Osmond Darling-Blackadder sat on the edge of his bathtub. When had things become like this? How had everything changed so drastically? He wasn't unhappy or anything, just rightfully confused.
He looked around the disgustingly tidy bathroom, as though it might hold the answer. Surprisingly enough, it did. A tube of orange flavoured toothpaste, half empty, lay on the sink next to the two green toothbrushes. Toothpaste. That was what had started everything.
A few mere months ago, Osmond had lived in a scuckly little bachelor pad above a tiny sushi restaurant. He lived in it with a large pile of very old newspapers, a mini fridge full of peanut butter and two cleans socks. One gray, one a bright, vibrant purple.
And no toothpaste.
All other problems were forgivable, but Osmond -needed- toothpaste. So, with that in mind, Osmond went to the store for toothpaste, crackers (for the peanut butter) and a spare tire.
The store didn't sell spare tires, but Osmond shrugged, then he wouldn't have to wheel it home. He loaded up on cheap saltine crackers and headed to the Dental Hygiene area. There was a single tube of his favorite toothpaste (orange flavored) left. He grabbed for it. So did another hand. Both hands got hold of the tube at the same time. Osmond turned a bit to look at the intruding hand, his eyes followed the hand to an intruding arm, an intruding shoulder, back, neck and finally head, with intruding eyes staring fixedly at the tube of orange flavored toothpaste they were both clutching.
That had been the first meeting, they had stood like that until some woman had come out of nowhere and plucked it out of their unsuspecting hands. They had smiled wanly at eachother and gone their separate ways.
Osmond had been certain that would be the last time they saw eachother. But, lo and behold, next week, when Osmond went on another toothpaste run, who did he run into at the Dental Hygiene area? That's right, the other fan of orange flavored toothpaste.
There had been a brief conversation and the next thing Osmond knew he was sitting across the table from this man outside a café drinking iced tea. Osmond admitted to himself that he was rather pleased with this turn of events.
Months crawled by and there had been more meetings at cafés as well as movies seen and several games of air hockey played. Eventually, they moved in together. They got a nice place. Two bedrooms, the rent wasn't too bad, nice part of town, close to work.
An outing to the movies had resulted in a kiss and a bewildered Osmond had realized that he might be in love with someone he had met at the store while buying toothpaste.
Soon after this mental revelation Osmond had had the courage to say "Darling... I love you... is that alright?"
Darling (for that was his name, there was just never a good place to point that out) had made a squeaky noise and tackled poor Osmond to the floor. The neighbors below them banged on their ceiling with a broom because of that tackle, but neither had really noticed.
Another month later and Osmond had emerged from a courthouse with his ex-roommate with a new name. Osmond Darling-Blackadder.
Osmond stood up, washed his hands and brushed his teeth.
Upon exciting the bathroom, he snuck up on his ex-roommate and kissed him, tasting of oranges.
a/n: I'm actually doing two toothpaste ones. This one's the normal one. The other is REALLY WEIRD. And was, in fact, inspired by a dream I had last night where in I rped as Lister and the person who was Rimmer told me his real last name was Wanda. Does that make sense? Probably not. Also, this chapter is dedicated to PalletShade. Because she suggested it and because I (according to her) made her want to slash Blackadder. I'm actually very proud of that. Also, I may take her up on that offer, provided she has a nose. Do you have a nose?
He looked around the disgustingly tidy bathroom, as though it might hold the answer. Surprisingly enough, it did. A tube of orange flavoured toothpaste, half empty, lay on the sink next to the two green toothbrushes. Toothpaste. That was what had started everything.
A few mere months ago, Osmond had lived in a scuckly little bachelor pad above a tiny sushi restaurant. He lived in it with a large pile of very old newspapers, a mini fridge full of peanut butter and two cleans socks. One gray, one a bright, vibrant purple.
And no toothpaste.
All other problems were forgivable, but Osmond -needed- toothpaste. So, with that in mind, Osmond went to the store for toothpaste, crackers (for the peanut butter) and a spare tire.
The store didn't sell spare tires, but Osmond shrugged, then he wouldn't have to wheel it home. He loaded up on cheap saltine crackers and headed to the Dental Hygiene area. There was a single tube of his favorite toothpaste (orange flavored) left. He grabbed for it. So did another hand. Both hands got hold of the tube at the same time. Osmond turned a bit to look at the intruding hand, his eyes followed the hand to an intruding arm, an intruding shoulder, back, neck and finally head, with intruding eyes staring fixedly at the tube of orange flavored toothpaste they were both clutching.
That had been the first meeting, they had stood like that until some woman had come out of nowhere and plucked it out of their unsuspecting hands. They had smiled wanly at eachother and gone their separate ways.
Osmond had been certain that would be the last time they saw eachother. But, lo and behold, next week, when Osmond went on another toothpaste run, who did he run into at the Dental Hygiene area? That's right, the other fan of orange flavored toothpaste.
There had been a brief conversation and the next thing Osmond knew he was sitting across the table from this man outside a café drinking iced tea. Osmond admitted to himself that he was rather pleased with this turn of events.
Months crawled by and there had been more meetings at cafés as well as movies seen and several games of air hockey played. Eventually, they moved in together. They got a nice place. Two bedrooms, the rent wasn't too bad, nice part of town, close to work.
An outing to the movies had resulted in a kiss and a bewildered Osmond had realized that he might be in love with someone he had met at the store while buying toothpaste.
Soon after this mental revelation Osmond had had the courage to say "Darling... I love you... is that alright?"
Darling (for that was his name, there was just never a good place to point that out) had made a squeaky noise and tackled poor Osmond to the floor. The neighbors below them banged on their ceiling with a broom because of that tackle, but neither had really noticed.
Another month later and Osmond had emerged from a courthouse with his ex-roommate with a new name. Osmond Darling-Blackadder.
Osmond stood up, washed his hands and brushed his teeth.
Upon exciting the bathroom, he snuck up on his ex-roommate and kissed him, tasting of oranges.
a/n: I'm actually doing two toothpaste ones. This one's the normal one. The other is REALLY WEIRD. And was, in fact, inspired by a dream I had last night where in I rped as Lister and the person who was Rimmer told me his real last name was Wanda. Does that make sense? Probably not. Also, this chapter is dedicated to PalletShade. Because she suggested it and because I (according to her) made her want to slash Blackadder. I'm actually very proud of that. Also, I may take her up on that offer, provided she has a nose. Do you have a nose?