Something Like Deception
OVER A HUNDRED REVIEWS!!! YAY!!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!
A/N: I just finished the entire story, but I'm not going to put it up for a while because I'm making "adjustments" to everything. lol - I'm starting to think I'm obsessed. Seems like all I do is write these days. I write, and then I get in trouble for staying on the computer too long. My eyes are permanently red. I'm tired. Oh, so tired. But that's okay! Because I love it! Maybe it's the reviews that I'm hooked on – all of your comments. You are all so nice to me! (Heehee, so much for not caring what other people think!)
I'M NOT GOING TO REPLY TO PEOPLE THIS TIME BECAUSE IT WOULD RUIN THE SURPRISE!!! SORRY!
Except for Sarah "Jessica" Warder who posed a very interesting question. She said: "Why don't they just speed up another Polyjuice Potion and hope it switches them back?"
Answer: Because! Think about it for a sec. What if that book that Lily found IS telling the truth and they WILL eventually switch back to their original bodies, but they don't know that they will, so they take another Polyjuice Potion before then? When the time comes to switch back, instead of staying in their own bodies, they'll just switch right back to the other person's body. Sorry if that's confusing, but it makes sense when you think about it.
To Everyone Else: NO, I'M NOT PLAYING FAVORITES. That was just a really interesting question that I felt I had to answer because it crossed my mind earlier when I was writing, and I guessed a few of you would point that out and start to wonder.
So Bravo to Sarah "Jessica" Warder! And now, on with all of the answers to your questions! More story!
---
Disclaimer: This is called "fanfiction" . net. The very idea that you would have to put a disclaimer on a story is ludicrous.
Chapter Fourteen – the taste of forbidden things
Lily hooked her arms around James's neck, smiled, and then kissed him right in the middle of the quidditch field. At least, that's how it looked to the crowd of students and teachers heading back towards the school. But it was Remus who was on the receiving end of that kiss, not James.
"Lily, we lost," Remus muttered, turning red.
"I know," she said, playfully. "That's to make you feel better."
Remus smiled, then his face turned serious. "You know, we really shouldn't be doing this in public."
All at once, Lily's arms dropped from around his neck, and her smile dropped from her face. "I know," she sighed. "I know, you're right. Appearances and stuff."
"Right," Remus said.
"But you know that IF you two don't switch tomorrow night, then everyone will just have to get used to it, anyway," Lily pointed out.
"What?" Remus asked.
"The whole me-dating-James-Potter thing," she said with a feral grin. "I bet nobody saw that coming, huh?"
Remus glanced at her. If he didn't know better, he'd say she seemed a little too happy about the whole situation. It was almost as if . . . as if she didn't want them to switch back. As if she were perfectly fine with him being in James's body for the rest of his life. Remus felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He didn't want to believe it, but a small part of him thought that Lily liked the attention of being with the famous James Potter more than she liked being with him.
He took a deep breath. "I think . . . I think we shouldn't kiss anymore. Until James and I switch back," he said, his gaze riveted on the grass beneath them.
"Why?" she asked immediately. "What's wrong?"
His cheeks reddened. He was starting to feel a little embarrassed. "Because," he said, softly, "I feel like, when you kiss me, you imagine that you're really kissing James."
Immediately, she drew in a sharp breath, and when she spoke, her voice was cold like ice. "Are you accusing me of having a sordid fantasy about Potter?"
Remus looked up, surprised at her tone. "No," he said. "I-I just thought that if someone saw us, they'd get the wrong idea."
"News flash! People already saw us, Remus!" Lily exclaimed. "They already HAVE the wrong idea!"
"Lily, you're taking this the wrong way," Remus said, sighing.
"Then, explain it to me," she said. "Because from what I'm hearing, it sounds like my own boyfriend doesn't want to be seen in public with me."
"That's just the thing, Lily!" Remus said. "In this body, I'm NOT your boyfriend! You're not kissing me, Remus Lupin! You're kissing me, JAMES POTTER!"
Lily stared at him, disgust written all over her face. "You know what I think? I think you're just insecure. I think that you're afraid that if you two switch back, I'm going to change my mind and pick him instead because I like the THRILL of being with James Potter."
