In Terms of a Shadow

Part IV

Author: profiler120

Email: profiler120@hotmail.com

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome

Summary: How dare he? He'd bought her, the jerk! Paid off her mother *knowing* she couldn't refuse the money and all he wanted in return was to marry her daughter. It sounded innocent - it wasn't. If that wasn't bad enough her betrothed was a beautiful, but heartless man who had no interest in her and regarded her, loosely, as his property.

Author's Note:

* * * *

Snobbish, arrogant man, I thought. I sat beside him in the carriage, but I did so huffily. How dare he turn from sweet, seductive lover back into that cold, prideful dolt I couldn't stand?

I turned my nose up and looked toward the window. He didn't even tell me where we were going. Jerk. Or better yet, ape. I liked the nickname for him. He didn't actually remind me of the wild, dark beast I'd heard about from a townsman by it's description, but I liked the word nonetheless. It made me happy, so it couldn't be bad.

The clattering, uneven journey ended surprisingly quickly. We had only gone a few miles. We pulled up to an elaborate house. I had never seen the place before, but not surprising.

I had been glowering for all I was worth on my first trip here some time ago, although it had been naught but a week or so. I stared at the place in silent wonder. What was it? Better yet, why had he brought me here?

I had little time to wonder as the house door was thrown open and a small child came running down the path. Sesshoumaru preceded me out of the carriage and waited there as the child threw herself around his leg affectionately. He ignored her momentarily, holding out a hand stiffly assisting me down from the carriage.

The child seemed then to notice and looked over at me curiously. We simply stared at one another waiting for someone to say something. That particular duty fell to Sesshoumaru who was being stubbornly silent.

Finally, irritated I turned to ask but he cut me off. "Kagome – this is my ward Rin. Rin, this is your new sister, Kagome."

Ward? Sister? Was she Sesshoumaru's younger sibling? I stared down at her in wonder. The girl could hardly be more than five years old. I blinked.

Rin gave an awkward introduction, apparently having been informally taught and then skipped ahead, her attention diverted by someone at the door.

Sesshoumaru, surprising me, walked at my side slowly toward the door. "She's very young. Is she your sister?"

"She is. My father's only bastard child – or the only one that survived childbirth it seems. His mistress was one of the servants, a slight girl not built for birthing children."

"Oh. Where is her mother now?"

"Dead. She didn't survive Rin's birthing, that's why she's here."

I looked up at the grand house. "What is this place?"

"An orphanage."

"Oh." I replied again, wondering if that's all I'd be saying for a while. What a shock this all was. "It probably sounds impertinent or so but why are we here?"

I paused on the stone walkway and he stopped with me, finally turning the gaze that had been stiffly straight ahead toward me. His eyes were alight with intensity.

"I want you to take care of Rin."

"Really?" I asked dumbly looking toward the house contemplatively. "I've I've never taken care of a child before." I looked back at him with a reassuring smile. "But I will do my best for her."

It seemed to be the response he wanted and we walked the rest of the way inside. In a matter of a half hour we were on our way back, Rin tagging along with us.

I watched her in silent wonder as she hung on Sesshoumaru's sleeve, hardly noticing he wasn't paying the slightest attention to her. The girl adored him, I thought. I wondered why she was so attached to him, but didn't dare ask in her presence.

"Kagome-chan!"

Her voice snapped me out of my reverie and I realized I'd been staring and that Sesshoumaru was looking at me curiously.

"Yes, Rin-chan?"

"Taro-chan, he's a boy at the house, he says that horses transform under the light of blue moons and sprouts wings and fangs and swoop down on people in rice fields in the night. It's not really true is it?"

I laughed, unable to contain my merriment at the thought. "Most certainly not," I assured her. "Do you like horses?"

"I've only seen them from far away." She admitted. "Are they nice?"

"I'm not much sure myself, but maybe if we have Sesshoumaru-sama's permission we might find out."

Her eyes seemed to glow with happiness; both at the prospect of visiting with horses, but also at the thought that she needed her Sesshoumaru-sama's permission. It seemed to please her all the more I seemed to want his approval as well. Whatever made her happy I supposed.

I was simply not about to go anywhere near a stable by myself or with the little girl without his permission, that was for certain. I hardly knew went on around a place like the palace. Sesshoumaru would know whether such was safe or not.

"Can we visit some horses Sesshoumaru-sama?"

He nodded silently. "I will arrange an escort for you."

I smiled at her, but she was lost in her own happy little world. I silently wondered if this would be difficult. Sure, I had managed my little brother Souta but that was different. He was my brother, this girl was not a blood relation to me, and there were far more years between us.

