls are not a disease," Neo said softly. "At least, Trinity isn't. She's nice."
The boy turned a brilliant red as the girl in question gave him a pleased smile.
Ghost just glowered.
"Yes, they are," Smith persisted. "Girls are a plague - "
"What would you know?" Perse cut in with an icy look. "None of them like you."
Slightly deflated, the boy sniffed and cross his arms at his chest, pouting.
"Don't worry, mon ami," Mero intereceded. "They'll come around."
He smirked at Perse, who looked at him like she would a dead rat.
"Girls are..."
"Only trouble."
The twins nodded firmly at the same time.
"With your hair are you sure, -you- aren't girls?" Trinity asked coldly.
Both flinched as they touched their hair.
"Well, your boyfriend's still a dork," One said, trying to comfort Two.
"He's not her boyfriend," Ghost protested.
"I think Neo's sweet," said Perse, smiling brightly at the boy. Neo turned even redder.
"Of course, he is. He's my friend," Trinity said, with emphasis on the possessive.
"Do you want to come to my house later?" Perse asked Neo, pointedly ignoring Trinity.
"Uh...I dunno if my mommy will let me," he said softly.
"Besides, he's coming to -my- house already." Trinity smiled triumphantly at Perse.
"What do you do there..."
"Play with dolls, dork?"
The twins snickered as Mero smirked.
"You're going to get cooties," Smith warned.
"Don't worry, Neo. I don't think it's that bad."
Morpheus patted his friend's arm. Neo looked terrified.
"What do you do..."
"At a girl's house?"
The twins asked, curiousity overcoming them.
"We play race cars!" Morpheus shouted. "Vroom! Vroom! And Locke's always last."
He stuck his tongue out at the other boy.
"It's not like you win either," the dark-skinned boy said sullenly. "Niobe does."
"I let her win 'cause I'm a gentlumun."
"It's -gentleman-," Smith corrected snidely.
"That's what I said." Morpheus smiled proudly.
Niobe did not look pleased, exchanging knowing looks with Trinity.
"We play cops n' hackers," Neo whispered.
"What's a hacker?" Perse asked, interested.
"It's people who...uh..." He flushed at the attention. "...they hack at computers."
"With knives?" The twins cut in, eyes alit.
"No, you simpletons," Smith said. "They look at a computer's insides and take stuff."
"Oh." Losing interest, the two returned to gouging at their desks with their rulers.
"When Trinity catches you, does she kiss you?" Mero smiled slyly at the flushed Neo.
"She does not," Ghost objected hotly.
"Well, I'm sure she will eventually, Neo," Seraph said, thinking to comfort the boy.
"You're a cootie boy," Smith taunted.
Neo had all but disappeared behind his desk.
"Now, class! Let's start today's lesson," the teacher said, as she returned sans kid.
Seraph smiled sunnily at her and went out the door. The woman watched him leave and then turned to her students.
"What did he teach you?"