"That-that's not true - " he stammered. But he was lying. She had hit the nail on the head. That's exactly what he was afraid of.
"I think that you're afraid that if you two switch back, people are going to say, 'Wait! Did she just dump hot, sexy James Potter for boring, studious Remus Lupin? What's the MATTER with her? There's nothing special about Remus!'" Lily was literally shaking from anger now.
Remus's face was red with humiliation.
"You are a bloody coward!" Lily hissed. "You have no self-confidence in yourself! I have no idea how YOU ended up in Gryffindor, because you are nothing but a – "
"MAYBE I'M JUST SCARED OF LOSING YOU, LILY!" Remus yelled.
Lily drew back, staring at him in surprise. She had never heard Remus raise his voice, before. "Remus – "
"STOP! Just stop," Remus said, his eyes burning with tears. "You look at me differently, now, do you know that?" She just kept staring at him, so he continued. "You look at me like . . . I don't know, like you're really happy, but . . . I'm not the one you're happy with. And I've seen you around James. You don't even LOOK at him, Lily. You don't! And then I imagine myself in my body again, and I imagine that I'm the one you're NOT looking at. And James is the one you ARE."
There was a long moment in which Remus stared at Lily willing her to reply, and Lily stared at the ground. Then, she looked up at him, the expression on her face hardened. And her eyes were dry.
"Like I said before," she stated, "you're just insecure."
Remus sank into the grass and watched her walk back up to the school without him.
---
As soon as she was out of Remus's sight, Lily broke into a run. Tears were streaming down her face. 'How dare he!' she thought, angrily. 'How dare he accuse me of liking Potter!' She was so caught up in her thoughts that she wasn't watching where she was going, and ran into someone.
"Evans." She looked up into the face of . . . Remus Lupin. James Potter. Bugger. He was the last person she wanted to see.
"Potter," she said, stepping back a bit. "What are you doing outside?"
"Why are you crying?" he asked, ignoring her question with one of his own. He looked genuinely concerned. And more than a little uneasy.
"None of your business," she said, shortly.
"Wait, Evans," he caught her arm as she was leaving and pulled him back towards her. Lily gasped in surprise. He was strong. VERY strong. His grip on her arm was near to cutting off her circulation. She stared up at him.
"What do you want?" she asked, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her arm. "And let go of me."
He released her, immediately. "Sorry," he said. "I just want to know what's wrong. Maybe . . .maybe I can help."
---
She narrowed her eyes. "And why would you want to do a thing like that?" she asked, suspiciously.
"Because I . . ." he blushed, stopping suddenly. He had been about to say, "Because I like you," but he had a strong feeling that it wouldn't have gone over so well.
"I . . ." he sighed. "I just want to show you, Evans, that maybe I'm not as bad as you think I am."
"Not as bad as I think you are?" she repeated, disbelievingly. Her voice rose an octave. "You tricked your friend into becoming YOU, so you could try and get into my pants! Not to mention that your friend was unwilling!"
He winced. She WOULD bring that up again. "Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I just thought that maybe if I . . . I didn't know about you and Remus. I thought maybe he could help me . . . and you would finally give me a chance."
"A chance to WHAT, Potter?" she raged. "I DON'T LIKE YOU, or haven't you noticed!"
"I've noticed," he said, feeling defeated. "I've definitely noticed."
She shook her head. "I'm going back to the castle, Potter. I'm not going to stand here and argue about something meaningless."
"It's not meaningless!" James said, reaching out and grabbing her arm again before she could walk away. How could she say that? How could she call his – he swallowed - love for her something meaningless?
"Let me go, Potter! Let me go, or I swear I'll risk detention and hex you!" Lily threatened.
James did not let her go. "You like Remus, don't you?" he said, desperately. "Well, I'm him, Lily! For now, I'm him!"
Before she had a chance to reply, he had sealed his lips over hers.
---
Lily froze. Remus's lips – her boyfriend's warm, familiar lips were over hers again. Finally. 'But, he's Potter!' her mind, protested. 'He's James Potter, not Remus!' But those lips . . . that hair . . . this expression. It was so Remus.
