Thanks everyone for reviewing!

Madame Arrow Foxfire: Weasely goodness? No, I haven't used her weasels lately, have I? They might show up in the Bishie Abduction story soon... Maybe there'll be flying squirrels. Randomness.

omjsaiyan: I'm writing more. See?

kaida13: Woohoo for mayham! Let's kill it. (it's evil! But it makes for good 'humorous situations'...)

firedragongirl: I hope it is too. This crap is just random things off the top of my head that I write down and hope it's funny.

Shishou Youkai: Wait no longer! Chapter two is here! Wooo! Maybe I'll drown Kuwabara. He needs it, don't you think?

chocogurl: That's why the beach is such a perfect setting. SO many things can happen at a beach... *laughs insanely* Actually, there's something lovely that happens within the first few paragraphs that involves Shadow and a little kid. *evil*

Dark Angel3450: Thanks. I'm going to torture Hiei a good bit in this story, can you tell?

Kitsune: (I'm assuming the two anonymous reveiwers named Kitsune are the same person) Woohoo. And I feel honored that you decided to call your dog Shadow. Let's just hope she doesn't end up as stupid as Shadow is... ^.~

Artemis Cangee: Merry New Year, have some more story. See what happens. Be my guest. ^_^

Liei: *sigh* You're weird. The Kuwabara thing is a possibility... But I have other things to do with Hiei... *insane laughter*

Riyo Shiban: Yes, multi-tasking... It's not great fun, but I can do it. Most of the time. And you don't even want to know where I get all my ideas from. Some of them just randomly pop into my head (scary) and others are inspired by real things that happen to me or that I talk about with my best friend... *sigh* My life is insane.

sansay: You have a stuffed weasel? Ah. Interesting. Yes, the people can bow down and kiss my new steel-toed boots. *insane laugh*

Draikitha: Yay! Two words! (Just kidding, thanks for taking the time to write those two words and send it in...)

blue fox demon: Yeah, Hiei gets tortured even more in this chapter. ^_^

Ejineko: Uh... Whatever. O_o

That's it, kids. Read on. *That reminds me of a song... Like... "Dream on" or something like that.*

CHAPTER TWO

Sand. Evil, evil sand. Let's kill it.

"Sun, sand, and surf," Shadow said, hopping out of the van and stretching. "What more could you want?"

"Home," Hiei said. Shadow clobbered him. "Owwww."

They were parked along the side of the road above a nice beach. Of course, there was a sign that said "NO OVERNIGHT PARKING," so that's not where they would leave their van when they were sleeping, but this was temporary. It was about 4:30 in the afternoon, so they still had plenty of time before it was dark and the giant sharks came out to feed on stupid people who are dumb enough to be in the water at night.

"Come on, Hiei. Beaches have lots of people. Maybe you can find some little children to eat," Eclipse said, stepping out of the van behind them.

"What? I don't eat little kids!"

"I do," Shadow said.

O_O

"Uh... Sure, Shadow," Hiei said, inching away. "Whatever."

"WOOHOO!!!"

Yusuke and Kuwabara came flying out of the van, over the trio's heads, and raced towards the water. The two boys were already in their swim trunks. Shadow turned to Hiei.

"See? They're all for it, why aren't you?"

"Because I am not a baka," Hiei said.

"Sure y'aren't," Shadow said. "So if you're not going into the water, and you don't want to be on the beach, and I have the keys to the van, what are you going to do all day while we're on the beach?"

"Sleep. Burn stuff. Kill stuff," Hiei said, shrugging.

"No you aren't. You're gonna swim," Shadow said. "You do know how to swim, don't you?"

"Yes, baka!"

"Just making sure."

Hiei walked down onto the beach, mumbling something that sounded a lot like "Baka girl is so stupid she can't tell blood from water."

"I CAN TOO! Blood tastes better!" Shadow hollered after him. Several people nearby stared at her. She hissed like a cat, bared her fangs, and their little girl burst into tears. Shadow laughed.

"Ah, this is the life," she said, following Hiei down onto the beach. Eclipse trailed after her with a look of horror on her face. Kurama finally got out of the van and followed.

