A/N: Have no fear, another chapter is here! I don't know how long it will be, but I'll see how good it is going to be. I'm guessing you all liked the last one. Thanks so much for all the great reviews. I'm a little blue today, so I think this chapter will be pretty depressing. Sorry.

Chapter 15: Alone Again

I woke up in the hospital, though I don't know why. I didn't try and commit suicide or anything, though at this point, it wouldn't have surprised me.

"Lil! Oh, thank God you're ok!" I looked up to see Randa at my side.

"Hey, kiddo!" Chris was standing next to her.

There was movement on my other side; it was Rick. His face was in his hands, then he slowly stood up and walked to me.

"This is slowly reminding me of the ending of 'The Wizard of Oz,'" I said quietly, nodding the sleep off my head. "I hope I don't start saying, 'I had a dream and you were in it! And you! And you!' That would really make my day." My laugh was empty of emotion. I glanced around me. "What happened?"

"Well, I'm not sure," Randa's laugh was shaky. "I came into the dorm and saw you collapse on the floor. Before I came in, I heard someone hyperventilating. I tried to hurry to get inside, but I was too slow." Tears started to form in her dark gray eyes. "Oh, Lil! I'm so sorry I wasn't there!" She threw herself down and hugged me.

"Randa, it's not your fault." I didn't return her hug, nor did an emotion enter my voice. I stared straight ahead at the wall. "It's all my fault. Everything is my fault." The tears slowly flowed down my cheeks.

"Lilly? Darling? Are you here?" My mother's tear-stained face appeared in the doorway. "Thank heavens. Tom, she's in here!" She entered the room, and Randa and Chris moved out of her way. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

I pasted on a fake smile. "I'm just fine." I looked at the door and saw my dad enter. "Well, I was."

"Don't get smart, young lady! You nearly gave your mother heart failure!" My dad's face was turning red. "Myranda called, in tears, bawling about how you collapsed on the floor of your dorm room and how you were headed to the hospital in an ambulance. Your mother was worried sick!"

"But you weren't? Then you can leave." My voice didn't break, not even with sarcasm, as I went back to staring at the cream colored wall. The tears kept coming, but I felt nothing. It was like I was a machine, a robot that could only spring water from its eyes.

My dad huffed and left the room. My mother kissed my head, promised she'd be back later and left as well. Soon Chris and Rickie followed, not wanting to upset me further. Only Myranda stayed and she held my hand, watching my tears pour.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She looked at me with concern in her eyes.

I nodded, my eyes never leaving the dark spot on the wall I'd found.

"Where is she?! I know she's here! Where?"

I slightly perked up when I heard a masculine voice in the hallway. Adam. I watched the door way expectantly, waiting for him to come inside.

"Where is who, sir?" A nurse at the station asked patiently.

"Lilly Riley. Which room is hers?" The boy's voice was frantic.

"Right there, sir. Go right in." The nurse pointed at my room then went back to her work.

I sat up straight, flattening my hair. If it was Adam, I didn't want to look like a wreck, even though I felt like one. Then I watched the door.

"Lilly?" A head of thick, dark hair came into view. It was Charlie. I slid back down into the bed, my smile disappearing. "Thank goodness you're okay."

"Yeah, what a real shame it would have been if I wasn't," I replied wryly, looking back at the wall.

Myranda looked from my now more depressed face to Charlie and smiled at him. "Thanks for being concerned. Is he here, too?"

Charlie slowly shook his head. "Just me. The whole team sends their, uh, condolences, I guess." He rubbed the back of his neck. "So, when you getting out of here, Lil?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

Myranda looked at me in a somewhat nervousness and cleared her throat. "She should be out by tomorrow. They want to keep her here tonight for observation."

"Oh, good. That's great. Will you be able to go to school tomorrow?" Charlie sat down on the side of my bed.

Again, I shrugged my shoulders.

Myranda sighed. "Hopefully, she will be."

Charlie looked at her. "She isn't talking, is she?"

"Gee, whatever gave you that idea." Myranda smiled. It slowly disappeared. "It's all his fault, you know."

Charlie kind of nodded. "I think I'm beginning to agree with that. He was never this unforgiving before."

Myranda nodded.

The tears started up again. My voice, staying unnaturally even, came to me. "Is it so hard to say his name? It's Adam. And it's not Adam's fault. It's my fault. It was my dumb idea. I did this." Then as if I never said a thing, I went back to my somber thoughts.

"Uh, okay." Charlie rubbed the back of his neck again. "Randa, do you want to get a soda or something from the cafeteria?" I knew he was looking at her as if to say, "Wanna go talk about Lilly?"

"Um, yeah. That sounds really good." Myranda stood up. "Besides, I have to go call Nick anyway."

After they left the room, I slid even further under the thin blankets of the bed. I wasn't sobbing, because I didn't have much of a voice, but I was terribly depressed. I couldn't believe I was alone again.

I half smirked when I remembered back to Cole's welcome back party.

Rick was still smiling at me.

"What?" I asked, grinning back

"When are you gonna get a boyfriend?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Never."

I didn't wipe off the tears as I recalled the plan to use Adam. I hadn't known him when I planned it, but as I got to know him, I began to love him. I remembered the pizzeria, the ice-skating, the hockey game, everything.

"Knock, knock." I looked at the door. It was Rick. "Can I come in?"

I merely nodded and rejoined the land of the dead.

"Still staring at the wall, uh?" Rick sat down. "Listen, Lil. I know you love Adam and I know this hurts, but you can't just keep collapsing and spending your days in the hospital. Do you really love him?" Rick put his hand on my cheek and turned my face toward him. "Do you love Adam?"

My eyes lost some of their sadness at the sound of Adam's name, I could tell.

Rick's smile grew. "I thought so. If you love him, fight for him."

I laughed humorlessly and pulled away. "It's easier said than done, Rickie."

"I don't think that's the Lilly Riley I know and love. My Lilly would be out of this bed in a second and at Adam's house in a heartbeat. She wouldn't give up so quickly."

"Rickie, I don't think you grasp the reality of the situation," I said. "Adam knows and he's mad at me for doing that. For using him." I began to cry again. "He doesn't want anything to do with me. You should have seen his eyes; they were so cold, Rickie. He was so mad." I sobbed the first real emotion I'd shown all day.

"Oh, Lil. I know he was mad, frustrated." Rick held my hand. "But mostly, I think he was hurt." Rick sighed. "I mean, think about it. He found a girl he really cared about, who he could open up to, and whom he thought felt the same. I don't think he's so mad at you; I think he's more mad at himself."

I stared at Rickie, somewhat confused. "Why would Adam be mad at himself?"

Rickie rubbed the back of his neck. "For allowing himself to fall head over heels for a girl he knew practically nothing about and allowing himself to get hurt in the process. Plus, you have to add in Hans's death and the teams' problems."

"So you think I might be able to," I gulped. I didn't want to say it for fear of jinxing myself, but I had to ask. "To get him back?"

Rick chuckled. "I think it's a pretty good possibility."

I genuinely smiled. Then I felt confused. "Rickie, you hate Adam. Why are you helping to motivate me into trying to get him back?"

Rick stood up. "I don't hate Adam; I hate having the Ducks at our school." Rick started for the door, but then turned around. "Big school board meeting tomorrow. Adam's scheduled to make an appearance. Maybe you should, too." Then he left.

"Yeah," I murmured. "Maybe I will make an appearance." I looked out the door my dear, sweet, older brother had just left through. "Thanks, Rickie, for getting me motivated." Then I rolled over and fell back to sleep, filled with dreams of Adam and I being together again.

A/N: There you go. Enjoy! R/R Nellie