Disclaimer: I still don't own Gilmore Girls. (The lyrics are from "Moving On" by Toya which I don't own.)
Chapter Three: The Voice On The Other End
God knows it's time for
me to move on
I want to feel alive again
I want to be in love again
And no matter how hard I try
I can't erase you from my mind
And I gotta find somebody new
"You know what would be really great right now?" Rory asked.
"The TV remote? Because I'd love to change the channel," Sam said without looking away from the screen.
"Why don't you get up and change it?"
"Because that would involve energy. Something I don't have."
"Poor you." She paused. "I wasn't talking about the remote though. I would absolutely love some coffee right now."
"How interesting."
Rory lifted her head off his lap and looked up at her boyfriend. "I would just looove some coffee."
"Again, very interesting."
"But we all know how horrible my coffee comes out whenever I try to make it."
"Well, practice makes perfect."
"Oh, please make me some. You make yours so very well." Rory sat up. "Don't make me beg."
"I always make it. You do it."
"I'm prepared to bring out the pouty face."
"And I'm prepared to close my eyes."
"You are so very mean." She stood up and began to walk into the kitchen. "You know, after I make it I am not getting you a cup. Nope none for you. If you want one, you'll have to get it yourself."
"Fine, fine," Sam said still staring at the screen.
Rory's stomach knotted up as she walked into the kitchen. She needed to not take this personally. He not making her coffee was not a symbol of a failing relationship. It was only that he was tired from work. But it was still strange because he had never refused to make it for her before, even when he had had a raging fever. His overall oddness tonight combined with his recent behavior was enough to leave a bad taste in her mouth.
For the past two weeks, Sam had been Mr. Jumpy who continuously made suspicious phone calls. Although, he had never given the "I'm working late" line, which was the number one sign a man had found a younger and skinnier playmate, the phone calls were sign number two. Recently, whenever she walked in on his conversation he would either hang up immediately, or if he was on the portable, he would scamper out of the room. He wasn't the most agile and the sight of him running away awkwardly would have been hilarious if it hadn't made Rory's stomach do flips.
She didn't think she could take losing him. It had taken her a year and a half to fall in love with him. They were friends first, study buddies in college, and after they had begun dating, it had taken him only two months to say those three little words. She had said it back immediately, the words had slipped out. And once they were out there she wasn't going to take them back. But she had finally fallen in love with him. Head over heels, whatever that meant, and she was happy.
And she thought about Jess less too. She had trained her mind to block him out. Although, sometimes a little thing would remind her of him but it wasn't so bad anymore. After five years, the pain that had once felt everlasting now was only background noise to her. Once in a while though, it would be really serious and she would cry to herself alone, regretting and wishing. But that was happening less and less.
She doubted she would ever love Sam as much as she did Jess. After all, in the word of Friends, Jess was her lobster. Her one and only, and it had taken a coma for her to see that.
Shaking her head as if they would rid her of her thoughts, she began the task of making coffee. She pulled the Bag O' Coffee, as she liked to call it, out of the cabinet. Opening it up, she discovered something sitting on top of the coffee ground. It didn't appear to be moving or to be something alive. Bravely, she reached her hand in and pulled the inanimate object out. It was a tiny velvet box. Was it just her or did that look like…
When she popped open the box, everything fell into place. The weird behavior and the secret phone calls, they all made sense. "Oh my god," Rory whispered. She pulled the ring out of the box and held it up to eye level. She turned around at the sound of his voice.
"I wouldn't let you make coffee unless I had a really good reason," He said.
"What is this?"
"It's a platinum hand engraved vintage antique ring." He paused. "Yeah, I think I got that right." He walked to her and bent down on one knee.
"Oh my god," Rory said again.
He took her hand in his. "Alright I want to do this right. I want this to be really special and very cheesy. Like a scene in a movie. But let's face it, I completely suck at romance."
"Yeah, you do," Rory said laughing.
"Thanks for agreeing."
"But it's so cute when you try."
"Rory, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love waking up every morning and seeing you next to me. And then having you push me out of bed demanding coffee. Ror, will you marry me?"
Marriage? Talk about the last thing she expected. For god sakes, she thought he had been cheating on her. And getting married would be so final. It would mean that she would have to forget about Jess. Stop thinking about him and hoping that maybe one day he would wake up. It would mean giving up on him.
But it was time. She needed to stop hoping and wishing for something that wasn't ever going to happen. It was time to officially move on. She would be happy with Sam; she already was.
"How long did you practice that in the mirror?" She asked.
"Right, make fun of the guy who's proposing." He paused. "Ten times."
She smiled at him. "Well, since you put so much effort into it. Yes."
"Did you just say yes?"
"I believe I did."
Sam jumped up and kissed her. He then picked her up.
"Whoa, crazy person. I'm no longer touching the floor," Rory said.
"Good observation. You know, you're very light."
"Why thank you. You know exactly what to say to a girl."
"And you're very beautiful." He began to walk to the bedroom.
"Oh, is it compliment Rory time? Because I love that."
"Yes it is. Let's see. You're a great writer."
"Thank you."
