AN: Well no one has reviewed so far, which is extremely sad, but I figure the only way to get people to read is to update more often so people see it. I went to bed thinking of what to do with this chapter, as I wasn't really sure how I wanted it to work. This is going to be their first fight/argument and it has got to be moving to each of them in some way, shape or form. I decided how it should work and almost got up and wrote it then, but I needed the sleep... on with the story
Chapter 26 First Fight
...I guess I didn't realize how much I really care about him. I put so much trust in his words. He told me that he wouldn't hurt me, but he has gone around and done just that. And not only hurt me, but done it buy just not talking. There is so much of me that is in pain, and I don't know what to do to make it go away. I've almost written Jack a few times now, but I know that he can do nothing for me, and I know that it would only make me feel worse. I can't let myself slip into that pattern of needing Jack whenever something goes wrong, He is not here, he is so many miles away from here. Here there is no one. When I first came here there was no one, and I really did feel like I needed Jack every day. Right now I do need someone. It's this feeling I have that I can't explain to anyone, not even to myself, that just sits in my chest telling me that if Sirius were here he would make it all so much better. But I know that can't be. He doesn't care anymore, or at least he doesn't seem to care. And to think that al of this is because of one of my closest friends who would never do anything to hurt me, but here I am, hurting because of something I said about him. I know its not Jacks fault in any way shape or form, and I know he did not cause the hurt. Sirius did. And it aches more than I can describe.
Cayte looked up from her writing as she saw the small hole growing in the portrait. Someone was coming, and whereas she knew Sirius did not know about this place, she secretly wished it were him. Right after she thought that to herself, Sirius' head stuck through the portrait hole, and upon seeing her, smiled. Once through, he walked briskly over to her, before remembering that he was mad. Checking himself, he sat down opposite of her and just stared.
"So you decided to talk?" Cayte asked, bitterness tracing her voice. She didn't realize it would be there and it startled her, as it did Sirius. Taking a big sigh, Sirius nodded. Seeing her there, tears still resting on her cheeks, it almost made all of the anger disappear. "Cayte, listen, I know you have no idea why I'm mad at you. So I decided to have a level playing ground in this thing, you should know. I got your letter, the one with the picture of you and.. what's his name? Jack? Well, you were just so happy. And he was hugging you, and you were smiling and enjoying being in his arms. It just seems obvious to me that something was going on. It came as a shock that you would do something like that to me..."
Cayte listened to what he had to say, but it didn't really connect that he was saying she had cheated on him. She never thought something like that would come up, so she wasn't prepared. "Wait a minute. You're telling me that you thought I was cheating on you with Jack?! Did you not read my letter stating that he was my closest friend?" Cayte wasn't sure what else to say. She was appalled that Sirius would not trust her to that extent after she had put so much trust in him.
"Cayte, you were happier than I have ever seen you, and I've seen you in a lot of different emotions. You cannot deny that fact."
"No Sirius, you're right, I can't. What if you had to go for six or so months with out seeing James, and rarely getting the chance to talk to him? Wouldn't you be happier than you could imagine to see him?" Cayte stood up, it was something about her, whenever she got overly upset, or happy, really whenever she was experiencing any intense emotion she just stood up and paced. Sirius just nodded slightly. "Got the amount of happiness you'd be feeling? Multiply it by ten. There, you have exactly what I was feeling, and still would feel, upon seeing Jack after a long time."
"Exactly. Why would you be that happy about this guy? Why did you never tell me about him? Why was he kept a secret for so long? I mean, it seems to me like all of those things point to something other than friendship, and I don't like it." Sirius was now standing as well, furious with the fact that she was proving him wrong.
"WHY didn't I tell you about Jack. Let's see here, 1- it hurt to think about the amount of time spent away from him, 2- I felt slightly guilty as you were coming to be my closest equivalent to Jack of here, 3- how could I describe the closeness we shared. Sirius, he just knew when something was wrong. I could have my back turned away from him and just the way I was breathing would let him know I was upset, or happy, or anything for that matter. He just knew me that well and still does. You know what one of the first things he said in private conversation was? 'Who is he?'. I had never mentioned you –or any boyfriend of sorts- before; never explained you in any letter I wrote, or tried to write, him and he knew there was a guy in my life. He knew I was happier than I was when I left because I had someone who cared about me. Or someone I thought cared about me anyway."
