I AM SO FREAKING SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN TWO MONTHS!
I just figured the two chapters I'd written ages ago but hadn't posted contributed absolutely nothing to the story, so I didn't post them, but people have been complaining, so I decided what the heck, I'll post them. Don't say I didn't warn you, though: These two chapters deal with some scary crap.
Now on to the 25 reviews.

Robin Autumn- Heh heh heh... You can shoot me if you want... But I did update.
Silver Sniper- I wrote more, then I didn't post it. You can shoot me too, if it'll make you feel better...
animerocker- Because I felt like torturing Yusuke and Kuwabara... You know, I have this problem. I keep typing "Kuwabra." That's... not normal.
Mari Youma- I bet you take back that "I would never throw stuff at you" since it took me two months to update...
Madame Arrow Foxfire- I know I have a perverted mind... It comes from hanging out with the people I do...
PeachRox- New chapter. Two months later. Yes. Heh heh. Sorry.
kaida13- Who knows. Maybe she brought the singing shoes with her! And use your imagination about the thing in the bathroom... You never know what you'd find. It is a love cruise after all...
Black Cat- Youko... Well, you'll see.
Kitsune- Why would I leave them behind? They want to spy on the fire demons, and besides, I have to torture them.
Dark Dragon34- Um... Heh heh... Well... I'm sure I waited longer this time... I bet you got sick of waiting and YOU'RE the one who's been watching me through my bedroom window... Even though it's on the second floor and unless you can fly there's no way you could see in it...
Alda- Glad to hear it.
C.C.C.- Heh heh heh... Begging does no good, as I'm sure you noticed.
Hedi Dracona- Yeah, you'll be even more O.o;; after reading this chapter... Seriously.
chocogurl- I really doubt that they have special 'gay guys' rooms on cruises... I just made that up to torture Yusuke and Kuwabara a bit more.
nutari- I've had so many requests from people for people to be in my stories... ::screams::
Sakana-kun- Hmmm, does Kurama like Eclipse... I'll ask Eclipse, but usually those two are stuck being together since Shadow always carts off Hiei and leaves them alone together...
Draikitha- You know, I get some sort of odd happiness from seeing the same person's name on more than one of my stories... Dunno why, it's kinda stupid... I guess it's my inferiority complex that yes, I still have, even though people constantly praise me...
cat- Interesting idea...
Pan Ariodh Sayain- Ermm... That's really confusing...
Bar-Ohki- You know, you have lots of ideas for my stories... That's an interesting idea. I'll think about it... ::thinks until her brain explodes, which takes approximately 5 seconds::
Demon Ashika- More has been written! Woooooooo.
fuedalfairyfan4ever- MY STORIES KEEP CAUSING PEOPLE TO ALMOST DIE!!! It's horrible.
umi1920- This one is the best? This one is probably my most perverted one yet...
xkuroxshinobix- Well look who wrote it! What'd you expect? J/K... I'm not bragging or anything... I'm just saying what everybody tells me...
Shessha's Crazy- A flying green monkey... And you just say that like it's a common thing to be left along with a flying green monkey named George. Kissing contest, eh? Evil... ::Immitating Mr. Burns from The Simpsons:: Excellent...

CHAPTER FIVE
We've got some issues, people. Issues, here. Issues for sale!

Well, the group spent most of the rest of the first day of the cruise frolicking in the pool. Well, so they weren't all doing exactly what I'd call frolicking, but I just thought that might be a nice word to fit there.

Hiei was sitting at a table by the pool drinking some strange beverage that was probably alcoholic. Kurama was next to him drinking lemonade (Sorry, no Youko today... Today), Yusuke and Kuwabara were a few tables away in their swim trunks, taking a break from the pool and lying on the sidelines with sunglasses on. Shadow and Eclipse were the only two who'd stayed in the pool the entire time, taking turns drowning each other, daring each other to do certain dives (really big pool, this one. Like a football field, actually), having water wars, all that fun stuff, while Hiei and Kurama (their supposed boyfriends) sat at a table drinking and talking about what they could be doing if they hadn't been dragged onto this cruise. So far that had turned out to be a rather boring conversation, consisting mostly of swallowing noises as they drank their drinks and long silent pauses during which they stared at just about anything but each other.

"Who's that?" Kurama said suddenly, looking past Hiei to the pool behind him. Hiei turned around and looked. Shadow and Eclipse were talking to some guy in the pool, and they appeared to be acting rather like friends.

"I don't know..."

"Well you'd better go investigate. People might see her talking to some guy and think she's cheating on you without you knowing, and they'll come pester you. Or else maybe they'll think you know and you don't care and that you're actually gay."

"I'll go check it out," Hiei said, getting up and walking towards the place where the three were gathered.

"Oi! Shadow!" he called. Shadow looked up and quickly paddled over to him.

"Hiei! Look who it is!" she said excitedly. Hiei looked at the dude in the water, who waved at him and started over.

"Do I know him?"

"Yeah."

"I don't recognize him."

"You will once he gets over here," Shadow said. A second later a dude with longish blondish hair surfaced beside Shadow.

"Hey, dude!" the guy said, looking at Hiei. After a second, Hiei seemed able to place him.

"Random surfer dude? I thought you got killed..."

"Yeah, dude, but I got like... brought back! Radical, man..."

"Nice..."

"I would like you all to, like, meet my absolutely far-out girl, Random surfer dudette," the random surfer dude said. "She's like... over there." He pointed to a light-haired girl lying nearby on the tanning beds. Climbing out of the pool, he led the way over to her.

"Baby, I would like to introduce some, like, really tubular people," he said to his girlfriend. She shaded her eyes and looked up at them. "This is like, Hiei, and Shadow, and Eclipse. They're pretty awesome."

