Disclaimer: I don't own anything accept Eleni, Lena, and some of their smart-ass comments. I might add some new characters at the end. (Their parents, siblings, friends, etc.) Later there will be quotes from other movies. I will tell you the quote, movie, character, and actor at the end of the chapter.

Author's Note: This one was much faster. HAHA! I redeem myself in the eyes of my few reviewers. I'm gonna be posting some of my other stories fairly soon. I got a Star Wars humor. A LOTR/SW crossover, Obi-Wan sucked into ME. And a LOTR action/adventure with a little romance. Lemme no which one you want first and I'll try to get it out.

Two Girls and a World in Confusion

Chapter 7: He's Dead Jim

After hours of jogging the fellowship finally reached the outskirts of Lothlorien.

"This is—misery. I want—the fat—elf to—come already." Eleni panted, then she stopped suddenly and shouted to the leader. "Aragorn! I gotta—pee." He rolled his eyes.

"That's probably the third time you've that so far."

"Fourth." Legolas muttered under his breath. Boromir smacked him.

"Yea. Well if you were in my position you'd need a break too." Eleni retorted, partially fake panting forgotten.

"Let's hope that never happens." The ranger said with a smirk. "We'll wait a minute. Find a bush." Eleni stomped off. "ONE MINUTE!" he yelled after her. She flipped him off.

"The dwarf breathes so loudly we could have shot him in the dark."

"OH THANK THE VALAR!" Lena screamed. She and Eleni threw themselves at Haldir, hugging him tightly.

"Do I know you?" he asked slightly frightened.

"No. But we are so glad to see you right now." Eleni said in almost dreamy tone. Lena nudged her, and raised in eyebrow.

'Hey he's cuter than in the movies.' Eleni mouthed to her confused sister.

"You're arrival symbolizes the close proximity to bathrooms." she continued aloud, and Lena began to chuckle. The Lothlorien elf looked at Aragorn with as much confused terror on his face as is possible for an elf.

"Nyarin telwa." the ranger replied. Hladir nodded and motioned for them to follow him. ('I'll explain later.' It actually means 'I tell late.' I'm sorry. It's the closest I could get.)

"…yea so me and my sister. We've been traveling with them for like forever. And Aragorn smokes WAY too much. I mean you think at 87 he'd learn to quit cause it's bad for him. But Nnoo! He's too smart for that, and he's still as fit as ever. I mean talk about a cruel world. It ain't fair!" Eleni pouted. She'd been gabbing for at least an hour now. "But anyway. It's like we're in the shitty caves for days. And I'm not a big fan of sun, but seriously I was dying for some sort of natural light. And then Boromir starts complaining about women and shit like that. He almost fell when we were running from the balrog, but a certain idiot blond just HAD to go and save him. And now we're outta the orc hole but I gotta go pee every three seconds cause of…you know…girl stuff. And Aragorn's rushing me, and threatening to leave me behind and all…which I suppose would be too bad but still it's the principle of the matter…yea, so to sum it all up: you're a god-send." There was a relatively long pause.

"I do believe this is the first time you've stopped talking for an entire minute." Haldir said nonchalantly. Eleni checked her watch.

"Yep!" she replied perkily. "We almost there?…"

"Almost. Why?" the elf asked cautiously.

'I gotta go."

"Again!?"

"Yea…"

"Halt!" everyone stopped. "Lady Eleni." Haldir started exasperatedly. "How many times have you 'needed to go' within the past hour?"

"I lost count…Look. I'm sorry, but it's the laws of nature. You of all beings should respect that."

"Fine, but we're using the one minute rule."

"Ten there are here, but eleven there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me: Where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him."

"He is-" Galadriel began.

"He's dead, Jim." Lena interrupted. Celeborn glanced at her half-confused, half-outraged that she dared to interrupt his wife. Everyone glared at her, with the exception of Eleni, who was too busy laughing. Galadriel continued.

"He is fallen into shadow. The quest stands on the edge of a knife, stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the company is true. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now, and rest, for you are weary with toil and much sorrow. Tonight you shall sleep in peace." Then she began talking in Frodo's head. However, Eleni broke her concentration on Frodo's mind as the Fellowship was prepared to leave.

"Great pep talk Dude." She said, giving the thumbs sign. "I feel all warm and fuzzy inside…now that you've told we're going to certain death." It was now Eleni's turn to receive glares, and Lena's to laugh.

The Fellowship was gathered on the ground in the space allotted for them to spend the night, when they heard elven voices singing in the distance.

"A lament for Gandalf."

"What did they say about him?" Merry asked.

"I have not the heart to tell you…" he began, when Eleni broke in.

"Do you have the brains?" she asked.

Reviews:

Jade, The BAD Twin: I hope you liked this one too. I'm happy to no that I'm on somebody's favorite stories list. I looked you up. So, you and Rene are twins? Is that fun, having a twin, and lotsa siblings. I only got one sister. I also noticed you have Lady Laswen in your favorites. I love her! She and 'HealerAriel' are the ones who really got me into humor fics.

Next update: God knows what. Maybe more in Lothlorien. Maybe not.

Quotes:

"He's dead, Jim", Star Trek 3 or 4 (not sure which. If I got any trekkies out there please don't kill me it's been awhile since I saw the movies.), Dr. McCoy, DeForrest Kelley (pretty sure.) (LOL that was sad.)