Piccolo stared down at the jumble of glass and wires that was his
foe, its opaque "eye" (or what was LEFT of it) glaring up at him like some
quadriplegic midget cyclops. The Demon King could SWEAR he heard it
mocking him (though, in reality, it was just Vegeta), and it unnerved him
so.
*I should've finished you when I had the chance.*
"Okay, the modifications are complete," Bulma Briefs emerged from underneath the contraption, splotches of oil pot-marking her normally peach face (which was odd, considering a karaoke machine doesn't NEED oil). She dusted her hands and, with her free foot, kicked the panel shut. "The machine is programed to pick the songs at random. Once chosen, the title will appear here." She pointed to a small video panel she had attached to the machine.
"And then I just make up the words as I go along, correct?"
"Clear to see why you're the brains of the group," she said sarcastically (but with an oh-so-lovable grin ^_^).
She continued to speak, this time addressing the anxiously waiting guests converged on the lawn. "Once the singer has completed the song, H.E.R.B.I.E.," she motioned to the hovering robot beside her, who waved back at the crowd with its minuscule robotic arms, "will then judge the competitor's performance."
"Wonderful," Piccolo said with all the enthusiasm of a spayed puppy.
Bulma continued. "So as to avoid any issues of succession, the next contestant will be chosen at random by the computer. And you WILL take your turn!" She focused this last one towards Yajirobe and Oolong, who were suspiciously far away from the group."
"Oh yeah?" Oolong huffed, folding his arms. "And what if we don't?"
[Kler-CHAK!]
The pair immediately found themselves staring down a pair of Gatteling Guns, which were attached to two giant mechas, which ALSO were being piloted by two chibi Saiya-jins.
"We have bacon for a week," Chibi-Trunks said with a devilish grin. Goten smacked his lips in hungry anticipation.
Oolong plopped back down on the ground, defeated.
"Poop."
"Enough with the exposition!" Vegeta hollered from his position beside the tree. "We were all here when you told us the first time!"
"I wasn't!" Yelled back Chaozu.
"Who cares? Get on with it, woman!"
Ignoring her husband (she'd make his suffer later tonight), the blue- haired CEO of Capsule Corp flipped the black switch behind the machine and, with Goku providing a drum-roll (using a pair of chicken legs as drum sticks and Master Roshi's head as a drum), pressed the shiny red "start" button.
"Let's get this contest started!"
*Click!*
Piccolo retreated back a step, moving away from the machine, anticipating an eruption of flames or some kind of impossibly powerful beast to leap out from the screen. (To be honest, that's what he was kind of HOPING for.)
Instead of fire or an evil creature, a familiar beat echoed from the speakers.
*These idiots want a song? I'll give them a song.*
Ignoring the laughs from the crowd, the Demon King quickly cleared his throat...
(A/N: Pop in those CD's, fire up those MP3's, and sing along with Piccolo as he performs HIS version of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady". Enjoy. ^_^)
[Krzzz!]
May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Ma Junior please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Ma Junior please stand up?
(We're gonna have a problem here.)
(Verse 1)
Y'all act like you've never seen a Namek before;
jaws all on the floor
like Goku and Chi Chi just burst in the door,
started whoopin' his @$$ worse than before
(Why won't he get a divorce?)
Hitting him with a skillet. [KLANG!]
"I'm the Prince of the..."
Oh, wait. No, wait. You're kidding.
Vegeta didn't just say what I think he did, did he?
And Kami-sama said...
NOTHING YOU IDIOTS!!!
Kami-sama's dead!
I swallowed him like Skittles! [Slurp!]
All your Saiyan kids love Piccolo -
"Chicka chicka chicka Ma Junior. I'm sick of him!
Look at him,
flying around, wearing that you-know-what,
doing that Demon Screw."
"Yeah, but he's so cool, though."
Yeah, probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose.
But no worse
than what's going on in Krillin's bedrooms. [Bark! Bark!]
Sometimes I just wanna put these peons in their place,
but can't.
But it's cool for Vegeta to rule a dead race.
"I am the Saiyan prince!
I am the Saiyan prince!
Just look at my hair, it's all up in a pretty fritz!" [ZAP]
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids,
and expect them not to know what a Super Saiyan is.
Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit fourth grade - -
they've got Master Roshi's porno mags, don't they?
We ain't nuthin' but Nameks.
Well, 'cept for that prick Radditz,
who I dropped like a nasty habit. [AUGH!]
Well if we can wish back dead animals and antelopes
then I guess Yamucha's sex life still has some hope. [Eww!]
If you feel like I feel I've got the antidote.
Oolong, wish for panty hose!
Sing the chorus, and it goes...
(Chorus)
I'm Ma Junior
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all major losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
'Cause I'm Ma Junior.
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all frikin' losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
(Verse 2)
Hercule doesn't like to stick around for the fighting.
Well I do.
So f*ck him and f*ck Buu, too.
You think I give a d*mn about that phony?
Hell, I just wish Buu'd turn him into candy
or a log of baloney.
