The Sailor Senshi of America Episode 2: The Attack of the Eeeeevil Fungus
(PG 13)
By: sweet saturn
Disclaimer: Once again I do not own Sailor Moon and co.; they are creation of Naoko Takeuchi. Sailor No-Tan is mine though.
It was yet another beautiful day in Little Tokyo. You would never expect that there was a mad evil hentai villian hiding in the midst of it, or that there were such powerful warriors living amongst such ordinary people. The SSOA (Sailor Senshi of America) were shopping at the local Dillards $CHA- CHING$ in the mall. There they discussed their new found powers and foe while shopping for shoes, and other items.
Meanwhile, somewhere in another dimension hidden in the midst of Little Tokyo, the evil nasty hentai villian (who is still nameless) was forming an evil etchi scheme in his twisted, pathetic excuse for a mind. "I know!," he exclaimed, as he headed towards his lab. There he began mixing different chemicals and some type of fungus, until suddenly an explosion erupted, and lo and behold the result was a giant blob of eeeeevil fungus.
"Mguggakicakayagua!!", he chuckled evily. He then set it loose to reek havoc amongst the people of Little Tokyo. Back at the mall the girls had just finished paying for their purchases, when they heard a loud commotion. Handing their bags to the guys (who had also come along on the shopping trip), they quickly rushed out to investigate. And what do you know there plopped straight in the middle of a rode was an evil disgusting blob of fungus devouring everything in it's path and growing larger by the nano second.
"All right girls you know the routine," said Hotaru.
"Wait a minute! Hey author you know what these brooches are nice and all, but they look absolutley dreadful with our fukus don't you think?"
"Hmm...I agree with you Minako. So you want me to design new brooches or what?"
"No, how about we have transformation pens instead?"
"Ok, that's fine. I'm not gonna be original cuz I can't think of any transformation pens cooler than the Super/Crystal power pens!" said the author, speaking for once without the thunderous voice. With that each of the girls whipped out their transformation pens.
"Saturn Kawaii Power Make-Up!
"Jupiter Kawaii Power Make-up!
"Venus Kawaii Power Make-up!
"Mercury Kawaii Power Make-up!" shouted Hotaru, Makoto, Minako, and Ami.
In a whirl of sparklies there appeared the four SSOA, Sailor Jupiter,Saturn,Mercury, and Venus!
"Is there evil amoung us? I KNOW there is fungus amoung us!," declared Sailor Venus. She then fluffed her hair and said, "Look at my hair! It's just so pretty!"
"Well mine is just perfect!" announced Sailor Saturn with a graceful toss of her hair.
"Let's stop talkin' about our hair and kill that fungus!" exclaimed Sailor Mercury. "First we have to make our speeches to announce our entrance though," said Sailor Jupiter. "I am Sailor Jupiter! I am the soldier of love and the simple life of tea,cooking,and pretty things, and of course thunder! In the name of Jupiter I will punish you!"
"I am Sailor Mercury! I am the soldier of love, exams, computers,smarts, and of course water! In the name of Mercury I will punish you!" "Oh come on can't you think of something more original? I mean that phrase 'In the name of so and so' has been so overused it's not even funny!"
"QUIET!," exclaimed a thunderous voice from above, "THIS IS MY FANFIC SO WHAT I SAY GOES! SO CAN IT!"
"Well sooooorrrrrrry I wouldn't have asked if I had know you'd react this way.
"WELL IF YOU WERE STARVING TO DEATH & HAD NOTHING TO DRINK BUT DIET ROOTBEER YOU'D BE MIGHTY CROSS AND WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO THINK OF ANY BETTER LINE THAN THE OVERUSED ONE IN THE DUBBED VERSION OF SAILOR MOON TOO!" replied the thunderous voice sounding more cross than thunderous.
The Author than began to write again, while listening to "Rashiku Ikimashou" aka the Super S ending song.
"That's where that music is coming from!"said Venus.
"Gee you think V-ba...."said Saturn.
"Don't even think about SS!"added Venus in a don't-you-say-it-or-I-will- kill-you voice.
"Let's just get back to the story!"said Mercury exasperatingly.
"Ami's right!" added Jupiter. So the quarreling stopped and the story continued.
"Hey I'm supposed to be the only soldier of love!" exclaimed Venus indignantly.
"No you're not we all are! See look at the translation of Ai no Senshi it says soldiers of love! So see you're not the only one! You're the only soldier of love AND beauty!" replied an exasperated Saturn.
"Oh I see! Thanks for clearin' that up for me SS!"
"No prob V-babe!"
"Don't call me that!" shouted Venus as she hit Saturn.
"Ow! Geez you don't have to spaz out V-babe," said Saturn whacking Venus with her silence glaive. This time she blocked the oncoming attack with her silence glaive.
"Will you two quit squabbling, and finish your speeches! For in case you haven't noticed, there is a fungus among us that we have to kill!" exclaimed Jupiter.
"All righty then," said Venus, "I am Sailor Venus! I represent love, beauty, teen idols, shopping, and match making! In the name of Venus I will eliminate you!"