And so, she kissed him back.
---
The following morning, all of the Marauders and Lily sat up in the boys' dormitory. They had half an hour before classes and it was the day that the boys were – hopefully – going to switch back.
Lily sat in a chair, her head in her hands. Yesterday had been quite a day. After Potter had kissed her, she'd slapped him. Then, she had run up to the castle, flung herself on her bed and cried. And now, she didn't know what to think.
The tension in the room was thick. As far as Lily knew, Potter hadn't told anyone about their stolen kiss, but the argument that she and Remus had had still hung heavily in the air. No one knew about their fight, but the others sensed something was wrong. She hadn't even spoken to Remus this morning. The only one she talked to was Sirius.
"It should happen in a little bit," Sirius said, breaking the silence.
Lily, careful not to meet anyone else's eyes, looked up at him. "What?" she asked.
"Remus should fall asleep. Like he did before," Sirius said.
"Oh," Lily said. They had filled her in on how everyone changed the first time. Lily had found the whole sleeping thing rather odd, and she figured that it played a key factor in their transformation.
"What if I don't fall asleep this time?" Remus asked, gloomily.
"You WILL," Sirius said, fiercely. "There's no 'what if' involved."
Lily sighed. She was so confused. At first she hadn't wanted Remus to switch back, and not just because she was known as James Potter's girl, but also because she didn't want him to have to deal with the monstrosity every month. If anyone had to go through that, she would rather that it wasn't Remus. He was the kindest person Lily knew, and he didn't deserve it.
However, now, she was mixed up inside. James had kissed her. In Remus's body. To everyone else, it would have looked as if she were cheating on James Potter with one of his best friends. But that was the friend she was supposed to be with in the first place. And to him, she really WOULD have been cheating with one of his best friends.
It made her wonder. For appearances sake, this whole time, shouldn't she have been making out with James in Remus's body? It would have made a lot more sense. They didn't have to be REALLY making out, either. It would have been just for show until the boys switched back.
Internally, she groaned. They had really messed up.
---
James felt awful. Awful and guilty. Sure, he had had his moment of heaven, but at what price? Karma was a bitch.
He gazed at Lily, and was not surprised to find that she was very carefully NOT looking back at him. Hurt welled up inside of him. They had definitely shared something last night. Never mind that she was his friend's girlfriend. He had liked her first, and he still did.
And he probably still would for a very long time.
---
Remus's stomach was churning unpleasantly. He was tired. Tired and hungry. Tired and hungry was never a good combination. Plus Lily was still angry with him. She hadn't looked at him once this morning.
Her angry words came back to hurt him, 'You are a bloody coward! You have no self-confidence in yourself . . . You're just insecure.' He frowned. So what if he was? Was he not allowed to be afraid?
He glanced at her. She had put her head back down in her hands. Her hair was falling through her fingers like silk. He smiled, slightly. She was still beautiful, even when she was upset.
'But I don't want her to be upset,' he thought.
He took a deep breath. "Lily? Can I – ?" Just as she looked up at him, he was overcome by a feeling of nausea. The room started to swim. "Whoa," he said, weakly.
He was vaguely aware of her saying his name before he was enveloped in darkness.
---
Lily's eyes widened. "What's happening? Black, what's happening? Did he faint? Is that how he fell asleep before?" She was aware that she was panicking, but she really didn't care. In two seconds, she was over at Remus's side.
"Sirius!" she exclaimed, in her excitement forgetting to use his last name. "I think he's changing back!"
Sirius was over there faster than she had been. "Hey, you're right! Look! He's getting smaller!"
Lily stopped and scowled at him. "Remus is NOT small."
He smirked. "And you would know, right?" Her face flushed, and she turned back towards Remus, deciding to ignore him.
He was himself, now. She smiled, starting to get a bit misty eyed. "Well, he'll be happy when he wakes up," she said, mostly to herself. She took a hand and ran it through his hair. It was long, just like she remembered it . . . Just like it had been last night . . .
Gasping, she took a step back, and pulled her hand with her.
"What's the matter with you, Evans?" Sirius said, looking at her strangely.
