Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers. Someone else does. I don't know whom because it keeps changing. Please don't get offended if I insult your favorite character. Some pairings are easy to write a story for while others are really tough. So please realize that some of my stories will be better than others. Hi to all my fellow AFPR's including my fellow female Psychos :). And I really appreciate the reviews :).
Ok, this is the ninth of the requested pairings. This one was requested by losing my mind. Oh, and since it is Christmas day, I decided to give this story a special holiday theme :).
Merry Christmas!
Eric and Alex
By
Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)
"Thank God, I'm finally done with this damned shopping," Eric groaned as he struggled to rebalance all the bags he had accumulated. As usual, Taylor had decided to wait until Christmas Eve to give him her and the children's lists. And God forbid he comes up even one gift short. Last year, Eric had bought only half of the presents she had demanded he get. As a result, he had been forced to spend last Christmas Day standing in the corner.
Eric took a few more staggering steps under the weight of his packages. Then he shouted a long string of vile obscenities when they fell onto the mall floor. At the Santa line right next to him, parents scowled and covered their little tots' ears. One little girl with an inattentive father parroted Eric's slip of the tongue.
Sheepishly, Eric began to pick up his scattered packages. As he reached for Taylor's 'Mega Vibrator' (which she claimed was just for massaging her feet), Eric heard a very familiar voice.
"Ho, ho…. holy shit! Lady, buy some extra-large diapers. Your brat's not even toilet trained!" Eric distinctly heard a smack and watched as a grumbling woman dragged her child away. "Oh great! I can't put the next 'little darling' on my lap until I get the crap off. I'm going on a break." With that, the mall Santa stood up and walked away, completely ignoring the cries of children and curses of parents.
Eric saw his eyes as he headed his way. "Wes?" He asked. "No, wait, you can't be Wes. He and Jen are holidaying in the Riviera on their yacht. Besides, there's no way he'd be desperate enough to work as a mall San…wait a second. Alex???"
Alex groaned as he tried to push his way past Eric who was effectively blocking his way. The very last thing he had wanted was any reminder of his life as a Ranger. And the very, very last thing he had wanted was to be reminded about the man who had ruined his life.
"Ok, ok, you're right! Now, get out of my way, Myers, I've got a bit of an emergency here."
The pungent odor wafting from the Santa suit prompted Eric to quickly step aside. "Earhardt," he mumbled as he began walking next to Alex.
"Huh?" asked Alex in confusion. "Future records have your last name as Myers."
"I wish," complained Eric. "But Taylor insisted that I be the one to change my name when we married."
"Talk about pistol-whipped," mumbled Alex. "And you agreed?"
Eric sighed. "Well, she was holding my Quantum Defender over the trash compactor at the time."
They had arrived at the changing area. Eric dropped his packages on a chair and waited outside while Alex went in to put on one of the spare Santa suits. "So," he called. "What are you doing here in the past? I thought you were strictly against time travel that wasn't official business." He didn't even notice the blinking security camera in the corner, nor realized that an overeager young security guard was on his way to making his fortune by being the first to break the news about 'creatures from the future' to the press.
"I AM on official business," lied Alex. "I'm after a mastermind time traveling criminal."
Eric was skeptical. "Oh, really? And I suppose dressing as Santa and dealing with cranky kids and parents is part of it?"
"Well, I uh…" Alex stepped out of the changing room. "I mean…he's a midget?"
Eric crossed his arms and glared at Alex. "You would have an adult male midget sit on your lap? Oh come on, even you can't be that desperate."
"But…Oh, what's the use!" cried Alex. "You're right. There's no criminal, except me. I'm hiding here against Time Force regulations."
Eric was puzzled. Alex was the one person he knew who was more of a stickler for rules and regulations than he. "But, you're a top-ranked Time Force officer. Jen told us you were up for receiving a promotion to 'Ultimate Super General Lord'."
"I was," moaned Alex. "But then 'he' showed up. And bit by bit, he took my life away."
"Huh? Who do you mean? Who's 'he'?"
Alex stared incredulously at Eric. "You can't be that stupid. Think about it for a second."
Eric stared blankly back at Alex.
"Wes!!!" screamed Alex. "Wes stole my life from me!" He was beginning to foam at the mouth. "He took my Red Ranger Powers! I should be wearing that red outfit…not this cruddy one!" He pulled at the cheap red fabric on his outfit.
