A/N: Thank you to everyone he reviewed. I'm glad you're enjoying it and I
know the amneisa was predictable, but hopefully I'll deal with it
differently, plus my brain short fused and I wasn't sure what else could be
wrong with her! Expect lots more updates now there's no college....and I
have no job. Enjoy!-Kiera
Chapter Five: Not That You Knew Me
John recieved a phone call from Randy that night, consisting simply of one sentance which he uttered in a low voice.
"She's awake. Come see her tomorrow."
He breathed a huge sigh of relief. Thank god. She was awake and as long as she was awake that was all that mattered. Everything was going to be alright. He didn't sleep that night, but hadn't since her accident, so getting out of bed at 5 am was becoming a habit for him. John was at the hospital early, his relief being replaced with another fear. Randy hadn't sounded thrilled, so that meant something was wrong and not knowing what it was made him feeling queasy. All his earlier thoughts of her being paralysed and what Doctor James had told him filled his head. Randy was waiting, outside Alex's room looking the same as he had three weeks before. John tried to look through the blinds into the room, but they where shut.
"I thought you didn't want me anywhere near her? I thought I was barred."
"The doctors think you should see her." Randy replied.
His heart sank and settled somewhere by his knees. She may be awake but it sounded bad. They obviously wanted him to see her for a reason. God. Randy moved away from the door and John's hand hoovered over the handle.
"What is it?" John asked him. "Why do they want me to see her? What's wrong?"
"She's lost her memory." Randy replied and he struggled to get the words out. "She doesn't remember the accident, who she is, who I am. Nothing. The doctors want as many people as possible to visit her. To help her."
He hadn't even thought of that. The possibilty of Alex losing her memory, her idenity, had never crossed John's mind, and because it hadn't, it hit him hard. It took his breath away. He was going to be a nobody to her, and to him, she wouldn't be the women he'd loved. John looked at Randy who seemed to be struggling to keep himself in check and it was the first time John felt sorry for him. Not even when he was trying to steal Alex away on their wedding day did John feeling any sympathy for what Randy could potentially feel. But now he did, because they where both going through it. John understood that it was probably worse for Randy because he thought he'd won. Alex had been his, game over. Not now.
"How is she taking it?" John asked.
"Fine, because she doesn't understand what she's lost." He couldn't contain the quiver in his voice. "I didn't wnat to ask you for your help. But if it helps her in anyway, then I'll do it."
John didn't say anything else. He opened the door and went in. Alex was sitting up in bed. Just seeing her awake made him feel better, but seconds later the worst part came. Her face remained blank. There was nothing in her eyes, not even the briefest glimpse of recognisation. Even when she'd hate him there'd always been something in her eyes, and seeing nothing was horrible. He forced a smile and sat next to her.
"Let me guess. You're not a doctor and I already have a husband, so, cousin?"
John would of laughed. Except Alex was being deadly serious and it wasn't funny.
"Friends."
"Just friends?"
God, what a question. A million replies burst through his brain, but he pushed them all back.
"Yeah. Just friends. I'm John."
"I'm Alexandra."
A sudden sweeping wave of sadness hit him. She was introducing herself to him all over again. John could hardly bear it. He wanted to grab hold of her and hug her. He didn't. His eyes wandered over her face. Bruised and swollen, but he could still see the old, untouched Alex. Breaking through in places.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like I'm being held together by glue. All everyone keeps telling me is how lucky I am. But I don't count losing my memory as lucky."
"At least you're alive. That's what really counts."
She nodded and then looked down at her hands. "They said I can go home in a week. With Randy."
It was then John reailsed that she really had been lucky. The Doctor's had been preparing them for the worst and she was awake, sitting up, talking and going home in a week.
"I bet there's loads of things you want to know."
"Randy filled me in. My name's Alexandra Orton, I've been married six weeks. I'm a wrestler. I don't have any brothers or sisters and my birthday is in August."
She sounded like she was reading from a script. A script from someone else's life.
"Yeah, but there's other things."
"Like?' she prompted, looking him in the eye.
"Like. Your favorite TV shows are Happy Days and Queer eye for the straight guy." She wrinkled her nose.
"Your favorite book is Little women, but you cry everytime you read it, and you always cry when you watch Titanic."
"I sound like a whimp, Happy Day's sounds crap, What the hell is Little Women and Titanic sounds like a spaceship. Am I into science fiction?"
He smiled, he couldn't help it, but it quickly faded. He couldn't do this. He couldn't sit there and give Alex her own life story. Not while she looked at him like the stranger he was to her. He had to leave, right now. John got out of his chair quickly.
"I have to go, but I'll come in to see you again before you go home."
