Chapter 2: Help
The next morning, Monk was sterilizing his dishes when the phone rang.
"Hi, Sharona," he said, knowing that no one else ever called him.
"I'm not Sharona, Monk," the voice on the other end said.
"Randy? Is that you? How did you get my phone number? What happened to Sharona that you're calling me? Oh, God, I can't breathe…losing air…need to get off phone," Monk gasped, not used to talking to other people on his phone.
"Monk, relax," Randy ordered him. "Oh, right – you don't know how. Amyways, the Captain just wanted me to call – aw, hell, that's a lie. Sharona said you kissed her last night. What's going on, Monk?"
"There's nothing going on, Randy," Monk scoffed. "It wasn't like I kissed her or something."
"Didn't you hear what I just said, Monk? You did kiss Sharona last night. She's wondering why."
"Why doesn't she ask me herself then?" Monk asked.
"Well, because, uh, she doesn't want to scare you off…or something," Randy responded, obviously making the whole thing up. "She wasn't very clear when she called me. She was still in shock over what happened."
"Randy, I said there's nothing going on," Monk insisted. "It was just a friendly kiss, that's all."
"Monk, you don't kiss people," Randy pointed out, getting aggravated. "Just the thought of it makes you ill." He leaned closer to his phone and lowered his voice. "Now, I want to know what's going on, because rumors are starting to fly."
"What – what kind of rumors?" Monk squeaked.
"People are saying Sharona's changed you, that you've forgotten about Trudy and you're in love with Sharona. The Captain thinks you two are going to end up getting married. This is getting out of hand. I need to know why you kissed her."
Monk sighed. "I'll tell you if you do me a favor."
"Yeah, sure, anything," Randy agreed.
"Don't you even want to know what the favor is before agreeing to do it?" Monk asked.
"I want to know what's going on," Randy insisted. "I don't care what the favor is. I'll do it."
"It's just that most people would want to know what the favor was before they actually agreed to it, that's all," Monk continued, ignoring everything Randy just said.
"Fine, Monk, what's the favor?" Randy asked, frustrated.
"Well, if you're going to be that way about it…"
"Dammit, Monk, I don't have time for this!"
"Wow, you're really starting to sound like the Captain," Monk said, sounding impressed.
"Really?" Randy asked, flattered. "I do look up to him, you know." Suddenly, he remembered what he was supposed to be doing and said, "Stop changing the subject. What's the favor?"
"I don't appreciate your tone of…"
"NOW!" Randy exploded, causing a few people in the station to give him weird looks. "I mean, could you please tell me what the favor is?"
"I need you to go to the record store and buy a compact disc by a band called The Knack," Monk informed him.
"The Knack?" Randy asked. "Aw, man, I love them. They had that song, 'My Sharona.'" He paused, thinking about the song, then realized the significance and yelled into the phone, "You ARE in love with Sharona, aren't you?"
"Who's in love with me?" Randy turned around warily to face Sharona, who was looking at him with a bewildered look on her face.