Kuwabara and Yusuke were already killing each other, throwing blobs of wet sand and sea shells and the like.

Shadow caught up to Hiei. "So?"

"What?"

"Are you going to do your best to have fun?"

"No."

"Ah. Then I have no choice," Shadow said, stopping. Hiei stopped a couple steps ahead of her and looked back suspiciously.

"No choice? What?"

Whack!

Hiei was tackled by an insane teenage girl and the two went rolling down the beach. Shadow ended up on top of Hiei, and Hiei was inches away from the wet sand line the waves had made.

"Get off me, Shadow!" he ordered.

"Huh-uh."

Yusuke noticed them. All he saw was Shadow laying on top of Hiei and his mind went in the perverted direction.

"Are you sure you want to be doing that now?" he called from behind them. "Isn't that more of a night activity? The kind of thing you do in private?"

"YUSUKE URAMESHI! I swear to God, as soon as Shadow gets off me, I am going to injure you!" Hiei screamed, squirming.

"Have fun," Shadow said, rolling off. Hiei lunged at Yusuke and chased him down the beach while the rest of the group stared.

"Well, I'm supposing that's how the rest of our vacation will be," Eclipse said. "Hiei attempting to brutally murder us all."

"And Hiei succeeding in brutally murdering Kuwabara since he's so damn slow," Shadow said. Then she shrugged. "Hey, as long as he's not moping or burning stuff, I'm okay. But I am going to make him swim."

"Yeah, good luck," Kurama said. "You'll need it."

By the time Hiei and Yusuke (who was covered in bruises and bumps), got back to the group, they were all in their swimwear, lying on the beach, swimming, or, in Kuwabara's case, making sandcastles. Shadow was no where to be seen.

Eclipse was in waist deep water. Kurama was nearby poking at some planty thing growing underwater.

This was one of those nice beaches that you could wade all the way out until you were completely underwater. The waves weren't enormous here, but there was a beach not far away that was like... surfer dude central. Ya know? Giant waves and such?

Hiei looked around. Being as it was a calm day, there were barely any waves, and the water was clear, he should have been able to find Shadow instantly. However, she was nowhere to be seen. He walked over to Kuwabara.

"Where's Shadow?" he asked. Kuwabara looked up.

"I dunno." He returned to his sandcastle. Hiei shrugged.

"Maybe she died," he said.

"Probably. She probably got hit by a car," Yusuke said.

"Shut up," Hiei said, spinning around and punching Yusuke in the face. Again.

"Owww..." Thud.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Hiei's head snapped up. That was most definitely Shadow. He searched the water. The only person out there was a lunatic doing tight donuts on a water ski.

"SHADOW JAGANSHI!" Hiei screamed, so loud his voice cracked.

"WOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"SHAAAAAAAAAAAAADOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!"

"She's not going to hear you, Hiei," Kurama called. "She's having too much fun."

"Fun. Right," Hiei said. He was growing to hate that word. He started walking up the beach. Before he realized it, Shadow was shooting towards the shore. She got close to him, then spun a perfect 180 degree turn and shot away, spraying water up and drenching Hiei. He stood there fuming for several minutes, not moving at all. His friends watched him, silent and half expecting him to kill something. Instead, he pulled off his drenched shirt and dove into the water.

"Did he just jump in?" Eclipse asked, startled. "In the water?"

"Yes. That's how it looks," Kurama answered, watching the top of the water for Hiei to surface.

"I never thought he would get near the water," Yusuke said. "Let alone in it."

"He's not coming back up," Kurama said.

"Maybe he can't swim," Kuwabara said. Just as he said that, Hiei's head broke the surface about 40 yards out. He took a couple deep breaths, then went back under.

"Shadow's dead," Eclipse said dryly. "Hiei is so going to fry her."

"Awesome!"

Eclipse spun around and punched Yusuke in the face.

"Where are you going, Kurama?" she said, noticing the redhead wading farther out into the water.

"Swimming," he answered, then dove under.

"I bet he just wants to get a better view when Shadow gets murdered," Yusuke said. Shwack.

"SHUT UP," Eclipse said.

