This is strictly PWP and OOC. I just want to see your reaction to it. Review so I know your reaction (like you couldn't have figured that out). Warnings: stupidity, idiocy, ridiculousness, absurdity and senselessness
/Accursed pole./
I struggle to free the rope binding my hands behind my back around a pole that is imbedded in the ground. No good.
/Perfect! Just what I need: people that can tie rope better than anyone on my back./
A low growl escapes the gag between my clenched teeth. I chuckle evilly as I think, /Stupid people need to gag me to keep me from snapping at them. Well, at least I gave them a nice scar to remember me by./
I shift my weight around on my knees, as my ankles are bound behind the pole as well. I can no longer feel my feet. Oh, joy.
Clicking my nails, I try to think of any possible way to escape my bounds. I think I must have some type of A.D.D. because all I can think of is how people whistle through their fingers. I can't do that. I've tried; I just don't see how it's possible. As a fact of the matter, I don't really have anything "special" that I can do. I can move the littlest toe of my right foot by itself. But I found someone else who can do that, too. Does that count for anything? I hope so, because I don't have anything else special. I'm like a sparrow. There's nothing special that I can show. I'm just another bird in the sky. I wish I could be a falcon; those are some cool birds, man. I mean, they're awesome hunters and they're beautiful birds of prey. And speaking of: why are they called "birds of prey"? Why aren't they called "birds of predator"? I mean, they hunt the prey; they are not "of the prey". They are "of the predator", they are the predator of the prey. I don't understand it. Then again, I don't understand many things. For example, why is it a "wood chuck"? They can't chuck wood. They don't even have the hands to chuck it. And why would you name an animal after another animal? Like the spider monkey… the poor monkey! The monkey isn't special enough, so it's going to be named after the spider, apparently. Stupid spider… I hate spiders. Even though I shouldn't hate them because they eat all the freaking flies. What is with the flies, anyhow? Sure, they feed animals, but they're disgusting with the whole "I like to hurl on carcasses then eat the mush that it makes" junk. It's nasty, is all I'm saying. And why are they all over the horses? Sure, they can be all over the horse's crap if it so suits them… but why are they near the actual horses? Are they waiting for the horses to dump it, or something? I mean, the poor horse has to twitch every two seconds and spazz when they get near its ears just so you can wait near it for the next time it takes a dump. And have you ever noticed how stupid flies really are. Here they are sitting on the glass of a window thinking, "If I stay really still, I might be able to sneak past and get outside." Or the other type of fly that thinks its head is a battering ram and flies into the glass over and over again until it passes out. I did that once. I didn't see the glass door and I walked into the glass. I think I did that more than once. Wow, it just occurred to me how much of an idiot I really am… for example, it took me until now just to realize how much of an idiot I really am.