"But Junior, why you so harsh?
He's not really that bad."
Why? All he does is lie about you guys and steal our fame,
just like he did at the stupid Cell Games.
Sh*t, I wish I could just send him to Hell myself,
so he can meet up with the rest of the Ginyu Force;
and hear them argue over who gets to fry his Afro first.
Bulma Briefs likes to point and laugh at me.
"He's cute, but I hear he's a eunuch. Tee hee!"
I should download on audio and MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Vegeta V.D. [HA!]
I'm sick you little Saiyan brats. All you do is annoy me.
If it weren't for Goku I'd destroy you.
And there's a planet of Nameks just like me, who cuss like me,
who just don't give a f*ck like me.
Who dress like me.
Walk, talk, and act like me.
It just might be
the next best thing,
but not quite me!
(Chorus)
'Cause I'm Ma Junior.
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all major losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
'Cause I'm Ma Junior
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all frikin' losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
(Verse 3)
I'm like a head-trip to listen to.
'Cause I'm only giving you things you joke about with Korin
inside his living room.
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of Bulma,
and I don't have to be a wuss
like Vegeta or Goku at all.
I just get on the Lookout and spit it,
and, whether you like to admit it,
I'm more powerful than 90% of you fighters out there.
Then you wonder why Vegeta always shuts up
when I tell him.
It's funny -
'Cause at the rate I age I'll look like I'm thirty
and conquering the world when you're in the nursing home hurtin', [owwww]
tryin' to pull of a Gallik Gun and Kaokan and wonderin'
why this whole bag of Senzu Beans isn't workin'.
And every single person is a Daimao lurkin'.
He could be beating up the Ox King,
frying him like onion rings. [SIZZLE]
Or over West City, circlin',
screaming "I don't give a f*ck!"
and for kicks blow the city up.
So would the real Ma Junior please stand up
and put one of those fingers on each hand up
and be proud to be out of your mind and out of control
and, one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
(Chorus)
I'm Ma Junior.
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are just stupid losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
'Cause I'm Ma Junior
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are just stinkin' losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
'Cause I'm Ma Junior.
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all frikin' losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
'Cause I'm Ma Junior.
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all major losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
[Puff]
Heheh.
Guess there's a Ma Junior in all of us.
F*ck it.
Let's all stand up.
[Fade out]
The song finished, Piccolo tossed the microphone behind his back, the expression on his face clear indication that he was done (and VERY glad to have gotten it over with). Proceeding stage-left, he strolled through the firing squad of nasty looks and bitter sentiments (and the occasional tomato) with a very satisfied smirk.
"Who's next?"
To be continued...
************************************************************************
*I should've finished you when I had the chance.*
"Okay, the modifications are complete," Bulma Briefs emerged from underneath the contraption, splotches of oil pot-marking her normally peach face (which was odd, considering a karaoke machine doesn't NEED oil). She dusted her hands and, with her free foot, kicked the panel shut. "The machine is programed to pick the songs at random. Once chosen, the title will appear here." She pointed to a small video panel she had attached to the machine.
"And then I just make up the words as I go along, correct?"
"Clear to see why you're the brains of the group," she said sarcastically (but with an oh-so-lovable grin ^_^).
She continued to speak, this time addressing the anxiously waiting guests converged on the lawn. "Once the singer has completed the song, H.E.R.B.I.E.," she motioned to the hovering robot beside her, who waved back at the crowd with its minuscule robotic arms, "will then judge the competitor's performance."
"Wonderful," Piccolo said with all the enthusiasm of a spayed puppy.
Bulma continued. "So as to avoid any issues of succession, the next contestant will be chosen at random by the computer. And you WILL take your turn!" She focused this last one towards Yajirobe and Oolong, who were suspiciously far away from the group."
"Oh yeah?" Oolong huffed, folding his arms. "And what if we don't?"
[Kler-CHAK!]
The pair immediately found themselves staring down a pair of Gatteling Guns, which were attached to two giant mechas, which ALSO were being piloted by two chibi Saiya-jins.
"We have bacon for a week," Chibi-Trunks said with a devilish grin. Goten smacked his lips in hungry anticipation.
Oolong plopped back down on the ground, defeated.
"Poop."
"Enough with the exposition!" Vegeta hollered from his position beside the tree. "We were all here when you told us the first time!"
"I wasn't!" Yelled back Chaozu.
"Who cares? Get on with it, woman!"
Ignoring her husband (she'd make his suffer later tonight), the blue- haired CEO of Capsule Corp flipped the black switch behind the machine and, with Goku providing a drum-roll (using a pair of chicken legs as drum sticks and Master Roshi's head as a drum), pressed the shiny red "start" button.
"Let's get this contest started!"
*Click!*
Piccolo retreated back a step, moving away from the machine, anticipating an eruption of flames or some kind of impossibly powerful beast to leap out from the screen. (To be honest, that's what he was kind of HOPING for.)
Instead of fire or an evil creature, a familiar beat echoed from the speakers.
