A/N- when my writer's block left me for a moment, this one just came to me. It might have been since I was reading the book. It's seriously the wb, a whole bunch of ranting, raving and non-sense. :-D
Disclaimer- I own nothing. Princess Bride belongs to S. Morgenstern, and Gilmore Girls belongs to Amy Pallendino and the WB. And if you haven't seen or read Princess Bride. Seriously consider it. Thank you
"…heard of Plato? Socrates? Idiots!"
The distinct laughter of a female rang throughout the room.
"And this is where…"
Her aggravated boyfriend proceeded to throw popcorn towards her general direction. They were in the same situation as the previous Saturday night, only this time; his girlfriend's mother was out on a 'hot date' with diner man.
"For the 47th time today Rory, shut up."
"But Tristan, don't you remember, you love hearing the ringing of my angelic voice."
It took until the sophomore year at Yale to unexpectedly bump into each other. And three months, 589 cups of coffee later, they had officially started dating. Of course, after he had shared his first kiss with her as a boyfriend and girlfriend, he had said that he could live on just listening to her talk because, as mentioned, 'the ringing of her angelic voice' made his day. And even after a year, he still wasn't able to live it down.
"How many more times do I have to watch this movie?"
"As many times it take for me to forget that Fezzik dies."
She had insisted he buy the book for her after being completely obsessed with the movie for the last six months. And she had wanted the original one thousand plus paged book written by S. Morgenstern, not the 'pansy abridged version'. And it took him four months and two hundred or so dollars to find it. It was just his luck that the original was out of print and could only be found in old antique bookstores, in dusty little corners where the black widows liked to spin their web. Only right after he bought the book and gave it to her did she pass by a Barnes and Nobles to see the abridged version had "The first chapter of the long-lost sequel, Buttercup's Baby". She read the abridged version, claiming she didn't have the time to finish 'that ridiculously thick book', praising the abridged version, calling it 'a god' and 'such a time saver'. And to his luck, she had just finished reading the book the month previous and was whining about the death of her 'favorite character' since. But to his much annoyance, every single one of them was her favorite character.
"Tristan, they killed off my favorite character!"
"Westley?"
"Westley? Are you serious? Did I miss something?"
She grabbed her now new but worn-to-death book out of her bag and furiously started to flip through the pages. Tristan pulled the tattered book out of her hand.
"Rory, I was asking you if it was Westley. And dear woman, what have you done to this book? This was new a week ago."
"Yes, well, I read it whenever I had a chance between studying for tests and stuff, mostly when I'm doing my laundry or cleaning my room or on the bus or…"
"When don't you read it?"
"In the shower. Wait, I think I tried that. But the water and mist didn't do the book good, which is why the bind is coming off. I'm thinking about buying a new…"
Tristan brought his index finger to her lips to shush her. But she proceeded to talk through his finger.
"…one. But then I thought about it and…"
"Rory, usually, when a person puts a finger on another person's mouth, it a signal for the other person to shut up."
"Anyhow, Fezzik died. Can you believe that? Morgenstern killed off Fezzik. I think we should go, dig him out of his grave, and maim him."
It was actually kind of funny how many copies she had of the book. She had also claimed she didn't want to read the sequel since she was afraid of what it might do to her opinion of The Princess Bride. For some strange reason, she became infinitely obsessed with the movie and book, owning exactly nine copies of the book. One of them was the original copy he had worked so hard in finding, the only one of the nine that was not read. She had placed it on a mantle, claiming it to be 'holy'. And when Tristan tried to explain to Rory books were meant to be read, Lorelai told him to ride it out.
"Rory, I took four months, count them, FOUR to find this book for you. The least you can do is READ it. I can't believe I'm even asking you to do that. You're the one usually begging me to read."
Rory gingerly held out the old but well-kept, leather bound book. She brought it to her breast, as though it were an infant.
"But Tristan, you should be happy. I'm not taking this gift for granted. I'm worshipping it for it's worth. I'm going to mantle it up on the living room and…"
"Rory, can you hear yourself? This is just a book…"
"JUST a BOOK? JUST! Are you insane? Do you even KNOW what you're talking about!"