She took a deep breath and didn't answer him. Remus was definitely lying on that bed. So how come . . . she was picturing Potter there, instead? In her mind, she kept seeing it – Potter kiss her – over and over again. She shut her eyes tightly, willing the images to go away. Was this how she was going to see him from now on? As Potter? What if, every time she looked at him from now on, she saw Potter kiss her in her mind?
She spun around and glared furiously, tears welling up in her eyes. There was Potter. Still in Remus's body. Staring at her in concern . . . Concern! Yeah, right! "This is all your fault!" she hissed.
Then, she turned and ran from the room, not bothering to close the door behind her. And the tears cascaded down her face.
---
"You're pretty when you cry," his soft voice said from her doorway.
Lily sat up and turned. She hadn't even heard her dormitory door open. "Remus?"
"I wish I could say yes," he said, sighing.
Her eyes narrowed. "Potter. Go away. I do NOT want to see you."
"Lily, listen to me, please."
"Don't call me Lily!" she said. "And how did you get up here, anyway?"
"Marauder secret," he said, giving her Remus's smile. She glowered, and the smile faded from his face. "Lily . . . I want to apologize about last night. I know I put you on the spot and I'm sorry."
She turned crimson. "Could we not talk about that ever again?" she asked. "It was a mistake, Potter. I was confused."
A hurt look passed over his face that she just barely missed. "On one condition," he said, walking over to her.
She frowned. "What?"
He sat down on her bed, and turned to face her. "That I get to kiss you again."
Her eyes widened. "THAT is BLACKMAIL," she said, angry and shocked.
"I know," he said, seriously. His face was very close now. Lily started to pull away, but he snaked one arm around her, and pulled her to him. There was a second, one moment, where she could have stopped him.
She didn't.
---
A/N: Hm. That's longer than usual. I couldn't think of a way to shorten it, though, so . . . Oh well! Don't worry, guys! It's still a Remus/Lily, but that dirty, dirty James is blackmailing her! I don't know about you, but I sure wouldn't mind being blackmailed by him.
You Review, Me Update (smile!)
Ariana S.
OVER A HUNDRED REVIEWS!!! YAY!!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!
A/N: I just finished the entire story, but I'm not going to put it up for a while because I'm making "adjustments" to everything. lol - I'm starting to think I'm obsessed. Seems like all I do is write these days. I write, and then I get in trouble for staying on the computer too long. My eyes are permanently red. I'm tired. Oh, so tired. But that's okay! Because I love it! Maybe it's the reviews that I'm hooked on – all of your comments. You are all so nice to me! (Heehee, so much for not caring what other people think!)
I'M NOT GOING TO REPLY TO PEOPLE THIS TIME BECAUSE IT WOULD RUIN THE SURPRISE!!! SORRY!
Except for Sarah "Jessica" Warder who posed a very interesting question. She said: "Why don't they just speed up another Polyjuice Potion and hope it switches them back?"
Answer: Because! Think about it for a sec. What if that book that Lily found IS telling the truth and they WILL eventually switch back to their original bodies, but they don't know that they will, so they take another Polyjuice Potion before then? When the time comes to switch back, instead of staying in their own bodies, they'll just switch right back to the other person's body. Sorry if that's confusing, but it makes sense when you think about it.
To Everyone Else: NO, I'M NOT PLAYING FAVORITES. That was just a really interesting question that I felt I had to answer because it crossed my mind earlier when I was writing, and I guessed a few of you would point that out and start to wonder.
So Bravo to Sarah "Jessica" Warder! And now, on with all of the answers to your questions! More story!
---
Disclaimer: This is called "fanfiction" . net. The very idea that you would have to put a disclaimer on a story is ludicrous.
Chapter Fourteen – the taste of forbidden things
Lily hooked her arms around James's neck, smiled, and then kissed him right in the middle of the quidditch field. At least, that's how it looked to the crowd of students and teachers heading back towards the school. But it was Remus who was on the receiving end of that kiss, not James.
"Lily, we lost," Remus muttered, turning red.
"I know," she said, playfully. "That's to make you feel better."
