LOTR With a TWIST!
The Elves. . .of Insanity!
Disclaimer: *in whiny voice* The dog ate it!
^*^*^*^
*After the Council of Elrond*
"Hey, Legolas," I called.
Legolas turned and smiled at Mandy, Andy and I. He walked over. "Yeah?"
"I was thinking. . ." I said. "We could be, like, a group. Y'know, like one that annoys people?"
Legolas thought it over. "OK," he said. "Count me in." We had been teaching Legolas the kind of speech used on Earth.
"Now. . .all we need is a name. . ." said Mandy. "How about, the Annoying Elves?"
"Nah," said Andy. "Elves of Annoyance?"
Then Legolas spoke up. "The Elves of Insanity?"
We all looked at him. "It's perfect!" said Andy.
"So we're the Elves of Insanity," said Andy. "Legolas, can you show us where the weapons are?"
"Sure, OK."
Legolas led us to Elrond's weapon cupboard.
"Hey," I said. "Here's two sai, and a bo!" Sai are a kind of Japanese sword, and a bo was a big wooden Japanese stick. Since I do karate, these were perfect for me. I also picked out a fancy bow and quiver, with lots of arrows.
Andy picked up two long swords and spun them around. "Cool," she said. She and Mandy also picked out a bow and arrows.
We all picked out Elven shields, and Mandy also picked six knives. "OK, Lego-man," she said. "Lead us to the clothes section."
Legolas did as he was told. "The clothes cupboard," he announced.
I opened the cupboard and found a little green tunic, like Link's from The Legend of Zelda, for anyone who has played those games. I put my sai, bo and bow in my belt, and the quiver went on the back of my tunic.
Andy, however, was more interested in a Japanese fighting dress. "Ooh, this is pretty," she commented. She changed into it. It was purple, blue and red, with little purple ribbons on the sides of the belt. She attached her swords to her belt, and did the same thing with her bow and arrows as I had mine.
Mandy went for the total brown look, with brown shirt, pants, jacket, belt and cloak. "OK, my knives can go in back of my jacket with my quiver, and my bow goes in my belt." She put her weapons away accordingly.
"Yay, OK we're ready," I said.
*Leaving Rivendell*
"You should fear the many eyes of the servants of Sauron," said Elrond as we stood outside Rivendell. "I do not doubt that the news of the discomfiture of the Riders has already reached him, and he will be filled with wrath. Soon now his spies on foot and wing will be abroad in the northern lands. Even of the sky above you must beware as you go on your way."
Borimir held up his war-horn. "Loud and clear it sounds in the valleys of the hills. Then let all the -"
"Yeah whatever," said Mandy. "Just don't blow the bloody horn, OK?"
Borimir put the horn away. ". . .OK."
There was a silence. Then, "That animal can nearly talk," Sam said, referring to Bill the Pony, "and would talk, if he stayed here much longer. He gave me a look as plain as Mr. Pippin could speak it: 'if you don't let me go with you, Sam, I'll follow on my own.'"
"Ummm. . .riiiiiight. . ." I said slowly. "OK let's go!"
"Wait," said Frodo. "Gandalf is not here yet!"
"Oh yeah," I said.
Sam spoke to Bill. "Bill, my lad, you oughtn't to have took up with us. You could have stayed here and et the best hay till the new grass comes."
"Don't you think that's kinda your fault?" Andy asked. "I mean, you could have left him here to eat hay and whatnot. But you didn't, and we're going to end up leaving him behind anyway."
"That will NEVER happen!" Sam practically yelled.
"Aaaaaw, OK, shhhhh. . ." soothed Maddy, running over to pat Sam on the head. The hobbits are some of her favourite characters.
Sam stood there, looking stunned and confused.
"Stop confusing him," Strider said irritably.
"I'm CALMING him DOWN, you moronic idiot mierda faced pig!" Maddy yelled loudly. (A/N: Mierda {spanish} = shit)
Everyone stared at her for a moment. Then Legolas, Andy and I fell on the ground laughing.
"Gandalf - hehehe - is - cough - here!" Legolas managed to choke out.
And indeed, Gandalf the wizard strode toward us.
"We all ready?" I asked impatiently. "Right then - let's go!"
^*^*^*^
Um. . .yeah. R&R. . .
OK! It seems that I forgot to put the Spanish to English translation in for chapter 3, and so hardly anyone knows what he said. Well, here is the translation!!:
"I said 'and you have my bow.' But I suppose that you could not understand me beacause you do not speak Spanish. The three Elven ladies taught to me to speak Spanish, and I am glad of it. It is a beautiful language. Can you understand me? I suppose not. Only the ladies can, only we four know it. Oh well, I assume that I will continue talking until you lose your minds, or kill me. Together, we will drive you all to the brink of insanity!!!!"
Okies, so, sorry about that, but now you know what he said! :D
Elf Faith: Thankyou, I'm glad that you find my story funny. I will update as soon as I can.
A'mael: I will take this fic through to the end, although it may take a while... keep reading!
Nitnat3: Ooh yay! Another person who read my sister's story too! Yes, it was a little short but I had run out of ideas. Well, this is a long(ish) chapter to make up for it. Hope you enjoyed it!!