Sam entered their bedroom and dropped her on the bed. "And you don't ramble as much as you used to."
"Oh, thanks so much," she said sarcastically. She pulled him down on top of her and kissed him. "You know, I only said yes because of the ring. It's beautiful."
"Well, that hurts." He paused. "That was a joke, right?"
She kissed him again. "Of course. The ring is just a nice bonus." She lifted her arm in the air and put her ring on behind Sam's head. "It fits perfectly." That was good sign.
"I measured your finger while you were sleeping. But the jeweler ordered it in the wrong size…three times. And then he ordered it in the right size but it was the wrong ring. I spent hours on the phone with that guy."
"Well, at least those odd phone calls are explained." She put her hand on his cheek. "I love you." As she stared into his brown eyes, she found herself once again wishing they were a different color. They were a lighter shade than Jess's but unfortunately it was one of the little things that reminded her of him.
But she wasn't going to think like that anymore. She was engaged. A bride to be who was currently feeling guilty because of her unresolved feelings towards Jess and her sudden determination to forget about him. As she kissed Sam again, she tried her best to block the guilt and the image of eyes darker than his.
-*-
The next morning, Rory was lying awake in bed. It was six-thirty and usually a gallon of coffee was needed to wake her up. Then a crowbar had to be used to wedge her out of bed. But this morning was different. She had been awake since four AM and at this point had memorized the look of her ceiling. She almost never had a good night's sleep but usually it took her forever to drift off to dreamland and then she would never be able to get up. But last night had been the opposite. Damn the Sandman. Wait, did the Sandman make you fall asleep or did he give you dreams once you were asleep? Great, she had now confused herself.
Very quietly as to not wake Sam up, although he would probably sleep through an atomic bomb, Rory slipped out of bed. She grabbed a bathrobe on her way out the room. It was weird to feel so wide awake, yet have no coffee in her system. Last night, she had never gotten that coveted cup. This was because after her acceptance to his proposal they had spent the rest of the night in the bedroom.
Sitting down on the couch, she looked down at her engagement ring. Her feeling of guilt had lessened and she felt happier and even excited at the thought of getting married. She was going to be a bride. Wait until she told her mother. Her mother! She had to call her and tell her the wonderful news.
Technically, she was breaking a Gilmore rule by calling this early but she had to get in the shower soon and wouldn't have time after that. And of course, she didn't want to wait.
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Rory sighed impatiently. If she didn't answer soon the machine was going to pick up.
"Hello?"
Rory froze at the sound of the voice. It wasn't her mother. She pulled the phone from her ear and stared at it dumbly. The voice once again said hello but she could barely hear it. She turned off the phone and placed it on the couch next to her before putting her face in her hands. That voice. It was only one word but it had only taken that much for her to recognize his voice. Except for in her head, she hadn't heard it in five years.
Right after his accident, she had seen him all around town and constantly thought she heard his voice. It was one of the reasons she was so desperate to leave Stars Hollow. Once she had gotten to college, the sightings had lessened and after a couple of months had completely stopped. She didn't understand why it would suddenly start up again. Jess was in Hartford lying in a hospital bed, not at her house answering the phone.
For a few minutes, Rory stared straight ahead not thinking at all. Then she stood up and took a few deep breaths as she stared at the phone. She then picked it up and began to walk around the room. Once again, she dialed the number.
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. She would not hear his voice. She would not.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Mom?" She felt a wave of relief wash over her.
"Rory! Hey, it's early. How are you? How's work? How's Sam?" Lorelai asked at warp speed.
"Well, I'm fine. Work is great. And Sam is even better."
"Even better, huh? And what does that mean?"
Rory was ready to burst out with the news but first she needed to find out if she was hallucinating or if there really was a guy there. "Is Luke there?"
"Luke? Why, did you want to speak to the coffee man?"
"No. Just wondering if you two were having one your 'sleepovers'."
"I don't like how you said the word sleepover. What are you getting at?"
"I'm not getting at anything," Rory said slyly. "So is he there?"
"Nope, he isn't."
"Is there…a guy…there?"
"Are you implying that I am having a secret affair with another diner man? I'm offended. How could you think that?"
Rory laughed. "No, I'm not implying anything. It's just that I called a few minutes ago."
"That was you? I thought it was one of those annoying prank callers who want to ask what you're wearing but chickened out and hung up."
"It's not even seven yet. I doubt any teenage perverts are making pranks calls at this time. So that was me. And a guy picked up the phone. Not you, right? I'm not losing my mind?"
Lorelai was silent.
"Oh, so I am losing my mind? Well, I want you to commit me and then I want to be dragged off kicking and screaming. It will be very dramatic."
Lorelai still said nothing.
"Mom? I was joking. You were so talkative a second ago, which really is unusual at this time of the morning."
"Yeah, well I was brought coffee early this morning," Lorelai explained.
"Oh, so there is a guy there. Do tell."
Lorelai sighed. "Now sweetie, I want you to listen to everything I have to say, okay? No interruptions."
"What are you talking about? I just want to know who's there." Rory began to feel nervous. What was her mother going on about?
