Let me warn you, I think this chapter sucks... I wrote it in like, half an hour or something... And just kinda wrote it so people would stop pestering me, and I was braindead for good funny ideas... This chapter's short... In fact, I think I zoned out and somebody else wrote it cuz I don't even remember writing it.

CHAPTER SEVEN
Go Away, Mister Kissy-Face Guy

After watching Eclipse and Shadow kill each other without doing anything to try to stop them, Youko and Hiei decided they would sit down and play poker and wait for the two girls to wake up after their maulingness of each other.

What is it with poker, anyway? Maybe it's just really easy to cheat at.

It was about ten minutes after they'd decided that that they decided to quit and find something else to do, and about one minute after that there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Hiei called.

"Room service," came Karasu's voice.

Hiei and Youko exchanged glances.

"Go home," Hiei replied.

"Come on, Hiei, let me in! I need to talk to you!"

Hiei chose to ignore him. Karasu knocked again a second later as Shadow came out of the bathroom.

"Hey, somebody's knocking at the door," he said, walking over to open it. The two boys hadn't even noticed her go into the bathroom, so they were startled to see her, and by the time they noticed she was opening the door, well... She was opening the door.

"Hey! Karasu! Mister Kissy-Face Guy who hits on drunken and clueless girls in the doorway of their room while on a love cruise with their best friend!" Shadow said cheerfully. "What the hell do you want?"

"I need to talk to you, then," Karasu said, pulling Shadow out into the hall and closing the door behind her.

"What?" she asked.

"Do you think Kurama is attracted to me at all?"

And Shadow did the biggest face fault in anime face fault history. She fell straight through the floor, all the way down into the ocean and into the trench they happened to be cruising over at the moment, and the ship sank and crushed her.

Then everything was back to normal.

"Look, Mister!" Shadow said stepping towards Karasu and jabbing him in the chest with one finger. "Miss Authoress Shadow is NOT turning this story into any sort of lemon fic, thank god for that, she won't even make it a shounen-ai fic, so you'd better give up any hope and stop hitting on Kurama RIGHT NOW!"

She'd backed him up into the opposite wall and he had a bruise forming on his chest already from all the times Shadow had jabbed him.

"Got it?" Shadow asked.

"Yes Ma'am... But..."

"Nobody cares about your butt!"

"Yes Ma'am," Karasu said in a miserable, rejected sort of way. He wandered aimlessly off down the corridor, shoulders slumped, head down, hands in his pockets.

Shadow danced back into her room. "SHADOW JAGANSHI IS VICTORIOUS!" she sang.

"Yes, we heard you..." Youko said. "And I'd be surprised if half the ship didn't as well..."

"FROGS!" Eclipse sang randomly, dancing around the room.

Hiei leaned over to Youko.

"What is it with them and dancing?" he asked.

"Beats me."

"Let's go swimming!" Shadow suggested excitedly.

"Must we?" Youko asked.

"Yes. Now where's the redhead, there, Fox-Ears?"

As they walked out of the room, Hiei noticed a notice hanging on their doorknob. He snatched it off and read it, one eyebrow raised.

"What's that?" Shadow asked, jumping over and snatching the paper. "A kissing contest?!"

"Yeah. It doesn't concern us," Hiei said.

"What do you mean it doesn't concern us!? We could get MONEY! Look at that! First place winner gets a gourmet dinner in a private room with personal servants, second place gets a gift certificate for something or other that I don't give a shit about, and third place gets $50 cash!"

"But we're not signing up, so it doesn't matter," Hiei said.

"What do you mean we're not signing up?!" Shadow asked coldly, backing Hiei against the wall and putting one hand on either side of his head.

"I mean just that. I am not going to be in some contest where I have to kiss you in front of a bunch of stupid judges! Good lord, are you nuts?!"

"Yes I am! Let's go, we're signing up."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"

"Wimp!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

"Coward!"

"Shut up, Shadow! You're evil!"

"I know!" Shadow said cheerfully, suddenly not commanding anymore.

So, poor, poor Hiei got dragged into the contest, and on some Youko-impulse, Kurama signed up himself and Eclipse and quickly regretted it as Eclipse threw him in the swimming pool and tried to drown him.

The contest took place that afternoon, and Karasu was one of the judges. Kurama was suddenly very glad he'd signed up and he used to opportunity to show Karasu just how interested he was in him by winning third place with Eclipse. Shadow was rather pissed about that until she and Hiei won first place. Karasu watched it all with a broken heart and ran away crying, then hid in his quarters and plotted evil things for the remainder of the day.

"See, fool, now aren't you glad I dragged you into this?" Shadow asked.

"No," Hiei said flatly.

"Shut up," Shadow muttered, clearly having been expecting a different reply. Then she jumped off the high dive into the pool and swam around underwater for about five minutes without coming up for a breath.

"God, she's got some lung capacity," muttered some nearby spectator. Hiei stood on the other side of the pool watching until Shadow lunged out and dragged him in.

Eclipse was contemplating why there were no frogs in the pool when Shadow swam underneath her and pulled her underwater. They engaged in insanely stupid-looking underwater combat until Hiei and Kurama went on an underwater rescue mission and clobbered them both and had to drag them back to their rooms because they'd accidentally rendered both the girls unconscious.

It was the fifth day of the cruise and Shadow was bored. Her and Hiei were sitting at one of the tables for two, and she was stirring her lemonade with a straw. While doing this, she was staring around the deck at all the happy kissing, giggling, touchy-feely couples.

"This is sickening," she said casually.