"Ror…"
Lorelai shook her head.
"Honey, don't fight it. Trust me, I've tried to reason with her and there isn't any reasoning to be done. Reason has gone from her head and disappeared to heaven knows where. I have to live with her, I know. Just embrace it; even worship it with her. Hey, I just replace it with coffee in my mind."
She owned five copies of the movie, one in VHS form and the other four in DVD. The one of VHS was a just-in-case-the-DVD-player-breaks copy. One was at home, another in her dorm, another in her computer and the other, and might it be said unwillingly, at Tristan's apartment. She was actually lucky enough to find one of Tristan's friend's girlfriend was a former Princess Bride Addict that was willing to sell all of her excess for cheap.
"Jen, are you serious? I mean, all that?"
The brunette nodded her head as her boyfriend standing beside Tristan, patted him on the back.
"Man, I feel bad for you. When Jen went through this for a year, I thought I was going to hang myself"
Tristan groaned when he saw Jen hand a box full of the 'goods' to Rory.
"She did get over it. Right? Mike, dude, I need to hear it. I need to hear you say 'she got over it'."
"To a certain extent…"
"Mike, she's selling her stuff. That must mean she got over it."
"I watched it with her right before we came and met with you. She kept two copies of the movie and book."
Jen and Rory were going on about how the parenthetical comments made by Morgenstern were genius and how unfairly Fezzik died. Tristan sighed loudly in the background.
"I am a dead man."
"…and this one left them all behind."
Rory sniffled as she curled into Tristan's lap. If it weren't for the fact that Rory was in such a close proximity to him, he might have gone insane. In fact, if it were any girl except Rory, he would have gone insane.
"Rory, why exactly DO we have to watch this movie so much?"
"Because I love it silly."
"And why do you love it so much?"
She acted as though she was deep in thought.
"I might be Cary Elwes. You have to admit, that man is hot. I mean like smoking hot. He's the reason why I loved Robin Hood Men in Tights when I was ten. I think it might be the blonde hair, blue-eyed complex. At least, that would explain you."
Tristan acted as though he was wounded, but he wasn't. In truth, he loved her too deeply and wholly it was kind of like that was Westley and Buttercup. He had always loved her and she took awhile, but got around to it. When he saw her, he knew she was the one he would spend the rest of his life with, it didn't need to be said or asked, it was just a known fact.
"Are you trying to make me jealous?"
"Well, maybe. I mean, how come you never do romantic stuff like that for me?"
"What are you talking about? Last winter break, I flew you out to Paris with me for a two-week getaway. And spring break I took you to the Caribbean islands. And on your birthday, I took you to California so you can see the sun set down into the ocean. If anything else, I spoil you."
"Yeah, but I mean, you never go all Gone With the Wind and kiss with the falling sun and curtains."
Tristan laughed, shaking his head is amusement while his girlfriend got off his lap and gave him a small peck on his lips.
"You know I love you right?"
He wrapped his arms around her waist, nuzzling his nose into the crook of her neck. He could smell the strawberry shower gel she used to wash. That and the intoxicating smell of mango from her hair were driving him crazy. He couldn't get enough of her.
"Don't you mean 'as you wish'?"
"It didn't fit right there. But now that you brought it up, how come we don't have something completely sugary sweet and corny like that for each other?"
Her neck muffled Tristan's groan.
"Shut up."
"Maybe if you kiss me, I will."
And for once, Tristan agreed. He leaned closely to kiss her, only whispering these words before infusing his lips with hers.
"As you wish."
A/N: I've gotten a few comments and emails about this one. Yes, I do realize that the abridged version is the real version, and that Morgenstern does not exist. But I realized this about a day after I wrote the rough draft of this story. But, I posted it without changing that storyline because it didn't fit anymore. The heavy and worshiped book and the cute, fluffy fights. I mean, it just wasn't possible without it.