Hiei could see the bubbles Shadow's water ski made. She was almost directly above him. As he watched, the bubbles slowed down, then there were no more. Shadow had stopped. From under the ski, Hiei watched Shadow look across the ocean towards the beach. Looking for him, no doubt. He smirked and a few bubbles escaped his mouth.

Shadow noticed a few bubbles rise up and looked down. There was nothing there. She must have imagined it. Suddenly, something bumped her ski. Her eyes widened and she looked down, expecting to see a shark. There was nothing there. Just as she reached for her acceleration, something grabbed her ankle. She nearly screamed. Looking down, she saw a hand, attached to a dark form under her ski. She couldn't make out what it was, but since it had a hand, was kind of sure who it might be.

"Well, that rules out shark," she said, starting to calm down. Reaching down, she grabbed the hand's wrist and jumped as the dark form broke the surface.

"HIEI!" she yelled, surprised and relieved at the same time. "I was expecting Yusuke or Kurama... But it's you! You're in the water!"

"Duh..."

"Wow! It's amazing, though! Why?"

"Well, I figured that since you had already drowned me while I was on dry land, jumping in the water wouldn't hurt me any worse," the little demon answered, letting go of Shadow's ankle.

"True... What's that?" Shadow said, pointing behind Hiei at the water. Hiei spun around just as Kurama surfaced behind him.

"It's a fox-boy," Hiei answered dryly.

"Hello to you too," Kurama said.

"Well, since we're out here, I might as well swim, don't you think?" Shadow said. "Make way!"

"What?"

Hiei turned to see Shadow was standing on the seat of her water ski. Hurriedly, he and Kurama swam away, then turned back to watch. She did a perfect flip off the seat and hit the water in cannonball position.

"Bravo," Kurama said. Shadow swam under the two guys and surfaced behind them, putting her arms around their shoulders.

"Hi guys! Hiei, I notice you're still wearing pants and boots. You know that's gonna take ages to dry, being as we don't exactly have a drier."

"I wasn't going to mess around with changing. What was the point? Like I said, I was already soaked," Hiei said. "Thanks to you."

Shadow smiled innocently. Hiei sighed and sunk under water.

"Oo?" Shadow said, looking down as Hiei did flips underwater. "He's just as acrobatic underwater as anywhere else."

"What do you expect? He's Hiei," Kurama said.

"Huh." Shadow let her eyes off Hiei for a second. That was a second too long. Before she realized it, she was pulled underwater.

"Glub garble glorp!"

Hiei's smirking face floated in front of Shadow. She took a swing at him, and missed. She lunged at him and wrapped her arms around his waist as he attempted to shoot to the surface. It took a second longer, but he broke the surface and Shadow clawed her way up him until her arms were wrapped around his chest and her head was above the water. After gasping for breath for a second, Shadow glared at Hiei.

"Uh oh," Kurama muttered. Shadow grabbed Hiei's neck and strangled him, shaking him back and forth like a rag doll.

"BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA!!!"

Hiei's eyes turned into swirls and he floated up to the surface on his back.

"Eeeeeeeh..."

"That's great, Shadow. Now you've got to tow him back to shore," Kurama said.

"No prob," Shadow said, hopping onto the water ski. "Got some rope?"

"Oh, of course. I stash rope in my swimming trunks all the time," Kurama said sarcastically. "No, I don't. Put him on the seat in front of you."

Shadow towed Hiei back to shore and dumped him on the sand like a sack of potatoes. He still had swirly eyes, a stupid smile, and wasn't moving.

"Oi! Eclipse! Get me a shovel!" Shadow called.

"Yes, Your Highness," Eclipse said sarcastically. She walked to the van and pulled a plastic shovel out of the back.

"Here you go, great master," she said sarcastically, glaring and handing the shovel to Shadow.

"Thank you, lackey," Shadow said, grinning. She started digging a large hole.

A few minutes later, Hiei was being held upright in the hole by Kurama.

A few minutes after that, Hiei was buried neck-deep in sand. Then he happened to wake up.

"Huh? SHADOW!" he yelled. "Is this your doing?"

