Disclaimer: I don't own Harvest Moon, Karen, or any related characters or
events; to the best of my knowledge, they're all owned by Natsume. Any
resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or events is purely
coincidental. This story is based primarily on the plot of Harvest Moon 64.
Wine Red no Kokoro
by flame mage
Part 7: Drowning Your Sorrows
**********
"Daddy! I'll never get in trouble again! Please open!" A girl crying. She was banging on the door now, sobbing, "please! Daddy, please let me out! Don't leave me in here anymore!" She knew he had to hear her. He wouldn't let her out. She had been a bad girl.
The door opened. "Sniff, sniff. Oh, who are you?" He smiled. "Where'd you come from?" The corner of the wall... "Wow, there is a hole here..." They were out into the night now, the darkness closing in all scary, the distance to home seeming like forever. "My daddy is angry, so I can't go home..." His hand in hers, warm. They went home together.
And then...then?
I woke up in a cold sweat, my pillow wet with tears. I felt like I'd been running for hours. I grasped the edges of the dream...feeling locked in again for an instant...but it was gone. And I couldn't remember why I had felt at peace at the very last moment.
I turned over and went back to sleep.
I was working in the wine cellar when Jack came in.
"Ummm...hi," he said. "Kai told me you were here. I just came to bring you something to eat. I know working makes me really hungry, so..." He trailed off and handed me the big orange fruit. I actually was pretty hungry, thinking about it, so I scarfed it down in one bite.
"Thanks," I said. "...umm...can I help you?"
He was looking around. "What is this place?"
"This is where we make wine. A lot of the machinery is up here." I gave him an outline of some of the machines and what they did. "Shall I show you the downstairs too?" I asked.
"Yeah. This is interesting." I led him down the stairs into the cellar.
"See, this is mostly storage down here. See all the wine barrels? We made this last year. And this rack is bottles of all the things we ship to the bar. Dad keeps all the really rare wines in the house," I explained.
"But you said he doesn't have any of the Door to Heaven left, right?" he asked.
"Door to Heaven?" I looked up sharply. "That was the real name of Grandma's wine. But we all just call it Heaven's Gate. How did you...?"
He smiled the smile of the truly enigmatic. "I just know."
I shrugged and gave up trying to figure it out. "Shall we go back?"
We went back upstairs and I started to open the door. It wouldn't budge. I tried again. Still nothing. Finally I backed up and did a running kick at the hinges. It still didn't move. And then I saw that it was locked.
"Huh? It won't open! How'd we get locked in?" I wondered.
"What's wrong?" Jack crossed the room fast and tried opening the door a few times. "Oh, shoot, it really is locked." He looked at me. "Do you have a key?"
"If I had a key, do you think we'd still be in here?" I snapped. I was starting to get nervous. I hated being locked in the wine cellar. I hated it hated it hated it. Just like when I was a little kid...
"Okay, calm down. Do you have a hairpin or something we could pick it with?" Jack asked.
"No. Anyway, it wouldn't work on a lock like that." I started to pace. I could feel my stomach rumbling. The fruit hadn't been enough. "I'm hungry..." I sank to the ground, moaning. I was going to starve to death and die in here, alone except for a city slicker farm boy, and they'd find my skeleton in the fall...
He sat down next to me. "Karen. Karen, stop it. You're shaking. It's all right."
"You're a cool cucumber." I glared at him. "How can you be so calm?"
He just shook his head. "Something like this happened to me a long time ago."
And suddenly something came back to me, as if in a dream. Locked in...someone, a boy, saved me...
"You got locked in a wine cellar?" I asked sarcastically.
"Actually..." He started to look around at the walls. "There was a hole somewhere...can you help me look?"
I got up. "What are you trying to find?"
"There should be a hole somewhere in the walls. We might be able to get through."
We searched for an hour. I was downstairs when I finally heard him yell "found it!" It was in a corner of the machine room. He helped me through, then got out himself.
It was dark when we finally stepped out. I turned to look at him. "How did you know about this place? Even I forgot about it..."
He smiled again. "I told you. Something like this happened to me a long time ago."
His eyes met mine and held them, willing me to ask. "Was that you...who let me out of here a long time ago?"
Slowly, he nodded. "Yes."
There was a flash. A pair of warm brown eyes, holding mine. A hand in mine, giving me strength. He took me home when I was scared. I remembered him.
"Oh, it was..." I breathed.