Remus smiled, then his face turned serious. "You know, we really shouldn't be doing this in public."
All at once, Lily's arms dropped from around his neck, and her smile dropped from her face. "I know," she sighed. "I know, you're right. Appearances and stuff."
"Right," Remus said.
"But you know that IF you two don't switch tomorrow night, then everyone will just have to get used to it, anyway," Lily pointed out.
"What?" Remus asked.
"The whole me-dating-James-Potter thing," she said with a feral grin. "I bet nobody saw that coming, huh?"
Remus glanced at her. If he didn't know better, he'd say she seemed a little too happy about the whole situation. It was almost as if . . . as if she didn't want them to switch back. As if she were perfectly fine with him being in James's body for the rest of his life. Remus felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He didn't want to believe it, but a small part of him thought that Lily liked the attention of being with the famous James Potter more than she liked being with him.
He took a deep breath. "I think . . . I think we shouldn't kiss anymore. Until James and I switch back," he said, his gaze riveted on the grass beneath them.
"Why?" she asked immediately. "What's wrong?"
His cheeks reddened. He was starting to feel a little embarrassed. "Because," he said, softly, "I feel like, when you kiss me, you imagine that you're really kissing James."
Immediately, she drew in a sharp breath, and when she spoke, her voice was cold like ice. "Are you accusing me of having a sordid fantasy about Potter?"
Remus looked up, surprised at her tone. "No," he said. "I-I just thought that if someone saw us, they'd get the wrong idea."
"News flash! People already saw us, Remus!" Lily exclaimed. "They already HAVE the wrong idea!"
"Lily, you're taking this the wrong way," Remus said, sighing.
"Then, explain it to me," she said. "Because from what I'm hearing, it sounds like my own boyfriend doesn't want to be seen in public with me."
"That's just the thing, Lily!" Remus said. "In this body, I'm NOT your boyfriend! You're not kissing me, Remus Lupin! You're kissing me, JAMES POTTER!"
Lily stared at him, disgust written all over her face. "You know what I think? I think you're just insecure. I think that you're afraid that if you two switch back, I'm going to change my mind and pick him instead because I like the THRILL of being with James Potter."
"That-that's not true - " he stammered. But he was lying. She had hit the nail on the head. That's exactly what he was afraid of.
"I think that you're afraid that if you two switch back, people are going to say, 'Wait! Did she just dump hot, sexy James Potter for boring, studious Remus Lupin? What's the MATTER with her? There's nothing special about Remus!'" Lily was literally shaking from anger now.
Remus's face was red with humiliation.
"You are a bloody coward!" Lily hissed. "You have no self-confidence in yourself! I have no idea how YOU ended up in Gryffindor, because you are nothing but a – "
"MAYBE I'M JUST SCARED OF LOSING YOU, LILY!" Remus yelled.
Lily drew back, staring at him in surprise. She had never heard Remus raise his voice, before. "Remus – "
"STOP! Just stop," Remus said, his eyes burning with tears. "You look at me differently, now, do you know that?" She just kept staring at him, so he continued. "You look at me like . . . I don't know, like you're really happy, but . . . I'm not the one you're happy with. And I've seen you around James. You don't even LOOK at him, Lily. You don't! And then I imagine myself in my body again, and I imagine that I'm the one you're NOT looking at. And James is the one you ARE."
There was a long moment in which Remus stared at Lily willing her to reply, and Lily stared at the ground. Then, she looked up at him, the expression on her face hardened. And her eyes were dry.
"Like I said before," she stated, "you're just insecure."
Remus sank into the grass and watched her walk back up to the school without him.
---
As soon as she was out of Remus's sight, Lily broke into a run. Tears were streaming down her face. 'How dare he!' she thought, angrily. 'How dare he accuse me of liking Potter!' She was so caught up in her thoughts that she wasn't watching where she was going, and ran into someone.
"Evans." She looked up into the face of . . . Remus Lupin. James Potter. Bugger. He was the last person she wanted to see.
"Potter," she said, stepping back a bit. "What are you doing outside?"
"Why are you crying?" he asked, ignoring her question with one of his own. He looked genuinely concerned. And more than a little uneasy.
