"Harry."
"Hello Neville." God, this is awkward, Harry thought as he looked between the door and Neville.
Standing up, Neville began staring at his shoes as he shyly bit his bottom lip.
"What are you doing here?" He finally asked.
"I saw you moving in the hallway and I followed you." Harry replied simply, taking this chance to glance around the room.
It was slightly smaller than Harry's room and despite the light turned on it was fairly dark. There was a chair next to the bed that looked well worn. For all appearances, it seemed to be a normal hospital room, except for the patient in it-a woman, probably around her middle thirties seemed to be sleeping peacefully. The thick leather bands, binding her by her arms, legs, and midriff to the bed, destroyed this normalcy.
"I suppose I'll go." Harry said slowly, turning around and heading towards the door.
Neville's shaky voice called after him, "Wait!" Spinning around, Harry watched as Neville sighed and sank into the chair, defeated. "It's okay. I guess everybody would find out eventually." He reached out a hand and stroked the light sandy hair off his mother's forehead in an affectionate manner. "I'd like you to meet my mother, Harry."
Harry had already stepped back in the room and was now standing beside Neville as he tenderly held her hand.
"R-r-right after Y-you-Know-Who's d-defeat." Neville managed to stutter out as his shoulders sagged and tears threatening to spill filled his eyes.
Placing a hand gently on Neville's shoulder, Harry quietly whispered to him. "It's okay. I know."
"Y-you know?" He asked, the surprise written all over his face.
"Yeah. Last year, I accidentally fell into Dumbledore's pensieve." Harry said sheepishly.
"Oh." A long pause went on before either one spoke again. "Do Ron and Hermione know too?"
Shaking his head 'no', Harry watched as Neville's mother whimpered in her sleep and began thrashing around. A soft cooing noise from Neville put her at ease and once again she fell into an untroubled sleep.
"What are you doing down here so late?" Harry asked after they had lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.
"It's her birthday today." The shy boy said quietly. "No one needs to be alone on their birthday." Harry nodded his head in agreement but remained silent.
"What was her name?" Harry asked as he lowered himself to a sitting position on the floor. He felt the coolness of the tile floor seep through his pajamas and shivered slightly. Neville took no notice but instead, his eyes glazed over and he looked as if he was somewhere else.
"Kathleen. Her name was Kathleen." A hush settled over them once again before Neville spoke again in such a quiet voice that Harry thought he had imagined it. "She and my father met at Hogwarts." Encouraging him to continue, Harry listened as he watched his dorm roommate's eyes light up as he spoke. "She was in Ravenclaw and he was in Gryffindor. They dated for about a year and a half and then proposed about six months after they left Hogwarts. They had a really beautiful wedding. She looked so happy." He said a little wistfully. At the last statement, Harry looked at him oddly. "My Gram, right before I went to Hogwarts, she gave me this pensieve with some of her and other family members' memories."
"Must be nice." Harry said quietly, looking down silently and wringing with his hands.
"Not as nice as I wished." Harry looked up quickly as Neville continued to explain. "They weren't my memories and they never will be. No matter how many times I go into the memories-they will never be mine. I didn't know them, or at least I can't remember if I knew them." He stated firmly. "I wish I had parents but the truth is." Here he took a deep breath; "The truth is I'll never know them, not like my Gram's did. My Grams took over the parental position and she's closer to me then they'll ever be. They can't even recognize me." He sniffled a little at the end as his hand brushed away a tear that had started to roll down his cheek.
Patting him on the back Harry was unsure what to do. "But at least you still have your Gram." He said weakly.
"I know. When I was growing up, loneliness wasn't a problem. I always had an uncle to talk about Quidditch with, an Aunt who could bake cookies when I was at her house. Cousins surrounded me constantly so I was never alone. It was nice but there are some things that you want a parent for."
Harry couldn't believe he was hearing this from Neville. Their lives weren't that different-it was refreshing to be with someone who understood loss, or pain. Hermione and Ron were great to talk to but they never dealt with this stuff.
"I know. There were nights where I'd wake up after dreaming of flashing green lights or an evil laughter and there was no one to go to."
"Oh, Harry. I always did have someone to go to. I can't imagine what it was like."
Harry took a deep breath before he began his story. If he started now, he wasn't going to stop. He would enter unfamiliar territory and tell stuff to Neville not even his best friends knew.