I'm not sure how long we stood like that, just looking at each other, before I finally said, "Well, thank you." Then, another thought. "Did you...remember me? From the beginning?"
He nodded again. "I knew from the first time I saw you."
I wanted to say something, but I didn't know how or even what I wanted to say. So I told him, "see you later!" and floated inside.
Working late at the bar. On a night when you're dead drunk, the shadows seem to close in around you, leaving you in a wine-drenched world of dark red. Everything moves slowly, as if in a dream. You can't think. You can't feel. You're detached from everything, floating above it all watching your body curl on the floor, hovering over a pathetic world.
Miss Karen, why are you doing this to yourself? someone asks.
From somewhere else, I hear myself slurring. Call...call me Kkkaren.
It's never been this bad before.
Shhtopp yelling! I'm shouting. Everyone yells! He yellszat me too!
You had a fight with your father?
Alllwhays fightin'. HATE IT! I wanna get outta here.
Out of here?
The chhity! Anywhere away from this godforshhaken DUMP.
Sigh. I know what you mean sometimes. I'm going to take you home, Karen.
I c'n walk.
No, you can't.
Okay.
A pair of strong brown arms. I go home.
I didn't wake up the next morning. I slept all day and woke up after sunset to find Kai and my mother hovering over my bed.
"What...what happened?" I put a hand to my forehead. The pain felt suspiciously like a hangover.
"You were drunk," Kai said quietly. "I took you home."
"Are you alright?" Mom asked. "Can I get you anything?"
"Dad's pissed off, isn't he?" I asked.
She looked away, tears in her eyes. Kai said, "The Master is at the bar."
"Yeah, yeah, I know, he said don't call him unless I die," I snapped and rolled over. "I'm going back to sleep."
"Mistress, you can go now," Kai told my mother. "It's all right. I'll stay with her."
"You don't have to stay with me!" I was almost yelling. "I'm fine, Kai. Fine!"
Mom smoothed my hair off my face and left the room wordlessly. I heard the door to her room close, and then the soft cries began.
"I hate them," I muttered.
"You don't hate them, Miss Karen," Kai said.
"No, sometimes I really do hate them. My father is always yelling. You know he used to lock me in the wine cellar when he said I was being bad? Sometimes he would leave me there in the dark all day. All alone."
"No, I didn't know that."
I rolled over onto my back to face him. "It's true. And Mom's always sobbing. Dad yells at me for something and she runs off and cries and then he yells at me some more for making her cry."
He reached over and lifted my head, carefully, then held a glass of water to my lips. I drank it, all of it. The cool water felt good running down my throat. When I'd finished, he fluffed the pillow and ran a cool cloth across my forehead. I realized my face was burning. "Why do you drink, Miss Karen?"
I smiled weakly. "We've known each other for five years. You've seen me pass out drunk. You might as well call me Karen."
He looked a little flustered, but said, "Well...Karen, then. Why do you drink?"
"I dunno..." I leaned back against the pillows. "I just...I just get so angry at them. And I want to run away and I want to kill them and I want to forget...so I just drink. When I drink, everything goes away and I don't have to worry about it anymore." I looked at him. "But it doesn't ever go away..."
"It always comes back the next morning," he said.
"It shouldn't." My fists were clenching involuntarily. "Do you ever want to go to the city too, Kai? Just get out of here?"
His eyes were distant. "I did."
I looked at him. "I've been running all my life," he said. "Running away from the orange grove. I wanted to go to the city. But I couldn't make it." He reached down to smooth the locks of blonde hair back behind my ears, looking straight into my eyes. "You run long enough, and your past catches up with you."
"Just running away from responsibility..." I murmured, then asked, "Do you still think about it? Making it to the city?"
He looked away again, staring out the open window into the night. "Yes," he said finally.
"You have some money saved, right?" I asked. "We could leave tonight. Never have to see this place again!" I was being reckless, and I knew it, but I didn't care.
"I wish..." he started, but then stopped himself. "No. It doesn't matter what I wish. I have to stay here for now. I owe a debt to your family. One more harvest, and then I'll be free to leave."
He stood up. "You should sleep now. Try to feel better."
Impulsively, I reached out and took his hand. "Kai...thank you. Sometimes you're the only thing that keeps me from going insane here."
