Poisonous Candy
Or: Hell on Clouds
Disclaimer: Lilo & Stitch belongs to me. In addition, I'm a unicorn.
Author's Note #2: Well, this isn't really a parody, but it is somewhat satirical in nature, so you could call it a parody. This is chiefly a humor/drama fan fiction, though.
Author's Note #3: This is the first of my Explore-Fics, in which I explore an element of human nature by using fanfic-style characters. (Chibizoo also likes to do that).
Author's Note #4: In case anyone is curious, I'm really a thirteen-year-old girl with a social disorder. Seriously, that wasn't a joke. I really do have a social disorder.
---
In a miniscule room in Jumba Jookiba's laboratory, an experiment was slumped on the floor. She looked black, but was actually dark gray. Her eyes were the color of fool's gold, the pupils of which were dirty yellow. The experiment's paw, chest, and stomach fur was white, mixed with a significantly lighter gray than the rest of the experiment's fur. She had a body shape like a fox cub, but her tail was smaller and less bushy. Since her fur was ruffled and rugged-looking, as if the experiment had just shaken her body after coming out of the water, she had a rather masculine look. This creature was Experiment 503, and her talent was causing thunderstorms. She was also somewhat irritable, and extremely unpleasant to be around when angry. Because of these traits, her nickname around the laboratory was Saucystormer.
At the time, Saucystormer was lying on the floor of a tiny room, and had not bothered to close the door. To the innocent passerby, it looked like the experiment contained within was merely resting, or perhaps sulking. This was not the case. Saucystormer was thinking of accurate, scathing insults to call those who picked on her, as well as witty comebacks to those who insulted her. She was getting tired of being called "Vixen," and some people hadn't learned their lessons.
Her malevolent daydreams were interrupted when another experiment came into the room. This one had the body shape of Experiment 624, but looked highly different. She was mostly green, for one thing. Instead having blunt ears and pipes like 624, those of this experiment had sharp tips at the ends. The fur on the chest and stomach was purple. Her wrists, ankles, and pipes were encircled with one wreath of plant per appendage. Currently, her wrists had yellow lily petals, her ankles had iris petals, and her pipes had white violet petals, which meant that she had good intentions. (The plants changed depending on the experiment's mood). It was Experiment 081, also known as Ivy. Her power was making vegetation grow.
"Hey, Saucystormer. I have some news for you."
Saucystormer stood up and stretched out her limbs. "What is it?"
Ivy clasped her hands together and smiled. "Jumba's made a new experiment, and he wants you to be the first to see it."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
Silently, Saucystormer left her room and walked to where Jumba designed his experiments.
"Oh, Five-Oh-Three! You are being here. Good," said Jumba, opening the door. "Come in."
He dug through his right coat pocket, and then plucked out a blue pod. Jumba placed the pod in his mouth, sucked on it for a few seconds, then spat it onto the floor. The wet pod began to glow.
"That's an unusual way to activate an experiment," remarked Saucystormer.
In the place of the pod stood a new experiment. He looked like a two-foot-tall rat, but there were still some bizarre things about his appearance. His fur was sky blue, and his chest and stomach fur was light gray. His eyes were mostly white, but closer inspection proved that the eyes contained hints of very pale blue. This coloring gave this experiment's eyes a misty, watery look.
"This is Experiment Five-Oh-Four," said Jumba. "His talent is making rain."
"But I already make thunderstorms."
"Ah, but you have been having trouble with the creating of precipitation, no?"
"No, I haven't," responded Saucystomer, even though she had.
504 stared at Saucystormer. She returned the stare.
"What's your point?" asked 504. He had a high, squeaky, and somewhat scratchy and raspy voice.
"My point is being that I was making Five-Oh-Four as companion for Five-Oh-Three. He is going to be helping you with rain."
"WHAT?!" Saucystomer began. She would have said more, but 504 shoved his paws over her (Saucystormer's) mouth. She could taste 504's paws, and they were disgusting. To counterattack, she gave a discreet bite to the paws over her mouth. 504 let out a tiny yelp of pain and grimaced.
"What what? You are going to be being great pals from now onward. Oh, Five-Oh-Three—make sure to be calling Five-Oh-Four by name of 'Cloudtooth.'
"Okay…Cloudtooth. Er, hi."
"Yeah. Hey there…what's your name?"
"Saucystormer."
Cloudtooth wanted to say "What a stupid name," but he held his tongue.
"See? That was not being so bad, was it? Now, remember: you have to be nice."
Both of the experiments flinched. Be nice? To each other? They exited the room.