We arrived back in no time at all and someone I didn't know immediately led off Rin. I could only imagine where they were going. I stopped on the path, waiting for Sesshoumaru who had stopped to give orders to someone. He turned back and seemed not to have expected me to wait for him.

"Rin means a lot to you, doesn't she?"

He didn't reply, but seemed to be searching my expression for something. Perhaps, sincerity?

"It just seemed a bit odd that you should care so much about a child that is not well"

"Rin cannot be blamed for the faults of her parents."

I smiled. "Do you say that because you are fond of her or because she is female? I can hardly see you being so accommodating if your half-sibling was a male child."

"You now presume to tell me how I think?" He sounded more amused than annoyed at my assumption.

I shrugged. "It just seemed natural is all. Kikyo and I are half-siblings, but I don't loathe her because of her parentage. I detest her because she is miserable and arrogant."

He inclined his head a bit at the statement and we headed inside. He split off from me headed off to handle his business and I set about trying to track down Rin. I could hardly imagine I would soon be lost in a goggle of servants all calling out, "Kagome-sama!"

* * * *

Perhaps my father was a much more clever man than I ever surmised, I thought heading down to my chambers. I found, unpleasantly, my brother sitting awaiting me. I could only imagine what he wanted.

I sat, turning my gaze to Inuyasha as my mind drifted to Kagome. I remembered watching her, seeing her faraway look as she stared at Rin and myself. A small, purplish mark colored one cheek and I sorely wished it gone.

Rin had not commented on it, but it would not do for her to see such things. I would not strike Kagome again.

"What do you want?"

He hadn't even said anything and already I was annoyed with him sitting there. Annoyed and disturbed because Inuyasha was never quiet in my presence, he was always wailing about something.

Now that I looked at him, he seemed a bit pale. What had happened to unsettle Inuyasha? I suddenly had a very bad feeling I wasn't going to like it.

"Inuyasha?"

His head snapped up. "I Kikyo's pregnant," he blurted out, looking ragged.

Well that wasn't the major calamity I expected but it explained Inuyasha's distraught state. "So?"

"So? What do you mean so'? She's going to have a baby!" he declared.

"I realize that. Why did you not marry the girl before you bedded her?"

Inuyasha shrugged impatiently. "What difference does it make? I intend to marry her, I thought that was good enough."

I blinked. Inuyasha had always seemed inept and awkward around women, I had not imagined him impatient, but he was young.

"What do you want from me?"

"Help. We weren't planning on wedding before next spring, but Kikyo wants to wed long before that."

I glanced down at my papers, no longer interested in this conversation. "You want the marriage date moved?"

"Right." Inuyasha agreed.

"Very well. The beginning of next month is as quickly as it can be allotted. Wedding preparations are Kagome's responsibility, be sure to see her about that."

I knew this was going to be a disaster before the door shut. Kikyo and Kagome planning a wedding while she tried to manage Rin and the household. I suddenly had a very grim image of my future.

While I was certain she could handle Rin and the household I wasn't sure she could handle Rin, the household, wedding preparations and Kikyo all at the same time. I silently prayed she had the strength for it as to keep a fiasco from boiling over even though I suspected the effort was wasted.

I stood. Perhaps I could avert this disaster in the making. All I had to do was find Kagome before Inuyasha did.

I found her easily enough; their laughter had immediately given them away. They were sitting in a sewing room while Kagome and the girl played in the reams of silk that the seamstress used for clothes making.

"Kagome."

The sharp tone of my voice caused her frame to stiffen and her smile to fade.

"Yes?"

There seemed hardly any reason for not speaking in front of the child so I pushed onward. "Inuyasha's wedding is being advanced to the beginning of the following month. You will need to prepare everything."

"M-me? I've never planned a wedding before."

"There's a lot of things you haven't done before," I replied dismissively. "You'll learn. What I came here about was your sister."

"Half sister," she corrected primly.

Again I ignored the technicality. "You and she will be preparing everything. It is her wedding but you are in charge of the project. Keep her and your irritable temper in check. Got it?"

"You mean if we disagree she has to go with what I want?"

"If you so choose." It was not my business if she wanted to make her sister miserable by plaintively overlooking her, but I did not care. I was paying for this event; Kagome was going to be in control of it.

She nodded. "I wouldn't do that, I just wanted to know. It is Kikyo's wedding after all. She can be as unpleasant and snooty as she wants to but I won't be petty about it," she declared with a smile.

I was thankful for small miracles. I had no further business and went to leave only to end up having to pry myself away from an overly affectionate Rin as my unhelpful wife stared on in amusement.

