Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters (duh)
Baby Blues
All was peaceful at the Potter household on the sunny Sunday morning. Harry was calmly drinking his morning coffee, in which he found several long, frizzy brown hairs as well as large balls of mucus. Hermione was in their bedroom with a cigarette dangling from her long, red-painted nail fingers as she snorted her morning line. Draco was clomping around in his blue dress, frilly apron, and red stilettos shrieking that he couldn't find his bra. And in the living room, "Uncle" Ron ran about screaming since he had lit his handlebar moustache on fire with his corny, 17Th century styled pipe, which he insisted upon using although it was broken. Harry jr. was now sending flames flying across the room using his mother's wand.
In other words, all was normal and boring as ever on this fine morning.
But not all was peaceful for Nanny Draco, who was very irritated from lack of chest support. He stomped up the stone stairs and towards the master bedroom where a stoned Hermione had passed out on the bed. He stopped in front of the door and attempted to kick it open. There was a loud cracking noise when his foot connected with the wood door and woke Hermione up. The cracking, however, was not the door. It was his foot. He let out a feminine scream of pain and settled for turning the knob and hopping in with his uninjured foot. Then he turned to Hermione.
"You stole it, didn't you? You bitch!" he cried at her.
"What?" Hermione asked. The effects of the cocaine had yet to wear off.
"My bra! My pink, lacy bra with Draco Malfoy sewn on the strap. It cost me a whole Galleon for the embroidery alone!"
"I have no clue what you're talking about," she coolly replied while putting on a pink, lacy bra with Draco Malfoy sewn on the strap. Draco stared at it with disbelieve.
"That's it! That's my bra, you lying stinky head!" he yelled.
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"MEANIE!"
"STINKY HEAD!"
"HAAARRYYYYY!"
Harry walked into the room rubbing his temples and groaned, "Yes?"
"Draco called me a stinky head!" Hermione wailed while doing up the bra.
"You called me a meanie! And you stole my bra! You're still a stinky head!" Draco wailed back.
"Do you two need a quiet time?" Harry questioned threateningly. Draco's face assumed a look of intense horror. Hermione tried doing a sex kitten impersonation. Harry grabbed Hermione's ass and sent Draco to the corner.
"She's still wearing my bra!" he wailed from the corner. As if on queue, Harry jr. ran into the room, ripped the bloody bra off, and threw it at Draco along with several large rats. Harry looked at her chest for a moment and then left the room. She was left holding the giggling child who, in the sprit of impersonating his father, began trying to slap her ass.
"RON!" she bellowed.
Ron ran up the stairs with his moustache, and now hair, still alight. He stopped before Hermione and asked what she needed quite calmly considering his skin was beginning to sear.
"Take the fucking baby! I need to do my fucking hair! NOW!" she yelled. He took the baby and promptly began screaming again as he rolled down the stairs. She picked up a bottle of Sleakeazy's Hair Potion and took a gulp of it. There was a loud explosion as her hair burst from her head, leaving her bald. She then flipped a straight, black, Cher-styled wig and passed out. Ron's hair had been put out by rolling down the stairs. However, he hit his head on a wall at the bottom and was knocked out. Harry jr. giggled and began painting the walls with Ron's blood. Draco was still upstairs screaming that Hermione was a stinky head. Harry was bashing his head on the walls chanting, "Must-kill-self-NOW!" and still massaging his temples.
What a nice normal day in the Potter household.
Baby Blues
All was peaceful at the Potter household on the sunny Sunday morning. Harry was calmly drinking his morning coffee, in which he found several long, frizzy brown hairs as well as large balls of mucus. Hermione was in their bedroom with a cigarette dangling from her long, red-painted nail fingers as she snorted her morning line. Draco was clomping around in his blue dress, frilly apron, and red stilettos shrieking that he couldn't find his bra. And in the living room, "Uncle" Ron ran about screaming since he had lit his handlebar moustache on fire with his corny, 17Th century styled pipe, which he insisted upon using although it was broken. Harry jr. was now sending flames flying across the room using his mother's wand.
In other words, all was normal and boring as ever on this fine morning.
But not all was peaceful for Nanny Draco, who was very irritated from lack of chest support. He stomped up the stone stairs and towards the master bedroom where a stoned Hermione had passed out on the bed. He stopped in front of the door and attempted to kick it open. There was a loud cracking noise when his foot connected with the wood door and woke Hermione up. The cracking, however, was not the door. It was his foot. He let out a feminine scream of pain and settled for turning the knob and hopping in with his uninjured foot. Then he turned to Hermione.
"You stole it, didn't you? You bitch!" he cried at her.
"What?" Hermione asked. The effects of the cocaine had yet to wear off.
"My bra! My pink, lacy bra with Draco Malfoy sewn on the strap. It cost me a whole Galleon for the embroidery alone!"
"I have no clue what you're talking about," she coolly replied while putting on a pink, lacy bra with Draco Malfoy sewn on the strap. Draco stared at it with disbelieve.
"That's it! That's my bra, you lying stinky head!" he yelled.
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"MEANIE!"
"STINKY HEAD!"
"HAAARRYYYYY!"
Harry walked into the room rubbing his temples and groaned, "Yes?"
"Draco called me a stinky head!" Hermione wailed while doing up the bra.
"You called me a meanie! And you stole my bra! You're still a stinky head!" Draco wailed back.
"Do you two need a quiet time?" Harry questioned threateningly. Draco's face assumed a look of intense horror. Hermione tried doing a sex kitten impersonation. Harry grabbed Hermione's ass and sent Draco to the corner.
"She's still wearing my bra!" he wailed from the corner. As if on queue, Harry jr. ran into the room, ripped the bloody bra off, and threw it at Draco along with several large rats. Harry looked at her chest for a moment and then left the room. She was left holding the giggling child who, in the sprit of impersonating his father, began trying to slap her ass.
"RON!" she bellowed.
Ron ran up the stairs with his moustache, and now hair, still alight. He stopped before Hermione and asked what she needed quite calmly considering his skin was beginning to sear.
"Take the fucking baby! I need to do my fucking hair! NOW!" she yelled. He took the baby and promptly began screaming again as he rolled down the stairs. She picked up a bottle of Sleakeazy's Hair Potion and took a gulp of it. There was a loud explosion as her hair burst from her head, leaving her bald. She then flipped a straight, black, Cher-styled wig and passed out. Ron's hair had been put out by rolling down the stairs. However, he hit his head on a wall at the bottom and was knocked out. Harry jr. giggled and began painting the walls with Ron's blood. Draco was still upstairs screaming that Hermione was a stinky head. Harry was bashing his head on the walls chanting, "Must-kill-self-NOW!" and still massaging his temples.
What a nice normal day in the Potter household.