Chapter Thirty-One: Devastation
"Mira…you do not love a wild beast…do you?"
You do not answer the question, of course, but that does not mean it does not haunt you. You begin to wonder about yourself. Do you, indeed, love a wild beast?
Van Helsing looks a bit hurt when he sees that you are not answering. "I'm going to go look at that gold plate with Carl and Father Delavego," he states, getting up. He does not look at you. "If you come up with any more brilliant plans, you know where I'll be." Then he leaves. You sigh, watching him walk off.
Brilliant plans, me! You think dryly as you go for a walk. Your feet lead you to the local church. You walk up the battered steps, through the heavy doors, and into the sanctuary. You rub your neck slightly, which has still been burning for all this time. But the bite-marks are scabbed over and healing. Some part of you believes that Vladislaus was not actually trying to kill you.
Well, now you are at a loss for organized plans. You must somehow get the antidote…hopefully Dracula at least brings that. Then you can kill him, if you have the strength. Lately, you feel as if you may be falling for Dracula. But that is ridiculous, of course. You hate him. You want him dead. Right?
You sit in one of the front pews of the church in silence. "What do you want me to do, God?" You finally ask to the silence. You expect no response, but you hope that the echo of your question will invoke some faith within your heart; faith that you have been lacking as of late. The echo returns from the rafters hollow. You sigh.
You love Gabriel, or, you think you do, at least. But promises are promises, especially to dark vampire lords. Then you start thinking about how stupid you must have been when you were Adriana. Everything just seems so confusing; you do not want to think about it. You hear footsteps and look up to see Vladimir. He joins you silently.
"May we talk?" He asks cautiously. You nod. Ah, more bad news probably…
"Ask me anything. Nothing matters anymore." You smile wryly at the cross in the front of the church. He pauses, seemingly reluctant to speak.
"Mira, I do not want to add to your burdens, for you bear many," he starts. You try not to roll your eyes and say, 'Here it comes.' "I have absolutely no right to think what I think about you, and absolutely no right to feel what I feel about you."
"Thoughts are never wrong or right; they are only thoughts. And feelings cannot be helped. So please continue," You state, trying not to get annoyed. You do not look at him. You stare straight ahead as if you are focused.
"Mira," he sighs uncomfortably, "I don't pretend to be a man of words, because I am not. I know I am old, I am battered, perhaps I am selfish at times, and a complete moron at that." He pauses again. "Will you look at me?" You turn and look at him finally. "Mira, I may be all of these things that are bad to you, but I delight in your happiness." You roll your eyes and get up, starting to pace in front of the pew. He seems baffled, and watches you for a moment. "Mira…?"
"Continue," you say gruffly. You feel like you are going cold now. But it does not matter.
"Perhaps this all sounds very cliché to you, Mira, but I think I love you," he says.
"Think?" You laugh slightly, "Been there, said that, and done that, Vladimir." He is silent. "I am quite tired of love confessions and false promises," you continue, "I do not want any part in it anymore."
"And Van Helsing…?" Vladimir seems befuddled now, and hurt.
"Well, if you were watching, Van Helsing and I are not on good terms at the moment," you say, continuing to pace restlessly. "I just want my task on earth to be fulfilled."
"I am speechless," states Vladimir. He sits there in dumbfounded silence. I am speechless? The thought that he said that makes you want to laugh now. You hide your smirk.
"My soul is older than yours," you finally say, "My soul is but a little younger than the body of Vladislaus Dracula. He has hunted me, killed me, seduced me, and yet he still loves me after all I have done to him. Now if you ask me, that is true love."
"…Mira, no!" Exclaims Vladimir, "You are letting yourself fall to him. This is what he wants!"
"This is what he has, Vladimir," you say, pacing faster now, "I cannot just walk away from a destiny I have not fulfilled."
"What is that destiny?" Asks Vladimir, shifting nervously.
"That destiny is with Dracula. That is where I belong." You state.
"He will not love you," says Vladimir, "He is incapable of it. He may cherish your love for him, indulge in the passions you can give him, indulge in the passions he can give you, but he can never truly love you. That is something that requires a soul."
"Oh, and I suppose you are better than that?" You demand, looking at him with a fiery gaze now. He stops speaking and just stares at you in shock. He finally sighs and nods, getting up. He straightens and bows slightly.
"I can see you are troubled, and will bother you no more," he says, "I will see you later." With that, he exits. You immediately feel terrible, and a knot rises in your throat. Finally, you break down again, falling at the foot of the cross in a temperamental agony. And you must cry alone, for everyone else is off doing something constructive.