* * * *

I sighed unhappy. I was two seconds from abandoning the entire project into Kikyo's grasp. Two seconds – I swore, but two things kept me from doing so. One, I suspected that Kikyo was trying to purposely get me to quit. Secondly, I all but promised Sesshoumaru I could handle this.

He had placed me in charge of the wedding and in charge I would be. Kikyo be damned I thought with a sudden well of pride. Of course, it wasn't that easy, but I liked to dream.

I couldn't imagine why Kikyo hated me; I only knew that she did. I, personally, had nothing against her but it was natural to react to someone with dislike when they acted that way around you. Even more so when they were adamant about it.

Presently I watched her. She was shuffling through items in a trunk. Frilly, fancy things she wasn't going to wear, but after a half hour of silence just watching she stood, closed the trunk and left. Without a word or glance as though I had never been there, but I refused to be angry. I told myself I wasn't. I wasn't going to let Kikyo's dismissive attitude get to me.

I stood too, unsure of whether I should try to find her or just go about my way. The decision wasn't to be made as Rin suddenly came running into the hall.

She stopped, frozen like a frightened fawn as she spotted me.

"Rin-chan?"

Hadn't I assigned Rin an instructor in my absence? Sure enough a few minutes later the young lady came charging around the corner. Presumably chasing after Rin, I thought with a wry smile. She too seemed startled at my appearance as though I were Sesshoumaru himself striking fear into the hearts of the servants.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Well - I was trying to get Rin changed but she suddenly declared she didn't want to and ran off on me." The servant explained, folding her hands and turning her gaze to the floor meekly. "I apologize my lady."

I wondered if Kikyo would make trouble if I decided to take Rin outside. Then I wondered where Sesshoumaru was. Handling Kikyo was both easy and difficult. When she wasn't outright ignoring me she was saying something obnoxious.

I sighed heavily, reached for Rin taking her hand in mine, and marched off. Absently I called back dismissing the servant girl for the day. Perhaps Rin could warm Kikyo's heart, but I seriously doubted it.

We found her, but I wasn't sure we were any better off for it. She was sitting at a table looking at a scroll. She turned her gaze up as we stepped inside and then resumed reading.

Spotting a servant arranging flowers I smiled affectionately at Rin and sent the small girl over to help. I could only hope it would keep her occupied.

"So here's where you disappeared to. What are you reading?" Trying to be friendly with Kikyo was like talking to a rock. A rock that wanted to smash you if it were an animate object.

"Wedding etiquette." I was half surprised she bothered to answer.

"Well, while you're currently speaking to me, why you seem to hate me so much? What have I ever done to you?"
The look on her face when she looked up at me was pure vehemence and all my hopes for reconciling with her were dashed. Whatever it was that Kikyo had in her mind about me wasn't going to change.

Rather than speak however she merely scoffed and stood up. "Stop following me around."

"I am in charge of your wedding, I'm supposed to monitor you."

"I will keep you informed." She replied primly before taking her scroll and marching off.

Wonderful. I sighed heavily not at all encouraged with the way things were going.

"Kagome-chan! Rin found this under the table."

It was a small, padded box. Rin, without qualm, pulled off the lid and begin examining the contents. I made to scold her when I noticed it was full of paper leaflets. Writings?

I absently glanced at one and then gasped. They were Kikyo's! Kikyo's private writings, no less.

I told myself to put them back and immediately set about removing Rin's hands from the pages without wrinkling or tearing any. She pouted but moved on, heading back to the flower arranging, but instead of helping she dived beneath the table once more.

Unable to contain my curiosity however I succumbed to the temptation and took a glance over the page on top. It was a diary. A collection of her thoughts she kept in this box. I shouldn't read them, but Kikyo wouldn't talk to me.

"Inuyasha has been a god-send. Never have I felt more secure and loved than when I am with him. He's not very eloquent and he's the most immature male I've ever met but he's sweet. He really does care about me and I've decided that that's all that really matters. I want to be cared about. I want to be wanted and loved and Inuyasha gives me that. When we are alone I feel like I'm the only woman who exists for him, and then nothing else matters.

"It makes me hopeful for my future. Something I never was until I met him. I long to have a family of my own. A complete, loving perfect set unlike the fragmented world I was forced to live in.

"Inuyasha will never abandon me. He will never leave me the way that worthless father of mine did."

The page drifted off, and I assumed it continued on another sheet. They were all out of order and Kikyo would know they had been discovered I could only hope she wouldn't connect me to it.

I put them away and called Rin to take the box back to where she'd found it and to never touch it again. I proceeded into a lecture about how it was not right to invade other people's privacy and she half-listened before complying with my orders.

Just as she was about to make more trouble for the servant girl still sorting flowers I called her back. Perhaps I could feed her and put her to sleep or something. I led her to the dining room thoughts a whirl.