He almost ran to the door. Randy was standing right on the other side, he looked as him as if expecting a mircle to have occured.
"Bye John." Alex called from behind him, and it broke his heart.
Chapter Five: Not That You Knew Me
John recieved a phone call from Randy that night, consisting simply of one sentance which he uttered in a low voice.
"She's awake. Come see her tomorrow."
He breathed a huge sigh of relief. Thank god. She was awake and as long as she was awake that was all that mattered. Everything was going to be alright. He didn't sleep that night, but hadn't since her accident, so getting out of bed at 5 am was becoming a habit for him. John was at the hospital early, his relief being replaced with another fear. Randy hadn't sounded thrilled, so that meant something was wrong and not knowing what it was made him feeling queasy. All his earlier thoughts of her being paralysed and what Doctor James had told him filled his head. Randy was waiting, outside Alex's room looking the same as he had three weeks before. John tried to look through the blinds into the room, but they where shut.
"I thought you didn't want me anywhere near her? I thought I was barred."
"The doctors think you should see her." Randy replied.
His heart sank and settled somewhere by his knees. She may be awake but it sounded bad. They obviously wanted him to see her for a reason. God. Randy moved away from the door and John's hand hoovered over the handle.
"What is it?" John asked him. "Why do they want me to see her? What's wrong?"
"She's lost her memory." Randy replied and he struggled to get the words out. "She doesn't remember the accident, who she is, who I am. Nothing. The doctors want as many people as possible to visit her. To help her."
He hadn't even thought of that. The possibilty of Alex losing her memory, her idenity, had never crossed John's mind, and because it hadn't, it hit him hard. It took his breath away. He was going to be a nobody to her, and to him, she wouldn't be the women he'd loved. John looked at Randy who seemed to be struggling to keep himself in check and it was the first time John felt sorry for him. Not even when he was trying to steal Alex away on their wedding day did John feeling any sympathy for what Randy could potentially feel. But now he did, because they where both going through it. John understood that it was probably worse for Randy because he thought he'd won. Alex had been his, game over. Not now.
"How is she taking it?" John asked.
"Fine, because she doesn't understand what she's lost." He couldn't contain the quiver in his voice. "I didn't wnat to ask you for your help. But if it helps her in anyway, then I'll do it."
John didn't say anything else. He opened the door and went in. Alex was sitting up in bed. Just seeing her awake made him feel better, but seconds later the worst part came. Her face remained blank. There was nothing in her eyes, not even the briefest glimpse of recognisation. Even when she'd hate him there'd always been something in her eyes, and seeing nothing was horrible. He forced a smile and sat next to her.
"Let me guess. You're not a doctor and I already have a husband, so, cousin?"
John would of laughed. Except Alex was being deadly serious and it wasn't funny.
"Friends."
"Just friends?"
God, what a question. A million replies burst through his brain, but he pushed them all back.
"Yeah. Just friends. I'm John."
"I'm Alexandra."
A sudden sweeping wave of sadness hit him. She was introducing herself to him all over again. John could hardly bear it. He wanted to grab hold of her and hug her. He didn't. His eyes wandered over her face. Bruised and swollen, but he could still see the old, untouched Alex. Breaking through in places.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like I'm being held together by glue. All everyone keeps telling me is how lucky I am. But I don't count losing my memory as lucky."
"At least you're alive. That's what really counts."
She nodded and then looked down at her hands. "They said I can go home in a week. With Randy."
It was then John reailsed that she really had been lucky. The Doctor's had been preparing them for the worst and she was awake, sitting up, talking and going home in a week.
"I bet there's loads of things you want to know."
"Randy filled me in. My name's Alexandra Orton, I've been married six weeks. I'm a wrestler. I don't have any brothers or sisters and my birthday is in August."
She sounded like she was reading from a script. A script from someone else's life.
"Yeah, but there's other things."
"Like?' she prompted, looking him in the eye.
"Like. Your favorite TV shows are Happy Days and Queer eye for the straight guy." She wrinkled her nose.
"Your favorite book is Little women, but you cry everytime you read it, and you always cry when you watch Titanic."
"I sound like a whimp, Happy Day's sounds crap, What the hell is Little Women and Titanic sounds like a spaceship. Am I into science fiction?"
He smiled, he couldn't help it, but it quickly faded. He couldn't do this. He couldn't sit there and give Alex her own life story. Not while she looked at him like the stranger he was to her. He had to leave, right now. John got out of his chair quickly.
"I have to go, but I'll come in to see you again before you go home."
He almost ran to the door. Randy was standing right on the other side, he looked as him as if expecting a mircle to have occured.
"Bye John." Alex called from behind him, and it broke his heart.