Once they were out of there, Cloudtooth stared at Saucystormer. She returned the stare. Their glances held no indication of potential friendship or liking, only contempt.
"Why'd you bite me?"
"Why did you shove your scummy paws over my mouth?"
"To keep your trap shut, of course."
"Whaddaya mean, to keep my trap shut?"
They were unable to continue their conversation when Ivy rounded the corner. Her lily petals had been replaced with petals of dog rose, dragon's-wort was in the place of the iris petals, and azalea petals decorated Ivy's pipes. Her mood had changed considerably from when Saucystormer last saw her.
"Ooh! So you met Five-Oh-Four. You know, Saucystomer, he was made for you. Isn't that cute?" Ivy's facial expression suggested that its bearer knew what was really going on, but was getting a sadistic sense of enjoyment from not saying so.
The other two experiments sighed. They attempted to smile at each other. Ivy seemed satisfied with this.
"Aw, how sweet. Well, I'm off to the greenhouse." Humming a chipper-sounding tune, Ivy walked away from her fellow monsters.
Cloudtooth scampered away from Saucystormer, and she did the same.
I don't want to be seen with that loser, she thought, returning to her room.
---
The next day, Saucystormer woke up earlier than everyone else, or so she thought.
"I'm going to make myself some breakfast," she yawned. She stood up, stretched out her limbs, and made her way to the kitchen.
Imagine her surprise when she saw Cloudtooth pouring himself a bowl of Sugar-Frosted Wheat Flakes.
"Hey!"
This sudden interjection startled Cloudtooth, who toppled over and fell on his back.
"Yow!" he shouted.
Saucystormer was about to electrocute her nemesis, but Experiment 149 appeared the doorframe.
"Oh. Hi, Sauce," said 149. "I was jist gonna make myself some hotcakes. Well, some for me and One-Five-Oh. He's jist sleepin' like a log this mornin'. Guess I gotta bring 'em to 'im." 149 shrugged her shoulders and walked to the refrigerator. Unfortunately, she could not reach the freezer door.
"Hey; hey Sauce. Couldja gimmie a boost?"
"No problem," mumbled Saucystormer.
"Thanks. You're a real good gal, ya know that?"
149 stepped on top of Saucystormer's back. Saucystormer's legs shook, but she managed not to buckle under the weight, even though 149 didn't weigh very much.
Cloudtooth grabbed his bowl of cereal and scampered off into the hallway. He was blocked by a towering figure that just happened to be Jumba.
"Where are you thinking to where you are going?"
"Um, away from the kitchen?"
"Yes, but that is not being the full answer. You and Five-Oh-Three are due for V.R. test today."
Cloudtooth's face fell. Jumba picked him up the tail.
---
Later that day, Saucystormer and Cloudtooth had to do the unthinkable. They were forced to work as a pair in Jumba's virtual reality games, which was one of the ways experiments were trained. Oh, it was agony for the testers. Partnering up was the absolute last thing they wanted to do. Both of them would have gladly taken the useless Experiment 200 [1], the oft-annoying Ivy, or the mischievous Experiment 401 [2] over each other any day.
When it was finally over, Jumba told Saucystormer and Cloudtooth, "You see? Friendship is being very powerful and important thing."
This meant nothing to either of the experiments, for they were not friends.
---
Time passed, and Saucystormer and Cloudtooth tried to avoid each other as often as possible. Most of the other experiments assumed that the two of them were merely shy, but most of the other experiments were incorrect.
Saucystormer hated Cloudtooth because Jumba created him to make up for one of Saucystormer's problems. She didn't like to think that there was something wrong with her talent, and Cloudtooth reminded her of her weakness.
Cloudtooth hated Saucystormer because she had to depend on him to create better rain. To Cloudtooth, this was like being created to serve somebody. Not only that, but he felt like he was having his talent taken away from him.
Both of them despised each other, but the thing they despised more was the fact that they had to be good to one another. Neither experiment liked being made for each other, but they were forced to act like they did. They just hoped that they wouldn't run into Experiment 323.
Life was not fair, just like always. But this time, life's unfairness didn't come in the form of cruelty. It appeared as counterfeit sweetness and kindness, and refused to be corrected. It would not let the experiments show their true feelings.
Oh, no. They had to be nice.
THE END
P.S. I might write a filk (read: song parody) to go along with this story. Don't count on it, though.
[1] That's Patches.
[2] Before anyone tries to tell me, I know that Green Hope5 has her own Experiment 401, okay? The 401 mentioned above is the jokester, A.K.A. Gigglyn. She belongs to Mona.