Disclaimer: I don't own Harvest Moon, Karen, or any related characters or
events; to the best of my knowledge, they're all owned by Natsume. Any
resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or events is purely
coincidental. This story is based primarily on the plot of Harvest Moon 64.
Wine Red no Kokoro
by flame mage
Part 9: Analyze This
**********
When I went outside the next morning, Jack was leaning against my door with flowers. "For the swimming champion," he said, handing them to me. They were yellow. Wildflowers. Obviously picked fresh that morning. He'd gone out before dawn to get flowers for me?
"Thanks," I said.
"Kai told me you were in kind of a slump lately," he said.
I avoided his eyes. "I've got a lot of work to do, so..."
"Nope. Come on, you're taking the day off and going to the beach again. Kai said he'd handle your chores."
Kai waved to me from the grapevines. "Go ahead. Have a good time today. It's the perfect day for swimming."
I grumbled, "All right. If you guys are so determined to get me out of here...I'll be right back." I walked inside and then went whirlwind. I ran upstairs, threw my swimsuit and a clean pair of shorts on and grabbed a towel. Went back downstairs, yelled "I'm gonna be out for a while, I'll see you later!" and was back out the door in less than a minute.
"Okay," I said to Jack. "Let's go."
I spread out the blanket while he opened the basket and started getting things out. It wasn't a bad day to be at the beach, actually. Stu, Kent, and May were playing by the cliff face, but it seemed like everyone else was busy. More people would come when it got hotter.
I glanced over at the food he was unpacking and gaped. He had a whole meal. Sandwiches, a container of soup, watermelon, tomatoes, potato chips, and cookies. "You made all this?" I blurted out.
He nodded. "Yep. I just started cooking when I got here and I figured out that I was okay at it. Besides, most of this stuff is pretty easy to make. All I had to do was slice the potatoes and fry them." He handed me a slice of watermelon. "Eat all you want. I've got a ton here."
The watermelon was cold and sweet. "Here," he said. "You need sunblock?"
I shook my head. "No one uses it here."
He sighed. "That's what I said, too, but one of my friends made me bring it. He spends summers on his uncle's farm and he told me you burn fast when you're out in the sun all day."
"Fine," I said, holding out my hand. He squeezed the bottle out into it, and I rubbed the white cream onto my skin.
"Want me to get your back?" he asked.
Oh, if you insist. "Fine," I repeated in the tone of a martyr, turning my back to him. His hands on my back were warm and gentle. I was getting close to purring. When he finished, he turned around so I could help him, and then we started eating. The food was absolutely delicious.
We ate for a while, and then he said, "If you don't mind my asking...you doing okay?"
"Why do you ask?" I said suspiciously.
"Kai came to talk to me last night. He was pretty worried. He said that you'd been feeling a little down lately and wanted to know if I could help give you a day off." He rolled onto his side and took another sandwich from the basket, munching it thoughtfully. "So, you want to tell me what's been going on?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't know what to do about the vineyard. It's dying, Jack. It's dying and there's nothing I can do."
He looked at me unhappily. "I wish there was something I could say. I just don't know what to do."
"And I've been so frustrated with my parents. Sometimes I can't stand them. No matter what I do, it's never good enough for my father."
"You know what?" he said. "My father's like that too."
"So what'd you do about it?" I asked.
"I took off." He stopped and shook his head. "No, that wasn't really it. I found something I wanted to do and threw myself into it. You just have to find something you really care about and then do it, I think. People like our fathers--you have to earn their respect."
"I know."
"Is there anything else that's bugging you?"
"I want to get out of here!" I cried suddenly, startling us both. "I want to get away from my parents, away from this vineyard. There's someone I'm looking for."
"Who?" he asked.
I blushed. "It's stupid. Just this guy I fell in love with when I was a little kid. I know he lives in the city. I want to go there and try to find him again." I ran a hand through my hair. "You probably think I'm a stupid little girl now..."
"That's not stupid." I gave him the Look. "I'm serious!" he insisted. "Part of the reason I agreed to take over the farm was to find someone, too." He was looking at me intensely, and for an instant I felt as if his eyes were penetrating into my skull, seeing into me and through me and beyond me.
"Who are you looking for?" I asked.
"A girl I met here, when I was a little kid. I made her a promise that I want to keep." He was trying to tell me something, I thought suddenly, without knowing why. We sat there like that for a while, looking at each other, as I struggled to figure out what it was he wanted me to do. Finally he pulled away. "It's not important," he mumbled.
