Title: Kindergarten
Author: trin_chardin
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?
Categories: AU/Humor
Author's Notes: Thanks to you lovely reviewers, with special mention to my fellow hardliners for their lovely ideas! For this one, the credit goes in part to September and Ryven. *huggles* [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.
-----
Kindergarten
Chapter 6 - Smith, Smith, and Smith
When the teacher returned with Mero and Perse in tow, she found a brawl of fists, feet, dreadlocks, and Chinese curses. The two girls, however, just looked angelically up at her beside the classroom door. The teacher put her hand on the knob and turned it.
It was locked. Her forehead furrowed in puzzlement and what was...
"Boys, stop fighting...girls, move aside... What is that noise?!?"
Once she unlocked the door, she still found it blocked by a chair. But, it was soon pushed aside and a wide-eyed Neo appeared in its place, lower lip trembling.
"What happened, Neo?"
"I...I..." He sniffed. "I touched Smith and he screamed at me! I didn't hurt him! Promise!"
"It's alright," she said soothingly. "Why don't you sit down on this chair for a moment? ...Here have a cookie."
She took one from her pocket and handed it to him. As she moved farther into the room, Trinity, who'd trailed behind, took another chair and sat as close as she could to Neo.
"It's okay," she whispered, taking his hand. "Smith's just being weird. I know you wouldn't hurt anyone really."
He managed a tremulous smile for her and rubbed his eyes with the back of his cookie-holding hand. But, his anxious look returned when the others came in and looked curiously at him. Trinity glared at the smirking twins, while Morpheus awkwardly patted his friend's back. Refusing to be beaten in this area either, Mero let out another moan and leaned dramatically on Perse's supporting arm. Locke just rolled his eyes at the entire soap opera, while Ghost glared at Neo.
Niobe, however, had continued following their teacher and peered from behind at her classmate. The boy was curled up in a corner, his screams subdued to back-and-forth rocking.
"Joh - ...Ah, Smith, are you okay, honey?" The teacher asked.
"He...he contaminated me!" Smith wailed. "I have cooties now!"
"Now, now," the teacher humored him. "I'm sure there's a cure."
"There is?" His mussed-up head poked up from the burrow of his arms.
"I'm sure," she said with a smile.
Niobe covered her mouth to stop a giggle from escaping. But, Smith still heard her.
"Stay away from me, you...you virus!"
"Smith, it really isn't nice to call other people names." With a disapproving shake, she helped the boy up. "Now, get to your feet, before you get your nice blazer any dirtier."
With a sniff, the boy straightened and brushed at his suit, still glaring at Niobe.
Confident that the matter had been resolved, the teacher returned to the front of the class and clapped her hands to call for attention.
"Well, class, I'm not happy with your behavior today. Because it's your first day, I'll be lenient. But, after this, if you misbehave - meaning, calling names or rough-housing - I will make you stand in a corner..." Most of the class looked unimpressed by the threat. "...and you won't be allowed to participate in Show-and-Tell."
Appropriate shocked silence followed. She smiled.
"So," the teacher continued, "Does everyone understand that?"
Heads autmomatically nodded without a single word of protest.
"Good. ...Now, I want all of you to return to your proper seats. We're going to have our first lesson. Arts and Crafts. On a short bond..." She started to pass out the sheets of paper. "...I want you to show what you liked most about your first day of school. You can use anything you want. Crayons...poster paint - "
"Can we cut out pictures?" One asked eagerly.
"Of course. I have some magazines, scissors, and paste," the teacher answered, pleased at the boy's enthusiasm.
"Cool," Two whispered. "Maybe we'll get cut!"
The two exchanged wide grins as their classmates hummed with excitement. Their teacher was already walking amongst them, handing out various art materials. Afterwards, a few minutes passed in serene silence. Except for an occassional look at her charges, the teacher was intent on a recipe for little gingerbread men.
