2 / Meet the Queen's Shadow, Nanashi
It was like looking at the grim reaper with the utter certainty that he was there to claim your soul and there was nothing you could do about it. That was how bad seeing the black hooded figure seated at my table was. Nanashi, the Queen's Shadow was here. It seems like the fates would stop at nothing to force me back to that hell hole.
After what seemed like an eternity, I found my voice. "You're here…. you're here to kill me, aren't you?"
The cloaked man pulled back his hood. You would expect a man so carefully shrouded to be hiding some kind of deformity or something. That was not the case here. Nanashi was tall and though the cloak appeared bulky, I knew that he was slender, not feminine slender, but the slender of a man who was all whipcord and sinew. There was no excess about Nanashi...well, his hair not included. I never understood his gravity defying hair. His hair was a deep rich brown and cut short, except for the rather large lock of hair that sloped across his face to cover his right eye. Nanashi had nice eyes, deep green ones, the color of spring leaves. But like the rest of him, his eyes (or eye really) were mysterious, as if they were hiding secrets, secrets that he would take to the grave.
That was the first time that I saw the man unhooded, but I forced myself to stop giving him the once over and concentrate on getting out alive. He would not take me without a fight.
Quatra seemed to sense my resolve as he recovered from his shock. He drew his short sword and belatedly stood in front of me. I rolled my eyes. He was a little late, but I could take care of myself. I drew out my sword from the pocket of my dress, the fabric ruined from our attempt to save the garden from the heavy raid (not that I cared about the stuffy old dress).
My bodyguard gave me that 'don't interfere' look and I glared at him. Quatra wasn't my friend right now, he was carrying out his oath to protect and serve. He returned the glare and I hesitated. Quatra was only doing his job and the look he gave me had some of his familiar gentleness as he begged me to understand. I backed down and settled for watching, but that didn't mean that I wouldn't try my blade against his if worse came to worse, because I was only backing down to make Quatra feel better. I could've taken Nanashi...right?
"What do you want, Trowa?" Quatra asked. His usually pleasant voice was laced with steel.
It took me a moment to realize that Nanashi had been staring at me the whole time. His single visible eye flicked towards Quatra, but came to rest back on me. "I'm not here for you Quatra, but I am authorized to kill you if you interfere," Nanashi said in his quiet voice. It was unsettling how calm that man was, sitting at the table as if there weren't two armed and dangerous people standing not ten feet away from him.
I'm not sure if it was a good thing either, but they seemed to know each other on a first name basis. They probably knew each other from the Emerald Court. It wasn't like I knew who all of Quatra's friends and contacts were. He was my bodyguard, but also my friend and entitled to some privacy.
"Why is it you're here?" I asked cautiously, fingering the hilt of my sword.
"Trust me Princess; I would not be here if I had a choice."
"Ok, great, but you are here. Why?"
"The Queen sent me," he said, as if his answer explained everything.
"Why?" I asked. His answer explained nothing.
He looked at me with those emerald eyes and I saw a flash of unhappiness in them. Nanashi wasn't happy with the mission the Queen sent him on. I would have felt sorry for him if he wasn't here on a mission to probably eliminate me.
"Apparently Lord Eamon didn't deliver the message correctly, because Queen Ysandre said to come to court immediately. You are still here."
"She said she 'sought to mend the rift between us.' I've lived at court long enough not to believe in that pile crap. Now tell me what the hell she really wants or we'll settle this with swords! You trespass into my property demanding what you know I will never do!"
Then I panicked as the little speech I had given replayed in my mind. Had I really challenged the Queen's Shadow to a duel? No, I wasn't that stupid. Quatra's grip on my wrist told me otherwise.
Sweet Goddess, when will I learn to think before I speak?
Thankfully Trowa didn't hear, that or he thought that my challenge was beneath him. I didn't know which was worse.