Buh bye now!!!..........
The Elves. . .of Insanity!
Disclaimer: *in whiny voice* The dog ate it!
^*^*^*^
*After the Council of Elrond*
"Hey, Legolas," I called.
Legolas turned and smiled at Mandy, Andy and I. He walked over. "Yeah?"
"I was thinking. . ." I said. "We could be, like, a group. Y'know, like one that annoys people?"
Legolas thought it over. "OK," he said. "Count me in." We had been teaching Legolas the kind of speech used on Earth.
"Now. . .all we need is a name. . ." said Mandy. "How about, the Annoying Elves?"
"Nah," said Andy. "Elves of Annoyance?"
Then Legolas spoke up. "The Elves of Insanity?"
We all looked at him. "It's perfect!" said Andy.
"So we're the Elves of Insanity," said Andy. "Legolas, can you show us where the weapons are?"
"Sure, OK."
Legolas led us to Elrond's weapon cupboard.
"Hey," I said. "Here's two sai, and a bo!" Sai are a kind of Japanese sword, and a bo was a big wooden Japanese stick. Since I do karate, these were perfect for me. I also picked out a fancy bow and quiver, with lots of arrows.
Andy picked up two long swords and spun them around. "Cool," she said. She and Mandy also picked out a bow and arrows.
We all picked out Elven shields, and Mandy also picked six knives. "OK, Lego-man," she said. "Lead us to the clothes section."
Legolas did as he was told. "The clothes cupboard," he announced.
I opened the cupboard and found a little green tunic, like Link's from The Legend of Zelda, for anyone who has played those games. I put my sai, bo and bow in my belt, and the quiver went on the back of my tunic.
Andy, however, was more interested in a Japanese fighting dress. "Ooh, this is pretty," she commented. She changed into it. It was purple, blue and red, with little purple ribbons on the sides of the belt. She attached her swords to her belt, and did the same thing with her bow and arrows as I had mine.
Mandy went for the total brown look, with brown shirt, pants, jacket, belt and cloak. "OK, my knives can go in back of my jacket with my quiver, and my bow goes in my belt." She put her weapons away accordingly.
"Yay, OK we're ready," I said.
*Leaving Rivendell*
"You should fear the many eyes of the servants of Sauron," said Elrond as we stood outside Rivendell. "I do not doubt that the news of the discomfiture of the Riders has already reached him, and he will be filled with wrath. Soon now his spies on foot and wing will be abroad in the northern lands. Even of the sky above you must beware as you go on your way."
Borimir held up his war-horn. "Loud and clear it sounds in the valleys of the hills. Then let all the -"
"Yeah whatever," said Mandy. "Just don't blow the bloody horn, OK?"
Borimir put the horn away. ". . .OK."
There was a silence. Then, "That animal can nearly talk," Sam said, referring to Bill the Pony, "and would talk, if he stayed here much longer. He gave me a look as plain as Mr. Pippin could speak it: 'if you don't let me go with you, Sam, I'll follow on my own.'"
"Ummm. . .riiiiiight. . ." I said slowly. "OK let's go!"
"Wait," said Frodo. "Gandalf is not here yet!"
"Oh yeah," I said.
Sam spoke to Bill. "Bill, my lad, you oughtn't to have took up with us. You could have stayed here and et the best hay till the new grass comes."
"Don't you think that's kinda your fault?" Andy asked. "I mean, you could have left him here to eat hay and whatnot. But you didn't, and we're going to end up leaving him behind anyway."
"That will NEVER happen!" Sam practically yelled.
"Aaaaaw, OK, shhhhh. . ." soothed Maddy, running over to pat Sam on the head. The hobbits are some of her favourite characters.
Sam stood there, looking stunned and confused.
"Stop confusing him," Strider said irritably.
"I'm CALMING him DOWN, you moronic idiot mierda faced pig!" Maddy yelled loudly. (A/N: Mierda {spanish} = shit)
Everyone stared at her for a moment. Then Legolas, Andy and I fell on the ground laughing.
"Gandalf - hehehe - is - cough - here!" Legolas managed to choke out.
And indeed, Gandalf the wizard strode toward us.
"We all ready?" I asked impatiently. "Right then - let's go!"
^*^*^*^
Um. . .yeah. R&R. . .
OK! It seems that I forgot to put the Spanish to English translation in for chapter 3, and so hardly anyone knows what he said. Well, here is the translation!!:
"I said 'and you have my bow.' But I suppose that you could not understand me beacause you do not speak Spanish. The three Elven ladies taught to me to speak Spanish, and I am glad of it. It is a beautiful language. Can you understand me? I suppose not. Only the ladies can, only we four know it. Oh well, I assume that I will continue talking until you lose your minds, or kill me. Together, we will drive you all to the brink of insanity!!!!"
Okies, so, sorry about that, but now you know what he said! :D
Elf Faith: Thankyou, I'm glad that you find my story funny. I will update as soon as I can.
A'mael: I will take this fic through to the end, although it may take a while... keep reading!
Nitnat3: Ooh yay! Another person who read my sister's story too! Yes, it was a little short but I had run out of ideas. Well, this is a long(ish) chapter to make up for it. Hope you enjoyed it!!
Buh bye now!!!..........