As is often the case, the silence didn't last long. And of course, like all great tragedies, things happened all at the same time. There were the twins running around with dreadlocks flying in their wake. They'd thankfully let go of their scissors, but having them gag on paste wasn't any better. At the center of the white whirlpool, Mero was trying to soothe a wailing Perse. Her immaculate white dress now had splotches of bright orange and neon green. The source was evident from the paint fight going on at the other end of the room between Morpheus and Locke. Those seated near them had taken cover under their desks, respective pictures clutched protectively to their chests.
And in the midst of all the chaos, Smith worked intently at his picture, muttering under his breath.
"Seraph!"
In a flash, the nattily attired assistant teacher appeared at the door. Somehow, he knew just when to duck as a blob of red flew at him. Certain that the man was somehow connected to that nonsense about cooties, she shoved the paint-covered Morpheus and Locke towards him.
"Clean them up. Now."
As the boys were scrubbed clean, she washed the mouths of the rowdy twins and then helped Perse with her dress. When the group returned from the bathroom, the others were still thankfully in place. With her class settled down and Seraph shooed away, the teacher sat down at her desk.
"So, who wants to show us what he or she has done?"
Much to her disappointment, none of the children seemed eager to go up front. But, when Smith's hand shot up, the teacher wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not. Past experience with the little boy didn't speak well of him.
"Alright, J - " A glare. A sigh. "Smith."
She hadn't even passed J this time. He was getting faster. Stopping herself from rolling her eyes, she gestured for the boy to stand in front of the class, which he promptly did.
"This is me, me, and me, too," the boy said seriously, pointing at his drawing. "After being contaminated..." Neo turned red. "...I've mutated and obtained the ability to multiply myself. I don't know how to work it yet, but once I do I can turn everyone else into me and rule the world."
For a moment, there was stunned silence. Then, the twins started clapping enthusiastically, all in support for any multi-self campaign. Mero just smirked at his rival for the evil overlord position. The rest of the class just continued to stare at Smith in silence.
"Well, that's...uh...nice, Smith," said his teacher. "Anyone else want to show their work?"
Author: trin_chardin
Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?
Categories: AU/Humor
Author's Notes: Thanks to you lovely reviewers, with special mention to my fellow hardliners for their lovely ideas! For this one, the credit goes in part to September and Ryven. *huggles* [Check out the Construct! http://www.constructfic.org/]
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.
-----
Kindergarten
Chapter 6 - Smith, Smith, and Smith
When the teacher returned with Mero and Perse in tow, she found a brawl of fists, feet, dreadlocks, and Chinese curses. The two girls, however, just looked angelically up at her beside the classroom door. The teacher put her hand on the knob and turned it.
It was locked. Her forehead furrowed in puzzlement and what was...
"Boys, stop fighting...girls, move aside... What is that noise?!?"
Once she unlocked the door, she still found it blocked by a chair. But, it was soon pushed aside and a wide-eyed Neo appeared in its place, lower lip trembling.
"What happened, Neo?"
"I...I..." He sniffed. "I touched Smith and he screamed at me! I didn't hurt him! Promise!"
"It's alright," she said soothingly. "Why don't you sit down on this chair for a moment? ...Here have a cookie."
She took one from her pocket and handed it to him. As she moved farther into the room, Trinity, who'd trailed behind, took another chair and sat as close as she could to Neo.
"It's okay," she whispered, taking his hand. "Smith's just being weird. I know you wouldn't hurt anyone really."
He managed a tremulous smile for her and rubbed his eyes with the back of his cookie-holding hand. But, his anxious look returned when the others came in and looked curiously at him. Trinity glared at the smirking twins, while Morpheus awkwardly patted his friend's back. Refusing to be beaten in this area either, Mero let out another moan and leaned dramatically on Perse's supporting arm. Locke just rolled his eyes at the entire soap opera, while Ghost glared at Neo.
Niobe, however, had continued following their teacher and peered from behind at her classmate. The boy was curled up in a corner, his screams subdued to back-and-forth rocking.
"Joh - ...Ah, Smith, are you okay, honey?" The teacher asked.