"What is?" Hiei asked, looking up from the psychotic murder book he was reading.

"All these happy people... They're all smoochy-woochy touchy-feely giggly-wiggly people... It's gross. So..." Shadow said, gulping down the rest of her lemonade and then slamming the glass down on the table. "So, I am going to have some fun."

"Explain fun to me," Hiei said. "I know you're not thinking of anything that'd be fun for all these smoochy couples..."

"Well..."

Shadow watched as some giggly kissy-kissy couple settled at the side of the pool. The man went to get drinks. And at this point, Shadow appeared out of nowhere and bent down next to the girl.

"Hey... I just wanted to tell you that your boyfriend is awesome..." she whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, you know what I mean..." Shadow said slyly, smirking. "Oh yeah..."

"Do I know you?"

"You don't, but your boyfriend knows me... Should I say... Intimately?" And, as the girl sat there looking disgusted, Shadow got up and walked past the said boyfriend as he brought back the drinks for his girlfriend. Making sure the girlfriend was watching, Shadow smacked the guy's butt, then vanished into a group of people lounging by the pool. She turned to watch from her hidden place as the girl took her drink and threw it in the guy's face, then stomped off.

Shadow laughed maniacally from under the table she was under, and people stared, unable to see her and thinking the table was laughing.

She caught up with Hiei at the edge of the pool.

"That was just cruel, Shadow," he said.

"I know! It was awesome, wasn't it!" she squealed. Hiei stared for a minute, then...

"Yes it was," he admitted. "Who's next?"

"See those two over there?"

By the next day, Shadow had successfully made nearly every couple on the ship mad at each other. The crew was going nuts as the romantic air of the cruise was totally ruined. People were biting off each others' faces rather than kissing, and a lot of people were drowning their Shadow-induced sorrows in alcohol, then getting some idea in their mind that they'd take out their revenge on the guy or girl that their own girlfriend or boyfriend had supposedly been cheating on them with. Fights broke out everywhere and Shadow just sat back happily soaking up the after-effects of her handiwork.

"It's amazing how much Hell on psycho little demon girl can wreak, isn't it..." Karasu said from behind Shadow. She answered without paying attention to who'd spoken.

"Yeah... Wait! Hey! Agh! Karasu!" Shadow said, jumping about three feet in the air. "How'd you know it was me and what do you want?"

"You know you've totally screwed up this cruise, Shadow."

"And I care about that why? That was my intention."

"Well then..." Karasu raised his voice to extremely loud levels that nobody would have thought possible form him. "THIS GIRL IS LYING ABOUT EVERYTHING! SHE'S LYING JUST TO MESS UP THIS CRUISE! Oof!"

Kurama and Hiei had tackled Karasu from behind, sending him rolling across the deck while everybody else stared at Shadow. She suddenly felt very endangered. Especially when a few of the angry heartbroken fools started towards her.

Meanwhile, Karasu had dislodged Hiei, sending him flying into the pool, and had Kurama pinned down to the deck.

"Hello, Kurama," he said with a smirk.

"Get off me right now," Kurama said, sounding horrified.

Shadow was up now and being cornered by the entire large number of angry couples. She was being cornered at the front tip of the ship (rhyme!) by angry drunks with empty beer bottles and sober fools armed with chairs, books, and rubber bands and pencils.

Yusuke and Kuwabara were being mobbed by security because Yusuke had punched one of the crew for calling him a gay fag.

Kurama was still pinned under Karasu, who suddenly leaned down and kissed him. And Kurama suddenly surged with strength he hadn't had a second ago and flung Karasu into the pool, causing a huge splash that sent Hiei sprawling back. That pissed him off and he just sank underwater and pushed off the bottom, leaping out and landing in front of Kurama, soaking wet. The said fox was desperately wiping off his mouth on his sleeve and spitting all over the deck.

Shadow was worst off, having been pushed back until she was now standing on the railing.

"I suddenly feel very much like Elizabeth Swan... Only... I'm being thrown off a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean with no island in sight by a bunch of drunks... Instead of being thrown off a pirate ship... by pirates... within swimming distance of a small island," Shadow said out loud. (A/N: Disclaimer: I have a Pirates of the Caribbean poster, does that count? ::Gets hurled into the ocean and drowns:: Apparently not. Don't own POTC.)

"Jump, you sadistic, psychotic, lying witch!" one guy yelled, throwing a bottle at Shadow, which she easily caught and hurled back at him.

"HIEI, YOU EVIL, EVIL MAN, WHAT KIND OF BOYFRIEND ARE YOU?!" she screamed. Hiei noticed Shadow, finally, realized Yusuke and Kuwabara and Eclipse were nowhere to be seen, who knows what Eclipse was doing...

"HANG ON A SECOND!" he hollered.

"TOO LATE!" Shadow called back. She did a perfect swan dive into the water a lot of feet below. It was silent for a long while.

"Well... That's no good," Kurama said, staring.

"No shit. I guess we're done with the cruise..."

"Well we're not swimming back to shore," Shadow said, behind them suddenly, soaking wet.

"Shadow! You idiot, what the heck!"

"Into the lower compartments! I am now a stowaway!" Shadow said triumphantly, darting towards the stairs and shooting down them before anyone could utter a word.

"If she ever wants to take us on vacation again, remind me to punch her," Kurama said.

"I was going to in the first place, but you didn't seem too keen on that," Hiei reminded the fox.

"If she ever wants to take us on vacation and I don't want you to hit her, hit me, then we'll both hit her," Kurama said.

"That's better."

..........................................................

What'd I say? It sucked, didn't it.