"None of your business," she said, shortly.
"Wait, Evans," he caught her arm as she was leaving and pulled him back towards her. Lily gasped in surprise. He was strong. VERY strong. His grip on her arm was near to cutting off her circulation. She stared up at him.
"What do you want?" she asked, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her arm. "And let go of me."
He released her, immediately. "Sorry," he said. "I just want to know what's wrong. Maybe . . .maybe I can help."
---
She narrowed her eyes. "And why would you want to do a thing like that?" she asked, suspiciously.
"Because I . . ." he blushed, stopping suddenly. He had been about to say, "Because I like you," but he had a strong feeling that it wouldn't have gone over so well.
"I . . ." he sighed. "I just want to show you, Evans, that maybe I'm not as bad as you think I am."
"Not as bad as I think you are?" she repeated, disbelievingly. Her voice rose an octave. "You tricked your friend into becoming YOU, so you could try and get into my pants! Not to mention that your friend was unwilling!"
He winced. She WOULD bring that up again. "Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I just thought that maybe if I . . . I didn't know about you and Remus. I thought maybe he could help me . . . and you would finally give me a chance."
"A chance to WHAT, Potter?" she raged. "I DON'T LIKE YOU, or haven't you noticed!"
"I've noticed," he said, feeling defeated. "I've definitely noticed."
She shook her head. "I'm going back to the castle, Potter. I'm not going to stand here and argue about something meaningless."
"It's not meaningless!" James said, reaching out and grabbing her arm again before she could walk away. How could she say that? How could she call his – he swallowed - love for her something meaningless?
"Let me go, Potter! Let me go, or I swear I'll risk detention and hex you!" Lily threatened.
James did not let her go. "You like Remus, don't you?" he said, desperately. "Well, I'm him, Lily! For now, I'm him!"
Before she had a chance to reply, he had sealed his lips over hers.
---
Lily froze. Remus's lips – her boyfriend's warm, familiar lips were over hers again. Finally. 'But, he's Potter!' her mind, protested. 'He's James Potter, not Remus!' But those lips . . . that hair . . . this expression. It was so Remus.
And so, she kissed him back.
---
The following morning, all of the Marauders and Lily sat up in the boys' dormitory. They had half an hour before classes and it was the day that the boys were – hopefully – going to switch back.
Lily sat in a chair, her head in her hands. Yesterday had been quite a day. After Potter had kissed her, she'd slapped him. Then, she had run up to the castle, flung herself on her bed and cried. And now, she didn't know what to think.
The tension in the room was thick. As far as Lily knew, Potter hadn't told anyone about their stolen kiss, but the argument that she and Remus had had still hung heavily in the air. No one knew about their fight, but the others sensed something was wrong. She hadn't even spoken to Remus this morning. The only one she talked to was Sirius.
"It should happen in a little bit," Sirius said, breaking the silence.
Lily, careful not to meet anyone else's eyes, looked up at him. "What?" she asked.
"Remus should fall asleep. Like he did before," Sirius said.
"Oh," Lily said. They had filled her in on how everyone changed the first time. Lily had found the whole sleeping thing rather odd, and she figured that it played a key factor in their transformation.
"What if I don't fall asleep this time?" Remus asked, gloomily.
"You WILL," Sirius said, fiercely. "There's no 'what if' involved."
Lily sighed. She was so confused. At first she hadn't wanted Remus to switch back, and not just because she was known as James Potter's girl, but also because she didn't want him to have to deal with the monstrosity every month. If anyone had to go through that, she would rather that it wasn't Remus. He was the kindest person Lily knew, and he didn't deserve it.
However, now, she was mixed up inside. James had kissed her. In Remus's body. To everyone else, it would have looked as if she were cheating on James Potter with one of his best friends. But that was the friend she was supposed to be with in the first place. And to him, she really WOULD have been cheating with one of his best friends.
It made her wonder. For appearances sake, this whole time, shouldn't she have been making out with James in Remus's body? It would have made a lot more sense. They didn't have to be REALLY making out, either. It would have been just for show until the boys switched back.
Internally, she groaned. They had really messed up.