"Oh," was all Sirius could say before Cayte started up again. "And honestly, do you think that if I were cheating on you, I would send you a picture of the guy I was cheating on you with and myself? Do you think I would do something that stupid?"
"No, I guess not. Look, I'm sorry, I just assumed-"
"What was one of the first things I told you Sirius? 'Lesson number one, DON'T assume'."
"I was being stupid, and I saw the look on your face and just assumed, wrongly, that you were with him. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too, sorry that you can't trust me enough to be happy with another guy. Sorry that I believed you when you said you wouldn't hurt me. Sorry that I put my trust in you." With that Cayte walked out of the room and went outside to walk the grounds and think. She knew that last comment had to have hit home with Sirius, but that last comment hit home even worse with her. She turned around and walked up the owlery, a spare bit of parchment in her pocket, the quill and ink still sitting there as well.
Jack,
Sirius thinks I'm cheating on him with you. Does this whole 'you two are going out thing' extend across continents? Yes, I'm hurt. Yes, I will be okay eventually. I'll keep you posted.
Cayte
She sent her owl off on its long journey to America and walked to her dorm room.
Sirius sat down in the hidden room where he and Cayte had just fought. He was wrong and he knew it. He had jumped to a conclusion with out even giving it a thought. Had he examined the evidence more clearly, he would have seen the truth and this whole situation could have been avoided. He felt guiltier than he had ever felt before, and Sirius was one guilty feeling person. The only problem he had at the moment was what to do. Did he keep on fighting, even though he was wrong, or did he admit it and try and get Cayte to trust him again. He knew he had to come up with a damn good reason for her to trust him, but he had a small idea in mind. There was no way he would loose her, because as he had figured out just moments before, he needed here badly.
AN: MissUnderstood3, you are correct. Daae is in reference to Christine. I'm a big musical freak, and Phantom was my first one....
Hope you all enjoyed. This next chapter is going to be a very important one for me. It's partly the reason why I wrote this fic. Review and you will get it up quicker!
:)
Chapter 26 First Fight
...I guess I didn't realize how much I really care about him. I put so much trust in his words. He told me that he wouldn't hurt me, but he has gone around and done just that. And not only hurt me, but done it buy just not talking. There is so much of me that is in pain, and I don't know what to do to make it go away. I've almost written Jack a few times now, but I know that he can do nothing for me, and I know that it would only make me feel worse. I can't let myself slip into that pattern of needing Jack whenever something goes wrong, He is not here, he is so many miles away from here. Here there is no one. When I first came here there was no one, and I really did feel like I needed Jack every day. Right now I do need someone. It's this feeling I have that I can't explain to anyone, not even to myself, that just sits in my chest telling me that if Sirius were here he would make it all so much better. But I know that can't be. He doesn't care anymore, or at least he doesn't seem to care. And to think that al of this is because of one of my closest friends who would never do anything to hurt me, but here I am, hurting because of something I said about him. I know its not Jacks fault in any way shape or form, and I know he did not cause the hurt. Sirius did. And it aches more than I can describe.
Cayte looked up from her writing as she saw the small hole growing in the portrait. Someone was coming, and whereas she knew Sirius did not know about this place, she secretly wished it were him. Right after she thought that to herself, Sirius' head stuck through the portrait hole, and upon seeing her, smiled. Once through, he walked briskly over to her, before remembering that he was mad. Checking himself, he sat down opposite of her and just stared.
"So you decided to talk?" Cayte asked, bitterness tracing her voice. She didn't realize it would be there and it startled her, as it did Sirius. Taking a big sigh, Sirius nodded. Seeing her there, tears still resting on her cheeks, it almost made all of the anger disappear. "Cayte, listen, I know you have no idea why I'm mad at you. So I decided to have a level playing ground in this thing, you should know. I got your letter, the one with the picture of you and.. what's his name? Jack? Well, you were just so happy. And he was hugging you, and you were smiling and enjoying being in his arms. It just seems obvious to me that something was going on. It came as a shock that you would do something like that to me..."