"Hey, dude and dudettes," the woman said. "I am like, totally happy to meet you. I've heard, like, a bit about you from my way-cool surfer dude boyfriend, but I never actually, like, thought I'd actually, like, meet you... Sweet."

"Totally..." Random surfer dude said.

"Well, it was nice meeting you and everything, but I've got to get back to my trance, so I'll see you later," Hiei said, turning to stroll away. Shadow grabbed his wrist.

"You're not staring at other girls, are you?" she asked suspiciously. Hiei quirked an eyebrow. "Because if you are," she continued, "I'll have to gouge out your eyes. Unless, of course, you apologize from the very most honestest depths of your heart, in which case I might be able to forgive you. However--"

"Shadow..."

"However, if you do not--"

"Shadow!"

"Stop interrupting me! If you do not apolo--"

"SHADOW!"

"Hiei! Let me finish my sentence!"

"I'm not staring at other girls!" Hiei said loudly. Shadow let go of his wrist and smiled.

"Okay. You're free to go."

Hiei walked away, mumbling and grumbling to himself.

"Like, that is a good girl, dudette. I, like, totally dig that attitude," Random surfer dude said.

"Thanks, man," Shadow said. "Now. Back to the pool!" She ran to the pool and jumped in before another word even formed in anyone's thought processes.

The rest of that day was spent swimming, tanning, or on the side of the pool drinking lemonade or alcoholic beverages.

The rate of consumption of these alcoholic beverages for poor Hiei was rather high, and he fell asleep with his head resting on the table before anybody else decided to go back to their room.

"What happened to him?" Eclipse asked, wandering up to the table at least an hour later. She took his glass in sniffed it. "Aw! Did he drink that? It smells like vinegar. Gross."

Kurama sniffed. "Ew. Not really like vinegar, but... I can't really place it. Kinda like gasoline."

"Sick."

"Hi guys! What's..." Shadow stopped and made a disgusted face. "...that smell?"

Eclipse held up the glass Hiei had been drinking out of and sloshed the liquid around a bit. Shadow dipped her finger in it and tasted.

"It actually isn't all that bad. It just smells like shit." She took the glass and drank the rest of it. "Whoa." She let out a huge belch. "I kinda like it."

"Shadow, you're fifteen. Alcoholic beverages are bad for you."

"Weee..."

She seemed to already be drunk. Kurama sighed. "I think it'd be best if the both of you we back to your room... Come along." He carried Hiei to the couple's room and led Shadow by her wrist.

"Now don't do anything stupid in here, okay?" he warned.

"We won't!" Shadow said. The door was almost completely closed when there was a loud thud. Kurama opened the door back up to see Shadow lying on her face on the ground.

"I tripped," she said, dragging herself over to the bed and climbing up beside Hiei.

"Good. You just rest there, okay Shadow?"

"Right."

The door closed with a snap.

"Well hello. I never expected to see you here, Kurama."

The boy spun around and came face to face with none other than the raven who haunts him through all of my stories. Karasu. He screamed.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU PSYCHOTIC BASTARD?"

The door opened behind Kurama. Shadow popped out.

"Shhhh," she said. She hung a "Do not disturb" sign on the hook on the door, then closed it again, apparently oblivious to Karasu. Kurama heard the lock click.

"Did Youko finally get her knocked up?"

Kurama's mouth moved soundlessly. His brain was moving rather slowly, but he finally managed to squeak out, "What?"

"I asked if Youko screwed her."

Kurama shook his head. "What are you doing here?" he asked again, quieter and with less unnecessary swearwords.

"I'm part of the crew."

"The crew aren't allowed to harass the passengers, are they?"

"The crew's job is to make sure the passengers are happy. Are you happy, Kurama?" Karasu asked seductively, getting closer with every word. Kurama backed up against the wall. Karasu's arms were on either side of him, blocking his escape. The demon leaned closer, his mouth nearly on Kurama's. Then...

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

...Kurama screamed. Karasu jumped back, startled, and the fox ran down the hall waving his arms and screaming like a lunatic.

(Remember in "Work Sucks," Karasu said he'd gotten an implant in his throat so he didn't need the mask. He said it'd leave his mouth free for 'other activities.' We've now seen what 'other activities' he had in mind.)

Shadow came out her door. "What's going on? Karasu?"

Rather suddenly, Karasu pinned her against the doorway and gave her an extremely passionate kiss that lasted a little too long for her un-hindered-by-alcohol brain, but since her brain was hindered by alcohol, she kinda just... let him. When he finally broke off, he looked at her pleadingly.

"Was that not in the least bit enjoyable?"

Shadow thought for a second, leaving Karasu looking worried, then cluelessly said, "Um... Yes!"

"Yes it was not enjoyable, or yes it was enjoyable?"

"Uh... It was?" Shadow said, thoroughly confused now, and having no idea what kind of doom she'd just set into motion (not like she cared. "Doom is good," remember?).

"Thank you!" Karasu hugged her then hurried off in the opposite direction Kurama had gone. A split second later, Kurama flew out of nowhere and slammed into Shadow. She landed on her back with him on top of her.

"YOU JUST KISSED KARASU!"

"I actually think he kissed me."

"Either way, your mouths were together, and... and... I saw tongues, didn't I!"

"I could be wrong, though..." Shadow said cluelessly.

"God! Go screw Hiei or something!" He pushed her into her room. Once again the lock clicked. Kurama suddenly realized what he'd just said and hurried away before he decided to hang around and find out if she'd taken him seriously.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Didn't I say this chapter deals with some scary crap? Well, on to the next one you go, you complainers. Be happy I updated, dammit! This is keeping me away from my Wolf's Rain/YYH fic, replying to all those damned reviews and posting this stuff!