"I do not know all of what my Queen's motives are and I won't try to guess them. She sent me here only to retrieve you and not to tell you what I do know until we are safely at court. I am Goddess sworn not to harm you on the journey there and all Jovians interfere with my mission on pain of death." It was clear that the last part was intended for Quatra.
Safely at court? Isn't that a paradox or something? As for his oath, I could pretty much believe what he said. Bad things happened if you broke a Goddess oath.
Nanashi sat at my dining room table and I had a million different questions, but I was still too shell-shocked at this revelation to say anything. Fortunately Quatra was the articulate one.
"How can you guarantee Makoto's safety? There are very dangerous things at court," Quatra said. It was obvious to everybody in the room that the 'things' were the Queen herself, Relena, and the Ravens. Well, at least Quatra didn't name them outright. I hoped that meant that he was learning discretion. He never was much of a politician.
"Queen Ysandre promised your safety to Jupiter…"
I forced myself not to laugh. Aunt Ysandre was very sneaky. She had sworn my safety to court but after that I was basically screwed. Her protection would be off me and I would be the target of Relena's attentions. No courtier or servant would help me. Nobody dared defied Ysandre's darling daughter. My aunt was aware of Relena's little games; she just pretended to ignore them. I only wished that I had moved to some deserted moon. It was too easy to get to Jupiter. In a day I would be back at court, trying to figure out how to stay alive.
But if Ysandre wanted me back, that meant she needed me, and if she needed me, why didn't she give me protection at court? Is it because she doesn't want to punish that spoiled brat, Relena? Or maybe…have things gotten that bad in court? I've been gone for three years and a lot can happen in that time…I knew what I needed to ask Nanashi.
"What has changed on Jupiter since I left?"
He looked away, unable to take my intense gaze, I guess. "I cannot answer that, Princess. I can only tell you that things aren't the same." Nanashi met my eyes again and the expression on his face kept me from asking more about it.
"What if we decide not to go?" Quatra asked.
"I am to take Makoto by any means necessary." A look of hurt crossed Quatra's face. I was beginning to wonder about how their previous friendship had ended.
My curiosity was at an all time high. I just had to go. There were so many questions that needed answers. I could take care of myself at court, give or take a few injuries. I still needed work on the political part. I still didn't know that trick that Ysandre used. She could make night sound like day. I wasn't that cleaver.
"It doesn't look like I have much of a choice. You win, Nanashi. Quatra and I will go with you first thing tomorrow morning." Trowa frowned at the mention of Quatra. It didn't look as if Quatra was supposed to come. "Look, Quatra goes or I don't care what you do, I will not go. He is just about my only friend at court and my only bodyguard. Do you think I am stupid enough to return to that hellhole without protection? He is the reason I am not dead already!"
I took my eyes off Nanashi for a moment and glanced at Quatra. He looked at me with an expression crossed between tenderness and something else. Nanashi's tired sigh brought my attention back to him. He closed his eyes.
"Very well, princess. He may come with us, but the Queen will not like it..."
Since when have I ever cared what the Queen thought...oh, that's right, since she introduced me to her friend, Azren, the torturer. I shuddered and tried not to recall my sessions with the grinning old man. The last one had been when I was 16, for refusing to entertain some ambassador's son at a ball. The whip he used was lined with doe fur. He didn't want to leave any scars on my royal backside. That didn't mean that it still didn't hurt like hell. You never say no to the queen.
"I don't want to think about her right now. I'll have to see enough of her tomorrow. Now since I can't ask you any questions that you will actually answer, I'd like to actually start dinner. The food is cold and since it's your fault, Nanashi, you can just help me reheat it." Nanashi's eye widened. He didn't expect that from me.
Quatra once told me that I trusted too easily. That's not true. I still didn't trust Nanashi, but since he couldn't kill me, well, I figured I might as well get to know my enemy.
"You might as well listen to her, Trowa. She's very...persistent," added Quatra as he set the forgotten plate of rolls onto the table.