We were silent for a while, and then I remembered what Kai had said the night before. 'I really think you're a nice person.' I wasn't sure whether I wanted to hear the answer or not, but I asked, "Jack? Do you think I'm a bitch?"
It was the most inane question ever, but he took it seriously. "When I first met you, I did," he said. "Neither of us were really at our best that night."
"You still think that?"
"I started talking to people. Cliff's probably the best friend I have here, and he told me a lot about you. And Ann started telling me about how good you are at making her feel better when she's down, and going on that you're the best friend ever. I talked to Kai some too, and he--jeez, Karen, that guy thinks the world of you. He said you can be really sharp with him, but he doesn't think you mean to hurt people. And he said that there are times when you're really kind." We were both full; he put the rest of the food in the basket and kept talking. "So I started getting to know you a little better. And..." Here he trailed off. "Do you mind if I psychoanalyze you a little bit here?"
"Go ahead," I told him. "We've gotta have something to do while we wait for our food to digest."
"Okay. You seem like someone who's been hurt badly, and you're afraid of getting close to other people because you don't want to get hurt again."
I really hate it when people tell me how my mind works. I hate it even more when they're actually right.
I guess he realized he was getting too serious, because he laughed and stood up. "Race you to the water!" he yelled, and took off running.
"Hey! You creep, wait for me!" I raced down the beach after him and into the water.
We swam for hours. It was getting dark by the time we finally got out.
"I don't want to leave, but we've both gotta get back to work tomorrow," Jack said.
I agreed. I was feeling like there was some reason I didn't want to leave that didn't have anything to do with the beach, and a nagging little voice in the back of my mine was saying, 'It's not because of Jack, is it?' I tried to tell myself that there was no way, but as we started folding up the blanket, I gave up. All right. So I was attracted to Jack. No big deal, right? I'd get over it.
He walked me back to the vineyard, and as we got to the door, he began, "Karen?"
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Don't drink so much. You got a lot of people worried the other day. Just...take care of yourself, okay?"
His face was red, and it wasn't from the sunburn. I realized mine was too. "I promise," I said.
Our faces were inches apart. We were just looking at each other. The night was warm and muggy and, except for the crickets, totally silent. Nothing moved.
"All right," he said after a while, turning to go. "I'll see you later, then."
"See you!" I called.
Wine Red no Kokoro
by flame mage
Part 9: Analyze This
**********
When I went outside the next morning, Jack was leaning against my door with flowers. "For the swimming champion," he said, handing them to me. They were yellow. Wildflowers. Obviously picked fresh that morning. He'd gone out before dawn to get flowers for me?
"Thanks," I said.
"Kai told me you were in kind of a slump lately," he said.
I avoided his eyes. "I've got a lot of work to do, so..."
"Nope. Come on, you're taking the day off and going to the beach again. Kai said he'd handle your chores."
Kai waved to me from the grapevines. "Go ahead. Have a good time today. It's the perfect day for swimming."
I grumbled, "All right. If you guys are so determined to get me out of here...I'll be right back." I walked inside and then went whirlwind. I ran upstairs, threw my swimsuit and a clean pair of shorts on and grabbed a towel. Went back downstairs, yelled "I'm gonna be out for a while, I'll see you later!" and was back out the door in less than a minute.
"Okay," I said to Jack. "Let's go."
I spread out the blanket while he opened the basket and started getting things out. It wasn't a bad day to be at the beach, actually. Stu, Kent, and May were playing by the cliff face, but it seemed like everyone else was busy. More people would come when it got hotter.
I glanced over at the food he was unpacking and gaped. He had a whole meal. Sandwiches, a container of soup, watermelon, tomatoes, potato chips, and cookies. "You made all this?" I blurted out.
He nodded. "Yep. I just started cooking when I got here and I figured out that I was okay at it. Besides, most of this stuff is pretty easy to make. All I had to do was slice the potatoes and fry them." He handed me a slice of watermelon. "Eat all you want. I've got a ton here."
The watermelon was cold and sweet. "Here," he said. "You need sunblock?"
I shook my head. "No one uses it here."
He sighed. "That's what I said, too, but one of my friends made me bring it. He spends summers on his uncle's farm and he told me you burn fast when you're out in the sun all day."
"Fine," I said, holding out my hand. He squeezed the bottle out into it, and I rubbed the white cream onto my skin.
"Want me to get your back?" he asked.