"And while you're allowed to be angry, please don't yell at me. I'm very fragile."
"You're not very fragile. You're one of the strongest people I know. Now, what are you talking about?"
"No interruptions?" Lorelai asked.
"Fine. Now, talk."
"Jess is awake."
All it took was those three little words. Something Rory had been waiting to hear for so long. She often imagined what it would be like to find out he was awake. She had thought about how she would react. At that moment, she couldn't remember any of those scenarios.
Suddenly, she didn't think she could stand anymore. She leaned backwards and let herself fall, expecting to land on the couch. Unfortunately, she was no longer in front of it. A large jolt ran up her spine as she hit the floor. She ignored the pain and concentrated on not dropping the phone in her hand. The noise her fall had made had probably woken up the entire building but lucky for her Sam was a sound sleeper.
"He's awake?" Rory managed to ask.
"Yeah."
Rory brought her hand to her head. She felt confused. If he was awake, why hadn't Lorelai called her? "And he's bringing you coffee?" That wasn't the question she had meant to ask. She wanted to know how he was and how long he had been awake. And if he had been asking for her. The coffee question had slipped out.
"Yeah." She paused. "It's time for the no interruptions part, okay?"
Rory nodded before she remembered that Lorelai couldn't see her. "Okay."
"He's been awake for awhile."
"Awhile? How longs awhile?"
"Someone can't follow directions."
"How long?" Rory asked again beginning to feel a tad angry.
"A little more than eight months."
Rory probably would have fallen down again if she hadn't already been sitting on the ground. "What?" She nearly yelled.
"Okay now you let me explain."
"Explain? He's been awake for eight months and you don't call me? What's going on?"
"Listen, Ror," Lorelai began in a calming voice. "When he first woke up, we weren't even sure he was going to make it. I didn't want to call you and tell you the great news only to have him die on you."
Rory remained silent. She wasn't supposed to interrupt and anyway, she was at a loss for words.
"It was a miracle that he even woke up after being unconscious for so long. He had to go through recovery too. It was long and painful. It was hard to watch him go through that."
"So what you were protecting me?"
"Yes. I guess I was trying to."
"I'm twenty-two. I don't need protecting."
"What if I was to tell you that for the longest time if I was to mention the name Rory to him he would have no idea who I was talking about?" Lorelai asked.
"What?"
"One of the most common side affects, oh listen to me sounding like a professional doctor."
"Mom, go on."
"Sorry. Memory loss is one of the most common side affects. We were very lucky that he didn't have actual brain damage."
"He couldn't remember anything?"
"Not until recently. Most of it's back except for a few holes here and there. They actually have a name for that too. Swiss Cheese Memory."
"This isn't funny."
"I'm being completely serious, that's what the doctor said."
"I didn't mean that. You're making this into a joke. I can't believe you didn't tell me he was awake," Rory said feeling anger rise inside of her. Jess was awake. Had been awake for several months. Looking down at her engagement ring, she felt a part of her begin to regret her acceptance. Unbelievable. Barely twelve hours after she says yes and she's already regretting it.
"Sweetie, it's not like I was planning on never telling you. That's not it at all. I just wanted…"
"So he's awake and he's fine?" Rory interrupted.
"Yes."
"That's all I need to know. I have to go get ready for work." She hung up without waiting for a goodbye. She hated being angry at her mom and she felt slightly bad for hanging up on her. But she hadn't told her about Jess. The reasons she gave her had made sense though. Seeing Jess with him not knowing who she was would have been hard. But still…
If only she had called Lorelai sooner. If only Sam had waited a couple of more days to propose. If only Jess hadn't. Her thought stopped there. Hadn't what? Hadn't woken up or hadn't lived? It was true that his death would simplify things. It would most likely give her the closure she so desperately needed. But to actually want that to happen? Rory felt a fresh wave of guilt wash over her. She hated having those horrible thoughts.
"Morning, babe."
Rory turned at the sound of Sam's voice. He was in the doorway of the living room standing in his boxers. On any other day she would be rushing over to him but today was different. There was a mix of sadness, guilt, anger, and happiness swirling inside of her. It was too much. She was so sick of emotions. "Morning," she muttered before getting up to head to the bathroom.
"Are you okay?" He asked concerned.
She stopped in front of him. "Yeah, I'm fine."
He leaned down to kiss her. She turned her head slightly so his lips would land on her cheek.
"Are you getting in the shower?"
"Yeah." She brushed past him and walked off to the bathroom. She stopped in the doorway and looked at him. "I'm going to Stars Hollow tonight after work."
A surprised look appeared on his face. But before he could respond Rory had entered the bathroom and shut the door.
A/N: Alright, before y'all yell at about how Lorelai would never keep that from her, let me explain. I don't like defending my writing but even I was like, okay, very odd. I wrote it this way because I wanted Jess awake and fully functional. Recovery from a coma, especially one that was so long, takes a long time. It's also a sad and painful process. I didn't want to have to write that and again I wanted a healthy Jess. Also, I didn't want him waking up fresh as a daisy because that does not happen. Oh, and Swiss Cheese Memory is actually a term I found on memory loss website. Go figure.