Shadow, who was sitting right next to him on a beach blanket applying sun block, smiled. She pulled her sunglasses down on her nose.

"Do I look like the type of person to bury my friend neck-deep in sand?" she asked, opening an umbrella and positioning it to shade herself and Hiei.

"Yes. You do," Hiei answered, thrashing. "Ow! Something is pinching me..."

"Probably sand fleas," Shadow answered.

"Sand fleas?"

"You've never seen them? They look like fleas, only bigger, and they live in sand, not on dogs."

"Well excuse me, but I've never seen a flea up close," Hiei said. "They just look like black dots, and this is REALLY ANNOYING... The sand is going to irritate my skin... It already is irritating my skin."

"It could have been worse. I considered a couple things, but since you weren't awake to beg me not to, I decided it would be more fun to wait. Now..." Shadow picked up a stick and walked down the beach a ways, carefully walking around Kuwabara's growing sand village with the sand guardian castle on the sand mountain above the sand huts. She walked down the beach, bent down, and scooped up a glob of clear goo on the end of the stick. When she got back to Hiei, he saw it was a jellyfish.

"Oh, shit. No, Shadow," Hiei said, struggling wildly in his sand prison. "Back! Back! Sit! Heel! Lay down! Roll over! Go away! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

Shadow was in fits of laughter. Hiei was struggling insanely, but Shadow had packed the sand good and he was stuck. He could feel the sand loosening around him, but not enough to do much good. Concentrating, he made the goo on Shadow's stick burst into flames.

"Ha!"

"Sigh. Fine... I'll dig you out. ECLIPSE!!!"

"WHAT?!" came Eclipse's annoyed response.

"Dig Hiei out of the hole."

"No!"

"DO IT, LACKEY!"

"SHUTUP!"

"Grrrrr. You wanna mess with me, girl? Huh?" Shadow challenged. "You mess with me, you die."

"Sure, whatever."

Shadow lunged at Eclipse and strangled her.

"I'm gonna be here a while," Hiei muttered to himself.

It was starting to get dark when Shadow finally had Hiei dug out of the hole.  Then she realized she had a small problem. The two of them were stuck in an almost-five-foot-deep hole and it was high tide. It hadn't been high tide when Shadow dug the hole. Now it was. The hole time she had been undigging it, the sand had been getting wetter and wetter. Now it was knee-deep, murky, mucky, sandy water.

"Yuck," she said, tossing the shovel up to the beach. Some more water spilled over the side of the hole and dribbled onto Hiei's shoulder. He sighed and grabbed the edge of the hole. The sand caved in.

"Nice. This is your fault, Shadow," he said.

"I'll give you a boost," Shadow said.

"I don't need a boost. I can jump. Can you?"

"I never thought of that. No, I probably can't."

"Try."

Shadow jumped up and got halfway out of the hole, grabbed for something solid, failed miserably, and ended up on her butt in the murky sandy water.

"God, Shadow. Come on," Hiei said, grabbing her wrist and dragging her out of the hole.

"Great. We can't sleep in these clothes, you know."

"We can't sleep at all until you two get in the van!" Kurama called from the side of the road. "Remember? No overnight parking? We gotta find somewhere that'll allow us."

"Oh yeah. Come on," Shadow said, leading Hiei up to the attached camped. The two got in and they started on their way. Shadow pulled a curtain across the middle of the camper and they changed on opposite sides. Hiei curled up on one of the beds and realized he felt really miserable.

"I feel dirty," he said. "Sandy."

"So do I, but I'm sure not to the same extent as you," Shadow said, pulling back the curtain. She sat down on one of the beds in the camper and ran a brush through her hair.

"Eek... Tangles!"

Hiei sighed. How pathetic. Then a hand went to his hair.

"Eek! Tangles!"

................................................................................................

Hee hee. I know, Hiei would never care if his hair had tangles. I just thought that'd be funny... or maybe just strange. In case you haven't noticed, all characters in all my fics are OOC. Except maybe Kuwabara. ^_^ Unless he acts smart. And Yusuke isn't way too OOC, not like Hiei and Kurama. But hey, nobody has seemed to mind my OOC-ness.