Trowa still didn't give me an answer, or at least not a verbal one. He simply stood from his seat and walked towards me. Ok, I was more then a little startled by that. Nanashi walked towards me and it didn't look like Quatra was going to stop him. I considered drawing my sword, but stopped when Nanashi knelt in front of me, or at least I thought he was kneeling. I was more shocked to discover he was picking up the forgotten salad.
Without another word, he carried the bowl to the kitchen. It took me a moment to get over the fact that Nanashi, the Queen's Shadow, was actually cleaning. I gathered my scattered brain and hurried after him.
When I caught up with him in the kitchen, I asked the one question that had really been bothering me. "Are you fine with being called Nanashi? I mean, it wasn't like you picked it or anything. Ysandre did. It does add to you…mysteriousness. Queen's Shadow is what the courtiers call you when you're not around, but I guess you must know that. What would you rather be called? I know that Trowa Barton is your real name, but it's not like you correct people or anything?" I stopped as Quatra coughed politely from behind me. I was babbling again.
"So...um...I'll just go and prepare some more salad. Um...Nanashi, you can go watch the stew in the hearth over there. It was supposed to be the main course. Quatra you can go...just go entertain yourself or something."
Smart, Makoto, I thought while running out to the garden. It had stopped raining, but the ground was still wet and soft beneath my bare feet. I had tossed out those horrible slippers a long time ago.
Right now it was spring, so my little garden was doing nicely. I didn't like to waste food though, especially food from the earth. Trowa would here it from me later. I couldn't really spare him, even if he was the Shadow. Quatra was one of the best swordsmen in the universe, but that still didn't stop me from chewing him out when he burned my cooking pots.
It wasn't until I returned to the house that I realized I felt safe with the mysterious man. Only half an hour ago, I thought he was here to kill me...now...now he doesn't seem that bad. He even helped me to clean up. Damnit Mako, maybe Quatra was right. I am getting too trusting. Living on earth has made me soft. I shook my head as I reached the kitchen, a bag filled with fresh ingredients in hand.
Quatra made as if to help me, but I stopped him. "No you are getting nowhere near my vegetables or any cutting board. You might be good with a sword, but you are worse then Usagi when it comes to cooking." I included Nanashi, who was stirring the large pot at the hearth, in my gaze. He didn't answer. I didn't expect one. Nanashi wasn't much of a talker, I could see that already.
"But Makoto, I-"
"You stay there and help our guest or something." I knew perfectly well that Nanashi didn't need any help, but at least Quatra could stay away from my kitchen utensils. Hopefully Nanashi didn't do anything stupid like letting Quatra stir. That was a disaster waiting to happen.
As I chopped lettuce on my cutting board, I could hear the faint murmurs of a conversation from across the kitchen. It looked like Quatra was attempting to start a conversation but Nanashi remained silent. I would have tried to hear, but I don't have any of the Shadow's stealth. I'd probably trip over a stool or something.
I couldn't help thinking about my old life and Relena. She wasn't evil or anything, at least not towards people she deemed important. But she was insanely jealous and could hold a grudge for a long time. She still hated me and was probably plotting my death while I was chopping lettuce. I don't exactly hate Relena, but she makes it really hard to like her. At court she made my life a living hell, spreading rumors, causing accidents, sending her Ravens on me, making sure I didn't have any friends.
"Makoto, what did that tomato ever to you?" asked Quatra from behind me.
I blinked away those thoughts and realized that I had reduced my tomato to mush. Thinking about Relena just brought out the worst in me.
"Can you go set the table for three now? I'll take care of this mess and go back out there."
"Of course, Makoto. Just make sure to take your anger out on the punching bag tomorrow morning, not our dinner," he said with a grin.
I salvaged what I could of the mush and took the bowl of chopped salad out. Nanashi was still by the hearth, stirring the stew.
"Erm...Nanashi. You can stop stirring now. It should be fine for awhile. Why don't you go out to the table too? Dinner is ready."
He set down the large ladle and gave me the full force of his gaze. "Trowa," he whispered.
"What?"
"Call me Trowa."