"Why me, God!?" You ask to the silence. You cry for a good hour until you finally force yourself to rise shakily and exit the church. The townspeople have organized themselves into regiments, and are now rigging up crucifixes and silver stakes in the street for the vampires. You can see that some are mapping out plans. You smile slightly through your solemn countenance and then return to the manor. At least someone appears to know what they are doing.
You ascend the stairs to the library warily and enter in on Carl, Gabriel, and Father Delavego. "What did we discover?" You ask.
"The plate has gone missing," states Father Delavego, "It is no longer there." You sigh, sitting exhausted in one of the armchairs.
"Great," you breathe sarcastically.
"And all the other texts are not providing any more information with regards to Dracula," says Carl, "Well, nothing that we already know." Van Helsing is silent. His eyes are downcast, his hands resting on his hat. He looks as if he is thinking.
"I've simplified our course of action," you finally say, "We get the antidote, revive Van Helsing, and let me deal with Dracula. Carl, you can set off that light device of yours in the street to kill off the vampires." Everyone just looks at you solemnly. "That's it," you mumble, before turning on your heel and walking out. You need to sleep, and change into some different clothes…something more revealing.
As you walk across the ballroom, you hear someone following you. When you look over your shoulder, you see Gabriel. Sighing, you look forward and continue walking. He, however, catches up and blocks your path.
"Mira, tell me what's going on," he says, staring at you seriously. You look at him, conflicted.
"I told you what the plans were. I need to rest now," you finally say, moving past him. He blocks you again.
"I want to know what you mean by 'let me deal with Dracula,'" he says, "There are several ways of 'dealing with Dracula.'"
"I plan on seducing him and killing him," you say bluntly, moving past him again.
"Seducing? Why seducing? Why not just kill him?" Asks Gabriel, following you now.
"It will hurt him more if I seduce and then kill," you say. This is a lie, but you do not care anymore.
"You are betraying us for real, are you not?" Asks Van Helsing. He blocks your entrance into your room. You glare at him.
"Promises are promises," you say, "Let me pass, I must rest."
"Yes, let her pass, Van Helsing," comes a voice out of nowhere. You both look up to see Vladimir stepping out of the shadows. He draws his sword, his eyes firmly scrutinizing Van Helsing. There is silence. You are shocked. Is he challenging Van Helsing?
"What do you want, Vladimir?" Asks Van Helsing.
"Fight me, Van Helsing," states Vladimir.
"Fight you for what reason? We are all friends," says Van Helsing, "There is no reason to argue amongst ourselves." He is now approaching Vladimir slowly.
"Fight me for her," says Vladimir, calmly.
"All right, all right!" You finally come between the two. "Put that thing away, Vladimir. Let's not be childish about this. I am not some kind of object to be ruled. Maybe I don't want either one of you, for that matter!" You are getting aggravated with the situation. "At any rate, we have a job to do, I need to sleep, and you two must not fight!" Vladimir and Van Helsing are staring intently at one another now, and if looks could kill, both would be dead. You sigh.
"Okay, Vladimir, you go that way. Van Helsing, you go that way. And if I hear anything about you two fighting, you can expect I will do something absolutely terrifying, and you will very much regret you ever crossed blades, flesh, or bullets!" You open your door, enter your room, and slam your door, flinging yourself into bed with an exasperated sigh. You are content to hear two pairs of footsteps walking away from each other, and vanishing to separate corners of the manor.
You get up again with a sigh, and go to your closet. You nearly shudder, thinking of the things that might happen tonight. But you must do what you must do. You finally dig out a black corseted bustle-gown. It is fringed with black Venice lace and beaded in some areas. The neckline is wide and revealing, and the back sweeps down low into eight rows of lacing. It has a tremendous sweeping train and is made of a medium-weight silk. You sigh, slipping off your fighting clothes and into this beautiful gothic creation. You place your daggers and sword strategically underneath the bed, just within reach.
Then you lay down to rest and wait. You dread what the night will bring, and yet…some part of you is excited. After all, this is finally going to be over…isn't it?
A/N: Yeah, I'm sorry. I had serious writer's block, and this story needs to die soon. It's 2:30 am, and I realize that some people were looking for another chapter (well, after all, it's been a while, has it not? -). Anywho, I luff you for reading and reviewing, so, even though this will be over soon, I hope you will continue your support.
GF