Yes!! I finally got internet connection at home now! Sorry about the delay, and all the future delays that have yet to come because the connection is kinda iffy... Here's chapter three!

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH.

- Reassurance -

Hiei's feet carried him far that evening. In his mind, he wanted to locate a very distant place, one he could easily forget after that night. He didn't mind that he was traveling further and further into territory he wasn't familiar with. Just so long as he had his jagan, he could find his way back home.

The spot he decided on was a remote wooded area that seemed derived of life. Many things around him were either dying or already dead. Here, there was nothing to miss and everything to forget.

He realized that this was the area he often went to to purge the memories and experiences he loathed the most. The area wasn't exactly one he preferred, but it was perfect for the purpose he'd assigned it. Here, not only would it be the place for him to forget all that hindered him, it would also be a place for Kurama to banish all regrets as well.

The thought of that made Hiei smile a little to himself. He was alone now, and the smile went unseen, just as he needed it to. He kneeled next to an open spot of hardened, gray mud. He reached into his pocket and took out the offending vial.

He took a good look at it, studying it hard. This was the stuff Kurama dared to use, for even just a second. What was that fox thinking, trying to throw his life away like that? Hiei's curiosity made him a little nervous. Thinking of the reasons why Kurama would do that was beginning to scar him.

Youko Kurama wasn't known for being nice, and Hiei often wondered how good he'd treated himself. Kurama was always talking about how this was a big thing for him, getting his second chance. About how much he didn't want to ruin it. But then he would go ahead and make something like this, telling Hiei that he just wanted to see if he could do it. Hiei knew it was a lie. He thought of it as nothing else but.

He sat the vial down in front of him and sat back. It was nothing more than a tiny glass bottle filled with a purplish liquid and stopped up with a cork. It was runny, not thick. Seven doses. Seven whole doses with not as much as an ounce of fluid.

Hiei looked up, watching a few leaves newly separated from their trees falling in spirals towards the ground. He watched them settle and then get swept away by another gust of wind. His eyes returned to the vial.

It just sat there, staring back at him. He reached over and picked it up.

"Kurama..." he murmured. "After this, I swear if you do anything so foolish..." He shook his head and set the thing down. "No...you won't, will you...? You're better than that. You're my fox." Hiei watched the vial a little longer before setting it aflame. The glass burst, but the heat was enough to make the shards disintegrate before they could hit the ground. Hiei made sure to destroy every trace of it. He stood. It was time to put all of this behind him.

Kurama leaned back against the pillows propped up on his bed. He looked around, his eyes settling on his left desk drawer. His expression became a little more focused. He let his eyes linger there. He knew what was inside, and it taunted him.

'You know, Kurama?' This was almost always how his thoughts began. 'Once you take it, things'll start looking up. You can't still be having doubts about it, of course it will work. You know what you're doing, what you were doing when you made it. Just try it, it'll work.

'Once you do and you go home, things will be different. Kuwabara ditched you today, Yusuke's ditched you before, and Shiori's been working your nerves lately. It wouldn't hurt to try. You could always just try one dose and then use the rest later if you're so unsure. But I'm telling you Kurama. It will work.

'Imagine, you'll be free in the makai, won't you? Oh, don't worry. He'll be there, too. But he won't hold you back, tie you down. Imagine, you'll be home again. It's not the same in this body, or in that body, old and getting a bit rusty. Of course you enjoyed the vitality, of course you want the feelings of your youth...and you want them back, don't you?

'Shuuichi won't remain young forever, you know that. He'll age and die and then you'll age and die, but if you do this, Kurama, just think. Just think of what you'll gain. Sure your time will come, but you remember her, don't you? She withered away into nothing. You'll die in battle looking your very best and at your very best.

'That's the only way to go...the only way you should ever go. It's inevitable, Kurama. There's no reason to make it harder for you, to die not at your best, but weak and undeserving of death. You'll die when it's right, and it will never be right until you restore your body. Go to it. Get it... Take it... Live.'

Kurama got up from the bed very slowly, biting his lip as he crept over to the drawer, acting as if he were about to sneak out of the house. He reached out for it, only noticing then that his hand was shaking quite a bit. He burped silently, the taste of stale popcorn in his mouth. His fingertips touched the drawer handle. Kurama breathed in deep and then out very slowly. His fingers slid and hooked the handle. He pulled forward.

"Shuuichi..." his mother called. He slammed the drawer shut and whipped towards the door. Shiori knocked. "Shuuichi...?" Kurama breathed a sigh out harshly, lowering his eyes before looking at the door. A part of him couldn't believe he was actually about to take it out. And...perhaps... "Shuuichi...you okay in there?"

"Yes," Kurama said, looking around the room as if he wanted to hide something that was sitting out. He shook his head and went over to the door. He opened it. "Everything's just fine," he told her. "Why...what's the matter?"

"Just checking in on you," she said, smiling. "You know, even though you've finished school, I still expect to see you coming home at a certain time and doing your homework."

"I suppose I'll have to start that back up soon enough..." Kurama said, smiling as well. "College is not that far away." Shiori nodded.

"You're right," she said. "I'm sorry I'm home so late and couldn't fix dinner..."

"Oh...I'm sorry...I didn't even think about that," Kurama said. "I could have made something..."

"I'll fix you something if you're hungry..."

"Hiei and I went to the movies earlier," Kurama said, "so I'm not hungry. How about you? Could I fix you something?" Shiori patted his chest.

"Don't you worry about it," she said. "I'll take care of it." She reached up and hugged him. "You going to bed?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Good. I'll see you in the morning."

"Right."

"Goodnight, Shuuichi..."

"Have a good rest mother..." She smiled at him again and headed down the stairs. Kurama closed the door and leaned against it, his eyes immediately falling on the drawer. He went over to it and opened it quickly, not allowing any time for hesitation. He stared at the vial hard, going over to his bed and sitting down.

Why? was the only thing he could ask himself.

Why was he having those thoughts? He looked down at the vial, squeezing it hard. His palms had begun to sweat.

How? How had he convinced himself to do this? How could he possibly make himself believe that he was sick of Shiori and that Yusuke and Kuwabara were blowing him off? None of it was true. Yusuke was sick that day, Keiko told him herself. Kuwabara just wasn't comfortable around Hiei, that was all. He loved his mother dearly, how dare he deny her that? Kurama sank back against his pillows.

"I won't take you..." he muttered. 'I'll stick you under my pillow as proof that my will cannot be so easily broken.' He lifted his pillow and set the vial on his bed. He sat his pillow over it and laid down. He flipped out his light and turned over, away from the window.

He did not see the pair of eyes watching him just a few feet away.

Thanks for waiting and sticking with me. I hope to get the next chapter out soon! Please review! Ta ta!

J3