Shocked, I nodded and watched Trowa leave. I realized that I was still nodding, even as Nanashi, I mean Trowa, left. Other then shock, I felt strangely honored. It didn't look like many people got to call the Shadow by his real name. Yay for me, I guess.
I began to feel anxious for the next day as I followed Trowa into the next room. It wasn't that I was happy to go back to Jupiter. I just had the odd urge that something was going to happen soon and I had to be there. Plus, tomorrow's trip would definitely be interesting. With luck, I'll wheedle some info out of Trowa or at least ask Quatra how he knew the Shadow...
----
The next day I really did take my anger out on a punching bag. It was shaped like a man, was very heavy, and filled with sand. Quatra had bought it for me when I turned 20. He knew me that well. The bag hung in the room that was once the sitting room of the former Lady of the house. Now it was a training room. I always had a strong passion for fighting.
I was hot and sweaty by the time the sun rose. It was my morning ritual. I wouldn't mind being a soldier. Unfortunately I was a princess. Lucky me. If I had one wish, well it was pretty obvious what I'd wish for. Oh wouldn't Relena be so happy then? She would be the only heir and the Queen would die mysteriously. The new Queen would be that Relena.
"Ugggh! She makes me want to break something," I screamed, continuing to let the bag have it.
"Makoto."
I didn't even stop my exercises since I knew who that voice belonged to. It was only Quatra.
"Maybe you should slow down or something, Makoto. We have a long day today..." He laughed nervously.
"Listen to him, princess," said a calm, nearly emotionless voice.
That nearly caused me to stop my assault on the defenseless punching bag. Trowa was there too? Great. That's all I need.. I pretended not to here them.
"Makoto. It's not good to exercise when you're so angry."
"Me? Angry? Who says I'm angry," I forced out through gritted teeth. By that time, the punching bag wasn't in the best shape.
"Relena," Trowa said simply.
My fist connected with the sand filled head of the bag. It flew across the room. Me? Angry? Of course not.
I unwrapped the linen strips from my fists and threw them to the floor. The first part of my morning routine was done. I only had my sword routines left. I did my best to pretend like the two weren't there, but running through sword work was unnerving with them just watching me.
"She will injure herself at that rate," said Trowa. He turned on his heel and headed for the door.
"Don't you think I know that? It's just that Makoto is so...stubborn and determined! She won't listen to me if I tell her to stop. Save her, Trowa."
I decided to take Quatra's comment as a compliment. Why should I stop? I needed to be strong if I had any hope of surviving court. Quatra knew that. Besides, the defeat in his voice seemed to have more to do with his past relationship with Trowa then it did with me.
The blunt practice sword in my hands did not stop moving. I would stop when I was ready to. Still, I felt Trowa's presence in the room like a weight at the back of my mind. Why hadn't he left yet?
"Like you saved Catherine?"
I had stopped my sword practice completely to watch the scene. If I wasn't mistaken, the Shadow was being petty. This wasn't about me anymore, if it ever was. It was about Quatra and Trowa and this Catherine. Whatever happened to them had ended whatever relationship the two men had. Was Catherine a lover? Was it some sort of love triangle? Did she die?
"That's not fair, Trowa. You know that I tried. I would have given her my life if there was a way." Quatra's voice was thick with sadness, enough to choke on. He didn't cry though. It was an old hurt, though it ran deep.
"You saved me, but I am not alive. I am not complete."
A single glimmering tear drown the Shadow's cheek. I knew already that for him that single tear was the same as breaking down completely. I wanted to do something, to wipe the hurt from both of their faces, but I could do nothing.
"Trowa. Quatra," I whispered.
They didn't seem to realize that I was there until that moment. Trowa's mask of calm was back in place, not betraying a single emotion. Quatra forced a smile on his face, as if he didn't want me to see him as anything but happy.
"I...I think I'm done training for today," I said, breaking the awkward silence.
"We leave in one hour, princess," Trowa said, before exiting.