*These idiots want a song? I'll give them a song.*
Ignoring the laughs from the crowd, the Demon King quickly cleared his throat...
(A/N: Pop in those CD's, fire up those MP3's, and sing along with Piccolo as he performs HIS version of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady". Enjoy. ^_^)
[Krzzz!]
May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Ma Junior please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Ma Junior please stand up?
(We're gonna have a problem here.)
(Verse 1)
Y'all act like you've never seen a Namek before;
jaws all on the floor
like Goku and Chi Chi just burst in the door,
started whoopin' his @$$ worse than before
(Why won't he get a divorce?)
Hitting him with a skillet. [KLANG!]
"I'm the Prince of the..."
Oh, wait. No, wait. You're kidding.
Vegeta didn't just say what I think he did, did he?
And Kami-sama said...
NOTHING YOU IDIOTS!!!
Kami-sama's dead!
I swallowed him like Skittles! [Slurp!]
All your Saiyan kids love Piccolo -
"Chicka chicka chicka Ma Junior. I'm sick of him!
Look at him,
flying around, wearing that you-know-what,
doing that Demon Screw."
"Yeah, but he's so cool, though."
Yeah, probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose.
But no worse
than what's going on in Krillin's bedrooms. [Bark! Bark!]
Sometimes I just wanna put these peons in their place,
but can't.
But it's cool for Vegeta to rule a dead race.
"I am the Saiyan prince!
I am the Saiyan prince!
Just look at my hair, it's all up in a pretty fritz!" [ZAP]
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids,
and expect them not to know what a Super Saiyan is.
Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit fourth grade - -
they've got Master Roshi's porno mags, don't they?
We ain't nuthin' but Nameks.
Well, 'cept for that prick Radditz,
who I dropped like a nasty habit. [AUGH!]
Well if we can wish back dead animals and antelopes
then I guess Yamucha's sex life still has some hope. [Eww!]
If you feel like I feel I've got the antidote.
Oolong, wish for panty hose!
Sing the chorus, and it goes...
(Chorus)
I'm Ma Junior
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all major losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
'Cause I'm Ma Junior.
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all frikin' losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
(Verse 2)
Hercule doesn't like to stick around for the fighting.
Well I do.
So f*ck him and f*ck Buu, too.
You think I give a d*mn about that phony?
Hell, I just wish Buu'd turn him into candy
or a log of baloney.
"But Junior, why you so harsh?
He's not really that bad."
Why? All he does is lie about you guys and steal our fame,
just like he did at the stupid Cell Games.
Sh*t, I wish I could just send him to Hell myself,
so he can meet up with the rest of the Ginyu Force;
and hear them argue over who gets to fry his Afro first.
Bulma Briefs likes to point and laugh at me.
"He's cute, but I hear he's a eunuch. Tee hee!"
I should download on audio and MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Vegeta V.D. [HA!]
I'm sick you little Saiyan brats. All you do is annoy me.
If it weren't for Goku I'd destroy you.
And there's a planet of Nameks just like me, who cuss like me,
who just don't give a f*ck like me.
Who dress like me.
Walk, talk, and act like me.
It just might be
the next best thing,
but not quite me!
(Chorus)
'Cause I'm Ma Junior.
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all major losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
'Cause I'm Ma Junior
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all frikin' losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
(Verse 3)
I'm like a head-trip to listen to.
'Cause I'm only giving you things you joke about with Korin
inside his living room.
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of Bulma,
and I don't have to be a wuss
like Vegeta or Goku at all.
I just get on the Lookout and spit it,
and, whether you like to admit it,
I'm more powerful than 90% of you fighters out there.
Then you wonder why Vegeta always shuts up
when I tell him.
It's funny -
'Cause at the rate I age I'll look like I'm thirty
and conquering the world when you're in the nursing home hurtin', [owwww]
tryin' to pull of a Gallik Gun and Kaokan and wonderin'
why this whole bag of Senzu Beans isn't workin'.
And every single person is a Daimao lurkin'.
He could be beating up the Ox King,
frying him like onion rings. [SIZZLE]
Or over West City, circlin',
screaming "I don't give a f*ck!"
and for kicks blow the city up.
So would the real Ma Junior please stand up
and put one of those fingers on each hand up
and be proud to be out of your mind and out of control
and, one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
(Chorus)
I'm Ma Junior.
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are just stupid losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
'Cause I'm Ma Junior
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are just stinkin' losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
'Cause I'm Ma Junior.
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all frikin' losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
'Cause I'm Ma Junior.
Yes, I'm the real Junior.
All you other Ma Junior's are all major losers.
So won't the real Ma Junior please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
[Puff]
Heheh.
Guess there's a Ma Junior in all of us.
F*ck it.
Let's all stand up.
[Fade out]
The song finished, Piccolo tossed the microphone behind his back, the expression on his face clear indication that he was done (and VERY glad to have gotten it over with). Proceeding stage-left, he strolled through the firing squad of nasty looks and bitter sentiments (and the occasional tomato) with a very satisfied smirk.
"Who's next?"
To be continued...
************************************************************************