Kai smiled, his black eyes shining. "No...Karen. I should thank you." And then he turned the light out and was gone. I watched him go, my head still churning with everything we'd said, then rolled over, pulled the covers up to my chin, and went back to sleep.
Wine Red no Kokoro
by flame mage
Part 7: Drowning Your Sorrows
**********
"Daddy! I'll never get in trouble again! Please open!" A girl crying. She was banging on the door now, sobbing, "please! Daddy, please let me out! Don't leave me in here anymore!" She knew he had to hear her. He wouldn't let her out. She had been a bad girl.
The door opened. "Sniff, sniff. Oh, who are you?" He smiled. "Where'd you come from?" The corner of the wall... "Wow, there is a hole here..." They were out into the night now, the darkness closing in all scary, the distance to home seeming like forever. "My daddy is angry, so I can't go home..." His hand in hers, warm. They went home together.
And then...then?
I woke up in a cold sweat, my pillow wet with tears. I felt like I'd been running for hours. I grasped the edges of the dream...feeling locked in again for an instant...but it was gone. And I couldn't remember why I had felt at peace at the very last moment.
I turned over and went back to sleep.
I was working in the wine cellar when Jack came in.
"Ummm...hi," he said. "Kai told me you were here. I just came to bring you something to eat. I know working makes me really hungry, so..." He trailed off and handed me the big orange fruit. I actually was pretty hungry, thinking about it, so I scarfed it down in one bite.
"Thanks," I said. "...umm...can I help you?"
He was looking around. "What is this place?"
"This is where we make wine. A lot of the machinery is up here." I gave him an outline of some of the machines and what they did. "Shall I show you the downstairs too?" I asked.
"Yeah. This is interesting." I led him down the stairs into the cellar.
"See, this is mostly storage down here. See all the wine barrels? We made this last year. And this rack is bottles of all the things we ship to the bar. Dad keeps all the really rare wines in the house," I explained.
"But you said he doesn't have any of the Door to Heaven left, right?" he asked.
"Door to Heaven?" I looked up sharply. "That was the real name of Grandma's wine. But we all just call it Heaven's Gate. How did you...?"
He smiled the smile of the truly enigmatic. "I just know."
I shrugged and gave up trying to figure it out. "Shall we go back?"
We went back upstairs and I started to open the door. It wouldn't budge. I tried again. Still nothing. Finally I backed up and did a running kick at the hinges. It still didn't move. And then I saw that it was locked.
"Huh? It won't open! How'd we get locked in?" I wondered.
"What's wrong?" Jack crossed the room fast and tried opening the door a few times. "Oh, shoot, it really is locked." He looked at me. "Do you have a key?"
"If I had a key, do you think we'd still be in here?" I snapped. I was starting to get nervous. I hated being locked in the wine cellar. I hated it hated it hated it. Just like when I was a little kid...
"Okay, calm down. Do you have a hairpin or something we could pick it with?" Jack asked.
"No. Anyway, it wouldn't work on a lock like that." I started to pace. I could feel my stomach rumbling. The fruit hadn't been enough. "I'm hungry..." I sank to the ground, moaning. I was going to starve to death and die in here, alone except for a city slicker farm boy, and they'd find my skeleton in the fall...
He sat down next to me. "Karen. Karen, stop it. You're shaking. It's all right."
"You're a cool cucumber." I glared at him. "How can you be so calm?"
He just shook his head. "Something like this happened to me a long time ago."
And suddenly something came back to me, as if in a dream. Locked in...someone, a boy, saved me...
"You got locked in a wine cellar?" I asked sarcastically.
"Actually..." He started to look around at the walls. "There was a hole somewhere...can you help me look?"
I got up. "What are you trying to find?"
"There should be a hole somewhere in the walls. We might be able to get through."
We searched for an hour. I was downstairs when I finally heard him yell "found it!" It was in a corner of the machine room. He helped me through, then got out himself.
It was dark when we finally stepped out. I turned to look at him. "How did you know about this place? Even I forgot about it..."
He smiled again. "I told you. Something like this happened to me a long time ago."
His eyes met mine and held them, willing me to ask. "Was that you...who let me out of here a long time ago?"
Slowly, he nodded. "Yes."
There was a flash. A pair of warm brown eyes, holding mine. A hand in mine, giving me strength. He took me home when I was scared. I remembered him.
"Oh, it was..." I breathed.
I'm not sure how long we stood like that, just looking at each other, before I finally said, "Well, thank you." Then, another thought. "Did you...remember me? From the beginning?"