"Don't call me princess..." The scene I witnessed had unnerved me. I didn't have the heart to yell at Trowa anymore.
"Come on, Makoto. I'll help you pack."
The smile on Quatra's face look strained, but I didn't comment. I am not that cruel. Whatever had happened to this Catherine was none of my business. I accepted his offer though, and tried to pretend like I didn't just witness Trowa crying or Quatra defeated. It was hard.
----
An hour later we were packed and ready to go. I had too many things on my mind now to be worrying about Quatra or Trowa. We were actually on our way to the Emerald Kingdom or rather; we would have been if I hadn't been assailed by an overly concerned Merle.
"…are you sure, Makoto? Do you need anything? Any more clothes, books, food? You need something, surely. How about a hat? We can't let you catch a cold. You could-" I cut Merle off before in mid sentence. She was a nice person, but very motherly. If I didn't stop her, then I probably would have ended up taking the manor with me.
"We're fine, Merle. It's you I should worry about, staying here in the manor alone. We will be gone for awhile. Maybe-" this time she cut me off.
"I'm fine, Makoto." We both laughed at that. She was the mother I never knew and of everything I was leaving behind, I would miss her the most. Merle didn't ask questions. She probably suspected that I was more then a country Lady, but she never pried. She cared about me all the same. Somehow, I doubted that my dear Auntie Ysandre would allow me back on earth for a while, if she even allowed me to live.
My white gelding, Lightning, was already loaded with all the necessities for the six hour ride to the earth's inter-planetary portal at the earth's crown city. It also had a dress to wear for my unavoidable meeting with Ysandre. The rest of our things would arrive the next day.
At dinner Trowa had told us that the Queen wanted us there yesterday. He wouldn't hear any of our excuses. It was a very quiet dinner.
I mounted Lighting, who was not a very remarkable horse physically, mostly at least. He was a large horse (he'd have to be, for a tall girl like me) and his fur was a rich brown, the color of fresh turned earth. His eyes were the color of amber. That was the only physical trait that marked him as abnormal. It didn't bother me. He was gentle as a lamb, at least with me. I thought he was the best horse in the galaxy. Lightning probably was the fastest and he had the stamina to match, too. I saved him from the slaughterhouse. Nobody wanted to buy him because they thought it was some demon creature, since his eyes weren't the normal shade of black, blue, or brown. As expected, I bought him. Relena used it to spread the rumor I was in league with Darkness, which nobody who knew me believed. Or at least those people who tried to get to know me, which were few.
Quatra was next to me on Sandrock, his freakishly strong tan horse. It was almost the size of a warhorse and, though sturdy, it was about as ugly. With Quatra's gentle attitude, you'd expect him to go for a gentle horse. But no, that horse was anything but gentle.
"Ready?" Trowa asked from atop his black horse, Nanashi (which made calling Trowa, Nanashi, very unsettling when the horse answered). I nodded.
There was no need to stop and make adjustments to the gear. We didn't have much gear. I rode bareback. It wasn't like this was going to be a long ride or anything, unfortunately.
After Trowa pushed his horse into a canter, I looked at Quatra and realized that he was waiting on me. It looked like he was supposed to take the rear. They never let me have any fun. I wondered what would happen if we were to be attacked…they probably wouldn't let me fight. Though I wasn't an Immortali, I could hold my own in a fight.
We'll just see if we do get attacked. I will not sit down and let them take all the fun!
Before I could so much as signal Lighting, I heard a soft whining. Looking down I saw my white wolf cub, Aynia...
"You brought a pet," Trowa said simply as I caught up with him. I slowed into a canter.
"It's not just any pet, it's my Aynia," I said indignantly. The puppy peeked out from under my traveling cloak at its name. Trowa didn't comment further. He simply raised Nanashi to a gallop. I, never one to be beaten, urged Lightning into a gallop. Quatra's reluctant sigh could be heard as he matched our pace.