---
James felt awful. Awful and guilty. Sure, he had had his moment of heaven, but at what price? Karma was a bitch.
He gazed at Lily, and was not surprised to find that she was very carefully NOT looking back at him. Hurt welled up inside of him. They had definitely shared something last night. Never mind that she was his friend's girlfriend. He had liked her first, and he still did.
And he probably still would for a very long time.
---
Remus's stomach was churning unpleasantly. He was tired. Tired and hungry. Tired and hungry was never a good combination. Plus Lily was still angry with him. She hadn't looked at him once this morning.
Her angry words came back to hurt him, 'You are a bloody coward! You have no self-confidence in yourself . . . You're just insecure.' He frowned. So what if he was? Was he not allowed to be afraid?
He glanced at her. She had put her head back down in her hands. Her hair was falling through her fingers like silk. He smiled, slightly. She was still beautiful, even when she was upset.
'But I don't want her to be upset,' he thought.
He took a deep breath. "Lily? Can I – ?" Just as she looked up at him, he was overcome by a feeling of nausea. The room started to swim. "Whoa," he said, weakly.
He was vaguely aware of her saying his name before he was enveloped in darkness.
---
Lily's eyes widened. "What's happening? Black, what's happening? Did he faint? Is that how he fell asleep before?" She was aware that she was panicking, but she really didn't care. In two seconds, she was over at Remus's side.
"Sirius!" she exclaimed, in her excitement forgetting to use his last name. "I think he's changing back!"
Sirius was over there faster than she had been. "Hey, you're right! Look! He's getting smaller!"
Lily stopped and scowled at him. "Remus is NOT small."
He smirked. "And you would know, right?" Her face flushed, and she turned back towards Remus, deciding to ignore him.
He was himself, now. She smiled, starting to get a bit misty eyed. "Well, he'll be happy when he wakes up," she said, mostly to herself. She took a hand and ran it through his hair. It was long, just like she remembered it . . . Just like it had been last night . . .
Gasping, she took a step back, and pulled her hand with her.
"What's the matter with you, Evans?" Sirius said, looking at her strangely.
She took a deep breath and didn't answer him. Remus was definitely lying on that bed. So how come . . . she was picturing Potter there, instead? In her mind, she kept seeing it – Potter kiss her – over and over again. She shut her eyes tightly, willing the images to go away. Was this how she was going to see him from now on? As Potter? What if, every time she looked at him from now on, she saw Potter kiss her in her mind?
She spun around and glared furiously, tears welling up in her eyes. There was Potter. Still in Remus's body. Staring at her in concern . . . Concern! Yeah, right! "This is all your fault!" she hissed.
Then, she turned and ran from the room, not bothering to close the door behind her. And the tears cascaded down her face.
---
"You're pretty when you cry," his soft voice said from her doorway.
Lily sat up and turned. She hadn't even heard her dormitory door open. "Remus?"
"I wish I could say yes," he said, sighing.
Her eyes narrowed. "Potter. Go away. I do NOT want to see you."
"Lily, listen to me, please."
"Don't call me Lily!" she said. "And how did you get up here, anyway?"
"Marauder secret," he said, giving her Remus's smile. She glowered, and the smile faded from his face. "Lily . . . I want to apologize about last night. I know I put you on the spot and I'm sorry."
She turned crimson. "Could we not talk about that ever again?" she asked. "It was a mistake, Potter. I was confused."
A hurt look passed over his face that she just barely missed. "On one condition," he said, walking over to her.
She frowned. "What?"
He sat down on her bed, and turned to face her. "That I get to kiss you again."
Her eyes widened. "THAT is BLACKMAIL," she said, angry and shocked.
"I know," he said, seriously. His face was very close now. Lily started to pull away, but he snaked one arm around her, and pulled her to him. There was a second, one moment, where she could have stopped him.
She didn't.
---
A/N: Hm. That's longer than usual. I couldn't think of a way to shorten it, though, so . . . Oh well! Don't worry, guys! It's still a Remus/Lily, but that dirty, dirty James is blackmailing her! I don't know about you, but I sure wouldn't mind being blackmailed by him.
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Ariana S.