"I thought you gave them to him because the others kept on complaining about having to fight behind you." Eric was a bit hesitant to point this out, but he was hoping to calm Alex before mall security kicked them both out for disturbing the peace.
"Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better? Sheesh, just because I had that bad gas problem…" At that point, they had arrived back at the Santa area. Alex settled back into his chair and quickly got back into character. "Ho Ho Ho! Hello little girl, what would you like for Christmas?"
As the child blathered on about her Christmas list, Alex continued his conversation with Eric in a staged whisper. "And if stealing my powers wasn't enough, Wes also had to steal my fiancée."
"But they only fell in love because she thought you were dead." Outwardly, Eric was trying to show common sense. Inwardly, he was jumping for joy because at least one Ranger had a worse life than he did.
"Oh, come on! (Oh, yes, a grenade launcher would be wonderful, honey). She KNEW I wasn't dead. No one dies unless they get very old or are too stupid or lazy to call the Emergency Systems. (And what would you like for Christmas little boy?) Or are you forgetting we have billions of those devices that saved Mr. Collins and your life?"
"Aw really?" asked Eric in disappointment. "And I always thought I had magical self-healing powers." He made a mental note to try to cancel the remainder of the high-explosive demos that he had agree to do for Taylor's air force buddies. "But, I thought you broke up amiably with her."
"Of course I was agreeable. She didn't know it, but top secret records indicated that Wes was my great, great, great, great, great…well you know…grandfather. I didn't give a crap about him. But I sure as hell didn't want to get wiped out of existence. So I let her and the others go save his life. After all, she was supposed to come back and remain in MY time. I had plans to win her back."
"Uh, sure," said Eric skeptically. "Knowing you, it would have been a date on the firing range."
"Are you kidding? The archery target area is far more romantic. (Yeoooucchh! Hey you damned little bastard, Santa gives coal to little boys who bite noses!)" Alex shoved the boy off his lap and then felt his nose. "I'm bleeding here! That does it, I quit!" With that, he ripped off his beard and hat and stomped away.
Eric shrugged at the mothers and fathers of now disillusioned wailing children who were glaring murderously at him. Then he turned and headed after Alex.
"Wait a second there!" Eric caught up with him in the men's room where Alex was ineffectively dabbing at his injury with tissue paper. "The others told Wes and I that you were doing great and that you were eagerly awaiting that promotion. What happened?"
"What happened?" Alex tossed the tissue into a waste can. "WHAT HAPPENED???? I allowed Jen to stay in the past with Wes."
"THE MALL WILL BE CLOSING IN FIVE MINUTES," said a voice over the store loudspeaker.
"Ah, so you decided that her happiness was more important than your own." Eric smiled. "How sweet."
"Are you kidding? Jen wouldn't stop with the constant nagging and whining day in and day out. I finally had to let her out of my closet. She then ran off and immediately joined the mission to fight the mutorgs." Alex groaned. "I wanted to call her back in after the mission. But Jen threatened a 'wrongful imprisonment' lawsuit."
"And you lost your promotion because of that?" asked Eric. "But why are you hiding in the past?"
Alex sighed. "Captain Logan issued an order for my arrest. He's always been jealous about the way I've moved up through the ranks so quickly. So, ever since then I've been hiding in the past. Screw TimeForce and their regulations."
"THE MALL IS NOW CLOSED," came the loudspeaker voice again. "PLEASE EXIT BY THE SIDE DOORS AND THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT 'SCUZZBAG MALL'."
Eric and Alex headed out the side door. "Well, I have to thank you," said Eric with a smug grin.
"What for?" asked Alex, who had put on a ridiculously large hat and sunglasses. "I didn't do anything."
"Actually, you did. I was feeling a bit down about my dead end life. But at least it's not as bad as…" Eric stopped dead his tracks. His face blanched. "Nooooo!!!!!" He ran back to the door and tried to open it. It was locked. Eric banged on the doors and then slid down the to ground sobbing.
Alex, who had been feeling a bit down, smirked at this. "What's wrong, Eric?" he asked with false sympathy.
"My…my…presents. I left them in that damned changing room." Eric began to wail. "Oh, Taylor is going to kill me!" He continued to sob.
"Wow, and I thought my life was pathetic," commented Alex. "Thank God I didn't get married after all. I should go thank Wes for taking Jen. What a pal."