"It was awful. You know the saying 'if you ignore it, maybe it'll go away?' That's what I felt like. My aunt and uncle ignored me almost everyday until I was eleven. They used to lock me under the stairs in the cupboard when they needed to get rid of me." Here, Neville gasped. "It was so dark in there-there was no affection or hope. Just the silent dark and the shadows. Sometimes I wished it would just swallow me whole and I'd never have to deal with any of them or anything ever. Then I got my letter." While he had been speaking, Harry had gotten up out of his chair and was pacing around the small room. "It was like stepping out in the sunlight. Everything was brighter and had more life than anything I had ever seen. There, people needed me and wanted me around. And then." Harry left off, unsure what to say next. How do you say the wizarding world had all its hopes on your shoulders? That what they wanted him to do scared him more than anything and that he wished that his cupboard had swallowed him up? "There's the expression about 'your day in the sun.' That's what it felt like. For one day I was in the sun and it was perfect but then.there was."
"Voldemort." Neville whispered. Harry looked at him; surprised he had said the name. Neville himself looked shocked.
"Yeah. It rained on my sunny day. Wait, I think I mixed up the sayings. It ruined my day in the sun and then it rained on my parade." Harry said with a small smile, attempting to lighten the mood.
Sensing this, Neville smiled a little. "Yeah-maybe you better just leave the expressions out of it. But you never broke. You were always strong."
Oh, if only he knew.
"You're a much better Gryffindor then I'll ever be." Neville continued, oblivious to the sad look on Harry's face. "I can't even stand up to Snape!"
"I'd be as good a Gryffindor as a Slytherin."
"No-you could never be a Slytherin. You're not an evil bastard like Malfoy." He declared.
"The hat almost put me in Slytherin." At Neville's shocked look, he continued. "It kept saying 'You'll do well in Slytherin. It can help you on your way to greatness.' Then lo and behold, I turn out to be a parseltounge."
"So? You're in Gryffindor and so what if you can talk to snakes? You're still a good person or else the hat wouldn't have even let you in Gryffindor."
"Thanks Neville. I better be heading back. I heard the nurse was going to do rounds. She'll flip if I'm not there." He smiled tiredly before leaving.
"Bye Harry."
"Bye Neville." He had just left the room when a thought struck him and he turned around. "Oh, and happy birthday, Mrs. Longbottom." Neville gave him a small smile as he disappeared behind the doorframe.
Walking back, Harry carefully thought over what he had talked about with Neville. He really was a good friend to Harry. This year, Harry was going to try and do the same.
"Mr. Potter!" A voice called out as the sound of footsteps followed. Harry froze and looked ahead in the direction the voice came from. A woman, around fifty with gray streaks running through her brown hair that was done up in a bun, ran forward, clutching some type of chart to her chest. She was wearing the white robes like the doctor. "What are you doing out of your room? We thought you had been kidnapped or had gotten lost." She said exasperatedly.
Harry rolled his eyes at this. Fortunately, it was dark so the woman couldn't see what he was doing. But, still, she continued to rant.
"I was looking everywhere!" Harry refrained to say that if they had checked everywhere then they would have found him. "The emergency unit, all the rooms on your floor, all of the bathrooms, the cafeteria and we actually sent someone down to the morgue!"
"Sorry!" Harry said, not the least bit regretful but did it in hopes of keeping her from screeching. "I was in the mental ward."
"Why, pray tell, were you in the mental ward?"
"Just visiting." She sighed at this but didn't comment. Instead grabbed his elbow and dragged him back to his room. "Now stay here this time." She then turned on her heel and left him sitting on his bed. It was then that he noticed the two parcels near the window.
Harry walked over to them and, in the dark, recognized one as his trunk and assumed the other was the pensieve.
'I'll just look at them some more tomorrow.' He thought as he stifled a yawn and crawled into bed. Before he put his head on the pillow, he noticed a small plastic cup with two pills in it. "Great-my depression meds.' He groaned and grabbed the pills and swallowed them with the water next to them. He covered himself in the blankets and snuggled against the pillow. Within minutes he was asleep.
************* I'm so sorry that I haven't updated. I had all these already written chapters and then I was lazy-but I will try to update again before the month is over-I have a lot of projects for school and if my health teacher actually knew how to use a computer I wouldn't be as stressed as I am right now.
Firstly, I want to thank everybody for the reviews-and yes! It was Neville! He's so sweet so I put him in. Also, for David305, you are absolutely right about his eyes and now I feel kind of stupid but since this is my story and my own little universe, let's pretend that Harry just has really freaky eyes. Hey, he defies the laws of nature all the time- what's wrong with an eye weirdness?
Secondly, I have no idea what Neville's mom's name is-so if anybody knows then I'll change it.
Thirdly, for Powergirl, you'll be glad to hear that Harry gets all angst-y. Yes-that's right, Harry goes into the pensieve! I will stop typing now but I want to say PLEASE, PLEASE R/R!!!!!!!