He nodded again. "I knew from the first time I saw you."
I wanted to say something, but I didn't know how or even what I wanted to say. So I told him, "see you later!" and floated inside.
Working late at the bar. On a night when you're dead drunk, the shadows seem to close in around you, leaving you in a wine-drenched world of dark red. Everything moves slowly, as if in a dream. You can't think. You can't feel. You're detached from everything, floating above it all watching your body curl on the floor, hovering over a pathetic world.
Miss Karen, why are you doing this to yourself? someone asks.
From somewhere else, I hear myself slurring. Call...call me Kkkaren.
It's never been this bad before.
Shhtopp yelling! I'm shouting. Everyone yells! He yellszat me too!
You had a fight with your father?
Alllwhays fightin'. HATE IT! I wanna get outta here.
Out of here?
The chhity! Anywhere away from this godforshhaken DUMP.
Sigh. I know what you mean sometimes. I'm going to take you home, Karen.
I c'n walk.
No, you can't.
Okay.
A pair of strong brown arms. I go home.
I didn't wake up the next morning. I slept all day and woke up after sunset to find Kai and my mother hovering over my bed.
"What...what happened?" I put a hand to my forehead. The pain felt suspiciously like a hangover.
"You were drunk," Kai said quietly. "I took you home."
"Are you alright?" Mom asked. "Can I get you anything?"
"Dad's pissed off, isn't he?" I asked.
She looked away, tears in her eyes. Kai said, "The Master is at the bar."
"Yeah, yeah, I know, he said don't call him unless I die," I snapped and rolled over. "I'm going back to sleep."
"Mistress, you can go now," Kai told my mother. "It's all right. I'll stay with her."
"You don't have to stay with me!" I was almost yelling. "I'm fine, Kai. Fine!"
Mom smoothed my hair off my face and left the room wordlessly. I heard the door to her room close, and then the soft cries began.
"I hate them," I muttered.
"You don't hate them, Miss Karen," Kai said.
"No, sometimes I really do hate them. My father is always yelling. You know he used to lock me in the wine cellar when he said I was being bad? Sometimes he would leave me there in the dark all day. All alone."
"No, I didn't know that."
I rolled over onto my back to face him. "It's true. And Mom's always sobbing. Dad yells at me for something and she runs off and cries and then he yells at me some more for making her cry."
He reached over and lifted my head, carefully, then held a glass of water to my lips. I drank it, all of it. The cool water felt good running down my throat. When I'd finished, he fluffed the pillow and ran a cool cloth across my forehead. I realized my face was burning. "Why do you drink, Miss Karen?"
I smiled weakly. "We've known each other for five years. You've seen me pass out drunk. You might as well call me Karen."
He looked a little flustered, but said, "Well...Karen, then. Why do you drink?"
"I dunno..." I leaned back against the pillows. "I just...I just get so angry at them. And I want to run away and I want to kill them and I want to forget...so I just drink. When I drink, everything goes away and I don't have to worry about it anymore." I looked at him. "But it doesn't ever go away..."
"It always comes back the next morning," he said.
"It shouldn't." My fists were clenching involuntarily. "Do you ever want to go to the city too, Kai? Just get out of here?"
His eyes were distant. "I did."
I looked at him. "I've been running all my life," he said. "Running away from the orange grove. I wanted to go to the city. But I couldn't make it." He reached down to smooth the locks of blonde hair back behind my ears, looking straight into my eyes. "You run long enough, and your past catches up with you."
"Just running away from responsibility..." I murmured, then asked, "Do you still think about it? Making it to the city?"
He looked away again, staring out the open window into the night. "Yes," he said finally.
"You have some money saved, right?" I asked. "We could leave tonight. Never have to see this place again!" I was being reckless, and I knew it, but I didn't care.
"I wish..." he started, but then stopped himself. "No. It doesn't matter what I wish. I have to stay here for now. I owe a debt to your family. One more harvest, and then I'll be free to leave."
He stood up. "You should sleep now. Try to feel better."
Impulsively, I reached out and took his hand. "Kai...thank you. Sometimes you're the only thing that keeps me from going insane here."
Kai smiled, his black eyes shining. "No...Karen. I should thank you." And then he turned the light out and was gone. I watched him go, my head still churning with everything we'd said, then rolled over, pulled the covers up to my chin, and went back to sleep.