* * * *

It was impossible not to be distracted by the picture they made. Just two or so days ago Kagome and Kouga had been making me edgy with their playful manner toward one another but now that had gone. Now it was Kouga, Kagome, and Rin that were presently annoying me.

I was giving serious thought to hacking off Kouga's head. He was entirely too cozy with my family. I stood irritably. She was mine. Kagome was mine, as was Rin. They were both mine. My females.

I towered over the small group and Rin, ever loyal that she is, immediately leapt upon me. She curled herself around my leg sweetly saying something I wasn't remotely interested in. Kagome looked up.

"Want to join us?" She smiled amiably, innocently I thought wanting to curl my lips into a snarl and order Kouga off. Instead I sat, Rin plopping down beside me ignorant of the fact she was breaking etiquette and not caring one bit.

Kagome stared at the girl between us for a moment as though she might correct her, but ultimately she let it go with a soft smile.

"We've been talking about the Shikon no tama." Kagome supplied, sipping her soup. "Do you know of it, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"It is a myth," I declared. "One that is dangerous to perpetuate. It fills young men's heads with dreams of finding it and ultimately leads to their death when they fall off that mountain trying to get to it."

Kagome's demeanor seemed to dim. "Must you be so negative?" She murmured.

"Must you be so idealistic? Keep your feet planted in reality, I have no use for a wife so daydreams the day away."

She did frown at that, turning her gaze away. I was saved having to hear or say anything as a noisy procession appeared at the entryway. My brother and his entourage, half of which were already drunk came swaying through the doorway.

Whispers stirred and the party seemed to lose their jovial spirit as they realized I was within the room with my new bride. Kagome watched them, clearly curious.

"Who *are* those people?" She asked. "Wasn't that the same group I encountered a few mornings ago? Do they always drink so early?"

"My brother is the type to enjoy all night parties with plenty of alcohol. Your sister seems content enough to follow him around."

"Why do you allow that?" She turned to me. "And she's my half-sister."

I grinned. She was really going to make a point of that 'half-sister' thing, wasn't she?

"Their drunkenness today is a special occasion. My brother is celebrating his impending fatherhood."

Kagome blinked. "Fatherhood?" She mused aloud. "He's... " She paled leaning toward him. "Is Kikyo pregnant?"

"Didn't she tell you?"

She glared. "Kikyo doesn't tell me anything."

Silence enveloped us for a few minutes. Kouga seemed to have shrunk away and after a few more minutes he asked to be excused and was given leave to do so. Kagome looked up once more.

"Do you drink also?"

Our eyes met in an intense stare. I suddenly felt as though I were being appraised. Did she want to know the kind of man she had for a husband? Was she wondering if I were a rowdy, abusive drunk? Did she fear for our future children?

"No, I do not."

The answer seemed to please her, or relieve her, I wasn't sure. "Do you?"

I doubted she did, as Kagome hardly seemed the type. "No. My father always said it was not for ladies to drink, only weak willed men lost themselves in the bottle."

I'd been right then. She *had* been appraising me. Rin had been unusually silent and I glanced to her to find her snoozing lightly, head swaying as she drifted between wakefulness and sleep.

"Maybe she needs a little nap then."

I thought she would rise and take Rin away but she lingered. Something had to be on her mind then, and if I were right she would be addressing it once she gathered her courage.

"Sesshoumaru... Who are those women? The ones at your table over there?"

Was she jealous?

"Servants. My father started the tradition of sharing his table with the kitchen servants. He was very picky about his food and they were there to serve him."

"So... am I... " She knotted her hands in the napkin in her lap. "Am I the only woman you..."

I raised a brow curiously.

"Am I the only woman you share a bed with then?"

What did that mean? Now? Previously? Later? What was I supposed to say?

"At present?"

She nodded.

I nodded once. One might have though I ignored the question had they not been paying careful enough attention the nod was so slight, but she seemed to understand.

"Do you want to be the only one?" I presumed she did, but one could never be certain what lurked in the female mind.

She nodded.

Words it seemed had escaped us both.

Massao28 - All right, glad to hear you're back! ^_^ College isn't killing me, I've gotten used to it now.

StoicStella - Ah, you are so observant, that's great! I made the revisions you pointed last chapter, thank you. ^_^

Tsuki no Tennyo - I hate writing about weddings, I always skip them. They're so... boring.

kokonutsu - Did I write she loved him anywhere in there? I don't remember, if I did, I didn't mean to. Kagome is trying to adjust - unless you mean the early cuddling scene. Wouldn't it be quite leisurely to wake up next to someone? *thinks* What exactly do you mean? I'm baffled.