"Hello Neville." God, this is awkward, Harry thought as he looked between the door and Neville.
Standing up, Neville began staring at his shoes as he shyly bit his bottom lip.
"What are you doing here?" He finally asked.
"I saw you moving in the hallway and I followed you." Harry replied simply, taking this chance to glance around the room.
It was slightly smaller than Harry's room and despite the light turned on it was fairly dark. There was a chair next to the bed that looked well worn. For all appearances, it seemed to be a normal hospital room, except for the patient in it-a woman, probably around her middle thirties seemed to be sleeping peacefully. The thick leather bands, binding her by her arms, legs, and midriff to the bed, destroyed this normalcy.
"I suppose I'll go." Harry said slowly, turning around and heading towards the door.
Neville's shaky voice called after him, "Wait!" Spinning around, Harry watched as Neville sighed and sank into the chair, defeated. "It's okay. I guess everybody would find out eventually." He reached out a hand and stroked the light sandy hair off his mother's forehead in an affectionate manner. "I'd like you to meet my mother, Harry."
Harry had already stepped back in the room and was now standing beside Neville as he tenderly held her hand.
"R-r-right after Y-you-Know-Who's d-defeat." Neville managed to stutter out as his shoulders sagged and tears threatening to spill filled his eyes.
Placing a hand gently on Neville's shoulder, Harry quietly whispered to him. "It's okay. I know."
"Y-you know?" He asked, the surprise written all over his face.
"Yeah. Last year, I accidentally fell into Dumbledore's pensieve." Harry said sheepishly.
"Oh." A long pause went on before either one spoke again. "Do Ron and Hermione know too?"
Shaking his head 'no', Harry watched as Neville's mother whimpered in her sleep and began thrashing around. A soft cooing noise from Neville put her at ease and once again she fell into an untroubled sleep.
"What are you doing down here so late?" Harry asked after they had lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.
"It's her birthday today." The shy boy said quietly. "No one needs to be alone on their birthday." Harry nodded his head in agreement but remained silent.
"What was her name?" Harry asked as he lowered himself to a sitting position on the floor. He felt the coolness of the tile floor seep through his pajamas and shivered slightly. Neville took no notice but instead, his eyes glazed over and he looked as if he was somewhere else.
"Kathleen. Her name was Kathleen." A hush settled over them once again before Neville spoke again in such a quiet voice that Harry thought he had imagined it. "She and my father met at Hogwarts." Encouraging him to continue, Harry listened as he watched his dorm roommate's eyes light up as he spoke. "She was in Ravenclaw and he was in Gryffindor. They dated for about a year and a half and then proposed about six months after they left Hogwarts. They had a really beautiful wedding. She looked so happy." He said a little wistfully. At the last statement, Harry looked at him oddly. "My Gram, right before I went to Hogwarts, she gave me this pensieve with some of her and other family members' memories."
"Must be nice." Harry said quietly, looking down silently and wringing with his hands.
"Not as nice as I wished." Harry looked up quickly as Neville continued to explain. "They weren't my memories and they never will be. No matter how many times I go into the memories-they will never be mine. I didn't know them, or at least I can't remember if I knew them." He stated firmly. "I wish I had parents but the truth is." Here he took a deep breath; "The truth is I'll never know them, not like my Gram's did. My Grams took over the parental position and she's closer to me then they'll ever be. They can't even recognize me." He sniffled a little at the end as his hand brushed away a tear that had started to roll down his cheek.
Patting him on the back Harry was unsure what to do. "But at least you still have your Gram." He said weakly.
"I know. When I was growing up, loneliness wasn't a problem. I always had an uncle to talk about Quidditch with, an Aunt who could bake cookies when I was at her house. Cousins surrounded me constantly so I was never alone. It was nice but there are some things that you want a parent for."
Harry couldn't believe he was hearing this from Neville. Their lives weren't that different-it was refreshing to be with someone who understood loss, or pain. Hermione and Ron were great to talk to but they never dealt with this stuff.
"I know. There were nights where I'd wake up after dreaming of flashing green lights or an evil laughter and there was no one to go to."
"Oh, Harry. I always did have someone to go to. I can't imagine what it was like."
Harry took a deep breath before he began his story. If he started now, he wasn't going to stop. He would enter unfamiliar territory and tell stuff to Neville not even his best friends knew.