Oh, if you insist. "Fine," I repeated in the tone of a martyr, turning my back to him. His hands on my back were warm and gentle. I was getting close to purring. When he finished, he turned around so I could help him, and then we started eating. The food was absolutely delicious.
We ate for a while, and then he said, "If you don't mind my asking...you doing okay?"
"Why do you ask?" I said suspiciously.
"Kai came to talk to me last night. He was pretty worried. He said that you'd been feeling a little down lately and wanted to know if I could help give you a day off." He rolled onto his side and took another sandwich from the basket, munching it thoughtfully. "So, you want to tell me what's been going on?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't know what to do about the vineyard. It's dying, Jack. It's dying and there's nothing I can do."
He looked at me unhappily. "I wish there was something I could say. I just don't know what to do."
"And I've been so frustrated with my parents. Sometimes I can't stand them. No matter what I do, it's never good enough for my father."
"You know what?" he said. "My father's like that too."
"So what'd you do about it?" I asked.
"I took off." He stopped and shook his head. "No, that wasn't really it. I found something I wanted to do and threw myself into it. You just have to find something you really care about and then do it, I think. People like our fathers--you have to earn their respect."
"I know."
"Is there anything else that's bugging you?"
"I want to get out of here!" I cried suddenly, startling us both. "I want to get away from my parents, away from this vineyard. There's someone I'm looking for."
"Who?" he asked.
I blushed. "It's stupid. Just this guy I fell in love with when I was a little kid. I know he lives in the city. I want to go there and try to find him again." I ran a hand through my hair. "You probably think I'm a stupid little girl now..."
"That's not stupid." I gave him the Look. "I'm serious!" he insisted. "Part of the reason I agreed to take over the farm was to find someone, too." He was looking at me intensely, and for an instant I felt as if his eyes were penetrating into my skull, seeing into me and through me and beyond me.
"Who are you looking for?" I asked.
"A girl I met here, when I was a little kid. I made her a promise that I want to keep." He was trying to tell me something, I thought suddenly, without knowing why. We sat there like that for a while, looking at each other, as I struggled to figure out what it was he wanted me to do. Finally he pulled away. "It's not important," he mumbled.
We were silent for a while, and then I remembered what Kai had said the night before. 'I really think you're a nice person.' I wasn't sure whether I wanted to hear the answer or not, but I asked, "Jack? Do you think I'm a bitch?"
It was the most inane question ever, but he took it seriously. "When I first met you, I did," he said. "Neither of us were really at our best that night."
"You still think that?"
"I started talking to people. Cliff's probably the best friend I have here, and he told me a lot about you. And Ann started telling me about how good you are at making her feel better when she's down, and going on that you're the best friend ever. I talked to Kai some too, and he--jeez, Karen, that guy thinks the world of you. He said you can be really sharp with him, but he doesn't think you mean to hurt people. And he said that there are times when you're really kind." We were both full; he put the rest of the food in the basket and kept talking. "So I started getting to know you a little better. And..." Here he trailed off. "Do you mind if I psychoanalyze you a little bit here?"
"Go ahead," I told him. "We've gotta have something to do while we wait for our food to digest."
"Okay. You seem like someone who's been hurt badly, and you're afraid of getting close to other people because you don't want to get hurt again."
I really hate it when people tell me how my mind works. I hate it even more when they're actually right.
I guess he realized he was getting too serious, because he laughed and stood up. "Race you to the water!" he yelled, and took off running.
"Hey! You creep, wait for me!" I raced down the beach after him and into the water.
We swam for hours. It was getting dark by the time we finally got out.
"I don't want to leave, but we've both gotta get back to work tomorrow," Jack said.
I agreed. I was feeling like there was some reason I didn't want to leave that didn't have anything to do with the beach, and a nagging little voice in the back of my mine was saying, 'It's not because of Jack, is it?' I tried to tell myself that there was no way, but as we started folding up the blanket, I gave up. All right. So I was attracted to Jack. No big deal, right? I'd get over it.
He walked me back to the vineyard, and as we got to the door, he began, "Karen?"
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Don't drink so much. You got a lot of people worried the other day. Just...take care of yourself, okay?"
His face was red, and it wasn't from the sunburn. I realized mine was too. "I promise," I said.
Our faces were inches apart. We were just looking at each other. The night was warm and muggy and, except for the crickets, totally silent. Nothing moved.
"All right," he said after a while, turning to go. "I'll see you later, then."
"See you!" I called.