"ORIGINAL ENOUGH?!"
"It'll do," Mercury said.
"I am Sailor Saturn! I represent love, sweetness, silence, death, and destruction! In the name of Saturn I will destroy you!" The senshi began to finally attack the eeeeevil fungus, after finishing their speeches, as "Ai no Senshi" began to play.
"Mercury Ultra Data Blast!" shouted Mercury. With that she pressed one key of her mini computer blasting the eeeeevil fungus, but this was no ordianary fungus for it was an eeeeevil fungus. The eeeeevil fungus was stunned by the attack and blown up and sent flying into all directions. Then it slowly pulled itself back together.
"Oh my God! I hope it's not in my hair! Is it?!" cried Venus.
"It's not V-babe! NOW KILL IT!" screamed Mercury. Venus quickly nodded, and then shouted "Venus Teen Idol Shriek!" Then she let out an ear-piercing high "c" shattering glass everywhere along with the eeeeevil fungus.
"V, you're supposed to shatter the fungus not every single piece of glass in the world!" said Jupiter sharply while slowly taking her hands off her ears.
"Sorry I got carried away," said Venus. Then she whacked Mercury really hard, and shouted, "DON'T CALL ME V-BABE!!" Meanwhile glass makers and repairers where busy all around the world creating new glass as well as repairing the broken glass.
"OH MY GOD I DON'T BELIEVE IT! THE FUNGUS IS BACK AND IT HAS THE QUEEN OF FUNGUS WITH IT!" screamed Mercury.
"No wait a minute! Look closely Ami, it's just Sailor Pluto, Guardian of Time!"said Saturn.
"Oh I see now Hotaru-chan! Hehe! Hiya Plut!"said Mercury.
"Hey Plut!" said Saturn waving at Sailor Plut.
"Nice to see ya Plut!" said Jupiter.
"How's it goin' Plut?" said Venus.
"Konnichi wa," replied Plut, "Just what exactly am I doing here? And why on earth is everyone calling me Plut?!"
"SORRY PLUT BUT YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS FANFIC SO BYE BYE YOU GO!" said the thunderous voice from above, and with that Sailor Plut vanished. All of a sudden the eeeeevil fungus reappeared, and with it the Queen of Fungus, who looked very much like Queen Beryl with stringy green hair, a mushroom crown, and a gown made of fungus.
"AHHHHHHHHHH THE FUNGUS IS BACK AND IT HAS THE QUEEN OF FUNGUS WITH IT!" screamed Ami. "AND SHE'S NOT FASHIONABLE CLOTHES! AHHHHHH! WHAT'S THE WORLD COMING TO?! WHERE ARE THE FASHION POLICE WHEN YOU NEED THEM?!" screamed Venus.
"I'll take care of it! Jupiter Boiling Tea Cyclone!" shouted Jupiter sending a gigantic cyclone of boiling tea hurling at the eeeeevil fungus melting it into a puddle of goo.
"My turn now!" exclaimed Saturn, "Saturn Burning Silence!" With that a blinding blaze of black and violet flames was hurling towards the Queen of Fungus. Then the blast hit her burning her into an oblivion, but since this was no ordinary fungus this was the Queen of Fungus, she managed to put herself together (though not in the best form) as well as the eeeeevil fungus.
"AHHHHHHHHHH THEY KEEP PUTTING THEMSELVES BACK TOGETHER! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!" exclaimed Mercury hysterically.
"What we always do,"said Jupiter.
"What's that?" asked Mercury.
"Wait for the author to give us some cool attack that'll kill off the eeeeevil fungus and the Queen of Fungus, or wait till the author puts in some new character to save the day," answered Saturn.
"Hey who's that albino kid across the street?" asked Venus. The albino looking kid was about average height,with white hair slightly past her shoulders,pale white skin, with pink eyes, wearing white jean overalls, a white t-shirt, white socks, and white tennis shoes. She quickly sprinted across the street just as the eeeeevil fungus and Queen of Fungus were coming towards the senshi.
"Stop right there!" she commanded and the eeeeevil fungus and Queen of Fungus just stood there shocked by that this albino kid was trying to tell them what to do. "I am Hayley, better known as Sailor No Tan and I order you to go back to your evil kingdom of Fungai and leave us and the rest of the world alone!" she declared, and with that she whipped out a transformation pen exactly like the other senshi's, except that it was silver where the others were gold and white wherever there was any other color.
"No Tan Kawaii Power Make-up!" she shouted holding up her pen, she then transformed in a blaze of bright white light and was dressed in a fuku that was exactly like the other senshi's, except that it was all white. Suddenly she disappeared from sight. "Hey where'd she go?" said Venus.
"Here I am!," came the voice of the invisible Sailor No Tan, "I am Sailor No Tan! I stand for love and all the people who don't have or can't get a tan! Pale Peaches Blast!" she shouted. Suddenly a blast of pale peaches (what'd you expect, flying monkeys?) slammed into the eeeeevil fungus and the Queen of Fungus destroying them both. Then all the senshi detransformed, and Sailor No Tan was once again visible and then welcomed by the SSOA.