"It was awful. You know the saying 'if you ignore it, maybe it'll go away?' That's what I felt like. My aunt and uncle ignored me almost everyday until I was eleven. They used to lock me under the stairs in the cupboard when they needed to get rid of me." Here, Neville gasped. "It was so dark in there-there was no affection or hope. Just the silent dark and the shadows. Sometimes I wished it would just swallow me whole and I'd never have to deal with any of them or anything ever. Then I got my letter." While he had been speaking, Harry had gotten up out of his chair and was pacing around the small room. "It was like stepping out in the sunlight. Everything was brighter and had more life than anything I had ever seen. There, people needed me and wanted me around. And then." Harry left off, unsure what to say next. How do you say the wizarding world had all its hopes on your shoulders? That what they wanted him to do scared him more than anything and that he wished that his cupboard had swallowed him up? "There's the expression about 'your day in the sun.' That's what it felt like. For one day I was in the sun and it was perfect but then.there was."
"Voldemort." Neville whispered. Harry looked at him; surprised he had said the name. Neville himself looked shocked.
"Yeah. It rained on my sunny day. Wait, I think I mixed up the sayings. It ruined my day in the sun and then it rained on my parade." Harry said with a small smile, attempting to lighten the mood.
Sensing this, Neville smiled a little. "Yeah-maybe you better just leave the expressions out of it. But you never broke. You were always strong."
Oh, if only he knew.
"You're a much better Gryffindor then I'll ever be." Neville continued, oblivious to the sad look on Harry's face. "I can't even stand up to Snape!"
"I'd be as good a Gryffindor as a Slytherin."
"No-you could never be a Slytherin. You're not an evil bastard like Malfoy." He declared.
"The hat almost put me in Slytherin." At Neville's shocked look, he continued. "It kept saying 'You'll do well in Slytherin. It can help you on your way to greatness.' Then lo and behold, I turn out to be a parseltounge."
"So? You're in Gryffindor and so what if you can talk to snakes? You're still a good person or else the hat wouldn't have even let you in Gryffindor."
"Thanks Neville. I better be heading back. I heard the nurse was going to do rounds. She'll flip if I'm not there." He smiled tiredly before leaving.
"Bye Harry."
"Bye Neville." He had just left the room when a thought struck him and he turned around. "Oh, and happy birthday, Mrs. Longbottom." Neville gave him a small smile as he disappeared behind the doorframe.
Walking back, Harry carefully thought over what he had talked about with Neville. He really was a good friend to Harry. This year, Harry was going to try and do the same.
"Mr. Potter!" A voice called out as the sound of footsteps followed. Harry froze and looked ahead in the direction the voice came from. A woman, around fifty with gray streaks running through her brown hair that was done up in a bun, ran forward, clutching some type of chart to her chest. She was wearing the white robes like the doctor. "What are you doing out of your room? We thought you had been kidnapped or had gotten lost." She said exasperatedly.
Harry rolled his eyes at this. Fortunately, it was dark so the woman couldn't see what he was doing. But, still, she continued to rant.
"I was looking everywhere!" Harry refrained to say that if they had checked everywhere then they would have found him. "The emergency unit, all the rooms on your floor, all of the bathrooms, the cafeteria and we actually sent someone down to the morgue!"
"Sorry!" Harry said, not the least bit regretful but did it in hopes of keeping her from screeching. "I was in the mental ward."
"Why, pray tell, were you in the mental ward?"
"Just visiting." She sighed at this but didn't comment. Instead grabbed his elbow and dragged him back to his room. "Now stay here this time." She then turned on her heel and left him sitting on his bed. It was then that he noticed the two parcels near the window.
Harry walked over to them and, in the dark, recognized one as his trunk and assumed the other was the pensieve.
'I'll just look at them some more tomorrow.' He thought as he stifled a yawn and crawled into bed. Before he put his head on the pillow, he noticed a small plastic cup with two pills in it. "Great-my depression meds.' He groaned and grabbed the pills and swallowed them with the water next to them. He covered himself in the blankets and snuggled against the pillow. Within minutes he was asleep.
************* I'm so sorry that I haven't updated. I had all these already written chapters and then I was lazy-but I will try to update again before the month is over-I have a lot of projects for school and if my health teacher actually knew how to use a computer I wouldn't be as stressed as I am right now.
Firstly, I want to thank everybody for the reviews-and yes! It was Neville! He's so sweet so I put him in. Also, for David305, you are absolutely right about his eyes and now I feel kind of stupid but since this is my story and my own little universe, let's pretend that Harry just has really freaky eyes. Hey, he defies the laws of nature all the time- what's wrong with an eye weirdness?
Secondly, I have no idea what Neville's mom's name is-so if anybody knows then I'll change it.
Thirdly, for Powergirl, you'll be glad to hear that Harry gets all angst-y. Yes-that's right, Harry goes into the pensieve! I will stop typing now but I want to say PLEASE, PLEASE R/R!!!!!!!