As we galloped towards the Golden City, I half-hoped that we would be attacked by bandits or something. That would certainly make the trip more exciting. I wouldn't mind a fight. It would at least take my mind off of worrying about Jupiter and the many disasters that could have befallen my planet. Relena was the last person I wanted to think about at the moment, especially since I had many conveniently sharp objects on my person.
Author's Notes
I considered switching the P.O.V. to Trowa, but then decided against it. I don't want this story to get confusing with too many switches in point of view. Anywho, hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's a lot longer then the original. Readers of the original Blood Ties (or Fly Me to the Moon) might have noticed several new scenes. I wanted to keep it interesting. I even added Catherine. She's the same one from Gundam Wing and as to what role she plays in my twisted story, you'll just have to wait and see.
I'm also sorry about the lack of indentation. The format gets screwed up whenever I upload and I'm too lazy to manually do it. Hope you don't mind. I used wordpad to write it. ; Next time I'll type it up on my pc, instead of this bootlegged one.
As usual, leave a review. Critiques are wonderful. I need them to keep me in line. BTW, do Quatra and Trowa seem to be no more then footnotes to you guys? I want them to have a bigger role, but it's difficult since this story is in first person. Well, at least Makoto is more in character. You can't have it all I guess.
Acknowledgements
Athena Kyle :Whoops. That must have slipped out from the editing. In the original story, Trowa was called the Queen's Slayer, I edited it to Queen's Shadow. Guess I missed that part. I hope I didn't confuse anybody that much. More Quatra goodness in this chappie. He and Mako will have a little heart to heart in the next chapter if all goes according to plan. But shh. Don't tell anybody I told you that. ;
Black- Fire Eclipse: drools Trowa. I had a fun time working him in the chapter and giving more insight to his character. He isn't as silent and emotionless as people might think, not in this story at least.
babymar-mar: Wow. Thanks for such a high compliment. I'm really happy to hear it.
EternalHime: I'm glad you like this story better. I felt I had to edit it because my writing style has changed so much (for the better I hope). This story is Golem tone my precious. I added more insight to Quatra and Trowa. My biggest fear is that they will only be footnotes. I'm working on some Makoto on Trowa or Quatra action on the next chapter. I think that it's hard to give so much insight because the point of view is so limited since it's all what Makoto sees and feels. In the original story, I switched from first person to third person omniscient so it was easier to get to know the other characters. Now I've decided to stick to one P.O.V....I'm almost regretting it. ; Well, I guess these hardships come with being a writer, even a fanfiction writer. Thanks for keeping me in line. The Trowa/Quatra scene really came from your comment.
Jupiterlover: I'll probably go with the multi-romance. I don't know if anybody noticed the small hinting of romance between Quatra and Makoto. It won't be so subtle later. I e-mailed you too, btw. Thanks for your help.
Monou Hakkai: Quatra loves Makoto's cooking but we can see in the anime that she's very motherly. She stuffs him full up, whether he likes it or not. I wish I had somebody to cook for me. -- I'm glad you saw Mako's ex-fiance as creepy. I wanted him to look greedy, arrogant, selfish and the epitome of a jerk. He'll appear later on, when they arrive at the Emerald Kingdom. In Gundam Wing Quatra did sometimes show facades other then kindness, but not as often. This story will be the same way. Maybe I'll have Quatra go berserk sometime. I don't remember the details from the anime clearly, but I vaguely remember him going psycho. Now that would be interesting. I probably have to go online to read some Trowa profiles. I'm ashamed to admit that out of all the Gundam Wing characters, I remember the least about him. Thanks for your reassurance, M.A. Now I think I'm doing better at keeping Mako in character.
Serenity Blossom: I'm glad you liked it. More of the same is coming up.
JupLuna: I wanted to leave this chapter at a cliffhanger, to add even more drama and suspense, but I'm not that evil. You'll just have to make do with the foreshadowing (though there is not so much in this chappie). I reread the original after seeing your review and I have to agree, the other story left a lot to be desired. Thank goodness I decided to redo it.