Cayte listened to what he had to say, but it didn't really connect that he was saying she had cheated on him. She never thought something like that would come up, so she wasn't prepared. "Wait a minute. You're telling me that you thought I was cheating on you with Jack?! Did you not read my letter stating that he was my closest friend?" Cayte wasn't sure what else to say. She was appalled that Sirius would not trust her to that extent after she had put so much trust in him.
"Cayte, you were happier than I have ever seen you, and I've seen you in a lot of different emotions. You cannot deny that fact."
"No Sirius, you're right, I can't. What if you had to go for six or so months with out seeing James, and rarely getting the chance to talk to him? Wouldn't you be happier than you could imagine to see him?" Cayte stood up, it was something about her, whenever she got overly upset, or happy, really whenever she was experiencing any intense emotion she just stood up and paced. Sirius just nodded slightly. "Got the amount of happiness you'd be feeling? Multiply it by ten. There, you have exactly what I was feeling, and still would feel, upon seeing Jack after a long time."
"Exactly. Why would you be that happy about this guy? Why did you never tell me about him? Why was he kept a secret for so long? I mean, it seems to me like all of those things point to something other than friendship, and I don't like it." Sirius was now standing as well, furious with the fact that she was proving him wrong.
"WHY didn't I tell you about Jack. Let's see here, 1- it hurt to think about the amount of time spent away from him, 2- I felt slightly guilty as you were coming to be my closest equivalent to Jack of here, 3- how could I describe the closeness we shared. Sirius, he just knew when something was wrong. I could have my back turned away from him and just the way I was breathing would let him know I was upset, or happy, or anything for that matter. He just knew me that well and still does. You know what one of the first things he said in private conversation was? 'Who is he?'. I had never mentioned you –or any boyfriend of sorts- before; never explained you in any letter I wrote, or tried to write, him and he knew there was a guy in my life. He knew I was happier than I was when I left because I had someone who cared about me. Or someone I thought cared about me anyway."
"Oh," was all Sirius could say before Cayte started up again. "And honestly, do you think that if I were cheating on you, I would send you a picture of the guy I was cheating on you with and myself? Do you think I would do something that stupid?"
"No, I guess not. Look, I'm sorry, I just assumed-"
"What was one of the first things I told you Sirius? 'Lesson number one, DON'T assume'."
"I was being stupid, and I saw the look on your face and just assumed, wrongly, that you were with him. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too, sorry that you can't trust me enough to be happy with another guy. Sorry that I believed you when you said you wouldn't hurt me. Sorry that I put my trust in you." With that Cayte walked out of the room and went outside to walk the grounds and think. She knew that last comment had to have hit home with Sirius, but that last comment hit home even worse with her. She turned around and walked up the owlery, a spare bit of parchment in her pocket, the quill and ink still sitting there as well.
Jack,
Sirius thinks I'm cheating on him with you. Does this whole 'you two are going out thing' extend across continents? Yes, I'm hurt. Yes, I will be okay eventually. I'll keep you posted.
Cayte
She sent her owl off on its long journey to America and walked to her dorm room.
Sirius sat down in the hidden room where he and Cayte had just fought. He was wrong and he knew it. He had jumped to a conclusion with out even giving it a thought. Had he examined the evidence more clearly, he would have seen the truth and this whole situation could have been avoided. He felt guiltier than he had ever felt before, and Sirius was one guilty feeling person. The only problem he had at the moment was what to do. Did he keep on fighting, even though he was wrong, or did he admit it and try and get Cayte to trust him again. He knew he had to come up with a damn good reason for her to trust him, but he had a small idea in mind. There was no way he would loose her, because as he had figured out just moments before, he needed here badly.
AN: MissUnderstood3, you are correct. Daae is in reference to Christine. I'm a big musical freak, and Phantom was my first one....
Hope you all enjoyed. This next chapter is going to be a very important one for me. It's partly the reason why I wrote this fic. Review and you will get it up quicker!
:)