"He...he contaminated me!" Smith wailed. "I have cooties now!"
"Now, now," the teacher humored him. "I'm sure there's a cure."
"There is?" His mussed-up head poked up from the burrow of his arms.
"I'm sure," she said with a smile.
Niobe covered her mouth to stop a giggle from escaping. But, Smith still heard her.
"Stay away from me, you...you virus!"
"Smith, it really isn't nice to call other people names." With a disapproving shake, she helped the boy up. "Now, get to your feet, before you get your nice blazer any dirtier."
With a sniff, the boy straightened and brushed at his suit, still glaring at Niobe.
Confident that the matter had been resolved, the teacher returned to the front of the class and clapped her hands to call for attention.
"Well, class, I'm not happy with your behavior today. Because it's your first day, I'll be lenient. But, after this, if you misbehave - meaning, calling names or rough-housing - I will make you stand in a corner..." Most of the class looked unimpressed by the threat. "...and you won't be allowed to participate in Show-and-Tell."
Appropriate shocked silence followed. She smiled.
"So," the teacher continued, "Does everyone understand that?"
Heads autmomatically nodded without a single word of protest.
"Good. ...Now, I want all of you to return to your proper seats. We're going to have our first lesson. Arts and Crafts. On a short bond..." She started to pass out the sheets of paper. "...I want you to show what you liked most about your first day of school. You can use anything you want. Crayons...poster paint - "
"Can we cut out pictures?" One asked eagerly.
"Of course. I have some magazines, scissors, and paste," the teacher answered, pleased at the boy's enthusiasm.
"Cool," Two whispered. "Maybe we'll get cut!"
The two exchanged wide grins as their classmates hummed with excitement. Their teacher was already walking amongst them, handing out various art materials. Afterwards, a few minutes passed in serene silence. Except for an occassional look at her charges, the teacher was intent on a recipe for little gingerbread men.
As is often the case, the silence didn't last long. And of course, like all great tragedies, things happened all at the same time. There were the twins running around with dreadlocks flying in their wake. They'd thankfully let go of their scissors, but having them gag on paste wasn't any better. At the center of the white whirlpool, Mero was trying to soothe a wailing Perse. Her immaculate white dress now had splotches of bright orange and neon green. The source was evident from the paint fight going on at the other end of the room between Morpheus and Locke. Those seated near them had taken cover under their desks, respective pictures clutched protectively to their chests.
And in the midst of all the chaos, Smith worked intently at his picture, muttering under his breath.
"Seraph!"
In a flash, the nattily attired assistant teacher appeared at the door. Somehow, he knew just when to duck as a blob of red flew at him. Certain that the man was somehow connected to that nonsense about cooties, she shoved the paint-covered Morpheus and Locke towards him.
"Clean them up. Now."
As the boys were scrubbed clean, she washed the mouths of the rowdy twins and then helped Perse with her dress. When the group returned from the bathroom, the others were still thankfully in place. With her class settled down and Seraph shooed away, the teacher sat down at her desk.
"So, who wants to show us what he or she has done?"
Much to her disappointment, none of the children seemed eager to go up front. But, when Smith's hand shot up, the teacher wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not. Past experience with the little boy didn't speak well of him.
"Alright, J - " A glare. A sigh. "Smith."
She hadn't even passed J this time. He was getting faster. Stopping herself from rolling her eyes, she gestured for the boy to stand in front of the class, which he promptly did.
"This is me, me, and me, too," the boy said seriously, pointing at his drawing. "After being contaminated..." Neo turned red. "...I've mutated and obtained the ability to multiply myself. I don't know how to work it yet, but once I do I can turn everyone else into me and rule the world."
For a moment, there was stunned silence. Then, the twins started clapping enthusiastically, all in support for any multi-self campaign. Mero just smirked at his rival for the evil overlord position. The rest of the class just continued to stare at Smith in silence.
"Well, that's...uh...nice, Smith," said his teacher. "Anyone else want to show their work?"